Topic : 09/05 The Divorce Experiment

Thank you so much for your post.  When I express this opinion anywhere outside my own head it's like I've suggested using babies as speed bumps.  All hell breaks loose.  The fact that this guy has a BAD personality doesn't negate that he has a good point about the division of labor in his and his wife's household.  

I am so pleased to read what you have to say.  All people want in life is to be loved and when you learn to love yourself that's when life is it's fullest.  No one---Man, woman or child should be treated like they are less than anyone else in this world.   Be strong. 

  

Rebecca 

I agree with you. If one is staying at home, then the bulk of the responsibilities related to the day-to-day operation of the home should be left to that person. Therein lies the problem though...I don't believe there are many women out there who have the luxury of being stay-at-home mom's, and yet they are still responsible for everything having to do with child-care, cooking and cleaning, while the husband mows the lawn and fixes the leaky faucet. And this is such an important thing in marriage -- to accomplish a fair division of labour. My grandparents had a strict division of labour on the farm and it worked beautifully. They were married for 62 years, until death did they part. It is this division of labour which I have quite successfully accomplished in my own relationship. While we each have our own sphere of influence, neither is granted higher status and both are greatly appreciated. Therein lies the problem with the guy on the show today, I think.

I... no. All I can say is that if he were *my* husband (which would NEVER happen) - he would be black and blue. I have no toleration for this crap.

You got that right!

I unfortunately see my ex-husband and Greg have alot in common.  I tried and tried for years to make our lives happy.  I got tired of trying to please my ex husband, and obviously it ended in divorce after 8 years of marriage.  I had dated my ex-husband for 2 years prior to that.  I should have know how he was going to be because he showed signs of the way he was.  We never lived together before we were married, so I did not get a real taste of how things would be.  He behaved just how Greg does.  Now, I think my ex knows how good he had it after being back out in the dating world again. I don't think his new girlfriend is quite as energetic as myself.  I was working full time & being a full time mom & continuing my education while we were married with absolutely no help from him.  My ex's new woman strolls out of bed about noonish and manages to attend college full time.  He can't be by himself, so this is what is he now stuck with.  I get a good chuckle out of it once in awhile. The good thing that came out of the whole thing, is that I think our divorce has made my ex be a better father.  That is a good thing.  

   

Now, 2 1/2 years later, I am engaged to the most amazing man I have ever met in my whole life.  He loves me for me & what I am.  Flaws and everything.  He participates in everything going on with my children's lives (he does not have kids of his own and does not want any because he says we need to concentrate on the 2 we have)...  How sweet.  He gets up every morning & has a cup of coffee fixed and any left over dishes done from the night before.  He appreciates EVERYTHING I do.  I could not be happier.  I have truly been blessed after so many years of sadness. I hope the same thing works out for Amy either starting new or if Greg can get past his issues.  

This guy has a very toxic personality and I doubt that he will change.  I have stayed with the same type of guy for 45 years, watched him destroy my son's spirit and mine and I contine to live with the regret that I was  so weak as to let it happen. Get out while you are young and still have a long life a head of you.  Blessings to you.

Surely she must've seen many aspects of this guy rearing their ugly little heads BEFORE they got married. 

  

As a dating couple, if you see signs of this nonsense - RUN AWAY before you tie the noose....er knot! 

Sounds like your journey of self-awareness began before this show aired, but it never hurts to have one's own thoughts and feelings mirrored in the experiences of another. Whatever your marital problems though, fear should never be an emotion one has to feel. If you do fear your husband, if you are being abused, then you need to leave, at least until this problem is resolved, if it can be. And while leaving is scary and difficult, staying is even more so. Just look at what has to be sacrificed to stay...you. And if you have children in this environment? I can't express to you how damaging this is to a child. I know, I was there. My heart goes out to you...

I am a stay at home mom of two wonderful little girls and no way will I change my role and how I do things in my home. I am married to a wonderful husband who loves and repsects me, his wife and comes home and gives me hugsa nd kisses and THANKS me for being the mom and mother that I am...........I clean, cook, do the laundry, take care of the girls, grocery shopping, and so muchm ore, myhusband works his job and comes home and not only does he greet his wife but he greets his children and ready for a fun filled evening................Most of the time, dinner is ready when he gets home but if it isn't, he pitches in and will help with something or he spends the time playing and hanging out with the girls while I am preparing dinner, and yes, sometimes he HELPS HIMSELF, such as today, My little one became really sicka nd I called hubby and asked him to take an early lunch and pick up my oldest from preschool and of course he did, he comes home and prepares himself some lunch as I am cleaning up puke! saturday, I was out with my mom celebrating mothers day with her and then the rest of the day, I was out with a friend, hanging out, haveing a good ole time and yep, hubby is home taking care of the girls, gave them breakfast AND lunch, took them tot he park, hung out with them and gave them their evening bathes and another meal and got them into bed and all was sound to sleep when I walked in the door.........I thanked him and his repsonse, 'I love my babies and I want to be with them', How awesome is he. Sunday was a Mothers day and we spent the day together, went out for a good lunch, came home, hung out and had leftovers for dinner and we had an awesome time together as a family.............................FAMILY, that is what we are, we love, respect and adore each other and no way on this green earth will we ever treat the other as if they are worthless peiece of meat. The past couple odf days, I have had been busy around the home, taking care of my family and not once has hubby complained about something not being done HIS way, you see, I am the one who is in charge of how things are when it comes to cleaning, cooking and doing laundry, and if my husband deos complain, well, 'I DON'T DO IT', I don't complain about his working and the over time and the late nights, therefore I deserve the same respect and believe me, he knows that I am a good wife and mother and as I believe that we teach people how to treat us, I for one will not be degraded by any one, I put upw ith crap growing up and I am certainly not gonna put up with it in my marriage, thank God I have a MAN who loves, respects and honors his wife and he gets some great rewards for being the husband that he is.....................Being married is about TWO People and when both are on the same page then life can be wonderful, myhusband works a 10 hour job, I work a 24/7 job, therefore I deserve the breaks that I get and believe me, hubby isn't complaining because, well,let's just say he is fullfilled in every aspect of our marriage......