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Topic : 05/17 Brandon Behind Bars

Number of Replies: 431
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, May 12, 2006, 10:06:38 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil revisits the story that captivated America. At 21 years of age, Brandon was immersed in drug addiction, prone to violent outbursts that scared his family and left them worried that wouldn’t live to see 22. Dr. Phil conducted an intervention and followed Brandon's roller coaster ride through treatment, relapse and the struggle to get back on his feet. After a year of sobriety, the last place his family expected to see Brandon was behind bars -- but, that's exactly where his disease has taken him. Does black tar heroin have a hold on him? Dr. Phil travels to Harris County Jail in Houston, Texas to find out. He also hears Brandon reveal how a drug addict beats the system. Plus, drug addiction affects not only the user, but the entire family. See the toll it's taking on Brandon’s family and on his parents' marriage. Join the discussion.

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May 13, 2006, 11:46 am CDT

Take one day at a time

I can relate to Brandon,   

I am an addict. I just recently relapsed and I lost 18 months of clean time. I know how he feels. It is a day to day struggle sometimes. I wasn't balanced. I am going to school, I am a single parent and I am in a 12 step recovery program. I was doing so much that I was not putting me in my recovery first, and I have to. Brandon you can do this, by far it is not easy. I have a great support team. The rehab I was in, I keep in contact with them all of the time.  One thing I was told this past week, was I can stay sad, and upset about what I did, and if I stayed like that then I would continue to get high or I can stand up and look at what I did and accept what happened and move on. I choose to accept what I did and get back in my program and stay clean. This is a disease and it is up to us to fight it. No one else can do it for us. Our family and friends can be there to listen to us and help us through the bad times, however bottom line it is up to us. Good luck!! Let Go and Let God!!  

 
May 13, 2006, 11:59 am CDT

05/17 Brandon Behind Bars

Please remember that along the road to recovery there comes a time to realize that the term "drugs and alcohol" is too repetitive.  If you must state both then the correct term is alcohol and other drugs because alcohol IS a drug.  So when even the "healing" professions continue to use the term sobriety for addicts the message gets blurred and we still don't belong. This may not be the reason for his continued use, but it is a reason many addicts don't seek help until they accept being "clean and in recovery."  I will keep Brandon in my moments of silent meditation to HP.   

 
May 13, 2006, 12:20 pm CDT

Family needs support group, ie, Al Anon, etc.

I went thru this with my son and agree that there was nothing I could do to help him. That was 20 yrs. ago.  On the advice of a local judge, I joined the al anon group and they saved my life. Today, my son is drug free, I think, and on his own. He has set backs but generally is doing well.  I hope Brandon's family gets the help they need to learn to deal with Brandon and his addiction.
 
May 13, 2006, 12:31 pm CDT

Addiction is an illness

Putting addicts behind bars will not cure them...drugs are easier to get in prison than on the streets.  Imprisoning people with drug problems will just make them career criminals.  The drug laws in this country are archiac.
 
May 13, 2006, 1:00 pm CDT

USERS DESTROY LIVES BECAUSE OF THE CHOICES THEY MAKE

I hope that caught your eye because I am speaking from experience. No, I'm not the drug addict, my daughter is. Her drug of choice was ICE, Crystal Meth. Because of that choice, my life changed in the blink of an eye. Because of that choice, four precious little girls had their hearts ripped out and their lives as they knew it existed no more. They lost their Mother, their Father is in prison, they lost their paternal grandmother (She died), they lost the house they lived in, their dogs died, they lost their friends and the worst of all, they lost their spirits. They will have abandonment issues for the rest of their lives and for what? Because their parents CHOSE to use drugs? It wasn't the children's choice because they were babies at the time. Let's see, seven, five, four, and nine days old! How could it be their choice to use drugs? The seven year old saw it all. How many seven year olds learn how to "spy" on adults to see what they're doing, selling, & trying to be the adult in the house so she could protect her sisters? You tell me if that's right, you tell me if that's fair and then you tell me how your life sucks! These children have gone through more chaos, more upheavals, more destruction than most people ever have in their entire lives. 

 

I ended up adopting all five of my granddaughters and I was 51 years old at the time. Three years ago I had to take early retirement just to be able to stay home and watch them. Is that fair to me? These are supposedly my "Golden Years", but instead of traveling and seeing the world, I'm traveling to pick them up from school or take them to the doctors, to take them to the grocery store...have you ever tried taking five children by yourself to the store or to the emergency room because there is no one else to take care of them but you? I doubt it. Instead you travel to your drug dealer so you can "feel good". Someone cared enough about you Brandon to get you the help you needed and instead of being grateful, it went back to the same old pattern of abuse where it's all about you. That's basically what it comes down to.  

 

You see, I don't complain about adopting my granddaughters because the bottom line is I made the choice to be responsible for them when I said "Yes". I made that choice because I loved them. I don't consider it a sacrifice because I love them and because it wasn't their choice to lose their lives as they once had, they had no say in it whatsoever, my daughter, like you, did have that choice and who do you think suffered the most? You? Her? Hell No! It's your families, friends...it affects everyone around you. It's a domino effect yet some abusers say it's their life and they can do what they want. That may be true, but who suffers the consequences of your actions? I'm sure your family didn't sign up for this, but yet they have to go through pure hell because of what you did.  Your Mother needs to stop enabling you and get tough! I personally don't think you deserve to come out of prison. I think you need to take a hard look at your life and see what you have done to the people that love you most in this world. I don't believe drug addiction is a disease. I believe it is a choice one makes. You weren't born with a birth defect that would cause you to use drugs. It's choosing the easy way out. Instead of dealing with life's problems, you choose to drown them with alchohol or drugs. My Mother was an alcoholic, I have a brother who was a heroin addict, still is because once an addict, always an addict. By that I mean you have to stay sober for the rest of your life because all it takes is one time and you're hooked again. I could tell you some horror stories about my life growing up, but thank God I made the right choices to not follow in those footsteps. I don't blame my parents or society for what happened to me. Instead, I kept my faith in God, that He would get me through it and He has. I suppose He had to get me through it so I could be there for my girls. I'm looking out for them because their parents didn't. 

If I could say one thing to you Brandon it would be this, "IT'S NOT WORTH IT". You are so fortunate to have parents that love you, when many children die before the age of five because their parents abused them. You are strong & able bodied when others are confined to a wheelchair. Yet many of these people lead more productive lives than you do. Why is that?  

You knew what drugs did to your life and yet you chose to do it again. Why? Instead of taking that drug why didn't you pick up the phone and call someone? THAT would have been the better choice. Instead, you decided to take the easy way out for yourself. In your mind, the harder choice was the first. Because then you would be admitting that you still had a problem. Well guess what? YOU DO! It never goes away. The craving will always be there just like when you quit smoking. The urge is there when you smell another cigarette being lit. The easy way is to just take a hit. The hardest way is to turn and walk away. 

My daughter made the choice to not get treatment. That choice cost her her children. She got help after the fact. She relapsed once already, but denies it. She seems to be doing better but I can never trust her again. Did you hear that? NEVER. It used to be that when I saw my daughter my heart was filled with love and joy. Now I feel nothing. I don't feel love for her anymore. I can't even tell her that I love her because it's not what I feel. Why? Because there's too much pain, too much hurt and no trust. How can I? Everytime I let her back in, she tore my heart apart again. Is that what you want? You have the time to think about all of this. I'm just telling you what happened to my children, my grandchildren and myself. That's just one story. But I can tell you that there are thousands out there like me. Grandparents raising their children's children because of drugs. Do you know what I resent the most about my son & daughter? They took away the role in my life that I cherised the most, they took away my role as Grandma.  

I pray that you will realize how much the choices you have made have caused destruction not only in your own life, but in the lives of those around you as well. Let me tell you, it is nothing short of living a hell on earth and that is something I would not wish on anyone. 

 

In His Mercy, 

Barbara 

 

 
May 13, 2006, 3:01 pm CDT

Get a grip

Quote From: blsnover

Please don't do any more shows on this kid.  He is spoiled and has been given so many many breaks.  Dr Phil set him up with treatment, a spot on a television show, yadda yadda yadda.  I am very tired of seeing him and his enabling family.  The first time it was OK.  Then the 2nd time, it was trite, one more time and I just won't watch that episode.  Please give other people in trouble a chance to use Dr Phil's help and resources since  Brandon seems to keep failing.  The time spent on him, could be put to use on many others that will try and succeed.   

  

I have enjoyed just about every other Dr Phil show and realize you won't please all of the people all of the time.  My husband and I watch the show all the time and really thank God that we are not in some of the situations that are shown to us.  The shows hit a myriad of topics which is very nice indeed.  Dr Phil also shows a human side and having Robin on once in a while is great.  She is the darling of the show.  Kudos to the staff for doing such a wonderful job too.  The show could not be such a success without you.  I love the show.  It's well done and Dr Phil is so diplomatic (most of the time LOL).   The shows are well done and really hit on some very tough situations that are real and very painful.  Some of the episodes break my heart.  The one where the woman had anger issues (I know which one?), where she was beating her son and swearing even though he was pleading for her to stop.  The one where she hurt his knee..........  Couldn't sleep for 3 nights!  I hope the children are taken away until she has help and is more in control.  These things have to be exposed.  Keep up the good work and good luck to your further success! 

  

Cheers, 

Bret & Laura 

I feel continued follow-up shows are important in certain cases. I'm a recovering alcoholic/addict and understand what it takes to recover. It isn't easy. The community needs to learn about addiction and the consequences that go with it. I think you need to do some research into the matter of addiction, relapse and crime. I'm not excusing Brandon for what he's done. I'm glad he got the help he did, unfortunately he chose to take the wrong path after treatment. For myself, I worked very hard to get clean and sober and still work very hard to stay that way. I deal with past and present issues on a daily basis. Some days are very difficult, where other days go by without a hitch. There is a right way and wrong way to deal with these issues, and this is what I constantly struggle with. This is why follow-ups on this topic are so important and it is important that the community know and understand addiction. You have the right to your opinion and I've given you the reasons why I've chosen to disagree with you. Good luck with your search and goals in life.
 
May 13, 2006, 3:04 pm CDT

Brandon Behind Bars

Quote From: bazzybunch

I hope that caught your eye because I am speaking from experience. No, I'm not the drug addict, my daughter is. Her drug of choice was ICE, Crystal Meth. Because of that choice, my life changed in the blink of an eye. Because of that choice, four precious little girls had their hearts ripped out and their lives as they knew it existed no more. They lost their Mother, their Father is in prison, they lost their paternal grandmother (She died), they lost the house they lived in, their dogs died, they lost their friends and the worst of all, they lost their spirits. They will have abandonment issues for the rest of their lives and for what? Because their parents CHOSE to use drugs? It wasn't the children's choice because they were babies at the time. Let's see, seven, five, four, and nine days old! How could it be their choice to use drugs? The seven year old saw it all. How many seven year olds learn how to "spy" on adults to see what they're doing, selling, & trying to be the adult in the house so she could protect her sisters? You tell me if that's right, you tell me if that's fair and then you tell me how your life sucks! These children have gone through more chaos, more upheavals, more destruction than most people ever have in their entire lives. 

 

I ended up adopting all five of my granddaughters and I was 51 years old at the time. Three years ago I had to take early retirement just to be able to stay home and watch them. Is that fair to me? These are supposedly my "Golden Years", but instead of traveling and seeing the world, I'm traveling to pick them up from school or take them to the doctors, to take them to the grocery store...have you ever tried taking five children by yourself to the store or to the emergency room because there is no one else to take care of them but you? I doubt it. Instead you travel to your drug dealer so you can "feel good". Someone cared enough about you Brandon to get you the help you needed and instead of being grateful, it went back to the same old pattern of abuse where it's all about you. That's basically what it comes down to.  

 

You see, I don't complain about adopting my granddaughters because the bottom line is I made the choice to be responsible for them when I said "Yes". I made that choice because I loved them. I don't consider it a sacrifice because I love them and because it wasn't their choice to lose their lives as they once had, they had no say in it whatsoever, my daughter, like you, did have that choice and who do you think suffered the most? You? Her? Hell No! It's your families, friends...it affects everyone around you. It's a domino effect yet some abusers say it's their life and they can do what they want. That may be true, but who suffers the consequences of your actions? I'm sure your family didn't sign up for this, but yet they have to go through pure hell because of what you did.  Your Mother needs to stop enabling you and get tough! I personally don't think you deserve to come out of prison. I think you need to take a hard look at your life and see what you have done to the people that love you most in this world. I don't believe drug addiction is a disease. I believe it is a choice one makes. You weren't born with a birth defect that would cause you to use drugs. It's choosing the easy way out. Instead of dealing with life's problems, you choose to drown them with alchohol or drugs. My Mother was an alcoholic, I have a brother who was a heroin addict, still is because once an addict, always an addict. By that I mean you have to stay sober for the rest of your life because all it takes is one time and you're hooked again. I could tell you some horror stories about my life growing up, but thank God I made the right choices to not follow in those footsteps. I don't blame my parents or society for what happened to me. Instead, I kept my faith in God, that He would get me through it and He has. I suppose He had to get me through it so I could be there for my girls. I'm looking out for them because their parents didn't. 

If I could say one thing to you Brandon it would be this, "IT'S NOT WORTH IT". You are so fortunate to have parents that love you, when many children die before the age of five because their parents abused them. You are strong & able bodied when others are confined to a wheelchair. Yet many of these people lead more productive lives than you do. Why is that?  

You knew what drugs did to your life and yet you chose to do it again. Why? Instead of taking that drug why didn't you pick up the phone and call someone? THAT would have been the better choice. Instead, you decided to take the easy way out for yourself. In your mind, the harder choice was the first. Because then you would be admitting that you still had a problem. Well guess what? YOU DO! It never goes away. The craving will always be there just like when you quit smoking. The urge is there when you smell another cigarette being lit. The easy way is to just take a hit. The hardest way is to turn and walk away. 

My daughter made the choice to not get treatment. That choice cost her her children. She got help after the fact. She relapsed once already, but denies it. She seems to be doing better but I can never trust her again. Did you hear that? NEVER. It used to be that when I saw my daughter my heart was filled with love and joy. Now I feel nothing. I don't feel love for her anymore. I can't even tell her that I love her because it's not what I feel. Why? Because there's too much pain, too much hurt and no trust. How can I? Everytime I let her back in, she tore my heart apart again. Is that what you want? You have the time to think about all of this. I'm just telling you what happened to my children, my grandchildren and myself. That's just one story. But I can tell you that there are thousands out there like me. Grandparents raising their children's children because of drugs. Do you know what I resent the most about my son & daughter? They took away the role in my life that I cherised the most, they took away my role as Grandma.  

I pray that you will realize how much the choices you have made have caused destruction not only in your own life, but in the lives of those around you as well. Let me tell you, it is nothing short of living a hell on earth and that is something I would not wish on anyone. 

 

In His Mercy, 

Barbara 

 

     I have been where your parents are,  I am the mother of 2 drug addict sons.......I lost my 35 yr old, Nov, 2004........My 39 yr old is hooked on crack cocaine, lost his home, wife, children, however that was by his choice........he's a coward, it's easy to stay on the streets & keep using.......I have been his chief enabler, I give him money for food, cig's, a motel room, & have paid his fines, court costs, lawyers & anything else he needs........I realized "today" that I am part of the problem, not the solution......Actually, I am worn out, because this drug has taken over my entire life.......I am keeping this addcit alive in his addiction, "why" becasue I think it's '''love your son" don't ever stop being his mother, his friend........guess what Brandon, you & my son, have no-one in your lives anymore that mean more to you than the drug.......don't get clean, because it will make Dr. Phil happy & your parents....do it to regain your self respect back, you are a child of God, he loves you, chose life, chose love,  I will pray for you.......... 

 
May 13, 2006, 3:07 pm CDT

Boo Hoo

I am so tired of hearing how these drug addicts are "sick" and "can't help  themselves".   You do have a choice to  smoke that joint, or take those pills, or put that needle in your arm.   Unless you have been living in a cave your whole life,  everyone knows drugs are bad news.   When you choose to do drugs, you run the risk of becomming an adict.  To say it is an illness belittles people who truly suffer from an illness.  You choose to do heroin, you don't choose to get cancer.  Lock the druggies up and throw away the key.  I don't want any more of my tax money funding the treatments for these "sick" people.
 
May 13, 2006, 3:10 pm CDT

I was very disappointed

I was so very disappointed to hear Brandon had again started using.  I had so much hope for his recovery.  I don't believe prison is the place to send addicts, but there isn't much choice out there.  As I too have a son that has an addiction, and when he tried to turn himself in for drug trreatment, they basically told him that he had to go to jail before he could get into a treatment facility.  They told him he would pay up to $600.00 a day if he were to commit himself.  We don't have that kind of money, so it is almost worth calling the police, just to get him some help.  As for Brandon, you had someone willing to help you and you just dismissed it like it was nothing.  I only hope that someone will step up to help my son before it is too late.  I am so afraid he will either die of an overdose orhurt himself because after he gets high, he hates himself.  So please Brandon, take the help and stay focused.  God Bless and best of luck to you.
 
May 13, 2006, 3:34 pm CDT

glad to hear update

I am so happy to hear an update on Brandon although I am so sorry to hear it isnt good.Everyone has  some kind of story  that touches them and this one is one that I would like to see on a continuing basis.Maybe every 6-12 months until we know he's all better. 

  Also am looking forward to update on Marty ,Erin and their family. 

Would like to have update on Ed and Kandi.(the doctor who got another woman pregnant) 

 
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