Topic : 09/05 The Divorce Experiment

I spent 22 years married to a control freak. He was a locomotive engineer, and he brought his work home with him. He had to have all of us on his track, or else... 

There was a lot of abuse: verbal, emotional, physical, whatever it was we got it. Then there were times when he was kind and thoughtful  - to me, not the kids. He never said anything to them unless it was a negative browbeating, and he did that to me too.  

He would take us out for dinner, or go for ice cream, or be ready in 20 minutes, we're going to Florida!  He did have some good qualities about him but the negative behavior was prevalent. 

I never knew what to expect when he came through the door. I know what he expected - dinner on the table, kids washed up and sitting in their chairs, and me serving everyone. If he wanted something, I had to get it for him.   

Everything about our lives was run on a schedule, just like the train he engineered to take people to work every morning.  He knew exactly where his train should stop to pick up passengers, and he was precisely there. He could bring his train to a full stop without anyone feeling it stop, he was that smooth. He drove that way too. He took pride in his abilities, and he did teach me some common sense things about life.  

I don't know why I'm even writing this. I'm making him sound like Mr. Good Guy. But he wasn't. He was a nasty, potty mouth, "my way or the highway" controlling character assassin who left my kids and me with no identities.  We were just his freight cars that he carried behind him when he worked freight jobs. We had to follow him and do everything he told us to do. It's funny, he had more regard and respect for the trains than he did for us.  

Twenty two years after I said "I Do", I said "I can't anymore"  My kids all hated him and they were glad when we divorced. My youngest was 9 years old and he was the happiest of the 3. He was the best out of his brother and sister, but he was treated horribly.  

What it all boils down to is, we finally were on our own. The ex wouldn't let go tho. He called me everyday. He made sure he had his visitations with my daughter and son.  My son would call me from his father's house and beg me to come and bring him home. This had and still does, weigh heavily on my heart. My 9 year old baby boy, crying and sobbing and begging me to please, please come and get me. It makes me sick to think about him going through that much emotional pain. He didn't deserve it. His father would go on and on saying bad things about me, lies, to get my boy to choose him over me.  

I can't go on here anymore today. I hope I will be able to come back to it and add the rest of the story. 

I am a stay at home mother. I do believe that it is my job to stay busy around the home, it is a choice that we made together. 

However, if my husband ever treated me the way Greg treats Amy, I can GUARANTEE you that the house would be in shambles and he would have slop for dinner. That's what pigs get. I don't have a problem with his philosophy that if he works and she stays at home - she ought to do most of the chores at home. However, his attitude is just so unbelievable that I couldn't fathom wanting to sleep in bed with him - let alone, have sex with this man.  

I don't think he LEARNED A THING!  I just cannot believe someone would put up with such nonsense!!! 

I'm so glad you enjoyed this experiment as much as I did.  I have a wonderful husband and would never yell at him like I yelled at Greg, but someone has to stand up for the treatment of other human beings and I was proud to do it.  I would do the same thing if it were a woman treating her husband this way.  You sound like you have a good heart and I'm so proud of you for speaking out.  All people deserve to be treated with respect.  Thanks for your comments. 

Rebecca 

Here we have another example of someone being married and instead of kicking someone to the curb that is abusive and cruel. What is up with that? What kind of a message are parents sending their kids to say this person that they chose to marry and bring into their kid's life who is not deserving of being any kind of an influence in the first place is more important that the welfare of the child!?!?   

Parents! Your first obligation is to your innocent child! Why didn't Dr. Phil focus on that or at least address it so that this woman would see she made the wrong choice?  

How did you get to help Dr Phil with this "male chauvinist pig intervention"  

Thats what I'm talking about sweaty ....;;;) 

I've been let down by the message I wrote yesterday ..about today's show.....but I see that I'm not alone thks ....And keep it up .....;;;) 

I believe in marriage 100%....To make a story short .....NOT AT ANY PRICE ;)...There's so many things that could be worked on...hard but doable....but this NUT CASE I don't think so !!! 

Anyhow let's see how the show turns out todays....!!! 

Lily ;) 

I got a kick out of how this hubby thinks he does his wife's job better than her, even after his ordeal.  Well, brush up Buddy, 'cause you just might be doing it for yourself (including "romantic" duties) full time!