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Topic : 09/07 Cheating Fiances?

Number of Replies: 379
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Created on : Friday, May 19, 2006, 10:24:15 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 05/25/06) An engagement ring symbolizes a commitment you make to one special person. But Dr. Phil’s guests are accused of the ultimate betrayal: cheating on their spouse-to-be right before walking down the aisle. Melanie says she’s obsessed with catching her fiancé, Mike, in the act. She constantly checks his e-mails and even flew to another town while he was on a business trip to see if he was being unfaithful. Mike maintains his innocence and says Melanie’s prying is putting a strain on their relationship. Will Melanie’s mission backfire on her? Then, Nicole recently called off her wedding because she discovered that her fiancé, John, had sex with another woman one month before their big day. John blames his affair on “hormones” and desperately wants to reconcile. Should Nicole take him back, or cut her losses and move on? Don’t miss Dr. Phil’s seven questions you must ask to see if your cheating partner deserves a second chance!  Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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May 22, 2006, 8:16 pm CDT

If They're Gonna Cheat Before The Vows...

They'll most certainly cheat AFTER the vows!  There must be some mental imbalance in people who cannot hold a higher moral ground OR have consideration for others when making such a serious commitment to them...then why even bother? 

 

OXO
Lucy
 

 
May 22, 2006, 8:50 pm CDT

Men

My fiancee was one of those guys who had never cheated in his life and said he couldnt do that 

within a year we were married we have been married for  6 years now but 3 years ago he tried to run off with my best friend so dont let yourself get hurt like i did get rid of him its not worth the pain. 

 
May 22, 2006, 8:57 pm CDT

Trust is more important than feelings of love

If you cannot trust the person you are marrying, then don't do it.  Why do people think that getting married is some kind of bandaid for all sore spots?  If you marry someone who is untrustworthy, you are basically giving them permission to walk all over you.  Their thought is "if they will put up with it before any ties, then they won't be able to do anything about it afterwards."    

Look at your life with this person right at this moment; now, imagine 5 years down the road if that person does not change.  What if you have children in that 5 years.  Can you really risk the heartbreak for you and your children?  You are worth more than the value you are placing on yourself.  Divorce is too ugly and expensive to comtemplate.  Trust, first--then marry.  

 
May 23, 2006, 3:45 am CDT

what dishonesty will get you.

starting off on a bad foot in a relationship will end in a nightmare 95% of the time. I am on my second marriage, the first lasted about 5 years. I have now been married to my wife for 12 years and have never been happier, we have a 3 year old son and I would not change a thing. 

  

Now my first marriage ended in a true nightmare, The sad part is it to this day still haunts me and my family. The decision of one person can change the lives of many as I will put a post in hear for an ABC News link and let you make your own opinion of deception before marriage. 

  

http://abclocal.go.com/wjrt/story?section=local&id=4181556 

  

This story has made national news for the last 9 months, people now days are unlike when my parents were growing up and commitment is true love, now the words I DO and Till Death do us part have a whole different meaning. 

  

I believe you will be absolutely flabbergasted at the report the ABC News channel has done on not only my life, but the actions of one person and how they have devastated lives for 15 years after the divorce. 

  

 I have talked with the DR Phil show and Montel Williams, I have had some very interesting responses from both, I hope one day they will do a story on the devastation that 1 lie has brought to my life and my family's. 

  

                                                                                              Sincerely Douglas M Richardson


 
May 23, 2006, 5:52 am CDT

Call the whole thing off

I am shocked to learn that the lady has known for some time and only decides now whether she should continue or not. Clearly you cannot spend your life with someone who is not totally commited to this relationship. You would be depriving yourself, do not sell yourself short for anyone because no one would ever do the same for you when coming to such matters. The guy clearly has some unresolved matters so allow him the space but do not wait with bated breath. There are a lot of guys out there looking for woman like you. GO OUT AND EXP[LORE 

 
May 23, 2006, 6:17 am CDT

Don't Do It!

He will tell you everything under the sun as to why he cheated to win you back. Cheaters are selfish beasts with self esteem issues and are not to be trusted. They are always on the prowl, and they call it a challenge to see if they will be caught and are ever so sorry when they do. Don't go down that road and waste your life. There are alot of caring people out there that are worthy of trust. 

 
May 23, 2006, 6:25 am CDT

Been there

Quote From: lruiz1999

I found out on Valentine's Day that my husband of 12 years was having an affair. According to the other woman, he had been calling her and e-mailing her for almost 7 years. I feel like most of my marriage was a sham, like I am married to a stranger, and like I don't know what to expect from him next. Two weeks after I found out he was cheating, he received an e-mail from his old high school girlfriend. He gaver her his cell number and was telling her when it was a good time to call him, which she was doing. She lives out of state, but so did the other girl. He says they were just talking and catching up and he didn't tell me because it wasn't the "right time" and he knew I'd be mad. He's right, I was mad. Mad that he didn't tell me if it was so "innocent", mad that he bares his soul to other women and not his wife, mad that he puts what he wants before everyone else, mad that he's so secretive and mad that he put me through this! What am I supposed to be? Trusting? Supportive? Forgiving? Of course, he wants to work it out and doesn't want to lose his family. He even told the old high school girlfriend that he made a mistake he was trying to correct. Again, not honest. His trying to correct is not going to the marriage counselor for 2 months so we don't have to rehash it, not talking about it, getting angry if I do talk about it, bullying me into staying quiet, and generally acting as if it didn't happen.  If I knew before I married him what I know now, you can bet I'd have dropped him like a hot cake.

Yup, sounds all to familiar with me. Mine cheated to, several times during our 15 years of marriage, right under my nose. I felt just like you, mad, wanting to go to counseling, wanting to talk about it. He slamed the door in my face about it and wanted to push it under the rug. You are right to drop him like a hot cake. There is nothing innocent about a man cheating on his wife. I learned that it was he that had the self esteem problems, that he was just using me because he wanted his cake and eat it too. I asked him why he did this to me and our children, and the best answer he could come up with was that "it was a challenge". What a poor answer. I could have handled, I fell out of love with you better than for a challenge. He is now remarried to the last woman he cheated on me with. I tried to tell her that he will do the same to her. She didn't listen. I am remarried now several years later to a wonderful man. Life is good. 

 
May 23, 2006, 7:27 am CDT

Catcher Receiver

Cheaters never prosper. Holding on to someone that you can never trust is like holding a paperbag of items, and the bag is wet and it has a hole-you're stressing over holding onto something that is leaving a trail of problems. In other words, unreliable. Drop the bag and go on to a hefty man (or sexy woman {for the guys dating cheaters}) that takes care of you the way you like it. Let go and move on.
 
May 23, 2006, 9:09 am CDT

Insecurities Kill Relationship

A man or woman who cheats on their spouse will cheat on their replacement. 

Eliminate the cheater from the relationship. 

If there was any trust, it is gone forever and no mater what professional suggest; trust is 99.9%  impossible to rebuild.  It's like a Ming vase being knocked off a pedestal.  It's broken into hundreds of pieces.  The best reconstructionist in the world can reassemble the pieces, but the fractures will  

always remain.  It will never be "unbroken". 

  

God Bless Them. 

Diana K 

Bel Air Maryland 

  

  

 
May 23, 2006, 9:10 am CDT

Should Nicole move on?

ABSOLUTELY....Move on Nicole!  Drop that cheater and find a true love.  If he is cheating now, before you are married, when love is young and he is supposed to be just giddy in love and everything is new....imagine what will happen once you are in a home, doing day to day hum drum type of stuff that comes along with marriage and real life...If he can't stay faithful at this time...he sure won't be faithful when the going gets rough.....Dump him.....go be happy....It is out there! 
 
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