Topic : 05/24 "Get My Groom to Grow Up!"

Angee craves attention like I crave sugar.  Not healthy for either of us.  She's cute but not drop-dead gorgeous.  Doesn't she realize by now that guys, in real life or on My Space, will say anything they think she wants to hear to get into her pants?  Didn't she watch Dr. Phil's specials on predators on the Internet?  She's exposing her 3 kids to possible danger from some psycho who'll flatter her just to get close to her kids.   She's immature, self-absorbed, and needs serious counseling before she marries for the 4th time.   Her self-esteem must be in the toilet.     

But as to the Momma's boy -- yep, he's one.  Run.  Don't marry him.  He won't change.    

My mother's 3rd marriage was to a Momma's boy.  He was a very nice man, but Mom and her Mother-In-Law fought constantly, putting him in the middle every day.   He never knew his dad and had no siblings.  His family was his mother and her sisters.  Nothing he did could please either my mother or his mother.  So, he escaped into the bottle.  That eventually ruined his health.  By the time his mother died, he had stopped drinking but the damage was done, and my mother was never happy with him.    

Mom's now looking at her future 4th husband -- another Momma's boy.  No one could warn her about the last one and she doesn't want to hear it about this one either.  This one is 62 and has never left his mother's side.  Mom is already making comments about how they can never do anything without "mother".   When she's miserable, she makes sure everyone around her suffers, too.  

So, to Angee -- forget Momma's boy.  Forget men for now.  Forget marriage for now.  Concentrate on stabilizing your kids' lives.  As the stepdaughter to 2 of my mother's husbands, it gets old quick trying to please another "new" family.   Pay as much attention to your kids as you do to trying to land another man.    

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.  Take one out when you what a joy ride, but don't keep bringing them home until the kids are older and you've matured a bit.    

My 2 cents, for what that's worth today.    

Tyler is a loser.  Dump him.  Get an attorney and protect your rights and your child's rights.  Don't trust him to be around in 10 years to support you.  Get it on record at the court.  Have him obligated to pay child support.  Tyler is never going to grow up but one day when you're trying to pay your child's dental bill and he can't be bothered, you can take that court order, levy against his band equipment and possibly garnish any wages he has to pay your child's bills.     

Take a good hard look at Tyler.  Is that the role model you want for your child?  Do you want your child to be a teenage alcoholic or drug abuser?  Children emulate parents.  Tyler thinks there's nothing wrong with his behavior.   

A friend of mine almost lost her daughter to heroin.  Her first husband was a junkie.  He'd get clean for a few months, then go back to abusing drugs.  He, too, was a Momma's boy and Momma made every excuse in the world for him.  She knew he was using, yet she always bailed him out.  One day the daughter joined dad in a drinking/drug binge.  She became a full-blown alcoholic and druggie at age 11.  When the daughter hit 16, she trashed her mother's house and tried to kill her.  After the daughter was arrested and sitting in jail, the first husband felt so bad about turning his own daughter into a junkie, he killed himself.  Even in the end, it was all about him.     

On this show, Tyler made it clear -- it's all about Tyler -- little, baby, immature Tyler and what Tyler wants.  You don't need 2 babies in your life, one with a substance abuse problem to boot.   

Get thee to a lawyer ASAP.  Protect yourself and your child now!!     

Besides, you can do a lot better than Tyler.  Maybe he'll grow up, but odds are your baby will grow up before he will.  Good luck.   

i agree as well, besides my other post about punks vs lowlifes, i agree that more focus should have been placed on what tyler's life will be like if he doesn't change now...it isn't so cool to be a 50 year old alcoholic bachelor- let alone a 50 year old former punk band singer...or even worse- STILL SINGING in a punk band?! 

;) 

as a person with tattoos and "funny" colored hair, i am disappointed to see a "punk" couple representing "dads that won't grow up".   

i understand that they happen to have that problem and what they look like should not matter- but is it really so hard to find a "normal" looking guy who does the same thing? maybe have had them both on? i feel like the message that was conveyed- more than the dispicable irresponsiblity of being a deadbeat dad- is that "punks" are bad people and lowlifes who like to party and won't be responsible.   

for example, when i was in high school, there were plenty of artist/ unconventional kids who were not bad kids, and didn't do anything wrong- or at the very least didn't do anything different than the other "normal" kids we went to school with...it was the "normal" kids that got away with murder, while the "weird" ones were singled out for making trouble...when often the real harm was being done by the average appearing individual....they are simply more disguised, blending into the sea of similar faces- not without fault.   

my husband an i are highly functional, intelligent members of society who- though don't look like our neighbors- are very much productive parts of our community. we have an exceptionally wonderful marriage, own a house and work very hard. we care about the planet, politics, and the state of the world, and we live our lives in our own way, with our own look...and it never ceases to amaze me the looks people give sometimes- when they see what we look like vs what we say and do. it is shocking to the average individual that i might hold the door for an elderly couple, thank someone for doing the same-or *gasp* even smile??! despite the frustration, i relish these moments, because i can only hope that those folks go home and tell their family how some nice girl with crazy hair and a nose ring held the door for them.