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Topic : Dealing with the Added Stress

Number of Replies: 159
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Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 12:57:33 pm
Author : dataimport
"Having a new baby really has added stress to my life." Sound familiar? Tell us your story.

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January 29, 2006, 9:56 pm CST

I am also a mother at 22

I am a mother of a 2 year old girl and a 3 month old son. It seems just when my daughter seems to be adjusting well with her 3 month old brother she gets jealous and starts bitting. She also tells me no when she is mad at me when I have just gotten on to her. She hits sometimes even. I wonder if maybe I am going about punishing her the wrong way. I set her in time out when she misbehaves and she never sits there so finally after I have told her over and over i will spate her on her butt (covered with a diaper) it hurts her feelings she gets upset then we start all over again.
 
January 29, 2006, 10:02 pm CST

dealing with the addes stress

Quote From: nettabug06

I am a mother of a 2 year old girl and a 3 month old son. It seems just when my daughter seems to be adjusting well with her 3 month old brother she gets jealous and starts bitting. She also tells me no when she is mad at me when I have just gotten on to her. She hits sometimes even. I wonder if maybe I am going about punishing her the wrong way. I set her in time out when she misbehaves and she never sits there so finally after I have told her over and over i will spate her on her butt (covered with a diaper) it hurts her feelings she gets upset then we start all over again.
My 2 year old trys to help with her baby brother but she end up waking him up. We try to help her to understand that she is a big sister and let her help and play with him often we even play new games with just her and sing songs to the both of them, but she still throws these litte fits. I am so frusteraded I get depressed and want some me time like me time is working 40 hours a week just to get away from it all. I feel like I am really going to miss this age but I can't seem to enjoy it either
 
February 5, 2006, 8:12 pm CST

20yr old with 2 young children as well!

Quote From: youngmom22

of three children at the age of 21 but having your friends come over depends on your friends i guess ifi they have no children they probably wont want to hang out around a baby at least none of mine really did after a while i was on my own with no social life nobody to talk ot but my fiancee no family (my family is really crazy) so now i am here on these boards trying to talk to people and maybe find some cyber friends to chat with it gets so lonely with no adult conversation or outings.
i'm a 20yr old too with 2 young children and i know exactly how you feel! i get really bored sitting at home with no one to talk to but my kids and fiancee! thats why i thought i would give this chat thing a go i've never really done this before! how old are your kids if you dont mind me asking? mine i have a little girl who is 3 1/2 yrs old and a little boy who is 1 1/2 yrs old!
 
February 6, 2006, 11:03 am CST

hi

Quote From: ange06

i'm a 20yr old too with 2 young children and i know exactly how you feel! i get really bored sitting at home with no one to talk to but my kids and fiancee! thats why i thought i would give this chat thing a go i've never really done this before! how old are your kids if you dont mind me asking? mine i have a little girl who is 3 1/2 yrs old and a little boy who is 1 1/2 yrs old!

I have a 4 year old daughter a 2 year old and 2 month old sons I am on here for the same reasons and havent done this before. Maybe I will see ya on again sometime 

 
February 15, 2006, 9:15 am CST

Dealing with the Added Stress

I am 22 with a 4 month old baby boy. I am not used to being at home all day and am used to being busy with work all the time. My husband works 5 days a week and exhausted when he gets home. He usually gets home right around bedtime for our little guy. So our guy only likes me to cuddle and give him a bottle before bed. My husband tries to participate as much as possible on the weekends but gets scared if I go out without them on the weekends. It drives me crazy being home all the time with a baby. I have tried to tell him I need alone time, but it seems to sink in for a day and then it's gone again. He doesn't understand how hard it is to have dinner on the table when he gets home, clean the house, do laundry, take care of a baby, two cats and then him....where do I fit in that crazy schedule? I don't.  Any suggestions????
 
February 15, 2006, 10:32 am CST

Dealing with the Added Stress

Quote From: bcoceans

I am 22 with a 4 month old baby boy. I am not used to being at home all day and am used to being busy with work all the time. My husband works 5 days a week and exhausted when he gets home. He usually gets home right around bedtime for our little guy. So our guy only likes me to cuddle and give him a bottle before bed. My husband tries to participate as much as possible on the weekends but gets scared if I go out without them on the weekends. It drives me crazy being home all the time with a baby. I have tried to tell him I need alone time, but it seems to sink in for a day and then it's gone again. He doesn't understand how hard it is to have dinner on the table when he gets home, clean the house, do laundry, take care of a baby, two cats and then him....where do I fit in that crazy schedule? I don't.  Any suggestions????
Well, it may not be easy but you have to make room for your self. When the weekend comes along, have the basic neds of your child already taken care of and tell your husband that you are going out for a couple of hours, all he needs to do is............... Date nights are good as well, get a sitter for a couple of hours once in a while and you and hubby go out. It works if both of you are on the same page. Set priorities from imporance to not imporance and whate ever does not get done for the day, well, it wills till be there tomorrow. As far as dinner goes, don't stress over it, freeze left overs, prepare extra when you do cook, have some frozen entrees in the freezer and maybe even order out once in while, I am sure hubby can pop something in the microwvae once in a while, if he isn't willing to do that much, then that is his problem, not yours. You are one person and there are only 24 hours ina day, do what you can and don't worry about the rest. Life is too short to stress, I have learned many lessons like this in my 13 years of marriage. I do what I can and what is imporant and if I don't get the things done, it isn't going any where so it will still be there and hubby has learned to help him self and to take some initaitive. It takes two to maintain a home properly and to care for the kids therefore he should show some respect and appreciation for you. You can't change him but you certainly can change yourself and the first dstep is to respect your self........
 
February 15, 2006, 11:08 pm CST

Dealing with the Added Stress

Quote From: ange06

i'm a 20yr old too with 2 young children and i know exactly how you feel! i get really bored sitting at home with no one to talk to but my kids and fiancee! thats why i thought i would give this chat thing a go i've never really done this before! how old are your kids if you dont mind me asking? mine i have a little girl who is 3 1/2 yrs old and a little boy who is 1 1/2 yrs old!
Hi ya, I'm not 20 - I'm 30, but also have 2 young children - a 19mth old girl, and a 5 mth old boy.  We just started our own business (my husband and I), so money's tight, I'm flat out - with kids, working from home, running the house etc.  So I take what precious time I can during the day for myself.  Which never tends to last long! lol I thought about trying chat rooms on the net - but found it really boring, and guys that just wanna know what you're wearing!! i'm not into that.  Anyways, found these message boards and I really enjoy them.  It kind of gives me some space and I feel like I can chat to other people and we tend to understand each other's situation!  I miss adult company during the day....  I don't like to go out on my own with the kids because I find it too hard at their young age.  I only go if i absolutely have to!  haha  It's quite a shame really, I don't know any other women in this city - I moved here with my husband about 4 years ago.  At this age it's so hard to make new friends.  So, yeah, that's me.  Write back if you get the chance :-)
 
February 16, 2006, 10:17 am CST

Thank you!

Quote From: jettav

Well, it may not be easy but you have to make room for your self. When the weekend comes along, have the basic neds of your child already taken care of and tell your husband that you are going out for a couple of hours, all he needs to do is............... Date nights are good as well, get a sitter for a couple of hours once in a while and you and hubby go out. It works if both of you are on the same page. Set priorities from imporance to not imporance and whate ever does not get done for the day, well, it wills till be there tomorrow. As far as dinner goes, don't stress over it, freeze left overs, prepare extra when you do cook, have some frozen entrees in the freezer and maybe even order out once in while, I am sure hubby can pop something in the microwvae once in a while, if he isn't willing to do that much, then that is his problem, not yours. You are one person and there are only 24 hours ina day, do what you can and don't worry about the rest. Life is too short to stress, I have learned many lessons like this in my 13 years of marriage. I do what I can and what is imporant and if I don't get the things done, it isn't going any where so it will still be there and hubby has learned to help him self and to take some initaitive. It takes two to maintain a home properly and to care for the kids therefore he should show some respect and appreciation for you. You can't change him but you certainly can change yourself and the first dstep is to respect your self........
Thank you for the advice! I discussed what you said with my husband and I think he gets it. Last night he surprised me with a lovely dinner and wine. I think he is understanding how much I do in a day and that I need some spoiling too. It's all such a learning process and it will just keep getting better and better! Thank you for the advice once again, it really did help!
 
February 16, 2006, 12:47 pm CST

Dealing with the Added Stress

Quote From: bcoceans

Thank you for the advice! I discussed what you said with my husband and I think he gets it. Last night he surprised me with a lovely dinner and wine. I think he is understanding how much I do in a day and that I need some spoiling too. It's all such a learning process and it will just keep getting better and better! Thank you for the advice once again, it really did help!
I am glad that he is starting to understand. you have to realize also that men and women are soooo different in many ways, epsecially when it comes to taking care of the kids and household duties, we are just wired differently but when couples love and respect and communicate and listent ot one anotehr, things can be baleanced out. Believe me, my husband and I have been there as I think many couples have been, it is just a matter of working together and relizing that all of us have needs and desires. My husband is an awesome father and my girls are so lucky to have him, ha heas also seen that when he takes time out for us and me and him as a couple and gives me the time that I need as a woman, mother, wife, whatever, our relationship is so much more relaxing and life is easier. He appreciates everything that I have to offer and all but has learned that taking advantage is not a good thing and it goes the same the other way around. He is a great provider and works hard and of course he deserves his time as well, it is all a matter of respect and balance. Work together on the same page and life will be so much easer on every one including the kids..Good luck with everything. A good book that I would reccomend is "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus by John Gray, there is also a video for it, great stuff.
 
February 16, 2006, 7:48 pm CST

i understand

Quote From: mommababy

My Daughter now is 5 mnths....i tell yea..raising by myself has a lot of added stress...i just started putting her in her crib at night after rocking  her (with no rocking chair) and letting her cry...it breaks my heart to hear her cry like that...but she always wakes up after putting her down...plus she needs to learn to go to sleep on her own....hope im doin the right thing..... 

my daughter did the same thing, but i found that if you get on of those sleeping things.. they are suposed to keep baby from rolling over and are snug around them, of course put her on her back. that will help. they have them at wal-mart. also i know it sounds strange cause she is 5 months old now, but try one of those mommy bears. turn it on and put it by her she will fall right to sleep (or at least let you sleep) it worked for me!!! if none of that works then take on of your t-shirts and slip it under her sheet were you put her head down. the smell of you is what she wants. trust me one of these will work!!
 
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