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Topic : *Dr. Phil Prime Time Special: Escaping Addiction, Part 2

Number of Replies: 169
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Created on : Friday, May 19, 2006, 04:00:50 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Wednesday, May 24 at 8 p.m. (ET/PT) only on CBS


It's an epidemic that is out of control. This year, Americans will spend more than $90,000,000,000 on beer, wine and spirits. Jake and Shellye know firsthand about alcohol addiction. This suburban couple seems to have it all, but they're hiding a dangerous secret. Their excessive drinking threatens to cause serious harm to them and their children. Jake is a heavy drinker who has abused Shellye both physically and emotionally. Dr. Phil stages an intervention with the couple, who confess to risky behavior while under the influence. Will they take his help before it's too late? This important prime time special airs at 8 p.m. (ET/ PT) on CBS.

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May 22, 2006, 6:37 pm CDT

Save yourself!

Quote From: linderk

I am so sorry that you have to be put through this. Your step son is out of control, there are always people to save him, and if he does not get help, it will be too late. It is a filthy disease, sometimes inherited, the traits anyway, and the victims are so very sick. I feel it is one step from death. You are in such a difficult position, having to make a choice between your partner and his son. That is a terrible place to be. Sometimes a father cannot chose to lose his son, it is not because he does not love you, do not think that. There is just no way to chose to lose a son, although the son is lost already. As alcoholics, we choose the path of death and destruction, or the path of life. When we are in that depth of hell, we do not know the choice and are not able to make it on our own. I had to hit the bottom, and boy do I mean bottom. Your step son has not hit the bottom because he is always given a place to fall. Some day there will be no place to fall. Bottom is the END. The only way is UP . LInda.
 I can relate to this as my own husband could not - would not own up to his son's destructive behaviors. First of all you need to know that his attitudes is not about his son - its all about him. My husband could not for the longest time could not see how he was actually encouraging our son's addiction (example: a few short weeks ater rehab he purchased his 17 year old son a bottle of volka). My husband would blame me for our son's out of control behavior.My son would try and kill me and my husband would say things like I egged him on. I'm surprised I am still married. Our youngest son(who was a small baby when his 15 year old brother was going bizerk) after wittnessing years of his older brother's nuttiness and voilence suffered Post tramatic Stress Disorder. We thought for a long while he was autistic but is slowly recovering - Thank God.  I can't tell you how many years of craziness the whole family went through because my husband wouldn't respond or let anyone else respond to our son's voilence and abuse. Our son moved back into the house(we thought he had been sober two years at the time) just about a month before he overdosed on herion in our bathroom. The family was going to sit down to dinner and started without him. I found him in the bathroom after what seemed a long time. He died April 28th of last year and I'm not glad he's dead but for the first time in years we have peace real peace again in our home. My marriage is better and my relationship with my other two sons is much much better. My advice is to save yourself. An addict is like a drowning man - they will pull down everyone around them. My son is probably dead because he was so smart and goodlooking - the world couldn't believe what was so evident. He might be alive today if we all would have made him accountable.
Ada.
 
May 22, 2006, 7:40 pm CDT

facts

did you know that 10% of the population (alcoholics) consume 90% of the alcohol in this country?  amazing, huh?
 
May 22, 2006, 8:20 pm CDT

*Dr. Phil Prime Time Special: Escaping Addiction, Part 2

Quote From: tracyposey

I am the wife of a man addicted to alcohol and cigarettes.  He must have a cigarette in his hand or mouth at all times and an open beer hidden not far away.  He says he wants to quit but that it is a habit.  He has been detoxited once due to illness and once with the help of a doctor giving him meds to kill the shakes.  It did not work because he started again saying he enjoys the taste.  On the weekend the first thing I hear is the popping of a beer can in the morning and usually by noon he is out for the rest of the day.  On weekdays as soon as he gets off work he starts drinking.  He comes home long enough to check in and is then off on what he calls a side job (either a quick way to buy a six pack or to a friends house for free beer).  This is destroying the family especially my daughter age 12.  She has never had a birthday party because our place is to small but mainly because she is afraid of her father embarrassing her.  He has done this several times in front of her best friend.  She doesn't want any of her other friends to see his behavior.    

I am a teachers aide and do not make enough money by myself to leave him.  I am going back to college to get my BA in computers to try and become a computer teacher so that we can move out but I am 2yrs. from that.    

I wish there was something I could do to help my husband get clean permanently before my daughter is permanently harmed.  The other night he came home so drunk he passed out in the car in the driveway.  The car was still running when I went outside to see why he had not come in.  I turned off the car and found that the car was still in gear.  Had his foot slipped off the break he would have taken out the ramp to the trailer and who knows what other damage.  We were lucky I went outside to check on him.  To ease all reading this mind I never let my daughter ride with him and I am the only one who drives her anywhere.  There were a couple times in the past he drove but his alcoholism was not as bad as it is now.  

My husband has reached the point of being sick when he does not get a beer and is sick just about every morning.  He wants my daughter and I to feel sorry for him but we can't because we are too fed up with the lies that come with alcoholism. 

I alcoholism a disease, illness, addiction, or habit?????????  How do I help him overcome this or is there no hope and my daughter and I should move on??????? 

  

I know how u feel mine is too now its drugs along with it and when he doen't have money for it its my fauilt he's behind on bills hesays he leaving and my plans for him to leave its got out of hand and I have to choose for him to leave not happy about it but i'm tried of the abuse
 
May 22, 2006, 8:29 pm CDT

*Dr. Phil Prime Time Special: Escaping Addiction, Part 2

Quote From: janet123

did you know that 10% of the population (alcoholics) consume 90% of the alcohol in this country?  amazing, huh?
Who does the other 10% ?
 
May 22, 2006, 8:31 pm CDT

One day at a time.

Alcohol is cunning-baffeling-powerful-destructive. 

  

For those wanting to quit. 

  

#1.Admit you have a problem. 

  

#2.Seek help:Detox and rehab to dry out under medical supervision. 

  

#3.Try God in Christ He can and will set you free. 

  

#4.Change your playmates and play-pens. 

  

#5.Get in a good Bible believing Church.Independent Fundamental Baptist that preaches from the AV 1611 King James Bible. 

  

#6.Pray several times daily and have quite time.Book suggestion:God is for the Alcoholic by Former Alcoholic Jerry Dunn. 

  

#7.If need be also attend Alcoholics Anonymous advice is 90 meetings in 90 days. 

  

Try online support: www.aaonline.net chat board. 

  

When wanting a drink eat something naturally sweet as apples or bannas or if you can a candy bar and cold soda.Watch junk food also. 

  

God bless you all. 

  

Jesus loves you. 

  

Steven. 

 
May 22, 2006, 8:52 pm CDT

This is an illness!

 

TO: Everyone who feels helpless,  

  

I am 33 years old and was addicted to opiate pain killers since age 25. I take full responsibility for hurting the people I love in my life. I was sick.  I went through 5 rehabs. It doesn't work because I believe it is treating the symptom of an underlying problem or psychological illness  that has to be treated. This is my belief. I was finally seen by the only doctor out of at least 30 that spent enough time with me to take the time to assess me as a unique individual thoroughly and completely. Since treated I have not had one craving.   

  

I am not saying this is the case with everyone or that it is a fact. I am just saying find a psychiatrist or medical doctor that is eager and open to possibilities and unique individual treatement.  Before trying another rehab that is just extra suffering time for the addicted and loved ones around them. It is worth it to try something different. I am proof! I have not had one craving since my first appointment a year ago. I would go into more detail about what I was diagnosed with but am afraid to have people use this as an excuse when it is not the case for them. I don't want to hurt anyone. And either way addiction needs to be dealt with. Rehab Facilities are great places for treatement but also take you away to a safe place away from your life for a short time.  Basically I just wanted to put out my opinion and hope maybe a simple different approach digging deeper than just the addiction itself will help someone to get better. One appointment saved my life. I know I would be dead.  Just  try a different approach if rehab is not working. Focus should be what could you be "self-medicating" for?   

  

Thanks,  

Nicole  

 
May 22, 2006, 9:06 pm CDT

Daughter dying

 I am so close to all of your stories.  Except mine is from a mom's point of view.  I have a 34 year old daughter who has been drinking since she was 15  .  I found out  that she smuggled beer into high school.  At graduation she weighed 195 pounds, and was made fun of.  Oh....., she also has an ongoing eating disorder.  I've watched her destroy 2 marriages, and 1 child by each marriage.  Her oldest son is in state custody, because he has made bad choices, and her daughter lives with his dad.  I've seen her get down to 85 pounds, and not eat but she sure does drink.  Last year - Feb & Mar, she was hospitalized for alcoholism, and told that if she continued to drink, her liver would be destroyed.  In the March hospitalization, she had ascites in her abdomen, and had to have it drained.  She then went into shock from her high ammonia levels, and had a mini stroke, and has some lasting dementia.  The doctors told me that it didn't look good for her.  She was transferred to a care center to address her cirrhosis, and alcohol induced hepatitis, and eating disorder.  She was there until Feb. 1st of this year, and finally got out and into her own apartment.  She started drinking again from day  1, but didn't let on to us at that she was at it again.  I thought that I had a chance of getting my little girl back, but alas!,  It's hard watching her kill herself.  They only think that their drinking only effects just them, no one else---  A waiting mom
 
May 22, 2006, 10:49 pm CDT

Politically correct ???

As much as people are making a stink about cigerette smoking and banning doing so in publice due to the hazard it causes to non-smokers. (which I am in agreement with) even though the act of smoking is not illegal it is not accepted anymore.  Corporations are asking for non-smokers to apply, will not let you smoke on property, if you come to work smelling of smoke in some places you can be sent home.... So why is driniking in excess or binging not being taken seriously????  

  

Is it because the powers that be, judges, social workers, lawyers, all have social drinking issues and do not want to clean out there own closets for fear of having to deal with issues?  I can not tell you how many children I have seen go back to biological parents who are alcoholics and the experts implore the judges that the child is suffering and has all the typical issues of a child being raised in this envoirnment that go home and no rehabilitation is given or ordered for the parents....   

  

WHAT ARE WE DOING TO OUR CHILDREN?  

  

jdd208  

 
May 22, 2006, 10:52 pm CDT

*Dr. Phil Prime Time Special: Escaping Addiction, Part 2

Quote From: judith1219

 I am so close to all of your stories.  Except mine is from a mom's point of view.  I have a 34 year old daughter who has been drinking since she was 15  .  I found out  that she smuggled beer into high school.  At graduation she weighed 195 pounds, and was made fun of.  Oh....., she also has an ongoing eating disorder.  I've watched her destroy 2 marriages, and 1 child by each marriage.  Her oldest son is in state custody, because he has made bad choices, and her daughter lives with his dad.  I've seen her get down to 85 pounds, and not eat but she sure does drink.  Last year - Feb & Mar, she was hospitalized for alcoholism, and told that if she continued to drink, her liver would be destroyed.  In the March hospitalization, she had ascites in her abdomen, and had to have it drained.  She then went into shock from her high ammonia levels, and had a mini stroke, and has some lasting dementia.  The doctors told me that it didn't look good for her.  She was transferred to a care center to address her cirrhosis, and alcohol induced hepatitis, and eating disorder.  She was there until Feb. 1st of this year, and finally got out and into her own apartment.  She started drinking again from day  1, but didn't let on to us at that she was at it again.  I thought that I had a chance of getting my little girl back, but alas!,  It's hard watching her kill herself.  They only think that their drinking only effects just them, no one else---  A waiting mom

A waiting mom-- 

  

My heart goes out to you and your daughter, maybe she need to be court ordered my 2 relatives and reccommended to be in assisted living where she is monitored.  This means she will be deemed unable to make decisions for herself but with a diagnosis of dementia, I think you would have a shot.... 

  

Just a thought and I hope your prayers are answered. 

  

jdd208 

 
May 23, 2006, 12:52 am CDT

REHAB

having been through rehab, successfully, I, cannot imagine this young man (step-son) going through this 6 times.  It is the most humiliating experience one can endure one time.  If he has not learned his lession by now, being honest, I, do not know where the answer lies.  Yes his father is at fault to some degree, no tough love there, but to be that far gone as this guy is would think the authorites could take over since he is a threat to him-self.  straight jacket time.   

  

P.S.  have just passed by 16th AA Birthday.     

  

Sincerely, 

  

Jack 
   

 
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