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Topic : Dealing with the Added Stress

Number of Replies: 159
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Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 12:57:33 pm
Author : dataimport
"Having a new baby really has added stress to my life." Sound familiar? Tell us your story.

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April 25, 2006, 4:26 pm CDT

Dealing with the Added Stress

Quote From: meaghert

i only have one child and it is hard. i could not emagine having two. my daughter is one month old. i'm a stay at home mom too. i don't get out much either. everyday i plan to go to the park for a walk and everyday i just dont make it. i'm lucky if i get a hot meal and a shower.  i feel isolated too sometimes. i don't have anyone around me with a young baby. i try to talk to friends and family about the struggles and the stress that i deal with, but they must have all forgotten what it is like to have a newborn. also, i'm breastfeeding, and i get alot of crap for it. some people act like if i would just bottle feed my baby all of the stresses and obsticals of motherhood would just magically disapear. i don't think that they realize that, breast or bottle, i still have to get up in the middle of the night to feed, still have to hold a crying baby while my food gets cold, and many other things that i have to deal with that have nothing to do with my method of feeding. or sometimes they just act like your over reacting. it makes me feel better to know that i'm not the only one that feels this way or sometimes gets overwelmed by it all too. 

  

  

your not the only one who feels that way i have a 4 yr old and a3 month old i eat my dinner cold almost every night my boyfriend of 8 yrs tells me to deal with it that it's my job i  try to go to the park and never make it there  all the stress is crazy so your not the only one
 
April 28, 2006, 2:53 pm CDT

Dealing with the Added Stress

Quote From: tanyat117

In October 2004 I had my first baby; a little boy.  I was so happy to be pregnant, I had an easy time of it and taking care of our son came really easy to my husband and I.  3 months later I found myself pregnant again.  I wanted to start trying for number 2 when my son turned one.  I never dreamed I'd have the second one 6 days after my son's first birthday.  Now my son is 17 months and my daughter is 5 months.  I love what I do and I feel so guilty that I feel over whelmed sometimes.  I feel like if I complain about how hard it is, that I convey the message that I don't love my kids somehow.  I feel bad that I want to pull my hair our when my son is having a tantrum or break down in tears when both my children are screaming at the same time, both wanting my attention.  

  

When I envisioned being a stay at home mom, I didn't imagine how lonely it would be, or how isolated I would feel.  I thought I'd make lots of friends at the playground now that I had kids.  But the truth is, instead of feeling comradery, I feel disconnected from the world.  The same old routine day after day has made me feel like I'm stuck in a rut, instead of feeling like I'm contributing to the world. 

  

Because my kids are so young it's hard to try to get out of the house alone.  I have these 2 babies, a double stroller, a diaper bag overflowing with diapers, wipes, snacks, formula, bottles, sippy cups..etc, etc..by the time I try to get somewhere I have enough "survival" stuff to keep us going for a couple of weeks!  I tried to go to the mall alone one day with the kids.  What a disaster!  My daughter cried the whole time, and my son was so whiny from having to sit in the stroller that all I could do was clench my teeth together while I said to him "WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?"  Then on top of being stressed out I had to use the bathroom and there were NO handicapped stalls...so I had to pee with door open so that I could keep an eye on my kids in the stroller.   By the time I left, I was sweating profusely, thinking to myself, I can never do this again!  So my days are then isolated to the house, looking at these same walls,  and in between making bottles, changing diapers, feedings, watching The Wiggles 10 times a day, all while trying to enjoy the babies that I have and secretly hoping I get through this part without going crazy! 

  

The bottom line is that I love my children more than I ever thought I could love anyone.  I feel so blessed to have these litle creatures in my life.  And they are so beautiful that my heart melts when I look at them. They are so innocent and precious and we're so lucky to have them.  But why does staying at home and taking care of them feel like an endless rerun of "Groundhog's Day"? 

  It's frustrating to stay home with little ones all day every day. I have two children, one 2 and a half, and one eleven months. It used to be a nightmare to take them to any store. I used a Baby bjorn, any baby carrier will do, with my daughter wehn we went somewhere, and she did a lot better in the stores. she just likes to be held, but sometimes it's exhausting. But, I realized that if I make an effort to get out once a day, even if it's a walk around the block it helps me not to feel so trapped. Try one day to walk around the park- let your son play on the toys and hold your daughter, another day go somewhere else.If you make an effort to get out, it will get easier, and your children will probably enjoy the change of scenery. It is very difficult to take care of babies so close in age, jsut hang in there and it will get a little easier as they get older. Good luckl!
 
April 30, 2006, 9:33 pm CDT

Number three is on the way

Hello to everyone out there.  I've been reading some of your posts and had the urge to say something.  I have two children.  A son, aged 5, and a daughter, aged 2.  My husband and I are expecting our third child in August.  This pregnancy was unexpected, but we are totally THRILLED.  I am a stay at home mum and can't wait to enjoy the company of this new life headed our way.  I know I'll be busy, but I try to get to my parents house at least once a week.  They are my way of staying sane (ha! ha!).  My Dad loves to spend time with his grandkids and it gives me a break for a while, even if they are still with me.  I can have a "grown-up" conversation with my mum.  I'm hoping the added stress of another mouth to feed won't be too much for me to handle.
 
May 1, 2006, 7:08 am CDT

New Mom

 I had my first child last year in August she came on her due date.I'm a stay at home mom while my husband goes to work and College.I get frustrated alot when he barely helps me out  with our beautiful 8 month old girl.She is our world now.We moved for North Carolina to Fl, when she was 2 months old. I don't have the motivation to make friends down here and I'm not sure why.I left my family behind and live near his now.We fuss alot But I wouldn't give him or our daughter up for anything I love them both.Can anyone help me out on how to get myself out to make friends.I think that he thinks sometimes I resint him for us moving here.but I don't I love it here its beautiful.
 
May 2, 2006, 3:21 am CDT

What sort of things do you like to do?

Quote From: sam001

 I had my first child last year in August she came on her due date.I'm a stay at home mom while my husband goes to work and College.I get frustrated alot when he barely helps me out  with our beautiful 8 month old girl.She is our world now.We moved for North Carolina to Fl, when she was 2 months old. I don't have the motivation to make friends down here and I'm not sure why.I left my family behind and live near his now.We fuss alot But I wouldn't give him or our daughter up for anything I love them both.Can anyone help me out on how to get myself out to make friends.I think that he thinks sometimes I resint him for us moving here.but I don't I love it here its beautiful.

Is there a mother's group anywhere near your area?  They can give you the sort of companionship that you might be looking for.  Or maybe try a craft group.  With such a young daughter, you could time these things around her naps.  Have you met the neighbours?  That's how I met some people who are now really close friends of ours.  Plus they have a son only two years younger than mine and now they are friends as well.  

   

I hope some of this helps you?  Try not to give up.  You never know where you'll find the best of friends.  They could be just next door.  

 
May 2, 2006, 9:12 pm CDT

I completely understand

Quote From: tallmom

  It's frustrating to stay home with little ones all day every day. I have two children, one 2 and a half, and one eleven months. It used to be a nightmare to take them to any store. I used a Baby bjorn, any baby carrier will do, with my daughter wehn we went somewhere, and she did a lot better in the stores. she just likes to be held, but sometimes it's exhausting. But, I realized that if I make an effort to get out once a day, even if it's a walk around the block it helps me not to feel so trapped. Try one day to walk around the park- let your son play on the toys and hold your daughter, another day go somewhere else.If you make an effort to get out, it will get easier, and your children will probably enjoy the change of scenery. It is very difficult to take care of babies so close in age, jsut hang in there and it will get a little easier as they get older. Good luckl!

  I have one daughter who is almost 11 months old and she is a ball of energy. Taking her out for a day is like travelling across the country. I have the diaper bag (which by the way is getting bigger the older she gets) filled with toys, extra outfits, wipes, more toys, medicines, cheerios, baby mum-mums...etc, etc, etc. Then I have a lunch bag with an ice pack and her bottles, and her sippy cup with her daily juice or water. Then the blankets, and the extra toys, etc. etc. etc. Not to mention my wallet, keys, stroller. It's amazing I remember to take my blood pressure meds in the morning. Forget the days staying in, if I'm not on the floor playing with her, I'm on the floor, cleaning up pieces of food! But let's admit it, no matter the level of frustration, the endless crying (maybe not the baby) The dealing with husbands, Children are fantastic. My daughter is a miracle. My husband and I lost our first daughter at 7 months pregnant, and I was told that with my health I'd never be able to conceive naturally, and if I did get pregnant it was next to impossible that I'd carry to full term. Well my little angel was born 6 weeks early at a healthy 6lbs5ounzes and no complications whatsoever, so Despite my exhaustion, my constant stress and my life being upside down I wouldn't change it for the world.  

   

 
May 4, 2006, 1:09 pm CDT

Dealing with the Added Stress

Quote From: sam001

 I had my first child last year in August she came on her due date.I'm a stay at home mom while my husband goes to work and College.I get frustrated alot when he barely helps me out  with our beautiful 8 month old girl.She is our world now.We moved for North Carolina to Fl, when she was 2 months old. I don't have the motivation to make friends down here and I'm not sure why.I left my family behind and live near his now.We fuss alot But I wouldn't give him or our daughter up for anything I love them both.Can anyone help me out on how to get myself out to make friends.I think that he thinks sometimes I resint him for us moving here.but I don't I love it here its beautiful.
Wow, I can relate to your situation.  I got married in June 2002 shortly after we found out we were pregnant with our first child.  Shortly after she was born my friends got married or moved do to careers, or schooling.  And I felt so lonely.  It was hard but I started to reach out to my neighbors who have children similar to my daugther's age and looked in my church group also, slowly some of us connected and we have created lasting bonds, that have traveled with us after we move to another city.  It has been a great blessing but one that takes a lot of time and effort and in my case a lot of prayer to know who to turn to.
 
May 5, 2006, 1:47 am CDT

I need lots of parenting/relationship help!!!!

I'm a 19 year-old mother of the cutest 3 month old boy. I am engaged to his father who I love very much. We are both going to college and working, me part-time, and him full-time. Our parents won't let us move out and live together, because they don't think it would be right. My fiance has been having a hard time bonding with our son, mostly because he's always working, at school, or trying to catch up on sleep. Every time my son and fiance get together, they both get upset and frusterated, why?? I guess it wouldn't be soo bad if when my fiance had some free time, he'd spend it with our son, but instead he spends it with his "guys" or sleeping. What can I do to get him more involved and bond with our son??
 
May 5, 2006, 1:57 am CDT

I feel your pain!

Quote From: jai149

I am a stay at home mum of two fantastic, if not full-on, children - 3 years old and 2 years old.  For the past week I have been sick with tonsilitis, broncholitis and the flu!!!!  All I want to do is rest.   

I feel terriable because this morning I yelled at my 3 year old, the first time I have ever yelled.  All he was doing was jumping on the bed.  I am just so tired and feel so sick.  I will never forget the look on his face.  He looked so betrayed.  I feel sick in the stomach thinking that I spoke down to him like that.  I really need a rest.  My husband has been no help at all.  Last night he even went out with his work mates even though he knows he should have been home looking after the kids so I could get some rest.  On top of all this, I think I may be pregnant but am too scared to do a pregnancy test as I had a miscarriage last year.  I am so stressed out,  I just need a break. 

I'm only 19, and am a mother of a 3 month old baby boy! recently I had my wisdom teeth pulled out and got dry socket. At the same time my son started teething and got an ear infection. My fiance spent the whole weekend out with his guys, and then he got pissed at me when I called him like a million times to come home. It seems like us women never get a break, but yet when a man doesn't feel well, they always feel way worse than we do! Your best bet is to call your mother, or a close friend to come help with kids, thats what I did! Maybe you have some advice on how I can get my fiance more involved with our son?
 
May 9, 2006, 7:31 pm CDT

Dealing with the Added Stress

HI MY NAME IS MARIA.... AND I HAVE 2 LITTLE GIRLS.... THE FIRST ONE IS 1 1/2 SHE WILL BE 2 ON 8/8/06... AND THE OTHER ONE IS 2 MONTHS... SOME TIMES I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR MY SELF ONLY WHEN THER ARE SLEEPING OR TAKEING A NAP.... MY HUSBEN DON'T HELP ME WITH THEM THAT MUCH... I'M ALWAYS DOING EVERYTHING IN THE HOUSE COOKING, SHOPPING,CLEANING... AND EVERYTIME I WANT TO GO AND GET SOME AIR I HAVE TO TAKE THEM BOTH WITH ME... IS HARD SOMETIMES... MY MOM ALWAYS TOLD ME WAIT TO HAVE KIDS U ARE NOT GOING TO DO EVERYTHING THAT U LIKE TO DO.... BUT I DEREN'T LEASEN I STILL DID IT.... I LOVE MY KIDS VERY MUCH.... I LIVE HERE IN BROOKLYN ALL ALONE WITH NO FAMILY AROUND... MY MOM LIVE FAR FROM ME.....   

 
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