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Topic : *A Dr. Phil Prime Time Special: Escaping Danger

Number of Replies: 113
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Created on : Tuesday, May 16, 2006, 01:34:24 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
The statistics are staggering. One in three women will become the victim of domestic violence. She could be your next door neighbor, your friend, your coworker.  To the outside world their lives seem normal but behind closed doors they live a nightmare full of intimidation and violence. For one woman, years of violence have brought her to a point of no return. Throughout her marriage, Kerry suffered physical and emotional torture at the hands of her husband. Like many women, she lived in fear, isolated from any help or support, until now.  In this important Dr. Phil Prime Time Special, Kerry will attempt to escape the abuse. She has only a narrow window in time to make her move.  And what she does in those few hours could be the difference between life and death. Kerry's dramatic story is an inspiration for the hundreds of thousands of women who wake terrified in their own homes. Airs at 8 p.m. (ET/PT) only on CBS.

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May 20, 2006, 8:18 am CDT

kerry

 Kerry  I was reminded of what my sister went through with her ex husband when I saw your plight. They do not change especially when they do not acknowledge they have a problem.  They blame everyone else for the problem.  My advice is to stay far away because when that raging bull loses it next time it could be your last time. What would happen to your children if something happened to you.  Abuse  is a scar that takes years to overcome  the feeling of low esteem , powerless to be on your own.  My husband  grew up in  a extremely abusive home his dad abused his mom  and severely abused him . His mom emotionally abused him that is justas bad as physical.  I am  lucky  he is not  a abuser so often abuse  is passed down.  Children learn whatthey see from parents. My husband had a set of wonderful grandparents that taught him love, I thank god every day for them. My sister was abused for 7 years and he never changed. She had so many bruises shewas lucky , she had many miscarriages  because of his beating on her.   Last night he never admitted he had a problem it is everyone else problem.  good luck  remember   your children deserve better 
 
May 20, 2006, 8:51 am CDT

Anyone else notice...

OK, I don't doubt that this woman suffered greatly from this abusive man but when I was watching the show I thought it was kind of odd that most of the time when she was "crying" there were no tears... it was if her emotions were forced or something. I expected her husband to come out & deny her claims but he certainly did not. I just didn't understand her crying without tears thing(?).
 
May 20, 2006, 9:46 am CDT

Give me a break

Quote From: dw20052

I have been a viewer of Dr. Phils since its inception even before on Oprah. I have always admired his up front attitude when giving advice. What I have learned is that he is a smart man who knows where the money is spent in our country.  Every show I hope that he will stand up for the men in this country whose only wish is for a happy home. When ever I hear "when momma ain't happy no one is happy" .When are women going to take responsibility for their own happiness and agree to what they promised in their wedding vows. In case they have forgotten a little reminder. LOVE HONOR and OBEY. If there was a more equal representation of reality then I would be more caring of what I see and hear. You Dr. Phil have yet to addressed that I have not seen my child for 19 years. Was there abuse on both our parts yes. When I realized that the home I had created was no longer there for my rest it made me angry. What would you have done if Robin treated you in this manner? Do not answer with "you teach people how to treat you". Another blame game solution.   

You are a more intelligent man then to think it is always the mans fault. Then why are we the ones more often than not the one to blame. The one to pay. The one that suffers because it is so easy to blame us. There is ten minutes to go and the man is still in the hot seat.   

The night I left my wife and child in my mind it had come to me leaving or killing her. I am not a killer yet what has she done to make me feel as if it was my only choice?  Am I to blame for her actions anymore than she is to blame for mine? Yet she has had total custody without any legal action. What do you think my chances would have been? Today I would have hard time retaining custody, then it was an impossibility. Well it has now been an hour of one mans assinine behavior that society will go to sleep thinking of. Thank you CBS and Dr. Phil  

  

Gimme a break.   This is 2006.  Who the hell has "obey" in their wedding vows anymore??? Not anybody i know of. In this case it is the husband's fault as he was abusive not only to his wife but to his children!     Talking the way he did in front of his 4 year old is absolutely blasphmous!    I would be really angry if i had a 4 year old child (or heard one) talking that rudely to his or her mother.   Having a child say "mommy I hate you" or i'm going to choke you" is not normally something that a child that age says! 

  

It is normally the man who starts the physical abuse and not the wife.  if she hits him back she would have every right to defend herself!   This guy kicked his pregnant wife out of the bed and she had to sleep in her truck?  What the hell was that all about??    

  

Statistically it is the man who is more abusive and controlling than the women.  I am not saying that women are total angels, no there are some women that are out of control - like the "Rage" episode shown a few weeks ago where that mother was beating and hurting her children.   In that case too, remember, the man was not  innocent either - i believe he'd kick the kids and there was some inicents with the "stick" 

  

Truth be told men are the ones statistically who are abusers -  

How many men report their girlfriends/wives etc to the authorities for violent behaviour?   

  

Marriage is a two way street if the vows are still in effect of   "love honour and Obey" then it works both ways if the woman says NO the man out to "Obey" her wishes. 

  

  

 
May 20, 2006, 10:43 am CDT

*A Dr. Phil Prime Time Special: Escaping Danger

does anyone have that quote when they were talking about how abusers like to isolate their victims?
 
May 20, 2006, 11:07 am CDT

Brought back the horror

I watched. I didn't know or expect what reaction I would have but I needed to watch. It has been over 3 years since I had him dragged out of the house by police. I am still fighting to get my divorce. My physical and emotional reaction to this show was profoundly upsetting. It brought back the horror. As I lay on the couch I found myself curled in a fetal position. For a long time I didn't recognize my arms crossed infront of me "for protection". One hand was tightened so tight in a fist that when I tried to open it, even forcefully, I could not. The other hand, I found, was continually clawing at my flesh on my side. It wouldn't stop! I tried to move from my position - I could not. The tears flowed continually. They would not stop either! Today, my muscles are sore. I am still bent over, almost cowering. I have MS. This will get better though - I hope. It was with the strength of you, Dr. Phil that I ended this marriage in the first place! For that I thank you so very much. But I don't know if the emotional scars will ever go away. He is still trying to control my life in the court system, take away my home and without the financial ability to hire a lawyer I am still being pushed around from one lawyer to another within the legal aid system - none of whom want to deal with a case involving a man who has demonstrated he is calculating, tactical and willing to do anything to win the vengance he truly desires - against a wife with multiple sclerosis who does not have the health and the strength to protect herself even now in court. I HAVE NO ONE TO HELP ME AND I AM TIRED - SO VERY TIRED.I am glad that woman got out. I hope she continues to be safe.For me I am not too sure. HE WILL GET ME ONE WAY OR ANAOTHER AND RIGHT NOW I AM TOO TIRED TO TRY TO STOP HIM.
 
May 20, 2006, 12:00 pm CDT

a little education, I hope?

Quote From: lexieice

This show was riveting and I thought portrayed the life of an abused woman very well. I was disappointed, however, that we were left at the end with no follow up. Did her husband seek help? Did she return to him? Is she doing OK now?  

   

While I understood Dr. Phil's advice not to cross state lines, I was terrified for her to go to a shelter so close to home. Couldn't she have moved to one within state boundaries but MUCH further away??? It seems that he could still have found her at any time. Do shelters have 24 hour security against raging husbands who come in search of their wives? Someone please educate me on this!  

Hi there! I don't live in the states, I live in Canada, so I hope this still applies...? Both times I have gone into shelters, they had closed circuit cameras all around the perimeter of the property, bulletproof glass on all doors and all the windows (that didn't open) too. 24/7 staff, privacy fence, buzzing in and out of the building, regular police drive-bys, just to get started. Security was paramount. Thankfully!! Hopefully things are taken at least as seriously down there. Have a great weekend!! 

  

Donna 

 
May 20, 2006, 12:33 pm CDT

Dr. Phil

I DON'T KNOW IFYOU READ MY PREVISOU MESSAGE BUT PLEASE....HELP ME. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE. I HAVE TO GO TO COURT IN A FEW DAYS. I AM SO WEAK AND CONFUSED WITH MY MS. NO ONE WANTS MY CASE. I HAVE NO FAMILY TO GELP ME. PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME
 
May 20, 2006, 1:50 pm CDT

What Do You Own in this?????????

Quote From: dw20052

I have been a viewer of Dr. Phils since its inception even before on Oprah. I have always admired his up front attitude when giving advice. What I have learned is that he is a smart man who knows where the money is spent in our country.  Every show I hope that he will stand up for the men in this country whose only wish is for a happy home. When ever I hear "when momma ain't happy no one is happy" .When are women going to take responsibility for their own happiness and agree to what they promised in their wedding vows. In case they have forgotten a little reminder. LOVE HONOR and OBEY. If there was a more equal representation of reality then I would be more caring of what I see and hear. You Dr. Phil have yet to addressed that I have not seen my child for 19 years. Was there abuse on both our parts yes. When I realized that the home I had created was no longer there for my rest it made me angry. What would you have done if Robin treated you in this manner? Do not answer with "you teach people how to treat you". Another blame game solution.   

You are a more intelligent man then to think it is always the mans fault. Then why are we the ones more often than not the one to blame. The one to pay. The one that suffers because it is so easy to blame us. There is ten minutes to go and the man is still in the hot seat.   

The night I left my wife and child in my mind it had come to me leaving or killing her. I am not a killer yet what has she done to make me feel as if it was my only choice?  Am I to blame for her actions anymore than she is to blame for mine? Yet she has had total custody without any legal action. What do you think my chances would have been? Today I would have hard time retaining custody, then it was an impossibility. Well it has now been an hour of one mans assinine behavior that society will go to sleep thinking of. Thank you CBS and Dr. Phil  

Why Are You Lashing Out at Dr. Phil?????  Anger seems to be Your Middle Name Here.......You left because it had come down to you leaving or Killing Her??????  You are Not a Killer........but what your wife had done......made you feel as if it was your Only Choice???????   and the Big One "Am I to blame for her actions anymore than she is to blame for mine?????  So if you would have killed her..........this would have been your justification in Doing So??????............Man.......You Need Some Serious Help.............Love Honor & Obey..........doesn't mean that the Husband Has the Right to Beat the Crap out of his wife.........Nor the Other Way Around.............I would Focus on What you have Stated Here.............Very Seriously....................
 
May 20, 2006, 2:15 pm CDT

This is 2006..........................

Quote From: starlett

  

Gimme a break.   This is 2006.  Who the hell has "obey" in their wedding vows anymore??? Not anybody i know of. In this case it is the husband's fault as he was abusive not only to his wife but to his children!     Talking the way he did in front of his 4 year old is absolutely blasphmous!    I would be really angry if i had a 4 year old child (or heard one) talking that rudely to his or her mother.   Having a child say "mommy I hate you" or i'm going to choke you" is not normally something that a child that age says! 

  

It is normally the man who starts the physical abuse and not the wife.  if she hits him back she would have every right to defend herself!   This guy kicked his pregnant wife out of the bed and she had to sleep in her truck?  What the hell was that all about??    

  

Statistically it is the man who is more abusive and controlling than the women.  I am not saying that women are total angels, no there are some women that are out of control - like the "Rage" episode shown a few weeks ago where that mother was beating and hurting her children.   In that case too, remember, the man was not  innocent either - i believe he'd kick the kids and there was some inicents with the "stick" 

  

Truth be told men are the ones statistically who are abusers -  

How many men report their girlfriends/wives etc to the authorities for violent behaviour?   

  

Marriage is a two way street if the vows are still in effect of   "love honour and Obey" then it works both ways if the woman says NO the man out to "Obey" her wishes. 

  

  

I don't know what this man was talking about that you respond to, but he sounded on another planet.  We aren't talking about normal fighting in marriages we are talking about down right terrorist acts. As an adult you have the choice whether or not you decide if you are going to throw your wife up against an iron stove. As an adult you have a choice whether or not you are going to hit your wife over the head with a flash light. As an adult you have a choice whether or not you are going to kick your wife and your unborn child.  Since when does a spouse need to obey another spouse when he is physically tormenting her? If you aren't able to get some type of  custody involving  your child then there is a reason for it.
 
May 20, 2006, 2:59 pm CDT

*A Dr. Phil Prime Time Special: Escaping Danger

I was surprised to see Kerry on tv, because I recognized her as our local director of animal control.  Her job is to protect animals from neglect, abuse, and the like, so I find it ironic that she left behind her dog.  If her husband is as depraved as he seems, the poor dog will certainly pay the price.
 
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