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Topic : 09/05 The Divorce Experiment

Number of Replies: 531
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Created on : Friday, May 12, 2006, 10:03:49 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 05/16/06) Are you married to a man who doesn't know how good he has it? You do the cooking, the cleaning, take care of the kids, and he still takes you for granted? After seven years, Amy finds herself in a marriage where she is expected to wait on her husband hand and foot, and never voice her opinion. Her husband, Greg, is a self-proclaimed male chauvinist pig, and says his wife's job is to take care of the family without questioning his role as "king" of the house. Amy says if Greg doesn't learn to treat her like his equal and not his servant, she's going to divorce him. Dr. Phil sends in a Relationship Rescue team of strong women to teach Greg a lesson! While Amy is sent off on a special trip to build her self-esteem, Greg gets three new "wives" who give him a dose of his own medicine as they put him through all that he demands of his wife on a daily basis. Will he finally see Amy as his equal and become a better spouse in the process? Talk about the show here.

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May 13, 2006, 8:19 am CDT

Divorce did not change my EX lol

 After my divorce in 2000 my ex and I did as most do and lived apart. One of my son's who suffers from ADHD was having a hard time with our divorce. Not wanting my children to suffer from us not making right choices, it was agreed that we would live together in the same house with separate rooms, split the bills, share in the responsibility of raising our children.  He said he would be a Mr. Mom do the cooking and cleaning!!! Well, the "EX" drives a school bus one hour in the morning and one hour in the afternoon. I work 50 to 60 hours a week. He sits on his butt and plays games on the computer and no longer helps around the house as he agreed. I am divorced, living with a man that I hate, who is very lazy and feel I have gave up my life because of my sons needs...... 
 
May 13, 2006, 8:27 am CDT

divorce experiment

You cant say why did she marry this man because maybe he wasnt this way before they were married. He wouldnt last with me. She needs to stand up to him and tell him he aint crippled. he can fend for himself. getting things for him is okay as long as he does for her in return. All the cleaning and cooking and laundry  canbe shared by both. ITS NOT A WOMANS JOB. both partners have to put in 100%. If he doent chnage his way then kick him out to the curb.....
 
May 13, 2006, 8:30 am CDT

05/16 The Divorce Experiment

Quote From: shiralee68

In the movie "Kramer vs. Kramer" the two parents were in a scene where they were arguing over their daughter and each had hold of one of her hands and you could see that they'd pull her apart physically, but she began to scream and in the end got a lawyer and divorced her parents........ a precious little girl. So obviously no one is focused on their children, only on what they view in their own mirrors.

I DO focus on my son.  When he is here (not in pre-school) I play with him, work with him, involve him in cleaning stuff, take him grocery shopping, etc.  I do NOT train clients whilst he is home.  That's why I get up so early to train them BEFORE he's up and AFTER my wife has come home and can watch him.  I also schedule them when he's at pre-school.   

  

For the most part, he stays clear of his mom because he doesn't like to be yelled out.  My son and I are very close and those nights that a client isn't scheduled, we both hide out in my studio. 

 
May 13, 2006, 9:20 am CDT

divorce experiment

Quote From: purplepain

My question is, why did she marry this man in the first place? Did they not discuss their roles in the marriage before hand?

Guess I'll see if that gets answered.
When you are dating, you are a queen.  When you marry, he becomes King.  MY experience has been  that I divorced over religious reasons.  He thought he was God, and I didn't!  That husband needs a swift kick in the ass.  Jackie
 
May 13, 2006, 9:31 am CDT

To All Men

Dear Dr. Phil 

I usually don't voice my opinion, nor do I usually quote scripture.  But I got to tell you, I am getting really upset with all the men I see that disrespect there wives in so many ways.  And this is something they should consider.  The bible clearly states in Ephesians 5:28-29.  

28-So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 

Have them ask themselves if thats how they would treat themselves.  

29-For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but NOURISHETH AND CHERISHETH IT, even as the Lord the Church.  

So should they not nourish and cherish their wives as they would their own selves. 

God created woman to be a HELP mate, not a slave mate.  To be by their side, not at their feet, or behind them. Don't they understand the difference. 

 
May 13, 2006, 9:43 am CDT

I believe it's a two way street

and communication is the key.  My husband and I have been married for almost eight years and we don't have any children but we still had a problem with his helping out around the house.  I don't like to argue but at some point I had enough and let him have it.  We both work full-time jobs and now we share house and yard responsibitities.  You have to talk about it and if you can't then either buck up and take it or get out while you can.
 
May 13, 2006, 10:05 am CDT

divorce

I just want to say, reading about the show and some of the other replies, could have been from me also.  Been married 23 years, and have decided to end it.  When I told my SO, that I wanted one all I got was an, OK.  Thats it,,,not what can we do to save it?  what can I do?  nothing.  We don't communicate, we dont sleep in the same rooms.  I've had it.   He thinks my job is to work outside the home and still do all the cooking, cleaning , laundry, etc.   I do what I have to do just to stay sane and get thru each day.   I do have a positive outlook though, because I know now that there will be some happiness at the end of this long mess.   Looking back, the last 10 years have been me trying to keep this marriage up and running and nothing on his part to contribute to it, except the god almighty paycheck.   It takes more than money to make and keep a marriage.
 
May 13, 2006, 10:26 am CDT

The Institution of Marriage

It is been my observation that the "Institution of Marriage" has become our society's economic boom. In most cases by the time you are 50 years of age, you will have been married at least twice, divorced and broke.    

  

I believe the "institution of Marriage" is a billion dollar business annually, correct me if I am wrong?  

  

In most cases we come into this world as part of a family, as in my case.  As a child we know nothing about life and are influenced by our parents, more precisely our mother.  By the age of 10 our family had deteriorated and my mother blamed it all on my father, who am I to know any different?  

  

By the time I aged to the wipe old age of 22, my views had totally changed and it was my observation that it was my mother that destroyed our family and our society accepting all of her views and opinions left my father a broken man, ending up in an institution without the pleasure of ever seeing his two sons.  

  

I vowed to have the perfect marriage, married at the age of 23, divorced by the age of 28, with having assisting in producing two lovely, healthy children.  Really a strange situation, it was apparent that the woman I married was on a mission to destroy me!  

  

During the first year of our marriage I could not believe what I learned about her family history and the way her father beat on his wife.  I believe that the woman I married was committed to taking out her frustations that her father placed on her mother onto myself.  

  

I never remarried even though I did believe in the "institution of marriage", but I do not want to ever end up in an institution.  

  

I have not had the pleasure of my two children for over 25 years when the mother of my two children ran off to another part of our huge country.  Their last names have been changed and I have no idea where they are living. 

 
May 13, 2006, 10:34 am CDT

I don't understand????

 

I am one of the lucky ones.  I married at 19 and after 29 years together, this behavior is strange to me.  I am not a slave, nor is my husband my slave.  We are 2 people, joined as one.  If one of us are sick and unable to do, we take care of the other.  There are no demands!!!!!  I never accepted demands from anyone.  On the other hand, I have seen many women in these situations and I have to say, sometimes, not always, they start out in the marriage doing these things and then become tired after a couple kids and a couple years and try to stop suddenly.  They have to open up the communication doors first.  If the man loves his wife, he should stop being such a pig and making demands.  If he doesn't , well I'd question his "meaning" of love and cherishing his mate. 

 

Again, my husband, is one of a kind and he's not my equal, he's my soul partner and a part of me.  If one hurts, we both hurt.  Dang, I really adore him after all these years. 

 
May 13, 2006, 10:35 am CDT

I have a son-in-law

I have a son-in-law that sounds like this guy.  My daughter is not perfect, but she works and takes care of their two daughters and cooks and tries to clean.  She has no help in the house.  I advised her to  quit work and she could keep a clean house.  He works and does shift work but he can be off three days a week and never lift a hand around the house.  He treats her awful.  

I can't wait to see how it works out for this couple.  I hope she gets a backbone. 

 
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