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Topic : 05/17 Brandon Behind Bars

Number of Replies: 431
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, May 12, 2006, 10:06:38 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil revisits the story that captivated America. At 21 years of age, Brandon was immersed in drug addiction, prone to violent outbursts that scared his family and left them worried that wouldn’t live to see 22. Dr. Phil conducted an intervention and followed Brandon's roller coaster ride through treatment, relapse and the struggle to get back on his feet. After a year of sobriety, the last place his family expected to see Brandon was behind bars -- but, that's exactly where his disease has taken him. Does black tar heroin have a hold on him? Dr. Phil travels to Harris County Jail in Houston, Texas to find out. He also hears Brandon reveal how a drug addict beats the system. Plus, drug addiction affects not only the user, but the entire family. See the toll it's taking on Brandon’s family and on his parents' marriage. Join the discussion.

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May 13, 2006, 8:09 am CDT

Addiction hurts all

I really can really feel for this family, as a mother of a recovering heroin addict, I all to well know the emotions that this drug can put the whole family through. There is NOTHING I wouldn't or haven't done for my son, but as stated before in a pervious message, some are born addicts, whether it be food, drugs, alcohol, tobacco, whatever, I truely believe it is a personality trait that some carry. Addiction has the ability to turn loved one against loved one, mother against father, brother against sister, all in the quest of recovery. Some are luckier that others, and are able to get out before the addiction gains too much control, others like Brandon, and his family, have to live with the locking up, but this is not a cure for the addict either. Sometimes jail only teaches you how to be a better addict or criminal.  Addiction is a monster my family will fight daily, no matter how long my son has been clean, the scars will never go away, only fade.......
 
May 13, 2006, 8:13 am CDT

I'm sure...

that Brandon has a hard life, and has really tried to get help for himself. It's so sad to see him behind bars right now. I pray & hope that he'll get all the help he needs. Plus, if any of you are condemning him, then you're certainly no better. I will also pray for his family as well & hope that they can find the strength to pull through this.
 
May 13, 2006, 8:15 am CDT

pray for this young man

God Bless you Brandon, may you find the path most beneficial to you and your life. 

  

Dont give up, as long as he is living, there is reason to fight for him! 

  

Truely saddened, 

  

Well wisher! 

 
May 13, 2006, 8:17 am CDT

you should be ashamed

Quote From: zimexlady

I resent having to pay for this guy's upkeep and hope he does not settle down here in my neighborhood when he is released.  

You should be ashamed of yourself. I hope you stay put in that neighborhood, and never need any help yourself, what a disgrace to mankind! Shame on you!
 
May 13, 2006, 8:29 am CDT

oh my

brandon is in jail, that's so disappointing
 
May 13, 2006, 8:33 am CDT

Can relate

All anyone and Brandon's family can do is pray each day that he does 'help himself'.  No one can do it for him.  I have lost a 12 year marriage because of a drug addiction/alcohol that took over my husband.  I have been a long time trying to understand why ones do this to themselves and still can't comprehend it at all.  The person doing them does not seem to 'see' or 'feel' what they have done, it's the ones around them who suffer the most.  If only the ones like Brandon could come clean, see the light and realize how life can be so much better without those evils, but until they get the help, they won't.  It's a scary situation to love someone who decided to go that route and be fearful that the day may come that they may get the wrong stuff, take too much or commit suicide because they don't have any money to buy any more.  That's where it tears the ones around them apart and I am feeling just that.  I can relate to Brandon's parents and friends - you feel helpless and it does affect your own life so much.  It's sad but you have to detach yourself from it to save yourself.  I surely hope Brandon's parents do not let this hurt their marriage, this was not their choice for him, it was his own. 
 
May 13, 2006, 8:45 am CDT

Can relate

All anyone and Brandon's family can do is pray each day that he does 'help himself'.  No one can do it for him.  I have lost a 12 year marriage because of a drug addiction/alcohol that took over my husband.  I have been a long time trying to understand why ones do this to themselves and still can't comprehend it at all.  The person doing them does not seem to 'see' or 'feel' what they have done, it's the ones around them who suffer the most.  My husband has stolen from me, cheated on me, lied to me, hid things on me, did things just to hurt me, was sneaky, destroyed material things on me, total out of control actions, verbally abused me, threw things at me and spent what money we did have in our savings - he once was not this way, it's the drugs/alcohol that took the control of him. If only the ones like Brandon could come clean, see the light and realize how life can be so much better without those evils, but until they get the help, they won't realize how much of a better person too they can be.  I always thought of my husband as a strong man, but now I've found out he's not as strong as I thought he was, he couldn't say the word NO.  It's a scary situation to love someone who decided to go that route and be fearful that the day may come that they may get the wrong stuff, take too much or commit suicide because they don't have any money to buy any more.  That's where it tears the ones around them apart and I am feeling just that.  I can relate to Brandon's parents and friends - you feel helpless and it does affect your own life so much.  It's sad but you have to detach yourself from it to save yourself.  I surely hope Brandon's parents do not let this hurt their marriage, this was not their choice for him, it was his own. 
 
May 13, 2006, 9:09 am CDT

Addiction

My son became a heroin addict at 14 yr's old. He has been in and out of rehab 4 times. Right now he is in rehab again, but this time I took him not just to a rehab, I took him to a psy hospital. Hoping that just maybe they will be able to figure out the underlying problem that makes him keep going back to it.   

He is 27 years old now and I do not have the right to make him go, but his 4 yr relationship ended ( because of his addiction ) and he had no other place to go but home. I did the tough love thing and told him NO WAY till you get help.   

I know as many parents we take this on like it is our fault. I did him no favor's by caring this guilt around, all it did was give him something to use against me. I have been his best friend and his worst enemy. I have enabled him way too many times.   

In our little town, heroin is the drug of choice, it breaks my heart. I have seen so many young people take their own life because they could not break away and felt they had no other way. I have seen so many of them go to jail because of the bad decision they made well using.    

Like I said, we live in a small town, yet every rehab within a 120 miles know all about our little town because of the amount of heroin users we have here.    

I know as many parents the anger we feel towards the dealers and in general the system.    

This will get us no where.    

I have come to the point with my son, that this is the last time. I have stood by him , I held him in my arms as he went threw the pain of with drawls, I have sat up all night when he was so sick and took care of him. I have never gave up on him, but I am at the end of my rope and feel that if I don't stand my ground with him soon that he will always think that mommy will be there to " help" him. My other children have suffered way too much from his toxic behavior and feel that it is time to cut all ties.   

I was a single mom with three little ones to raise on my own, and not real healthy children at times.   

I was consumed many times with my other children.   

My son was born shortly after losing one child to crib death, so he became the focus of all my love. I did indeed spoil him and I have no regrets for it.    

Anyone that has ever lost a child understands completely how we react. I am not saying that it was the right thing, but it was a very emotional time for me and I did what I had to do.   

I know how hard it can be and my heart is with Brandon and his family.   

It will be a life long battle for all of them. I just take it one day at a time.......   

   

   

 
May 13, 2006, 9:25 am CDT

Brandon Your breaking My heart~

   i have a "Brandon" in My life too, most families do. only he is 42 years old. i use to (about a year and a half ago) pay his car insurance, for a car I BOUGHT! well, My husband and i,,, yes he had to suffer this w/Me. i paid for his groceries, booze, ciggarettes, gas, you name it big sister bought it! all his clothes, everything u can think of, anything he wanted. it hurt My marriage, did he care? HELL NO! one day i looked at him swimming in My pool, hanging out drinking (outside as i don't allow booze inside my house at all) having the time of his life while i cried thru the window. something happened, something "clicked" for Me and i knew i needed H E L P! not just for him, for ME! i went into counseling and am learning so much about both of us. i, on my own (the counsoler never todl me to do anything) why? if he killed hiself i could then blame her. i, on my own told him "NO MORE AND THIS TIME (as you can read i had said it many times) I MEAN IT, IT'S OVER! YOU AND I ARE OVER UNTIL YOU KNOCK ON MY DAMN DOOR READY TO GO TO REHAB!" i meant it then and i mean it now. We offered him one in Santa Barbara 68%, but hell no he wasn't going. him "face it I AM NEVER GETTING OFF DRUGS!" me "then stay the bleep away from ME, i am your SISTER AND I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH TO WACTH YOU DIE!" see i thought if i gave him all the "things" "toys" we didn't have growing up, the love my parents were unable to give,,, he'd change~ no, no, no it almost killed me! i went from 150 pounds to 210 pounds in a year! i have the picture's to prove it! i have since lost 20 pounds, the road isn't easy but i KNOW IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO! so if you see a "bumb" on the street, god forbid don't give them money! buy them a meal, they still need to eat. i don't feed my brother but will still feed anyone who is hungry (i know, i know, enabler) that is my heart, i can't help it. i do feel the need to show love to those who weren't blessed the way i have been, but i also think rewarding bad behavior only makes it worse. it's funny i had a rich friend say to me "i thought i saw u w/this bumb the other day sitting down talking w/him while he was eating but then i said no way, she'd had enough w/her brother" i said "you were right, it was me" i wanted to find out why this guy was on the street, they all have a story and i find thier lives intresting. when i see my brother i see a 3 year old little boy my father use to squirt down w/a high pressure hose, NOT A DRUG ADDICT! but the truth is,,, he is a DRUG ADDICT. a cop friend of mine told me "he is either gonna end out in jail or dead and your gonna end out alone if you dont tend to yor=ur marriage!" i thought, cold bastard! now i think he was being real with me and i thank him for it! my advice, no drinking, no drugs AT ALL! no matter what! i don't even want it around me. when we go to dinner and everyone drinks i say "no thank you" it's weird the pressure i have felt from ADULTS for NOT DRINKING! but i don't care, i see the damage it has brought into my family, never have i seen any GOOD come from either choice! so just say "NO to drugs" and "ALCOHOL" they forgot that part, it's just as bad. i pray for my brother and this young boy Brandon, see the cop friend of mine was right, now he's in jail.
 
May 13, 2006, 9:36 am CDT

this is what i say~

Quote From: tseelig

I have been struggling with my son since he was 12.  He will be 16 in a couple months and he knows how to play the game.  He is not using Heroin it's pot.  I know people think that it is not addictive, but I know better, he has stolen our money when we didn't have it to spare, he lies all the time, he gets violently angry when confronted, punching doors,walls, throwing things, destroying property, He only attends school 2 or 3 days a week, even though probation says he must go EVERY day, because of this he is currently in the 8th grade when he should be in the 11th.  He has been in residential treatment twice, but was unable to complete the second stay because I was laid off and lost my insurance.  He is charming and funny and popular, until he hears the words no.  He knows what to say to manipulate his way out of everything, my heart is breaking and I just don't understand the thought process, he just refuses to to follow anyone elses rules.  He will tell you to your face as  convincing as can be, but the minute you are out of site it's a free for all.  They don't have daycare for 15 year olds.  I have a 19 year old that is responsible and trustworthy.  I know that my 15 year old thinks we hate him, that we are out to get him, he may be right we are out to get him on the right path before it's too late.  My husband and I both have an extensive history of alcholics and addicts in our families and that scares me, I am terrified that my son will too end up in jail because he refuses to learn fom his mistakes.  He is making home a hell on earth, you never know what to expect.  My heart drops every time the phone rings.  It is so hard to get away from the drugs these days esspecially for teen and pre-teens, there are no after school programs like when I was young, I was shocked that at 12 years of age my son was taking xanax and dringking, he had tried heroin, cocaine,xtc, acid, mushrooms and god knows what else.  These were all given to him by other middle school children and I'm told some parents even gave my son drugs??? The drugs are everywhere, what can you do?  You can't be with your child 24/7?  

 "if your NOT ADDICTED,,, good then prove it, GET OFF THE POT!" i know Dr.s and lawyer's who smoke it and they all think We (in the real world don't know it) i have a friend and i say to him "aawwwww your stoned again" no one else will say they even know he is! one joint is as bad as 20 ciggarettes, i just read My Son's college report on pot. also, they r paranoid, so no wonder he thinks your "out to get him" this guy i know admitted to Me he thought his neighbors knew he smoked and were gonna turn him in! now that he doesn't smoke he sees how CRAZY he was! he paased them and would flip them off! i just found that part out! they had NO CLUE as to why he was doing it! he thought they could smell it (i bet they did) and were ready to turn him in! it is bad no matter what. go to church and maybe see if someone there is willing to come along side your Son (maybe a guy like 22) and talk w/him about changing his life and living a clean life. i tell my newphew's "hey there r some pretty Girls in church guys, you aint gonna find them in a bar!" i have seen lives change, through the right church! ck the church's out in your area first and you go for you,,, then get the whole family involved. Our Son is 23 and is proud to say he has never touched a drug in his life. i think the friendships he made in church kept him from doing bad things, i really do. i pray for you and your Son. just one person's advice
 
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