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Topic : 08/10 Abandoned

Number of Replies: 533
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Created on : Friday, May 19, 2006, 10:11:45 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 05/23/06) Imagine being 10 years old, going to the park with your mother and sister and before you know it, you're alone and must fend for yourself. Michael was abandoned at a park carousel 22 years ago, and life as he knew it ended there. He has never stopped searching for his mother and sister, but he's been unable to find any trace of them. When Dr. Phil connects him with a private investigator, his whole world changes again. See what happens when he confronts the woman who abandoned him more than two decades ago. Will he get the answers he's looking for? Was his mother searching for him, and is she the same woman he remembers? Michael also learns some shocking news about his sister. Then, Dr. Phil surprises Michael with two women who never gave up their quest to find him. And, meet the amazing people Michael now calls Mom and Dad. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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October 15, 2008, 2:17 pm CDT

MIKE YOU DO HAVE SOME FAMILY.

Quote From: scovillehb

Hello to all of you. This is Mike - the man left in the park.  First I would like to let you all know that I am reading every single message on the board and thank MOST of you for the words of kindness. They are greatly appreciated.  To Nora, becamadmom, Christina, Julie, Trisha, Wendy, Lucy, Cheryl, Yvonne, kellydog1, mtnt799, sweenymom, sherriffnana, Kimberly, frillifroo, wlkngtksho, Rod, Elaine and family, wynner, Wendy M., nesbitt301, aroutzahn, jettav, mdw2005, lost girl and all the others.....thank you for sharing your personal stories and feelings with me.  I can relate to all of the feelings you all have.  I have felt all of those emotions at one time or another over the last 22 years.  

First, I would like to answer one important question a lot of you ask.  Why? Why did you want to find your mom.  Well, to be honest when I started looking I wasn't really looking for my mom.  I wanted to find my sister Alpha.  I was not sure then and am not sure now if my mom deserved my time or energy but one thing I did know was that Alpha did.  Alpha was 12 and I was 10 when my mom seperated us.  I couldn't help to fell that Alpha was haunted by the guilt of being a part of this crime.  I wanted her to know I did make it safely that day, and that she was also a child and a victim of this crime and that I loved her very much and not to worry about me anymore.  That was my goal.  God had a different plan for me and after finding the truth about my father, and my sister, I felt I was so close to finding my mom I just kept going.  I will tell all of you after I found out Alpha was dead I wanted to stop, it was just too painful.  I loved her and miss her deeply, I hope she knew that ! After a couple of weeks went by I decided  to pick myself up and finish what I started.    

Second, a lot of you ask why isn't this woman, Judy ,in jail and what is she going to be charged with.  The answer to that is, she will not go to jail for this crime and will be charged for nothing.  The statue of Limits is up and the laws in 1983 in San Diego don't cover this type of abandonment.  I think that is wrong but there is not much I can do about it.  There is no statue of limits for murder or other crimes, maybe if there were no limits on the time that goes by for abandoning a child, and you could go to jail when your child grows up and decides to press charges less people would abandon thier kids.  I don't know I am a loss for that one?  

Third, there are a lot of you that ask why was it so hard for a ten year old, did he not know his address, grandparent etc.  Well, because of the complex details our story had we just could not share enough.  Simply put, a one hour show only touched on the criminal behavior of my birth mom Judy.  By the time I was 10 years old she had changed my first name 6 times.  Anyone wondering if I am Curtis, Mitch, Bud, Spider, Bay and now known as Mike those are all me.  Our last name was whoever she was dating at the time, we had thier last name.  She also changed Alpha's name a few times that I remember she was Alpha, Tina and Angel.  She had a lifestyle of lies.  She herself has had 14 names that we could find, maybe some you will recognize; Judy , Tina, Jesse, Jesse, Janice, Deidre, and now known as Jessica.  She has 3 active social security numbers.  She lied on both mine and Alpha's birth certificates.  She stole an I.D. from Tina in L.A. and that is the name on our birth certificates, under the column on the birth certificates where it says mother's Social Security # it reads "unknown". My birth mom has been stealing identities before it was a commom crime.  She also lied on my school records about her name and my sister's name and my name and my birth date.  She put me in kindegarten when I was 4, I am sure to get me out of her hair.  This last year I found out I was actually born in 1973 not 1972.  This last year I celebrated my 33rd birthday AGAIN.  I know alot of you women out there think that is cool, but for me it was just another lie.    

Finally, I would like to touch on the wonderful words of encouragement from alot of you.  There is one thing a lot of you say that I agree with. She DID do me a favor.  It is hard to say those words but they are true.  I have had so many wonderful people love me like I had never known love before.  My third foster home Sandra taught me how to be a believer and a man of God- thank you to her for that.  There were also foster homes that were good to me;  Beverly and Ray and of course my mom and dad Kelly and Rob.  There will never be enough good things I could tell you about those people.  If I can encourage anyone out there to be a foster parent I would hope my story inspires them.  To all the foster parents who shared thier story; thank you for loving a child that you were not obligated to, what a wonderful gift !   

As for me healing I am doing great.  One conclusion I have came to in my journey is that my real mom was running from more than an abandoned child.  There is nothing I want from her or need from her.  One thing that did drive me to continue my search is knowing I could inspire others, that to be is unbelievable.  By all the stories I have read, you guys inspire me too.  Thank you all for sharing your stories and caring about me and my family.  God Bless all of you.  

Your friend, Mike

WELL MIKE THIS IS ANDREA AGAIN... I UNERSTAND IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO MESSAGE ME BACK BECAUSE IM PART OF YOUR REAL FAMILY I KNOW EVERY ONE YOU HAVE MET FROM THERE ARE CRAZY! WELL I AM NOT..LOL I KNOW HOW THEY ARE AND I JUST WANT TO LET YOU KNOW YOU DO HAVE SOME NORMAL FAMILY OUT THERE.. IM NOT GONNA SAY A NAME BUT ONE PERSON THAT WAS ON THE SHOW LIED ABOUT ALOT OF STUFF!!! AND I WANT TO GET IT STRAIGHT.. YOUR GRANDMA AND MINE MARY: I WOULD LOVE TO GIVE YOU INFO ABOUT HER!!! I DONT KNOW IF YOU EVER LOOK AT THIS BUT IF YOU DO JUST EMAIL ME.. IF YOU DONT WANNA KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR FAMILY THATS FINE TO.. I DID GROW UP NORMAL.. BC OF MY MOTHER.. BUT BY WHAT SHE DID

I AM 100% SURE SHE DID YOU A FAVOR I AM VERY SORRY TO SAY..

SO JUST EMAIL ME IF YOU WANT?? andreareneesr08@aol.com

 
November 14, 2008, 11:09 pm CST

Promote Adoption!

Quote From: rmsmith

Hi Mike and everyone on this board. 

  

It truly is amazing to see Mike's journey and see our stories as well. There are many of us out there. I too was abandoned, and its been a hard life. Getting better, but hey, that's life. 

  

There is support out there; tailored just for abandoned individuals. Not adopted. Abandoned. Finally! 

  

Google: Keall Foundation and you'll find it.  

  

I have found it particulary good in my world. Once I had the great fortune of talkign with an abandoned person, I no longer felt like an alien. I could finally feel like I belonged on this earth. Amen! 

  

I'm wishing Mike and his family well. His wife and family sure are beautiful. It seems like they have all learned a lot from this experience. Good for you. 

  

Rachel 

I have a huge heart for anyone that has been left "abandoned." Having worked in child-welfare for over 7 years I have much to say. 1) Women who are not ready to parent are not bad mothers. 2) There should not be "an abandonded baby legislation."  We should simply promote adoption. Afterall, when a baby is abandoned, they are adopted! Adoption is a beautiful act of love! Today, when birthparents aren't ready to parent they can have a situation that allows ready parents  to love and raise a child./ AND have knowledge of their child through openess.

 
November 19, 2008, 5:57 am CST

In response...

I have been sitting here reading responses from everyone and realizing that although I was also abandoned by my mother, it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

When I was 13, my mother sent me and my brothers (15 and 2 at the time) to bed.   So, we went.  We heard her moving around garbage bags but thought she was just taking out the trash.   When we woke up that morning, I went into my parents bedroom to wake my Mom up as we were getting ready for school and wanted to say good-bye.   I found my 2 year old brother lying in his crib, and my mother was no where to be found.  All of her stuff was gone from the bedroom and we had no idea where she was.  I ran downstairs to tell my older brother that my Mom was gone and he thought I was crazy.   She left us alone in the middle of the night - my Father was at work.   He came home at 8 am that morning to find me and my brothers crying in the livingroom.   We had no idea where she was, it took us six months to track her down, she had left Ontario to go to Idaho, she met another man on the Internet.    I didn't hear from my mother for about 8 years, which I thought was wrong.   To this day, she still blames me for leaving, told me that I was causing problems between her and my father.    Lately though, she has tried to get back into my life because now she believes she is entitled to see my son, her Grandson.   I'm sorry, but as far as I am concerned, he is not her Grandson anymore, she chose to walk away.

I guess what I am getting at here is that unfortunately, a lot of us have to deal with abandonment.   But, it helps us to grow stronger and grow from the things our parents do.   I know that I could never leave my children, ever.   I have foriven my mother for what she has done, but I will never forget.   She calls me on my birthday, and she sometimes calls at Christmas time.   I haven't seen her in 10 years, she blames it on me.   She is now in Edmonton, living with another man that she met in the internet, taking care of his children.   

When something like this happens to a child, the biggest thing that we have to realize as adults is that our life is better - who knows where we would be if they didn't leave?  I would not be the person that I am today, she left and because of that made me the strong woman that I am today.   


I just wanted to share my story, Thank you for listening.
 
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