Topic : 05/26 Summer Slim

I was so excited to see the show the other day. It came just in time. I have been overweight for a number of years now, I call it obese. Harsh yes, but true. I started taking Karate last September. It was a tough and overall excellent workout,  but easy enough on my knees. This was twice a week. I was a bit embarrassed, I looked like the Pillsbury Dough Boy in the karate uniform, but I stuck to it. I was motivated to work on my weight and to really finally do something about it. I've been losing inches and the weight is coming off slowly due to a very underactive thyroid. But I have a very long way to go and I am still motivated.  I have added in working on a treadmill 3 times a week. I gave myself a physical challenge to see how much I could actually do, push ups, crunches, walking miles, eating good etc. and I've been doing pretty good with it. Over the Christmas holidays I went through a hard time, problems with my older daughter.  I couldn't take being way up and then being at rock bottom. I made up my mind and as hard as it was, I had to divorce myself from the situation. This has helped. I now have the words "Just Do It" all around my cubicle at work as a reminder to me and on my cell phone I have a banner that reads "Just Do It for You". I'm going to do it this time.    

But a few days ago I hit a slump. My husband who has been supportive, made the remark "You're not going to wear your hair like that are you"?  He said it made my face and neck look fatter. My comments back, Just because I'm fat doesn't mean I can't wear my hair so I feel cooler (temperature wise it's been around 90 degrees). He had no comment. But that got me thinking why do I even try. Then I saw Dr. Phil's show on the summer slim down. It was just what I needed and at the right time. He has a way of turning my negative thinking around and keeping motivated.    

For those of us who are going to do this summer slim down just think  We can do this and we are going to do this for ourselves. Remember Just Do It and Do it for You. For those of you who are just thinking about possibly doing the summer slim down, join in we can all do this together.   

I sound like a cheerleader, I'm not, I just am tired of being fat and want to be thin for ME.   

Julie,

When I saw the show last Friday with you and your husband, I felt compelled to write to you. Your story touched me on such a deeply personal level, I cried. Julie, I have been in your shoes. I have struggled with being overweight my entire life, enduring the torture by kids in school, the verbal and emotional abuse at home, the rejection, humiliation, and devastation to my self-esteem in my relationships.

In 1995, I was at was I thought was, a turning point in my life. I had quit my job of 15 years to take another one, I had ended a relationship, and decided it was time to take care of me. My weight was at an all time high. I took a job at a hospital where I had access to the gym. I began to slowly change my diet, and started to exercise. I lost 38 pounds in the first 3 months. A short time later, I met a man much like your husband. He made sure I knew I was the complete opposite of what he was attracted to. To sum up what happened, I was a complete fool and tried to please this man. I lost 80+ pounds and was the thinnest I had ever been since I was 7 years old. I felt good, had endless energy, and everyone was telling me how good I looked, except him. Unfortunately, even with all the people I had telling me how good I looked, his lack of approval is what I focused on.

Over time, I gave up and gained the weight back. As I sit here today and reflect, I learned a valuable, but hard lesson. You see, toward the end of my weight loss, I was so desperate to lose more to please him, I was starving myself, sometimes only consuming 500 calories a day, and taking diuretics. I see a lot of things I did wrong, and now 11 years later am struggling to find the motivation to start all over again. It is more important now than ever for me to get healthy – I am 43 now, and I have watched my older sister deteriorate from diabetes. She is legally blind, has too many physical ailments to list, is in stage 4 renal failure and on dialysis 3 times a week, and is in a nursing home at age 60. I thought for sure seeing her where she is would be enough, but I think my self-esteem and self worth have suffered so much I don’t believe I can do it again or that I’m worth it.

I am beginning the painful process of going back to my childhood and identifying the reasons that have brought me to where I am today and try to heal them so I can be successful once and for all. It all started in my early childhood, and continues to affect the decisions I make even today, including allowing people into my life that treat me the same way I was treated as a child, and worse. It is a painful but necessary process, one that I may not be able to accomplish on my own.

Julie, I hope and pray you don’t lose sight of where you were and how far you’ve come. You’ve lost an entire person! If you don’t lose another pound and you are happy with the way you are, which you said in your taped piece you were, stay that way! Please, please, please do NOT let anyone, especially your husband, destroy your self-esteem – it is one of the most effective triggers to send you back into a downward spiral of weight gain. I know all too well the man your husband is – I live with one just like him. After years of feeling inadequate and unattractive, I now realize it isn’t me, it’s HIM. I can’t stress this enough – IT’S HIS PROBLEM. Your husband has low self-esteem, and the only way he can feel better is by belittling you. Forgive me, but your husband is in love with an image. He didn’t marry a thin woman who never had a weight problem, who, after losing an entire person, has sagging skin, stretch marks and cellulite. You should NEVER have had to have a tummy tuck so he would feel better about being intimate with you. I can guarantee, because I’ve been there, that if you lose that 25 pounds he’s complaining about, he still will not be happy with you and will find something else to bully you about, most likely the sagging skin because he mentioned it in his taped piece.

Julie, no matter what measure you have to take, save yourself, no matter what it takes. You are a beautiful, kind, sweet person with the courage and conviction many of us wish we had. You are an inspiration to me and I’m sure to countless more women who’s story you told that day you were on the show.

From the bottom of my heart I wish you success and above all, happiness in your journey. God bless.

One thing I've discovered is that when I'm on track, all sorts of stuff comes along to help me move forward.  When I fight, then I lose cause I end up spending so much time and energy on something that wasn't right to begin with. 

I discovered Dr. Phil back in 2003 and learned that whatever show I managed to catch (I usually worked until 6 p.m.), they always seemed to have a special message to help me move forward! 

Good work on doing the karate and treadmill.  I'm right now focused on working out in my yard. It went wild over the 8 years I've lived here and now I'm working on making it liveable once again. I even want to plant a tomato plant or two!