Topic : *Dr. Phil Prime Time Special: Escaping Addiction, Part 2

I think it is really reall wrong and one of my ex-bf's was a alcoholic :(.  

My name is Linda, I was an alcoholic starting in my twenties when I went to work on an AFB Officer's Club in England. I was young and immpressionable, and did have a drink or two when I was offered. I was actually flattered. I started smoking "Kool (tm) " cigarettes also, and that was my new personality. It slowly became worse, it did not happen over night. I got very good at bartending, I started making a lot of money, and became very popular. I liked the job. When we moved back to the US I started working at a small bar, a quaint little spot, where they served peanuts and you threw the shells on the floor, it was a blast to work there. At that time cocaine became the cool thing to do, so everyone always gave it to the bartenders. I don't know if everyone did it, but I sure did. The more cocaine I did the more I could drink, and then started the vicious circle. I was in the midst of a divorce from the childrens father, and it did not really phase me. I just kept drinking, partying and was beginning to be obvlious to most everything. I had been brought up in a decent home, with decent morals and values. I don't know where they went for that period of my life. I took on husband number 2, which of course failed, he did cocaine and pot, and we both continued a seperate lifestyle of partying. The guilt I feel now is HORRENDOUS. I have since been forgiven, and my children have forgiven me. The hardest part is to forgive myself. I had no right to put my children in that type of situation, and they too suffered the consequence. They are grown now but I am sure they have scars of the terrible times. (They are absolutely great kids!). I went to work in a small neighborhood bar, "where everybody knows your name" and continued to decline at a very fast pace this time. I had DUI's, I spent time behind bars, I had major car wrecks. My dignity as I know it now had gone. I was in the blackout stage of drunkeness, My life had gone from wife, mother, keeping a home, to a partying, cocaine, methamphedamine, and alcohol abuser. I thought I was just fine. It did not occur to me that I was out of control. My normal night consisted of at least 20 mixed drinks, white russians, and at least 10-20 shots of Jagermister. That was blackout time. The methamphetamine allowed me to continue drinking, not knowing that I was not even functioning. I thought I was. I drove all the time, all over the place. I was friends with the cops on the 6AM shift and had blackmail material that I could use against them. I traded my soul to the devil many times. ONE time too many. I ended up in a nice jail, like Camp Cupcake because of who I knew, paid for by someone else. I got let off easy. This is so unfair, but that is the way it was. The years following I got a real DUI, and there was no one to save me but myself. I did not know how. I had hit the bottom, I woke up on a Sunday morning, there was a donut shop near a train tracks, and I was in the ditch next to the train tracks. My hose were shredded, my face looked like a mongrel, I looked like a used up old hooker. I was not that, but there I was. I saw a family that had been to church, dressed in their nice Sunday best, coming out of the donut shop. I did not have shoes, nor a car. It was typical that I lost my car. Making a horrid story a little shorter, I ended up in AA. (For about the 10th time!) This time I worked the program, and the program worked me. I now am happily married for 13 years, in love, have a working marriage, and spent the rest of my career working in substance abuse programs. I lost a good part of my life, I try now to make each and every day count. I am a living testimony Dr, Phil. I am now 54, 4 beautiful grandchildren. I am thankful.  

Linda 

I have a 36yo step son who just will not quit drinking.  He has been in rehab 5 times and is currently in his 6th and is still drinking.  It is an impossible situation as everyone has turned their backs on his behavior except for his dad who still provides a soft place for the "child" to land.  He basically has lost everything.  Today I had to tell Dan that either Tom lives at the house or I do.  Not both.  As we speak Tom is very drunk, missed a court date today for parole violation from his drinking and is currently raiding his estranged spouses' house.  This is the honest to God truth.  Your show was timed perfectly; however, no matter how crazy it makes his Dad, Tom will always be Daddy's boy and he will care for him.  Thank you.

I am so sorry that you have to be put through this. Your step son is out of control, there are always people to save him, and if he does not get help, it will be too late. It is a filthy disease, sometimes inherited, the traits anyway, and the victims are so very sick. I feel it is one step from death. You are in such a difficult position, having to make a choice between your partner and his son. That is a terrible place to be. Sometimes a father cannot chose to lose his son, it is not because he does not love you, do not think that. There is just no way to chose to lose a son, although the son is lost already. As alcoholics, we choose the path of death and destruction, or the path of life. When we are in that depth of hell, we do not know the choice and are not able to make it on our own. I had to hit the bottom, and boy do I mean bottom. Your step son has not hit the bottom because he is always given a place to fall. Some day there will be no place to fall. Bottom is the END. The only way is UP ^^. LInda.

 I recently quit drinking (42 days now) and I do know that I used alcohol for all of the wrong reasons. It took about a week for me to start thinking clearly again and now that I can I do not ever want to drink again. When I was drinking it was daily and as much as I could drink from about 11am on until I would black out. The black outs were the worst because I don't remember what happened. I would fight with my husband and not know what I did. The police got involved on 3 different occasions and now I am facing domestic violence charges. Alcohol is a dangerous drug and I wish I would have never started to drink. Since I have stopped my husband stopped 10 days later and our family is finally healing. Our kids are starting to get along and there haven't been any negative words in our family. We have all enrolled in counseling for the good of ourselves and are accepting all of these wonderful life changes. We now know that we don't have to drink alcohol to have a good time. I hope everyone that has a problem will not get to the extreme that I did because it is hard to pull yourself together. With the help of some A A groups I have new friends that I can truly call my family. Thank GOD!!

After 13+ years of sobriety, my alcoholic husband started drinking about 2 years ago.  At first, I didn't realize it--he had every excuse in  the book for his actions and I was very gullible.  We've been married almost 33 years and I don't want our marriage to end, but his alcoholism is ruining our life.  He promises to quit -- and does for a day or two.  He refuses to go to AA -- it's "not for me."  I've now had him sign a "Sobriety Contract."  If he violates the terms, he has to move out.  It's not what I want, but it's what I need.  We're taping Wednesday's show because we'll be at a Bible study class....we'll watch it together (he really does want to be sober and maybe this show will be a wake up call).  I keep praying and God keeps listening....

I am the wife of a man addicted to alcohol and cigarettes.  He must have a cigarette in his hand or mouth at all times and an open beer hidden not far away.  He says he wants to quit but that it is a habit.  He has been detoxited once due to illness and once with the help of a doctor giving him meds to kill the shakes.  It did not work because he started again saying he enjoys the taste.  On the weekend the first thing I hear is the popping of a beer can in the morning and usually by noon he is out for the rest of the day.  On weekdays as soon as he gets off work he starts drinking.  He comes home long enough to check in and is then off on what he calls a side job (either a quick way to buy a six pack or to a friends house for free beer).  This is destroying the family especially my daughter age 12.  She has never had a birthday party because our place is to small but mainly because she is afraid of her father embarrassing her.  He has done this several times in front of her best friend.  She doesn't want any of her other friends to see his behavior.    

I am a teachers aide and do not make enough money by myself to leave him.  I am going back to college to get my BA in computers to try and become a computer teacher so that we can move out but I am 2yrs. from that.    

I wish there was something I could do to help my husband get clean permanently before my daughter is permanently harmed.  The other night he came home so drunk he passed out in the car in the driveway.  The car was still running when I went outside to see why he had not come in.  I turned off the car and found that the car was still in gear.  Had his foot slipped off the break he would have taken out the ramp to the trailer and who knows what other damage.  We were lucky I went outside to check on him.  To ease all reading this mind I never let my daughter ride with him and I am the only one who drives her anywhere.  There were a couple times in the past he drove but his alcoholism was not as bad as it is now.  

My husband has reached the point of being sick when he does not get a beer and is sick just about every morning.  He wants my daughter and I to feel sorry for him but we can't because we are too fed up with the lies that come with alcoholism. 

I alcoholism a disease, illness, addiction, or habit?????????  How do I help him overcome this or is there no hope and my daughter and I should move on??????? 

  

I am a 54 yr. old female married 30 yrs with  two adult daughters who were ten and eight when I got sober almost nineteen years ago. Twenty four years I abused alcohol and drugs, I broke my fathers heart and made his life hell along with my siblings who finally threw in the towel and said there is nothing we can do for her. I was addicted. I did not just abuse alcohol and drugs I was addicted to it. So much my youngest daughter was born with fetal alcohol effect she is doing great today in fact both my girls are success stories. They survived a life of hell. Where I am just a miracle there is no medical reason I am still alive about twenty doctors told me that. Hell I almost died in detox.  I had to hit a medical bottom to get help. I was forced and I am glad I was no matter what the reason is why we get sober as long as we stay sober or at least try we are fighting the battle and it is a battle that will be here forever just like cancer because it is a disease. We all have our own programs we work to get sober and stay that  way but what ever works work it. I am glad we have people like Dr.  Phil and others who will continue to open our eyes to it because it aint going away. We just have to fight it and I mean everyone the ones effected by the alcoholic and the alcoholic or addict what ever they are the same to me. Good Luck to everyone out there who is still suffering my prayers are with you.   eileen

  Dear Linda, Thank you so much for your story. I have a 31 year old son who's used drugs and alcohol for at least half of his life. He too has been in countless rehab. centers, has been and still is in trouble with the law, lost his wife, and it's now at the point where we cant even allow him to stay in our home. He is currently living in a half way house. He too has been in AA, at one time, approx. 21/2 years ago he worked the steps and had a sponsor he really respected and it seemed like his life of hell was ending. He did eventually relapse and got to a point where his drug abuse put him in cardiac arrest and on a ventilator. I know, without a doubt, God has been with him, never letting him go, there has to be a purpose for him. My prayer is that he will soon be shown why he's been spared and will stop the using. He's at a point where, until just recently, was drinking every day, all day. One of his counselors said he's at the end stages of alcoholism and if he doesn't stop now, he'll die. Neither his dad or I ever were an addict, but my dad was and brothers. My mom died while one of my brothers was still very much involved in drugs, that was 19 years ago and this same brother is still using. I think it's great that you got control and you have your children's love and forgiveness. Please forgive yourself. One fear I hold in my heart is that if anything ever happens to me, I don't want my son to have any guilt and I don't want him to not have the relationship with his sister and nieces he could have if he gets clean. I pray he'll stop soon so I can see alot of good in his life while I'm still here. Thanks for reading....Nancy

During my early college years I spent most afternoons drunk.  It was not until I had my daughter Dec. 1, 10... that I realized how dangerous it was.  It was News Years Eve and the hospital had sent home a basket that had food and 2 cordial bottles of champagne. I had 1 and sat down.  My daughter started to cry and I could not find my feet to attend to her.   That was it I promised her I would never get drunk and endanger her ever again and I haven't. 

Keep what is most important to you near you and it will help you stay sober the rest of your life.  This has worked for me.   

The road will be hard as my husband has tried and failed many times.  He has not found that one thing that is so important to him yet.  I hope you do.