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Topic : 09/07 Cheating Fiances?

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Created on : Friday, May 19, 2006, 10:24:15 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 05/25/06) An engagement ring symbolizes a commitment you make to one special person. But Dr. Phil’s guests are accused of the ultimate betrayal: cheating on their spouse-to-be right before walking down the aisle. Melanie says she’s obsessed with catching her fiancé, Mike, in the act. She constantly checks his e-mails and even flew to another town while he was on a business trip to see if he was being unfaithful. Mike maintains his innocence and says Melanie’s prying is putting a strain on their relationship. Will Melanie’s mission backfire on her? Then, Nicole recently called off her wedding because she discovered that her fiancé, John, had sex with another woman one month before their big day. John blames his affair on “hormones” and desperately wants to reconcile. Should Nicole take him back, or cut her losses and move on? Don’t miss Dr. Phil’s seven questions you must ask to see if your cheating partner deserves a second chance!  Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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September 17, 2006, 12:03 pm CDT

09/07 Cheating Fiances?

Quote From: dorcas1

I have been married 31 years and though I don't think my husband has cheated, for several years he has requested separate bedrooms ( I didn't go for that), has asked what would it cost him to divorce me, etc. Recnetly has threatened to leave, but that is his passive aggressive personality and he won't follow through.  In answering the 7 relationship questions, he fails EVERY ONE OF THEM!  I plan to talk about divorce this weekend - there is no hope left in this relationship.  He shows no affection, support, love, wants no conversation, but he is faithful in emptying the dryer lint trap daily - that is IMPORTANT!
How sad that you wasted your life because you refused to see the signs...you poor thing.
 
September 17, 2006, 12:07 pm CDT

09/07 Cheating Fiances?

Quote From: darklore

I for one am not sure wheather or not he is cheating on me but I have my radar up. I am a 52 yr old who is engagaged to a guy who is 30 we have been dating for 5 years and within that time he has cheated on me twice. he says he loves me and wants to move on with his life and settle down  he says that what happened in the past is the past. we both go to church and are God fearing christians but in the back of my mind it will be ever present will he cheat on me again ? most people are telling me that if he is young he will cheat and that he only wants a mother figure in his life I told him that already but he says no to that as well.  I am not worried but this feeling is still going to be with me. my radar will be up  that is for sure. while we were going together within that 5 yr period I did not find out from someone else........he told me but honesty or not it was done I forgive him but should I marry this guy knowing what he did in the past.

 

 

Debbie

A wise man once said "the best predictor for future behavior is past behavior".
 
September 20, 2006, 8:37 pm CDT

Nicole

If she is stupid enough to take him back then she deserves what ever she gets and she better just suck it up and put on a happy face. If you accept being disrespected and mistreated then you dont get to whine about it. People only treat you like trash if you let them.
 
September 21, 2006, 5:28 am CDT

past fiance experience

I've been married thirty-three years. But before meeting my husband I was engaged to a young man in the navy.  He cheated constantly! And told me about it. I was seventeen and pretty dumb, starry-eyed, believed I was the one he would settle down with. I finally wised up and of course hindsight is 20/20.

But my husband once told me that if he did ever fall into an affair he would never tell me. That leaves me with a choice of either trusting him (which I do) or asking and wondering forever if I really got the right answer.
So, I make a choice as to whether to believe him or trust him. I do both. His track record is good and we're happy. But...if I started to see the signs and they were undeniable, it would be impossible for me to ignore it. He's had women friends, I've had men friends but we keep the boundaries away from getting into the emotional arena. If it looks like a duck, sounds like a duck, it's a duck, so we avoid situations where it could appear..unseemly.

I think snooping and trying to find out something is as much a problem as the actual cheating.
Who wants to live with someone who doesn't trust them. If there's a reason, you redo the history, if not, then you need to find out why.

 
September 25, 2006, 8:00 pm CDT

cheating fiances?

well   cheating  is   so wrong!  if a  man or woman can't stay with one person. then they don't need to date or get merried. until they are ready to stay with just one person.  that way no one gets hurt!  cheating   makes a person  a loser!!!!     shows they don't care for no one but them selfs and sex!!  
 
October 22, 2006, 7:11 pm CDT

Excuse me?

Quote From: katemegmom

please, we are women and there are good guys out there, kick these jokers to the curb and try again, this time without blinders on.  Dont be a sucker.
Excuse me? 
 
May 4, 2007, 1:03 pm CDT

Cheater in Oregon

Quote From: loveboduke

well   cheating  is   so wrong!  if a  man or woman can't stay with one person. then they don't need to date or get merried. until they are ready to stay with just one person.  that way no one gets hurt!  cheating   makes a person  a loser!!!!     shows they don't care for no one but them selfs and sex!!  
I was in what I believed to be a serious, monogamous relationship with a  man in Oregon about 12 years ago, and was devastated when I found out he was a pathological cheater. He was seeing about 8 other women and having unprotected sex with them, while telling me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.  How did I find out? He called someone on my phone while I was in the bathroom and hung up really quickly when I came out. After he left, I hit redial on the phone and when a woman answered I found out he was telling her the same lies. Then I went to his futon  business and while he was with a customer, I hit redial on the phone there. Happened to be another woman he was having it off  with and telling her she was the only one. Then I wrote down all the numbers of women in his "business rolodex" and called them and found even more women he was currently seeing and having unprotected sex with. One woman broke down and said that she had told him that she had already been hurt so much, she couldn't handle it if he wasn't sincere, and he had deceived her anyway.  This guy was partially paralyzed in an accident in which a sister was also killed, so he used this to his advantage to get women to feel sorry for him and to have his way with them.  I alway suspected he was coming on to his women customers, as he would do a delivery to one place and be gone for hours and hours. When pretty women customers were in his shop, he would act like he hardly knew me. One day I saw a box under his bed filled with photos of different women, he said they were all friends and pen pals.  Of course when it all came out and he couldn't lie anymore, he said he was a sex addict and had sex with hundreds of women.  Fortunately for me I found out before marrying the jerk and found a wonderful man who is totally trustworthy. We just celebrated our tenth anniversary. Unfortunately he married some poor unsuspecting woman who is probably being f-ed around on big time; hope she doesn't catch anything.
 
August 11, 2008, 10:19 am CDT

Confused and Broken

 
April 11, 2009, 2:05 pm CDT

Ridiculous

Fiance John blamed his blatant infidelity and dishonesty on HORMONES??

That is complete, total, BULLS***.

Marriage is a big deal. Getting married is one of the biggest decisions you will ever make in your life, aside from child birth/buying a home, etc. Marriage requires trust and adult-minded people who are responsible (along with a menagerie of other equally important things). Blaming infidelity on hormones is an obvious cop-out. That is NOT behavior characteristic of an adult-minded individual ready to make a life long commitment.

We have been gifted the capacity to think and make choices all our own. We are not animals, driven soley by instinct. There is no chemical or genealogical factor, ultimately driving engaged men and women to hop in bed with someone else. If he's going to try and pull an excuse from his butt as LAME as that, how many other times will his "HORMONES" become a problem in their future as a married couple?

Ditch the little boy, honey.
 
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