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Topic : Dealing with the Added Stress

Number of Replies: 159
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Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 12:57:33 pm
Author : dataimport
"Having a new baby really has added stress to my life." Sound familiar? Tell us your story.

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June 7, 2006, 11:38 pm CDT

Dealing with the Added Stress

Quote From: arisher

I'm a new mother of a 3 week old baby.  I've got a servere case of the baby blues. She cries all the time and I find myself either almost losing my temper or completely shutting down. I was on anti-anxiety meds, but the doctor doesn't want me on them due to the unknown side effects to the baby, so I'm trying to deal without them. My darling husband works all day and helps as much as he can at night, but it doesn't help. My mother doesn't seem to really care about what's going on and his mom does so much I hate to ask for more. So here I sit in tears with a screaming baby. I've tried every possible solution to help her. I'm afraid she hates me. Please help with advise. Thanks.

Firstly let me start by saying well done - you have taken the first step in asking for help.  I am a mother of a 3 year old son, a 2 year old daughter and am expecting our 3rd baby in December.  When my son was a month old he cried for three days straight, only sleeping in 10 minute cycles when he was feeding.  I remember how lost I felt, on the third night at 3am I felt like I was the only person awake in the whold world.  I cried for almost an hour  thinking over and over, how am I going to do this, I am the worlds worst mum!  Most mothers will tell you at one stage or another we have all felt like this.   

Your little girl doesnt hate you - and deep down you know that she loves you more than anything else in the world.  Crying is the only way she knows how to commumicate.  I'm no doctor but it sounds to me like she has colic.  Try taking her to a doctor just to make sure everything is ok with her.  And you need to see someone as well. Get a second opinion on the meds, they might just have to switch them or something.  Also sleep when she sleeps.  I know it sometimes feels like they never do, and there is always something that needs doing around the house, but take time out.  I learnt the hard way.  With my son, I tried to be superwoman and ended up running myself into the ground.  My mother is very uninvolved too, your mother in law sounds good though.  Can you talk to her about how your feeling?  I'm sure she wouldnt mind helping out some more.  She might even be gratefull to spend some one on one time with her granddaughter while you get some much deserved rest.  I check the boards almost everyday, if you ever need to talk just post. 

 
June 13, 2006, 12:04 pm CDT

Dealing with the Added Stress

Quote From: arisher

I'm a new mother of a 3 week old baby.  I've got a servere case of the baby blues. She cries all the time and I find myself either almost losing my temper or completely shutting down. I was on anti-anxiety meds, but the doctor doesn't want me on them due to the unknown side effects to the baby, so I'm trying to deal without them. My darling husband works all day and helps as much as he can at night, but it doesn't help. My mother doesn't seem to really care about what's going on and his mom does so much I hate to ask for more. So here I sit in tears with a screaming baby. I've tried every possible solution to help her. I'm afraid she hates me. Please help with advise. Thanks.
 I know exactly how you feel. I am the mother of 3 year old twins. When I brought them home from the hospital i was all alone, and never had any help. They cried al the time and i also felt like they hated me. I was miserable. I never wanted to get out of bed or have a shower or even eat. I felt alone and so depressed. But one day i woke up and realized that i was all they had, that they depended on me, and couldn't live without me. Slowly, one day at a time I felt better, felt more like i was needed, and loved. I have never told anyone about how i used to feel. How i used to regret having my children. But now i look at them and see that they are the best thing that ever happened to me. It might seem really bad right now but I promise you that your baby loves you more than you can possibly realize. you are the reason he/she is in this world. Everything will work itself out, i promise you this.
If you ever need to talk to someone about it, i've been there, i know what you're going through.
You can mail me  kasslvsbeau@yahoo.ca
Everything is going to be great. Just wait you'll see!
I hope this helps even just a little bit.
 
June 14, 2006, 2:44 pm CDT

Understanding

Quote From: hunicksmom

I have 2 children, both boys, one will be 2 in August and one just turned 6 months old. Hunter, the oldest, Is already in his terrible two's!! He's constantly testing me and my fiance! He throws things at the baby and takes his toys from him! It's not like we let him get away with these things! The baby, Nicholas, is teething, of course! He hasn't broken one through yet, so getting him to sleep is an all night job! I have heart problems and my appointment in the Cleveland Clinic isn't for another month and a half! So, on top of my heart and working full time, cleaning the house and doing laundry, I'm expected to chase after Hunter and take care of screaming, teething Nicholas!!!! I just keep saying I can't wait until they are in kindergarten!!!!!!! I love love love being a mom and I feel that I was put on this earth to be one, but at times, I just don't know how I'm going to get through another day!! Does anyone else ever feel like that? I don't want to feel like a bad mom for not spending every second with my kids, but when do I get me time? I do when they go to bed, but then I'm normally so pooped, I just crash too!!!!
 I know how you feel I have 2 little girls. Taylah 2 months and Shiloh is 20 months . Shiloh is in her terrible two's . I hate it but it is a stage. Taylah has tummy problems and cries alot . Somedays I swear all I get done is holding her. When she was 9 days old Shiloh throw a board book and hit Taylah. The other  day she threw a peek a boo ball and hit her again. It is hard to make them understand. My husband works 10 hour days so when he gets home he doesn't really want to help he would rather go outside and work or be on the computer.  We give Shiloh teething tablets through out the day for her teething and they really help. I can't wait for them to go to sleep but then I feel guilty that I should be spending time with him. By Friday I feel like a zombie.
 
June 14, 2006, 4:28 pm CDT

Just a hint

Quote From: roxability

My baby girl is now 2 1/2 months old.  She has stayed up until 1am-3am nearly every night of her life.  I wish I knew what to do, I would just be so happy if she would go to bed even by 11pm!  For that I would feel blessed.  People tend to think, by the time baby is 2 months old, I should be doing great now.  I am more tired now then I was to begin with.  It seems every week I get more sleepy.  I never have an ounce of me time, because by the time she goes to sleep, I have to do the same.  Has anyone else had this hard of a time!  

 Have you had her checked for acid reflux. Both my girls have or have had it and they were hard to get to sleep and stay asleep. They sleep with the crib mattress at an angle or in a swing or bouncer. All else fails in our arms in a chair on really bad nights. But it does get better. I think we own stock in pepcid and tummy medicine.
 
June 15, 2006, 11:06 pm CDT

Dealing with the Added Stress

Quote From: shilohsmom

 Have you had her checked for acid reflux. Both my girls have or have had it and they were hard to get to sleep and stay asleep. They sleep with the crib mattress at an angle or in a swing or bouncer. All else fails in our arms in a chair on really bad nights. But it does get better. I think we own stock in pepcid and tummy medicine.
Thanks for the suggestion.  I finally worked on a pacifier, it took about three nights.  I had to keep putting that thing back in her mouth!  She would fuss about it, but she really did like it.  Finally after about an hour she would fall asleep, and out the pacifier pops for the night.  I am now getting her to sleep between 11 and 12 usually. That is so much better then 3am!  This pacifier has become a life saving tool.  There were some nights I really wasn't sure I could handle her.  It is just me and my 13 year old daughter, so I do it on my own, making sure I spend quality time with my older daughter as well.  It is tough at times, but is so much easier with the aid of a small item, the pacifier.  I love the person that invented that!  Anyway, thanks again, hope pepcid appreciates your support!
 
June 15, 2006, 11:25 pm CDT

Dealing with the Added Stress

Quote From: arisher

I'm a new mother of a 3 week old baby.  I've got a servere case of the baby blues. She cries all the time and I find myself either almost losing my temper or completely shutting down. I was on anti-anxiety meds, but the doctor doesn't want me on them due to the unknown side effects to the baby, so I'm trying to deal without them. My darling husband works all day and helps as much as he can at night, but it doesn't help. My mother doesn't seem to really care about what's going on and his mom does so much I hate to ask for more. So here I sit in tears with a screaming baby. I've tried every possible solution to help her. I'm afraid she hates me. Please help with advise. Thanks.
Hi!  I too went off of my anti-depressants when I became pregnant last June (05).  Shortly after I became one of the most miserable human beings on earth.  I felt that way, and I'm quite certain everyone in my path felt the same way about me.  It was awful!  I tried to deal with it.  Finally my doctor suggested going back on prozac, only at half the amount I had been taking.  This brought my dosage down to 10 miligrams per day, though I usually only took it about four days a week.  I felt so much relief a few weeks later!  I am still taking the 10 milligrams, my daughter is 3 mo. old now, and yes, I'm breastfeeding.  I havn't seen any effects in my baby.  You might discuss this with your doctor, maybe a low dose would work for you.  I honestly don't think I could have handled my baby's sleep problems without my medication.  I barely handled it with the medication!  Good luck to you!
 
July 17, 2006, 8:06 am CDT

mother of multiples

I am a first time mother and I have a set of 7 months old triplets.  Does anyone out there have a set of triplets or multiples and know what I am going through?  I love being a mother and taking care of them.  The work is hard but the rewards immense.  My husband helps me in the evening - thank God for him and his help!  The problem I am encountering is when my husband and I try to live our lives and take our little ones out in public.  People won't leave us alone and want to always be in our babies faces. We understand that triplets are unique; however, we would like to be able to get through a meal without people continuously interrupting us.  Are we destined to be "pestered" for the rest of our lives?  People want to take pictures, hold them and touch them.  They want information about  their weights, how long they were in utero, their names, their sexes, if the kids are mine, information concerning prematurity and their conception.  Do people have no manners any more?  We politely decline and ask them not to approach the babies.  Unfortunately, people believe them to be public property and are rude , and in some cases, down right mean concerning our requests.  How do other mothers of multiples handle these situations? 
 
July 21, 2006, 1:37 pm CDT

A lot better!

Wow. My baby is now 2 months old. I cannot believe the difference. She started sleeping through the night a month ago and continues to sleep from 11pm to 7am. I'm amazed. Thank you for your help. I feel alive. I didn't believe it could get better and it did! She now smiles and laughs at me and we've finally bonded. I just wanted to say Thank You.
 
July 21, 2006, 1:46 pm CDT

Dealing with the Added Stress

Quote From: roxability

Hi!  I too went off of my anti-depressants when I became pregnant last June (05).  Shortly after I became one of the most miserable human beings on earth.  I felt that way, and I'm quite certain everyone in my path felt the same way about me.  It was awful!  I tried to deal with it.  Finally my doctor suggested going back on prozac, only at half the amount I had been taking.  This brought my dosage down to 10 miligrams per day, though I usually only took it about four days a week.  I felt so much relief a few weeks later!  I am still taking the 10 milligrams, my daughter is 3 mo. old now, and yes, I'm breastfeeding.  I havn't seen any effects in my baby.  You might discuss this with your doctor, maybe a low dose would work for you.  I honestly don't think I could have handled my baby's sleep problems without my medication.  I barely handled it with the medication!  Good luck to you!

Dear new Mom of 3 week old baby,  

  

I have two children now, my baby is 9 months and my oldest 2-1/2 years old. When we become new mothers, our worlds are turned upside down. It's a big adjustment transitioning into motherhood. I read a book called BABYWISE. It provided me a foundation and a "clue" as to what to expect. Don't take it so literal as a lot of people do, realize its techniques are about being "flexible" to the baby's and  your situation.  

  

ENJOY your new baby. There are one of three reasons why they cry: wet diaper, hungry, or fever. If none of the three exist, the baby may need to be held and/or walked around and talked to. Babies just sometimes cry. If your baby is being fed formula, that could be a culprit.  

  

Don't wish this precious time away. They don't stay small for very long. Just realize, your life now revolves around your baby - because you are your baby's world!  

  

Keep us informed of how it's going.  

  

  

 
July 21, 2006, 1:52 pm CDT

Dealing with the Added Stress

Quote From: dadinneed

Hi, Im Daniel I had the exact same problem out of my son, Jessie, when he was first born.  His mom didnt bother to get up with him , so it was all up to me.  For a long time, he didnt wantt o go to bed, and when he did, it wasnt for long.  I will tell you what I did with him, though I cant say every child is the same.  Right before I laid him down to bed, I fed him some baby food, not much, just one small jar, then a 4 oz bottle, it took a few nights, but I eventually got to get him to sleep from 2 hrs to 6 hours.  Allowing me for a much better rest.  Also, If your child cries, after they have been fed, changed and burped, it is healthy and alright to let your child cry themselves to sleep.  This is not inhumane nda teaches them at an early age to go to bed on their own.  It only took two night sfor my son to go to bed like this.  And I got the tip from Nanny 911.  Try that and see if it helps...Good luck, Daniel
Roxanne, it's part of motherhood! It will get better. Be patient. I even went as far as holding my baby and sleeping with her upright. No... our pediatrician didn't like hearing me say this, but this is what I did to help her get on a regular sleep schedule. Swaddling may be another solution, however, your 2-1/2 month old may not want to be swaddled at this age. Hang in there!!!!! 
 
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