Topic : 09/05 The Divorce Experiment

Most people don't understand the dynamics of domestic abuse. Unless you have been there, it's hard to understand why any man or woman would stay in such a relationship. They stay out of fear. Fear of finances, health insurance, embarassment. I could go on and on. Amy will now learn, grow and change. She will learn the reason she was accepting of Greg's behavior. Yes, Amy sent her daughter away. This was a safety move to protect her child. She was protecting her child the only way she felt she could at the time. When you are in an abusive relationship you act out of fear. You don't want to upset your abuser. Amy was trying to protect her daughter by sending her away. Possible she thought this would wake Greg up and he would change, enabling the child to return to Amy. In desperate times you make desperate decisions. Abuse is all crazy making. It matters not what your IQ or economic means, it's all crazy making. My ex held a position high within the federal government, made six figures, yet he abused all those he claimed to love. It crosses all social economic lines. And you know what? The higher the income, the less likely we are to admit it to anyone. Cut Amy a break. When you have been living in an abusive relationship you have almost no self esteem left, you are afraid to make any decision, let alone the right one. I didn't know what was right any longer. I just got through my days somehow. When the clock ticks closer to them arriving home, the more tense you become until you throw up.

We live in a day care society where people think we as parents don't know what we are doing with our children, there are many people who think we mothers should be out in the work force so others can teach and guide our children, well not this mommy, LOL. I won't even go into the details of what all my children know and how socialized they are but I will say that they are well balanced, smart little girls with a wonderful life and it isn't bcause they are in daycare. Kudos to you for being home with your chidlren, I personally believe a good parent can do better then the system and there is absolutely nothing wrong with us mothers staying home with our children and the person telling us to go get a job, well, she is clueless on what a good, healthy, stay at home mom does, My little ones have been sick and sleeping alot today and I am thankfult hat it is I, their mommy who was able to be home wioth them and I didn't have to ASK permission to be home and I didn't have to seek out a sitter to take care of them, I am their mommy and they need me, not some one else to come in and do my job which I count it a privelege to be able to stay home with my children, very rewarding and I don't miss too much because of what I do and for that I am thankful and it is nice to have a supportive husband who appreciates how good he has it and I am thankful that we are in agreement with how things are going in our home, unfortuante for people like Amy on he show, they are treated like worthless dirt and that is shameful, hopefully this husband changes for the sake of his marriage, we will see how much he really loves his wife and I can bet any one, that if he changes for the good, he will be more happier then he is now and will receive alot better welcome when he enters the door of his home after work, he will come home to a happy and cheerful wife and she will be doing even a better job then what she is doing now. Amazing on how attitude plays a part in our lives.....................................

 Did the pig-headed man have the "three wives" order him around yet?  Will that be aired on TV?  When?  I missed today's broadcast, but my friend told me it was my story indeed.    Thanks

What are you teaching your sons? Is it what you want them to learn? That women carry the burden and men can just be lazy and lie around the house? Make a new choice. Take your life back. Teach those boys that women are strong and can raise children alone. You can do it. I raised three children alone. The great compliment I have ever received came from my middle child. She told me one day that she had a better life with just mom, then most of her friends did with both parents in the home. There was nothing missing from my home. We were a family. We sat down to a cooked meal every night. We did everything every family does, only ours just had a mom. It was a great life. I miss it now that they are all grown and have families of their own. Good families too! It's not to late. Kick out Mr. Good for nothing and show your children what a strong, independent woman they have for a mom.

Self esteem comes from loving yourself. Amy will get hers back, Dr. Phil will see to it!

I'm so happy you have taken your life back! You don't miss him, you miss a relationship. And that's normal. We all want to be loved. Just remember, you miss being in a relationship, not him. Enjoy being able to come and go as you please. Go out with your girlfriends, take a class, volunteer, find you passion and enjoy it. Learn to love yourself and enjoy being with just you. Do one thing each day to take care of yourself, even if it's just a bubble bath. Congrats on getting a new life!

I just finished watching the show and I am so aggrivated with this guy I could spit nails.  This Greg fellow made the comment that he was "old-fashioned."  Well, I'm from Texas and my dad is a retired Baptist minister, so I tend to be about as old-fashioned as they get.  Someone needs to tell the little fella that just because he declares himself "King of the Castle" doesn't make it so.  Men who are lucky enough to actually claim that title only have it because their wives allow them to think it.  I've been a stay at home wife for a little over 4 years and my husband and I are expecting our first child this winter.  In all the time I've been home, it has been my honor and joy to care for my home and take care of all the "domestic" tasks.  That's one less thing that my husband has to worry about.  I do it becuase I love him and because I appreciate the fact that he works 12 hour days no matter what the weather. (Ah, the life of an oilfield worker...)  I don't do it because he demands it of me, but because I ENJOY it, which is how it should be.  And when my husband starts telling everyone that he's "King of the Castle", I just smile and nod because I know that he knows it wouldn't be that way without me.   Greg should be ashamed of himself  for Amy having to send her daughter away.  She shouldn't have to be separated from her child.  She needs to put him out with yesterday's trash and move on with her life.  He's not going to learn anything, and she's just causing herself more pain.  All she's doing is showing her daughter that it's acceptable to tolerate that kind of attitude from a man and she doesn't want her daughter with a man like Greg or Gary or whatever his name is.

BTW where in Utah are you? I'm in Draper. I used to live in Salt Lake City, in Rosepark.  I like to see a strong woman here! So many of my female neighbors are push overs...makes me sad.

I have very little respect for stay at home moms who can't keep house. I'm sorry but you are home all day it doesn't take 8 hours to keep a house clean. Yes there maybe times when it can't happen because you have a sick child at home or you yourself are sick. My husband and I work full time/shift work, have two kids that need to get to hockey, swimming, school sports, play dates  and yes we are lucky we share house chores(he's better at keeping the laundry up, but I do the shopping). We are always doing bits here and there. We don't always get the same days off so on our opposite days off we do a little cleaning  and prepare meals so when the other gets home they can relax. It doesn't always happen because yes stuff comes up or to be honest we just decided to veg that day. We don't get mad at each other because we all need a break once in a while but let me tell you it seldom does happen. Why? I'll tell you, we like the way it feels to come home to a clean house and a prepared meal. So it is our way of saying thanks I appreciate when you do this for me. I can see if you kept a clean house and prepared meals and your partner complaint or belittle you yes you have every reason to be frustrated and do do something about it, but not when he/she is coming home from work and having to do it. That's just not right.

I too am very happy with my life and I love that I get to be with my daughter all day. That she is being raised fully by her own parents. It takes sacrifice and hard work to do this but it's worth it to me.

I think one reason women like us sound haggarded and angry is because we are constanly on the defensive, especially on the internet, where people feel they can let loose on us and show their disgust/jealousy for our lifestyle choices. We hear these remarks, get defensive and then they turn around and tell us that we are complaining too much! I have seen this over and over again since I've been a sahm, and I've only been at it for 2 years. It drives me crazy! Get a person good and angry and then tell them that they aren't enjoying their life enough! GRRRR!

Yeah, I have my days where I am tired and I need time off. But people who work "real" jobs feel that way too! Somehow, I'm NOT ALLOWED to ever feel that way. I'm not EVER allowed to be burnt out now and then or bored by routine. Only people who punch time clocks are allowed that part of human nature.

Attitude DOES pay a HUGE part in life and my attitude 98% of the time is joy and fun. I get to see my daughter learn things and I get to organize my life the way I see fit.  That 2% when I'm not super happy and content get zero tolerence from some people and that is sad.

I'm sorry to hear your babes have been sick Jetta...that really sucks :( I hope they feel better soon.