Topic : 08/10 Abandoned

Hello to all of you. This is Mike - the man left in the park.  First I would like to let you all know that I am reading every single message on the board and thank MOST of you for the words of kindness. They are greatly appreciated.  To Nora, becamadmom, Christina, Julie, Trisha, Wendy, Lucy, Cheryl, Yvonne, kellydog1, mtnt799, sweenymom, sherriffnana, Kimberly, frillifroo, wlkngtksho, Rod, Elaine and family, wynner, Wendy M., nesbitt301, aroutzahn, jettav, mdw2005, lost girl and all the others.....thank you for sharing your personal stories and feelings with me.  I can relate to all of the feelings you all have.  I have felt all of those emotions at one time or another over the last 22 years.  

First, I would like to answer one important question a lot of you ask.  Why? Why did you want to find your mom.  Well, to be honest when I started looking I wasn't really looking for my mom.  I wanted to find my sister Alpha.  I was not sure then and am not sure now if my mom deserved my time or energy but one thing I did know was that Alpha did.  Alpha was 12 and I was 10 when my mom seperated us.  I couldn't help to fell that Alpha was haunted by the guilt of being a part of this crime.  I wanted her to know I did make it safely that day, and that she was also a child and a victim of this crime and that I loved her very much and not to worry about me anymore.  That was my goal.  God had a different plan for me and after finding the truth about my father, and my sister, I felt I was so close to finding my mom I just kept going.  I will tell all of you after I found out Alpha was dead I wanted to stop, it was just too painful.  I loved her and miss her deeply, I hope she knew that ! After a couple of weeks went by I decided  to pick myself up and finish what I started.    

Second, a lot of you ask why isn't this woman, Judy ,in jail and what is she going to be charged with.  The answer to that is, she will not go to jail for this crime and will be charged for nothing.  The statue of Limits is up and the laws in 1983 in San Diego don't cover this type of abandonment.  I think that is wrong but there is not much I can do about it.  There is no statue of limits for murder or other crimes, maybe if there were no limits on the time that goes by for abandoning a child, and you could go to jail when your child grows up and decides to press charges less people would abandon thier kids.  I don't know I am a loss for that one?  

Third, there are a lot of you that ask why was it so hard for a ten year old, did he not know his address, grandparent etc.  Well, because of the complex details our story had we just could not share enough.  Simply put, a one hour show only touched on the criminal behavior of my birth mom Judy.  By the time I was 10 years old she had changed my first name 6 times.  Anyone wondering if I am Curtis, Mitch, Bud, Spider, Bay and now known as Mike those are all me.  Our last name was whoever she was dating at the time, we had thier last name.  She also changed Alpha's name a few times that I remember she was Alpha, Tina and Angel.  She had a lifestyle of lies.  She herself has had 14 names that we could find, maybe some you will recognize; Judy , Tina, Jesse, Jesse, Janice, Deidre, and now known as Jessica.  She has 3 active social security numbers.  She lied on both mine and Alpha's birth certificates.  She stole an I.D. from Tina in L.A. and that is the name on our birth certificates, under the column on the birth certificates where it says mother's Social Security # it reads "unknown". My birth mom has been stealing identities before it was a commom crime.  She also lied on my school records about her name and my sister's name and my name and my birth date.  She put me in kindegarten when I was 4, I am sure to get me out of her hair.  This last year I found out I was actually born in 1973 not 1972.  This last year I celebrated my 33rd birthday AGAIN.  I know alot of you women out there think that is cool, but for me it was just another lie.    

Finally, I would like to touch on the wonderful words of encouragement from alot of you.  There is one thing a lot of you say that I agree with. She DID do me a favor.  It is hard to say those words but they are true.  I have had so many wonderful people love me like I had never known love before.  My third foster home Sandra taught me how to be a believer and a man of God- thank you to her for that.  There were also foster homes that were good to me;  Beverly and Ray and of course my mom and dad Kelly and Rob.  There will never be enough good things I could tell you about those people.  If I can encourage anyone out there to be a foster parent I would hope my story inspires them.  To all the foster parents who shared thier story; thank you for loving a child that you were not obligated to, what a wonderful gift !   

As for me healing I am doing great.  One conclusion I have came to in my journey is that my real mom was running from more than an abandoned child.  There is nothing I want from her or need from her.  One thing that did drive me to continue my search is knowing I could inspire others, that to be is unbelievable.  By all the stories I have read, you guys inspire me too.  Thank you all for sharing your stories and caring about me and my family.  God Bless all of you.  

Your friend, Mike

Hi Mike and everyone on this board. 

It truly is amazing to see Mike's journey and see our stories as well. There are many of us out there. I too was abandoned, and its been a hard life. Getting better, but hey, that's life. 

There is support out there; tailored just for abandoned individuals. Not adopted. Abandoned. Finally! 

Google: Keall Foundation and you'll find it.  

I have found it particulary good in my world. Once I had the great fortune of talkign with an abandoned person, I no longer felt like an alien. I could finally feel like I belonged on this earth. Amen! 

I'm wishing Mike and his family well. His wife and family sure are beautiful. It seems like they have all learned a lot from this experience. Good for you. 

Rachel