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Topic : 09/07 Cheating Fiances?

Number of Replies: 379
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Created on : Friday, May 19, 2006, 10:24:15 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 05/25/06) An engagement ring symbolizes a commitment you make to one special person. But Dr. Phil’s guests are accused of the ultimate betrayal: cheating on their spouse-to-be right before walking down the aisle. Melanie says she’s obsessed with catching her fiancé, Mike, in the act. She constantly checks his e-mails and even flew to another town while he was on a business trip to see if he was being unfaithful. Mike maintains his innocence and says Melanie’s prying is putting a strain on their relationship. Will Melanie’s mission backfire on her? Then, Nicole recently called off her wedding because she discovered that her fiancé, John, had sex with another woman one month before their big day. John blames his affair on “hormones” and desperately wants to reconcile. Should Nicole take him back, or cut her losses and move on? Don’t miss Dr. Phil’s seven questions you must ask to see if your cheating partner deserves a second chance!  Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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May 25, 2006, 4:06 am CDT

Can't watch

Can't watch the show today due to a kindergarten graduation; however, I want my opinion known... 

  

ANY PERSON (man or woman) who is willing to marry a person who cheated while dating (which is supposed to be the happiest time for a couple), is a FOOL if s/he marries that person!!! 

  

If someone chooses to be unloyal during courtship, s/he will definitely choose the same path when things get rough (or even just boring) during marriage. 

  

Don't be a fool. There are many decent men out there. I've had mine for 16+ years and he's a wonderfully honest family man who always puts his family first....after God. We women need to stop SETTLING for any breathing male!!! We CAN be alone (surrounded by family, friends, activities, church, etc) and we CAN have a great life.  

 
May 25, 2006, 6:23 am CDT

It was not meant to be.

Quote From: fordman350

 if someone has to cheat then to me it was never meant to be anyway! plain and simple!

If there ever was a deal breaker this is it.He idoes not deserve you.It was never meant to be.  

 
May 25, 2006, 6:26 am CDT

05/25 Cheating Fiancés

Quote From: luvnlyfdk1

A man or woman who cheats on their spouse will cheat on their replacement. 

Eliminate the cheater from the relationship. 

If there was any trust, it is gone forever and no mater what professional suggest; trust is 99.9%  impossible to rebuild.  It's like a Ming vase being knocked off a pedestal.  It's broken into hundreds of pieces.  The best reconstructionist in the world can reassemble the pieces, but the fractures will  

always remain.  It will never be "unbroken". 

  

God Bless Them. 

Diana K 

Bel Air Maryland 

  

  

"replacement" I love it! 

 
May 25, 2006, 6:28 am CDT

fruitless - move on

Quote From: flthomcat

Can't watch the show today due to a kindergarten graduation; however, I want my opinion known... 

  

ANY PERSON (man or woman) who is willing to marry a person who cheated while dating (which is supposed to be the happiest time for a couple), is a FOOL if s/he marries that person!!! 

  

If someone chooses to be unloyal during courtship, s/he will definitely choose the same path when things get rough (or even just boring) during marriage. 

  

Don't be a fool. There are many decent men out there. I've had mine for 16+ years and he's a wonderfully honest family man who always puts his family first....after God. We women need to stop SETTLING for any breathing male!!! We CAN be alone (surrounded by family, friends, activities, church, etc) and we CAN have a great life.  

this show segment is as fruitless as the issue these two have, god bless them, good allegory Dr. Phil.....move  on , folks, pundits included
 
May 25, 2006, 7:19 am CDT

mike and melanie need to throw in the towel

wow!!!!!  its not goin to work thears not 1 ounce of commintment or trust thear
 
May 25, 2006, 7:33 am CDT

Cheating

I think that if they will cheat on you  before you are married they will cheat on you after your married. If  you are already married and they cheat  then you are better off without them. I have been married for 15 years and I treat my wife like she deserves to be treated like the love of my life and my best friend in the whole world. I think that above all else you should be faithful to you spouse or significant other at all times. If you are having feelings that can't be resolved between the two of you then get help from a qualified professional like Dr. Phil or someone in your home town but  there is never a good excuse for cheating and if you'll cheat once you'll do it again. That is how I feel about it. If there are kids involved you owe it to those children to try and work it out but I think cheating is a number one deal breaker and that you can do better for your self you don't need to settle for someone who is going to treat  you like that. There are still good men out there so don't settle for a cheater!
 
May 25, 2006, 8:00 am CDT

I am the cheater... and I'm female.

You can love someone with all your heart and have this happen.  My bf (we are not engaged - but plan to be at some stage) was overseas for work for 4 months, and I slept with someone else.  I told him - I had to.  As much as people won't belive this, I didn't want it to happen, but I let it happen (weak, I know).  I was drunk, had been working hard to lose weight (to amaze my bf when we finally saw one another) and was liking the attention I was getting from the person (a cute, dr, well liked etc).  I let the situation go where it shouldn't have.  Even at the time I didn't want to continue and tried to stop, but he went ahead.  I can't use the "r" word because I put myself in his bed....   

   

I've tried and tried to work out why I did it (to make sure it doesn't happen again) and I think it boils down to: I was insecure.  I was expecting to be engaged before he left for overseas, it didn't happen (nb I'm in no way blaming him for what I did), it was just one of the reasons I was insecure.  Anyway, it kills me that I did it.  We are together still, and happy still (but still not engaged).  He hasn't said he's forgiven me - he doesn't ever want to talk about it.  And I know before we do get married, we will need help working through this further.  I want him to be able to trust me.  I want to be able to trust myself.  I coulndn't stand the thought of being at the alter thinking "does he trust me with all his heart?"  

   

Anyway, just to show another side of the story... it's not always the men who are the cheaters.  

 
May 25, 2006, 8:05 am CDT

MIXED EMOTIONS

This is such a delicate situation!  I'm not going to say that you shoudn't get married at all..what I'm going to say is that you should at least postpone the wedding!  Jumping into a marriage with this hanging over your head wouldn't be the best choice right now.  Your fiance has committed the unltimate betrayal and both of you need to sit down and see if getting married now, knowing what has transpired is the right choice!   

  

What I would suggest to both of you is to seek individual and couple counselling!  Come to terms with what has happened and see if this is something that you really want to do.  If you jump into this marriage without any further guidance or help, this marriage is bound to fail!    

  

I know first hand about infidelity in a relationship!  My husband, who I have been with for almost 8 years, married for 2 of those was cheating on me with one of his co-workers!  Something like this takes a toll on you emotionally and eventually physically!  Although we are still together and are working on our marriage, my husband realizes that at the moment trust is a major issue, as he has lost some of the trust I had in him!  In order for him to regain my trust, it is a work in progress, but we are trying to get there!  

  

With that said, get your life together and figure out if he is really the man that you want to spend the REST OF YOU LIFE with! Will you be able to trust him again and put this behind you?   

 
May 25, 2006, 8:06 am CDT

thank you dr phil

your 100% correct with nicole it truley dose take a real man to go on national telivision and admit he did wrong,  well said, her husband to be looked like he relly loves her, and she needs to forgive him for doin something stupid, we all do stupid things al 1 time or another, i know i do im sure as heack not anywhear near perfict, we all have some kind of flaws, but he did step up and own up to his mistake,  that took real guts to do that (nicole hes worth a second chance)!!!!!!!
 
May 25, 2006, 8:15 am CDT

in reading this message board i can see alot of unforgiving hearts

what every one needs to remember in order for jesus to forgive us for our sins we must be able to forgive others for what they do to us,
 
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