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Topic : Dealing with the Added Stress

Number of Replies: 159
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 12:57:33 pm
Author : dataimport
"Having a new baby really has added stress to my life." Sound familiar? Tell us your story.

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October 4, 2007, 5:02 pm CDT

Stress

Quote From: numomie26

  I am a new mother, 26 years old.  I have a eigth month old son who is the joy and a great stressor in my life.  I thought things would get better after he got over the colic, but I would gladly return to it if I could just skip this teething stage.  When he was colic I knew what to expect..no sleep, and HUGE bags under my eyes.  With this teething stage, he's happy and content, the BAM he's fussing and screaming.  I never know what to expect.  Unfortunately during the first seven months of my pregnancy I was violently ill, so I had to drop school, so I am also in the process of getting back in.  ALSO, I am planning a wedding for November 17, thank God it will be over soon, so I am completely stressed to the max.  Sometimes I wonder how can I deal with this, the majority of my family can't help out until after six, but I feel bad cause they have their own stress in their lives, so I constantly say no when they ask to take him.  Now I'm afraid that they will expect the same thing when I start taking classes, it will only be one during the week and one on the weekend (of which my Fiance' can help out with, unless the National Guard takes him out of town again).  I've been looking around at the different daycare's but I really don't want to send him to one until he can talk and tell me what's going on (if , heaven forbid, someone should be abusing him).

  Any advice?

Yeah I have a 8 month old too. He has gone in and out of his teething for the last 5 months very annoying with no show of teeth. We did by some baby Orajel its works great and really does numb and better then just filling your kid with Tylenol.

 

About going back to school, I'm with you on no Daycares till they can atleast talk. Take your family up on the offer of watching him even though they also have stress in there life, sometimes baby sitting a cute family member is a nice break. My mother is always using my son as a break from house work and paper work, she gets on the floor and plays with him for a hour and its nice that I can then take over cleaning the house and doing some daily baby things that have to get done.

 

I personally have found it hard to deal with him craweling he never wants to sit still, he was to be picked up and held but he wants to move around in my arms and trying to touch everything at the new level. He likes his stationary walker but wants to walk away from it but cant cause he is stuck there, like to crawl on the floor but wants to get into everything he shouldn't even though his toy will be right next to the power cord. So i usually have to spend my time next to him all day. I do plan on getting the fenced in play area but well finding a big enough location in my parents house at the moment isn't easy. And now scares me more of how will it be when my son can walk, since we live with my parents for a few more months and there house isn't baby proofed at all.

 
January 7, 2008, 9:44 pm CST

I am 19 and about to become a mom

I'm 19 and about to be a single mom. My story is:

 

I live with my parents and 1 sister (who is 17 years old) the thing is, is that my sister believes she has to have all the attention and because I've been pregnant and my parents have been helping me out with everything my sister hasn't gotten much of it. So, she acts out but still get whatever she wants. I really can not handle her attitude that she has anymore...if i hear shut up come out of her mouth one more time i will seriously cry.

 

She can not be nice to be at all and she always likes to fight, I try to be the bigger person only because i understand that I'm about to be a parent to another human being (which is a very scary thing to be going through at this age) but I can not help but fight with her back (not physically but verbal) . The stress I'm afraid will lead to post-par tum depression (which i really do not want to go through). I have told her that she will not have a part in my daughters life if she continues like this but then I have my parents saying do not bring the baby into this, she is innocent.  Is there something else that I can try other then staying away or ignoring because either seem to work.

 
January 14, 2008, 11:14 am CST

Dealing with the Added Stress

Quote From: singlemom01

I'm 19 and about to be a single mom. My story is:

 

I live with my parents and 1 sister (who is 17 years old) the thing is, is that my sister believes she has to have all the attention and because I've been pregnant and my parents have been helping me out with everything my sister hasn't gotten much of it. So, she acts out but still get whatever she wants. I really can not handle her attitude that she has anymore...if i hear shut up come out of her mouth one more time i will seriously cry.

 

She can not be nice to be at all and she always likes to fight, I try to be the bigger person only because i understand that I'm about to be a parent to another human being (which is a very scary thing to be going through at this age) but I can not help but fight with her back (not physically but verbal) . The stress I'm afraid will lead to post-par tum depression (which i really do not want to go through). I have told her that she will not have a part in my daughters life if she continues like this but then I have my parents saying do not bring the baby into this, she is innocent.  Is there something else that I can try other then staying away or ignoring because either seem to work.

Your pregnant and it's very hard to not get emotional about your sis. Sounds like she's being immature. My advice, set some boundaries with her. If she's negative to you laugh it off and walk away. Call a friend to boost up you spirits. If she's negative, give her a compliment. compliment her anyway, she wants the attnetion probably because she feels loved when she gets it. Talk about how excited you are for your daughter to be here and how cool it will be that she can have such a cool aunt.

Your parents are right, you should try everything possible to not bring this child into the middle. Besides, you want to be able to deal with disagreements without always yelling or putting each other down, your daughter hears all of this.

You don't have to be best friends with your sis but you can make a connection where you two can communicate with each other. Keep yourself busy with other family and friends, work, hobbies,ect... to help keep your thoughts positive, so when your sis puts you down, she has a much larger defense to try to get through.I would also think about not taking it personal. Your doing everything you can to be a great mom and person, so it dosen't really matter what she says. You know the truth and thats cool. Immaturity is all she has, so don't feed into it.

You'll still have your bad days, so don't expect the first compliment you give her to be taken well, just work on it, and give it time.  There's room for mistakes but i'm sure you can get through this. Sonds like you have loving parents and your pregnant, it's okay to cry once in a while!LOL! good luck!

 
February 10, 2008, 2:32 pm CST

Dealing with the Added Stress

Hello. I had a baby in March of 2007. I  was in a head on colusion and had a emergency c-section. I am under alot of stess still. I'm terrified to get in a vechile. I have alot of flash backs and I'm still "trying" to deal with my pain levels etc.while taking care of a baby and a 6year old. I am very stressed out .I'll never have the same body back. I can't do hardly any of the things I used to do. I just need some advise on how I could lower the stress and have fewer panic attacks... 
 
July 18, 2008, 2:36 pm CDT

Irreconciable differences?

Hi, I hope you have some advice. My husband of 10 years and I are at a breaking point of our marriage. There are certain things that I learned to tolorate and/or live with over the years that I am finging myself questioning whether or not it's what I really want/need. In the beginning I was very happy that he was a hard worker (unlike my ex who would quit his job just because it was Tuesday and then leave us with no way to pay the rent that was due next week.) My huband now, Al, was a very responcible and very hard working person we always seemed to see eye to eye and we talked for hours about our common thoughts and diferences. He seemed to be a very compassionate, understanding person who I loved to spend time with. I comforted him when he was down and we were in love.

Now, years later, 5 kids later (3 from my first marriage) and our two, a house/mortage homework, my own job, him working two jobs and just the normal evey day nonsense that arises. He doesn't understand where that girl that was "so in love with him and would come running to him to wipe his "boo boo's (if you will) went off to." I'm busy and have my own BS to deal with on a daily basis. Not to mention that 9 times out of 10 his "crisis" has been self inflicted despite the forewarning that he chose to disregard.

He has been in counceling and is making some progress.......my question is this...how am I supposed to love and trust someone that has proven nothing by way of maturity responcibility and desire to accept reprocussions of his own actions? I'm the way I always have been. Sure I used to do a little more for him because I wanted to and thought he actually appreciated it. But now that I know its expected without any thing being given back.....how do I handle this?

 

Thanks,

Melissa

 
September 6, 2008, 7:39 pm CDT

Health problems

I am a 19 year old new mom. My daughter is a little over a month old. Being a teenage mother is hard enough, but to add on to things my baby was born with a few health problems. The first one is called heterotaxi syndrome. This is where her intestines didn't rotate . When we are in the womb are intestines are suppose to rotate 270 degrees hers never did. So he large intestine and bowel is on the left her small intestine and bowel is on the right, her colon is on the left her kidney's are in the right spot but her liver is the wring shape and sits across her body instead of to one side She also has a hernia so her stomach sits a little bit in her diaphragm and he stomach is so small it almost doesn't exist. She doesn't have a spleen either. This problem caused her to have a heart defect called Double Outlet right ventricle with mitral artersia. This is where her left ventricle didn't develop right. She has had to have three surgeries so far. The first one was to reroute her veins so they flow to the right parts of her body, then she started to bleed behind her heart so they had to go back in and fix that. Then her latest surgery she had was to tack down her intestines so they don't twist and get blocked. Every time she has surgery she has to have a breathing tube put in. After each surgery she has had fluid in her lungs so they had to put a chest tube in to help her drain the fluid. When she had her first heart surgery they left her chest opened so she wouldn't swell up, this was hard because you could see her heart betting in her chest. She also hasn't had a bottle yet because they where waiting to fix her stomach which they couldn't because her liver covered her stomach so the surgeons couldn't get to it. She is staying at the Children's Hospital of Milwaukee WI.  It is so hard dealing with all of this. Like i said being a teenage mom is hard enough but when you add this on top of everything it just makes me feel so overwhelmed.
 
October 13, 2008, 9:08 am CDT

HELP!

I have a son who will be two in January. He is on a feeding tube at night, He has a shunt in his head because he was born with Hydacephalus, he was born with webbed fingers. He also has a condition called hydronephosis where he has water around his kidneys and hyponufrosis where his hole on his penis is underneath. He was born premature and spent 6 months in the hospital. And was in and out after that. I also have have a daughter who is 8 mos old and in perfect health. I am always stressed out. between doctors in DC and being a single mom things are tough.
 
February 5, 2009, 9:35 am CST

19 with 2

 I am 19 with two beautiful children. My oldest is 15 months and my youngest is 2 months as of yesterday. I absolutely adore them and I love being a stay at home mom, but I feel like I lost myself. There is no "me" anymore just "mom". Even my boyfriend has a life he goes out and drinks and hangs out with his friends but never includes me because he "needs his own leizure time" but he only goes to school a few days a week meanwhile im at home doing absolutely everything. He helps out a little bit but I am still the one in charge of EVERYTHING. Like I dont want to go out by myself really because I would like for him to include me or visa versa but he doesnt seem to think he should because he "lives with me and we dont need to be attached at the hip" which I get...but where do I come in as a person other than mom???  My family doesnt give me much help in terms of the kids so its basically up to me. Its pretty depressing because it feels like this is my only point in life. To raise kids and clean the house and provide the things for my boyfriend that I need to. Its a very mundane life. There is no excitement in it anymore (besides the things my children do). So I guess my question is does or as anyone else feel the same way I do? Any suggestions on how to get out of this funk that I am in? How to get my boyfriend to want to be with me rather than with his friends??
 
June 7, 2009, 1:52 pm CDT

I understand

Quote From: d_reid

 I am 19 with two beautiful children. My oldest is 15 months and my youngest is 2 months as of yesterday. I absolutely adore them and I love being a stay at home mom, but I feel like I lost myself. There is no "me" anymore just "mom". Even my boyfriend has a life he goes out and drinks and hangs out with his friends but never includes me because he "needs his own leizure time" but he only goes to school a few days a week meanwhile im at home doing absolutely everything. He helps out a little bit but I am still the one in charge of EVERYTHING. Like I dont want to go out by myself really because I would like for him to include me or visa versa but he doesnt seem to think he should because he "lives with me and we dont need to be attached at the hip" which I get...but where do I come in as a person other than mom???  My family doesnt give me much help in terms of the kids so its basically up to me. Its pretty depressing because it feels like this is my only point in life. To raise kids and clean the house and provide the things for my boyfriend that I need to. Its a very mundane life. There is no excitement in it anymore (besides the things my children do). So I guess my question is does or as anyone else feel the same way I do? Any suggestions on how to get out of this funk that I am in? How to get my boyfriend to want to be with me rather than with his friends??
I have three small children myself, 5, 3, 2. and i'm only 22. It's very hard and difficult i was in a relationship with my childrens dad for about 5 years and he would go do his only thing and leave me with the kids all day every day. You just have to stay devoted to your children and never let them down they will thank you for it when they are older and relize that their father was not there was much as you were they will have a closer bond with you and me personally am very thankful for that. Your boyfriend just isn't ready to grow up he wants to be able to do what he wants. not suggestions there sorry. just keep your head up and be there for your children
 
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