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Topic : *Dr. Phil Prime Time Special: Escaping Addiction, Part 2

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Created on : Friday, May 19, 2006, 04:00:50 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Wednesday, May 24 at 8 p.m. (ET/PT) only on CBS


It's an epidemic that is out of control. This year, Americans will spend more than $90,000,000,000 on beer, wine and spirits. Jake and Shellye know firsthand about alcohol addiction. This suburban couple seems to have it all, but they're hiding a dangerous secret. Their excessive drinking threatens to cause serious harm to them and their children. Jake is a heavy drinker who has abused Shellye both physically and emotionally. Dr. Phil stages an intervention with the couple, who confess to risky behavior while under the influence. Will they take his help before it's too late? This important prime time special airs at 8 p.m. (ET/ PT) on CBS.

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May 25, 2006, 9:30 am PDT

I too know the pain

I can relate to the couple on the show. I have been going round and round in this cycle of addiction and most recently took my self down once again just 3 days ago. I am a mother of a beautiful daughter and have no right to put her through this junk ! My fiance and I both drink and have since the day we met. We met when I was 18 and I am now 30. It is time to stop this cycle. I cant do it alone tho, I need him to stop with me. I have started counseling( only a few sessions so far) but will continue to go. And hopefully I can beat this beast. I realize I drink to cover my emotional issues(depression?)  I pray we can beat this and be the best parents we can for our daughter. She deserves SO much more than we have given her. Its great that Dr. Phil has done this show, I needed to see that! My prayers to all who are going through this battle.          Thnx, DMO  

 
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May 25, 2006, 9:43 am PDT

*Dr. Phil Prime Time Special: Escaping Addiction, Part 2

Quote From: prschuster

  

  

I have battled alcoholism for many years as well. I have been through two rehabs and hundreds of AA meetings. Hpwever, I found it more helpful to view addiction as a lifestyle choice than as a disease. Once I could own up to the fact that I chose to go down that path, I could just as easily realize that I had the ability to make better choices. It never did sit well with me to see myself as being compelled against my will.  That would have been an easy excuse for relapsing. I believe, that with a little bit of support and a lot of soul searching, a person can learn to stand on their own two feet. Anyway, that's what worked for me. This approach has kept me sober for the last ten years. 

congratulations, prschuster!  You are courageous and a forever-winner for acknowledging that alcoholism is a lifestyle choice; that you are not a victim.  Anything I can ever do to encourage you, I'm here for ya.  Every single person has weakness, it is part of what makes us human.  You have stepped up to the plate and batted a grand slam celebration by turning your  weakness into self-knowledge strength.  Whea-HOOO!!! 
 
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May 25, 2006, 9:44 am PDT

The Indian

Quote From: the_indian

Hi Sully!  A lot of your story is similar to mine.  I grew up with 2 alcoholic parents and ended up as a raging acloholic myself.  After 2 rehabs, I now have 15 years of sobriety. 

  

I do want to both congratulate you on your decision and also to offer a word of caution.   

  

You say you quit drinking before when you were pregnant, so you have put together months of clean time in the past.  And if you say it feels different this time, who am I to say otherwise? 

  

What concerns me, though, is that you seem to be putting your struggle with alcohol in the past tense.  You made a decision and you "did" it.  It "worked" for you.   

  

I note this only because I, too, went through similar thought processes, and even put together 3 years of clean time at one point!  But the problem was that I didn't realize that recovery is a process, not an event.  And I also didn't realize that I had to change certain things within myself, or I was going to keep using and drinking. 

  

Like a lot of people, I finally figured this out with the support and help of rehab and AA.  I'd never say that's the only way, but I also  have to admit that there were lots of people in those rooms, including myself, who had tried to get and stay sober using other methods and we finally realized we couldn't do it on our own. 

  

It might be something to think about if you find yourself craving alcohol or even drinking again.  Like they say, this disease is very cunning and baffling at times.    

  

  

Hi! I appreciate your words, especially coming from someone with 15 years of sobriety, that's impressive. 

  

I do realize that it is an ongoing process, the key for me is knowing I cannot ever drink again, ever, not even a sip. Like I said, I tried to cut down last year, and was completely unsuccessful because I didn't get the magnitude of my problem and or refused to. I guess I use the past tense because I see two souls, the one who was a drunk, and the one that is clean and the person the Lord wants her to be. My faith has been instrumental in staying away from alcohol. All those years of drinking, I always felt so guilty because I knew it wasn't right. I guess I have a conscience the size of Texas, because it feels so awesome to be rid of that guilt! 

  

I also can't say why it's been so easy for me. I see people on boards, like MSN's Women for Sobriety, and so many of them are struggling terribly to stay away from it. I feel for them. I can honestly say I would no more pick up a beer than stick my hand in a pot of boiling water. It's just no longer an option. And I never blamed anyone but myself for my problem with alcohol, I am responsible for what I do, me and me alone. That's another key, not playing the "victim". 

  

I agree that AA is a wonderful program for alcoholics, and would never say anything against it. It's there if you need it. 

  

Although health problems are the main reason I decided to quit, I have reaped so many other benefits I just cannot see me going back to it.  Incentive.  And above all, faith in the Lord, I give Him the glory for my change, if you repent and ask for help, he gives you strength that is unmatched by anything of this world. You have to want it and you have to work for it, but He has proven that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me".  

  

I guess some with more experience may think I'm a newbie and don't get it, but for me I think I do. I agree 100% that it is an ongoing road, but it's what you make of it. I can either spend my time saying, "oh, poor me, I can never drink again", or saying "oh, lucky me, I don't drink anymore".   

  

Thank you for your words, I do agree with you. Congratulations on your sobriety, it is very impressive. 

  

-Sully 

  

 
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May 25, 2006, 10:13 am PDT

*Dr. Phil Prime Time Special: Escaping Addiction, Part 2

Quote From: princess1

I admire the way Dr Phil makes people take resopnisbility, but there is a major flaw with the whole rehab system.  First off, you are treating a person for a few weeks for a problem that it took a lifetime to develop.  Next when you get out of rehab, you go back into the exact same situation you came out of.  It is easy to work the program when you are in the safe confines of the rehab, but when you are back in the real world everything changes.  The worst problem is how so many people keep telling the addicts they have an illness.  That is such a load of crap,  An illness is not somthing you choose to contract., taking that drink or whatever your drug of preference is is a CHOICE!!!!    You don't choose to get cancer, you do choose to pick up that beer and drink it.  It is all about personal responsibility.  And yes I do know what I am talking about, because every day I wake up I choose not to drink alchohol or take drugs; I also see family members who have made the choices to drink and drug.

great post,  Princess.   

  

sincerely,  watcohcbrn 

 
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May 25, 2006, 10:33 am PDT

Been there

Quote From: stewartgo

Hi Everyone,   

   

I am a 40 year old mom of three great kids, and I feel I am in a fight for my life!  I have been married for 17 years, and just adore me kids.  I suffer from depression.  And, have been caught in the horrible web of alcoholism.  I recently went away to a recovery program for 28 days, and felt so great when I completed the program.  I felt happy and strong and like myself again....and then boom!  I had a relaspe!  And another, and then I go for a week or two, and boom it happens again.  Right now, I am at my lowest point emotionally.  I don't want to live like this.  I hate that beer, and what it does to me.  I have decided to pick up the and continue my fight against this horrible battle.  Please keep me and my family in your prayers.    

   

Sincerely,   

   

A Mom Fighting for Her Life!  

I have been through this and I know that it can seem like you can't overcome it. I did and I am so proud to be the person that I am today. My life was a mess and I blamed it all on everything that happened to me in the past - being raised by an abusive alcoholic father, being emotionally, physically and sexually abused as a child and raped as an adult. Beer was the one thing that took all of that away. Or so I thought! You have to take control of your life - right now! I have fought depression all of my life and I still do now but the difference is that I will not be a victim of my own life. I have done it for myself, my child and my husband. I wake up everyday now and thank God that I am alive and that my child looks up at me instead of being afraid that I will not be alive in the morning. If you don't love yourself enough then you need to love your children enough to not want their lives to be ruined! Just because my childhood was ruined does not mean that my child has to suffer for it. I wish that there were more programs for moms out there. Good luck! You can do it! I honestly did not believe a year ago that I would be alive in a year but that was when I decided that it was time for me to take responsibility for my life and the life of my child. I have been sober for almost a year and my life has completely changed. I have gone back to school and I feel like I am accomplishing all of the things in life that I never had the opportunity to do before. That in itself helps me with my depression. I did not and do not ever want my child to go through what I have been through. Please think of your children and get help! It can be done! You are in my prayers and thoughts because I was right there a year ago saying exactly what you have just said!!!
 
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May 25, 2006, 10:50 am PDT

I agree

Quote From: princess1

I admire the way Dr Phil makes people take resopnisbility, but there is a major flaw with the whole rehab system.  First off, you are treating a person for a few weeks for a problem that it took a lifetime to develop.  Next when you get out of rehab, you go back into the exact same situation you came out of.  It is easy to work the program when you are in the safe confines of the rehab, but when you are back in the real world everything changes.  The worst problem is how so many people keep telling the addicts they have an illness.  That is such a load of crap,  An illness is not somthing you choose to contract., taking that drink or whatever your drug of preference is is a CHOICE!!!!    You don't choose to get cancer, you do choose to pick up that beer and drink it.  It is all about personal responsibility.  And yes I do know what I am talking about, because every day I wake up I choose not to drink alchohol or take drugs; I also see family members who have made the choices to drink and drug.
Great Post, While I was drinking it was easy to believe that I was a victim to alcohol. That just made it easier for me to continue to drink. I went through rehab and AA and I firmly believe that sitting around rehashing my past and feeling sorry for myself would have led to relapse. It is a choice and as hard as it may seem to make the choice not to drink it is possible with support and help. I am working through my past and not using it as an excuse for poor judgement and behaviors. It's very difficult but very much worth it. What you do to your children is a choice! You are choosing to give your children an unstable home and parent! What you do and how you live will affect your children for the rest of their lives! My father did it to me and continues to. I did it to my daughter but I had the strength to stop the cycle in it's tracks and give my daughter a fighting chance at a healthy and happy childhood and future!
 
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May 25, 2006, 11:09 am PDT

agree

Quote From: dowgirl12

Dear Mom -   

  

It can take several months to find the right medications for depression. Think of it like chemo therapy, because there are side effects you may have to endure.  

  

It can get better. You need to find a good psychiatrist. Please don't let your family Dr. be the only one you see about depression. The drugs are complicated and they can take you in the WRONG direction.  

  

People with cancer or diabetes will talk and talk about their illness (or child birth - please enough horror stories!) But depression - we don't talk about this enough.  

Yes it can take time for antidepressants to work. I am on antidepressants and stable but will need to stay on them for life to prevent recurrence. I know from my depression support group that many with depression try to treat the depression with alcohol I have tried it myself. But alcohol is a depressant so it may make you feel better at first but it the long run it makes things worse.Keep posting I am praying for you.
 
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May 25, 2006, 11:37 am PDT

princess

Quote From: princess1

I admire the way Dr Phil makes people take resopnisbility, but there is a major flaw with the whole rehab system.  First off, you are treating a person for a few weeks for a problem that it took a lifetime to develop.  Next when you get out of rehab, you go back into the exact same situation you came out of.  It is easy to work the program when you are in the safe confines of the rehab, but when you are back in the real world everything changes.  The worst problem is how so many people keep telling the addicts they have an illness.  That is such a load of crap,  An illness is not somthing you choose to contract., taking that drink or whatever your drug of preference is is a CHOICE!!!!    You don't choose to get cancer, you do choose to pick up that beer and drink it.  It is all about personal responsibility.  And yes I do know what I am talking about, because every day I wake up I choose not to drink alchohol or take drugs; I also see family members who have made the choices to drink and drug.

First, I missed the show.  So I can't say anything about their specific situation. 

  

But I do want to comment about some of your statements, because a lot of people think this way!  Rehabs don't "cure" addicts and alcoholics.  What rehabs do is help us medically through our detox, educate us on the disease concept, and give us tools to maintain sobriety.  The battle isn't over when someone leaves rehab -- the battle has just begun!   

  

You mentioned people who go back to "the same situation".   In one sense, this may be true.  But  a big part of rehab is learning how to avoid situations that are risky, and also what to do when those cravings start to hit.  If someone chooses to ignore this, then  yes, they have made a bad choice.  But it's on them, not the rehab. 

  

Also -- and this is the biggest misconception -- the disease model does NOT give people a free pass to blame their actions on addiction!  In fact, a big part of recovery relates to taking full responsibility for all choices that have harmed others, and then making amends.   

  

The reason the disease model is important is because alcoholism isn't caused by drinking too much.  And the difference between an alcoholic and a non-alcoholic has nothing to do with how much they consume.  It has to do with what happens to them when they consume.  For an alcoholic, the body begins adapting to the alcohol from the very first sip. 

  

  

 
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May 25, 2006, 11:41 am PDT

sully

Quote From: sully5

Hi! I appreciate your words, especially coming from someone with 15 years of sobriety, that's impressive. 

  

I do realize that it is an ongoing process, the key for me is knowing I cannot ever drink again, ever, not even a sip. Like I said, I tried to cut down last year, and was completely unsuccessful because I didn't get the magnitude of my problem and or refused to. I guess I use the past tense because I see two souls, the one who was a drunk, and the one that is clean and the person the Lord wants her to be. My faith has been instrumental in staying away from alcohol. All those years of drinking, I always felt so guilty because I knew it wasn't right. I guess I have a conscience the size of Texas, because it feels so awesome to be rid of that guilt! 

  

I also can't say why it's been so easy for me. I see people on boards, like MSN's Women for Sobriety, and so many of them are struggling terribly to stay away from it. I feel for them. I can honestly say I would no more pick up a beer than stick my hand in a pot of boiling water. It's just no longer an option. And I never blamed anyone but myself for my problem with alcohol, I am responsible for what I do, me and me alone. That's another key, not playing the "victim". 

  

I agree that AA is a wonderful program for alcoholics, and would never say anything against it. It's there if you need it. 

  

Although health problems are the main reason I decided to quit, I have reaped so many other benefits I just cannot see me going back to it.  Incentive.  And above all, faith in the Lord, I give Him the glory for my change, if you repent and ask for help, he gives you strength that is unmatched by anything of this world. You have to want it and you have to work for it, but He has proven that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me".  

  

I guess some with more experience may think I'm a newbie and don't get it, but for me I think I do. I agree 100% that it is an ongoing road, but it's what you make of it. I can either spend my time saying, "oh, poor me, I can never drink again", or saying "oh, lucky me, I don't drink anymore".   

  

Thank you for your words, I do agree with you. Congratulations on your sobriety, it is very impressive. 

  

-Sully 

  

Well I can't find much to argue with in all that!   

  

I do know the feelings you're talking about, and it will get even better as time goes on.  I found that, because of long-term withdrawal, that first year had its moments (things like depression, insomnia, sugar cravings, etc).  But it's all worth it, isn't it?? 

  

Best of luck to you with all this.  It really does sound like you're making tons of progress!! 

 
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May 25, 2006, 12:27 pm PDT

Oh yes, the sugar thing....

Quote From: the_indian

Well I can't find much to argue with in all that!   

  

I do know the feelings you're talking about, and it will get even better as time goes on.  I found that, because of long-term withdrawal, that first year had its moments (things like depression, insomnia, sugar cravings, etc).  But it's all worth it, isn't it?? 

  

Best of luck to you with all this.  It really does sound like you're making tons of progress!! 

Hi Indian, 

  

You are so right about the sugar thing!! I've traded my alcoholism for an ice-cream addiction. 

(Ha Ha) Love that cookies and cream..... 

  

-Sully 

 
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