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Topic : 09/07 Cheating Fiances?

Number of Replies: 379
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, May 19, 2006, 10:24:15 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 05/25/06) An engagement ring symbolizes a commitment you make to one special person. But Dr. Phil’s guests are accused of the ultimate betrayal: cheating on their spouse-to-be right before walking down the aisle. Melanie says she’s obsessed with catching her fiancé, Mike, in the act. She constantly checks his e-mails and even flew to another town while he was on a business trip to see if he was being unfaithful. Mike maintains his innocence and says Melanie’s prying is putting a strain on their relationship. Will Melanie’s mission backfire on her? Then, Nicole recently called off her wedding because she discovered that her fiancé, John, had sex with another woman one month before their big day. John blames his affair on “hormones” and desperately wants to reconcile. Should Nicole take him back, or cut her losses and move on? Don’t miss Dr. Phil’s seven questions you must ask to see if your cheating partner deserves a second chance!  Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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May 20, 2006, 8:59 am CDT

Don't marry him

If he is cheating now he will cheat after marriage.  You deserve someone who will be faithful before and after marriage. 
 
May 20, 2006, 1:56 pm CDT

My Fiance is a Stalker

Well let's just say I know a little something about cheating Fiances. What I've learned is this. There IS a reason for the behavior. Be it they experienced it firsthand as a child growing up seeing their own parents struggle with infedelity, or their own personal insecurities which drives them for that extra sense of acceptance and love from another (or several other) people. Sometimes though people are just not ready to settle down and naturally crave the attention and so it really ISN'T a good idea to be committed to anyone.  

  

I'm not saying the behavior is excusable AT ALL. I'm just saying in some cases I do believe it is forgivable in some cases, and if the person gets the issue that drives them resolved, I believe the risk of it ever happening again diminishes. SOMETHING causes people to cheat. SOMETHING is driving a person who is intentionally doing something they know is wrong and unhealthy to their relationship. I have faith in this Dr. Phil episode... he'll get to the bottom of things. He always does and I can sure say he did for Ken and I! 

 
May 22, 2006, 8:38 am CDT

keep investigating

I've been through this hell before in my 2nd marriage and it's a miserable life. Your never sure where he is and you lose your life tring to figure out what he's doing. You get consumed with the lies and you will never trust him and that ruins your relatioship. I'm also in a 8 yr relationship that I thought I could trust, but it seems men can't be happy with one partner.
 
May 22, 2006, 9:00 am CDT

Cheating is not necessarily a deal breaker

Quote From: ken_amber

Well let's just say I know a little something about cheating Fiances. What I've learned is this. There IS a reason for the behavior. Be it they experienced it firsthand as a child growing up seeing their own parents struggle with infedelity, or their own personal insecurities which drives them for that extra sense of acceptance and love from another (or several other) people. Sometimes though people are just not ready to settle down and naturally crave the attention and so it really ISN'T a good idea to be committed to anyone.  

  

I'm not saying the behavior is excusable AT ALL. I'm just saying in some cases I do believe it is forgivable in some cases, and if the person gets the issue that drives them resolved, I believe the risk of it ever happening again diminishes. SOMETHING causes people to cheat. SOMETHING is driving a person who is intentionally doing something they know is wrong and unhealthy to their relationship. I have faith in this Dr. Phil episode... he'll get to the bottom of things. He always does and I can sure say he did for Ken and I! 

I totally agree with you Amber.   

  

Cheating is not acceptable at all, like you said, but when it happens it is usually a symptom of a much bigger problem that the cheater needs to get to the bottom of.  Too many spouses kick their mates to curb before at least trying to make some sense of why this happened to them.  

  

Of course, if the cheater won't even admit there is a problem and wants to just keep doing what they've been doing, then there really is no way to save the relationship, in my opinion.  But, when the cheater expresses remorse and is really willing to do the work to figure out why they have made the choices they have, then a marriage or relationship can definately be saved.  It takes a lot of work on the part of both people in the relationship but hey, anything worth having is worth working for, right? 

 
May 22, 2006, 12:35 pm CDT

Your partner was unfaithful. Should you get Married?

NO! 

  

 

 

  

 

There is really nothing more to say on this one.  Next?

  

 

  

 
May 22, 2006, 3:55 pm CDT

Absolutely not

Quote From: lh2000

NO! 

  

 

 

  

 

There is really nothing more to say on this one.  Next?

  

 

  

 If he could do it once, he will do it again. 

When you love someone, you do not want anyone else, you remain faithful.

Louise
 
May 22, 2006, 7:38 pm CDT

Cheating should not be forgotten

           I have recently gotten engaged, and i don't think it would be right if my Fiance cheated on me, and blamed his hormones. I wouldn't forogive him because he made a commitment to me such as i did. I really believe that Nicole shouldn't forgive John.  

 

And Melanie needs to stop checking up on her Fiance because all she is going to do is drive him insane and make him actually cheat on her, and worse call the whole wedding off 

 
May 22, 2006, 7:39 pm CDT

05/25 Cheating Fiancés

Quote From: lh2000

NO! 

  

 

 

  

 

There is really nothing more to say on this one.  Next?

  

 

  

                          NO I WOULDN'T 

 
May 22, 2006, 8:01 pm CDT

Been There Recently

Quote From: mmbbsmom

I've been through this hell before in my 2nd marriage and it's a miserable life. Your never sure where he is and you lose your life tring to figure out what he's doing. You get consumed with the lies and you will never trust him and that ruins your relatioship. I'm also in a 8 yr relationship that I thought I could trust, but it seems men can't be happy with one partner.
I found out on Valentine's Day that my husband of 12 years was having an affair. According to the other woman, he had been calling her and e-mailing her for almost 7 years. I feel like most of my marriage was a sham, like I am married to a stranger, and like I don't know what to expect from him next. Two weeks after I found out he was cheating, he received an e-mail from his old high school girlfriend. He gaver her his cell number and was telling her when it was a good time to call him, which she was doing. She lives out of state, but so did the other girl. He says they were just talking and catching up and he didn't tell me because it wasn't the "right time" and he knew I'd be mad. He's right, I was mad. Mad that he didn't tell me if it was so "innocent", mad that he bares his soul to other women and not his wife, mad that he puts what he wants before everyone else, mad that he's so secretive and mad that he put me through this! What am I supposed to be? Trusting? Supportive? Forgiving? Of course, he wants to work it out and doesn't want to lose his family. He even told the old high school girlfriend that he made a mistake he was trying to correct. Again, not honest. His trying to correct is not going to the marriage counselor for 2 months so we don't have to rehash it, not talking about it, getting angry if I do talk about it, bullying me into staying quiet, and generally acting as if it didn't happen.  If I knew before I married him what I know now, you can bet I'd have dropped him like a hot cake.
 
May 22, 2006, 8:15 pm CDT

cheating

Quote From: noemi818

                          NO I WOULDN'T 

Drop him fast. You don't deserve that.
 
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