Topic : 05/29 Parenting Dilemmas

Congratulations to Nancy!  I was diagnosed with MS over 20 years ago.  Most of what i've heard over the years has been "you can't do ____, you have MS!  That includes adopting a baby after diagnosis, learning to scuba dive, becoming Colorado's only certified shark feeder, taking a trip to the Amazon and walking more than 5 miles a day.  If I didn't go on with my life, I wouldn't have MS - it would have me!  I know that I have been much more fortunate than a lot of people with the same diagnosis but I have to think that at least some of it just comes from refusing to give in.  I don't have a single day without symtoms of one kind or another, some days are much worse than others but you just have to deal with them as they come.  One day my mom introduced me to someone as "a victim of MS!"  I told her that I never wanted to hear that again - I figure that I'm only a victim if I let myself be!  Keep up the good work.     Jeanne

I have to agree with Dr. Phil regarding the visibility of tatoos. While there are those who find something exotic, intriguing, etc. about them, in a professional setting, they need to be hidden.  When I interview someone for a position, especially one visible by the public or customers, the tatoos must be hidden.  I will be very surprised if there are any senior management or CEOs that have tatoos covering their whole arms.  I speak from experience. I am HR professional and college instructor.  Oh, one more thing, personally, I would think twice about going to a cosmetologist with tatoos up and down their arms.

To all of the tattoo addicts out there....the issue is not one of whether or not body art is appropriate or should be "judged" (though, in our world, as Dr. Phil was trying to point out, first impressions DO mean something, right or wrong, we are judged on our appearance) The issue is, for me as a HS teacher, teens getting tattoos, and not just a discrete meaningful something, but full blown show-it-all-to-the-world tattoos.  In most states, you must be 18 to get a tattoo in the 1st place.  Of course, as with anything that has an age limit law, this is one that is very hard to enforce, especially when there are adults who MAY not be the teen's parent who will take the kids to get their body art.  Frequently a teen's decision to get a tattoo is either a spur of the moment thing that seems good at the time, or an expression of some teen angst (which is very real and heartfelt to the teen, as most adults hopefully realize, is NOT as huge as we made it when we were kids).  The decision to put permanent marks on one's body is one that should be made with an adult perspective.  Culturally the tattoo does not have the same stigma as it once had, several of our elementary teachers have tattoos on the lower back that are visible sometimes depending on what is worn.  Some of our HS women teachers also have tattoos, but for the most part these aren't visible.  For young people contemplating a tattoo....imagining yourself in your adult life may help you consider the longevity of what you are doing....see yourself as a parent, grandparent, doctor, teacher, banker, or whatever....does a tattoo enhance the image you have of yourself or detract from it? One other thing that parents who seem to have no issue with taking their minor children to get tattoos, especially your daughters....tattos and piercings ARE  sexual signals.  Whether or not your daughter is sexually active, she is sending the message that she not only is sexually active, but also sexually adventurous.  Just something to keep in mind. 

These people that want to parade about with tattoos are seeking nothing but attention in their lives. They are absolutely desperate for attention of any kind, even BAD attention.   

   

You will never find multi-piecred, tats visible successful in the corporate world unless they work as a musician or at Hardley Davidson.   

Sorry, tattoo discrimination is not illegal in our country....in fact, other than color & disabilities, anything about your appearance that an employer finds disagreeable can and will keep you from getting a job.  And, there is no law that any employer has to tell you why they didn't hire you.  As far as " that place really isn't somewhere I would like to work." Twenty two is honesty not that far from nineteen.  I'm not saying that you will regret your tattoo later or anything, but you have much more life to live and learn from yet.  Compromise (as Dr. Phil said in this show) is something you learn to do as an adult.  Most of us were ardent in our ideals as young adults.  The ideals don't go away, but you do learn that to get where you want in life, you do have to compromise.  That's not selling out, sucking up, or giving in; it's a knowledge & wisdom that comes with experience.  We do change as we get older BECAUSE we, hopefully, learn from our experiences. 

It is so sad to see that Kristina's own mother is so set against the tattoos. I have a tattoo, nose pierced, and five earrings in each ear. I plan on getting more tattoos and piercings. I work with influencial community figures at a college. If any co-workers have disagreed with my choices, no one has said anything to me. I know that people judge me before I can even open my mouth, regardless of whether I had my forms of expressions. Each time we see another person, we have the option of listening to our initial knee jerk reactions or make a commitment to get to know them for who they are.

Discrimination is illegal because you are judging, or preventing someone from moving forward in life or living life with out problems because of something they cannot help.

A tattoo is a choice. Race is not a choice, sex is not a choice, disability is not a choice. You choose to have tattoo's there for people CAN choose to not hire you because of that choice of yours.

Hi ,  

I am a license hairdresser for 26 years.  I am a Hairdresser in Santa Clarita. I am a colorest and i do updos for speciel events. Please pass this on to your Tat girl. Yes you can have tatoos and be ok in the hair biz. But you need to have some moderation. Your are doing hair on all kinds of people. Some are more conrevitve. If you  are tototly covered, some clients not want you to touch them.  You will make them very unconfrotable, and you will not have them  as a lasting client.  If you think who needs some one who will judge you . Think again when you do hair you are selling yourself as well as your art.  this is your income  why would you shoot yourseIf in the foot by scarying away potental income.  Also  you donot know where you will be working. Some employers will not hire you  because you are presenting yourself as less business orenetent.  I Don't get me wrong most of my friend have some tats and pericing. but not total sleave.  You will not be able to cover your arms with sleaves because of washing hair and being in haircolor you can not wear them.  I wish you well good luck  with school.   

   

long sleves.   

I've got one that I had covered up, it was of a rebel flag, it wasn't because I'm a Racist, I'm not!, but because I'm originally from Alabama, ya know, Dixie!, and it was cool at the time,  I was 18, it didn't bother me until I got older, and I was on a cruise ship, on the elevator going down to the pool, when a white man with a black woman from england got on, you could see it in they're faces, when they seen my tat , they were terrified, well ,I'm kind of a big guy too, I'm sure that didn't help, I thought they were gonna call security on me, Now I thought Dr.Phil was very fare!  he bought out one of his producers with a tat, the deal is, how you are perceived to be, and how you perceive others, my son started when he was 18 and now he's 22 and already getting cover ups, they call it art, but when you go it a room and pick a picture out of a book, well, I'd like to be a Little more original than that ,so I designed my own cover up, and, feel a lot better about it, there is not another one like it, in the world, real art, but when you have them all over, along with the piercing, aren't you going for the shock effect! and, why are you so surprised when you get it, then we always hear "why can't people just accept me for who I am, but I'll bet when those same people see a bum or a crack head on the street they say ooowh, why can't they just except them for being a bum or a crack head, well, I think we are in a fish bowl, and, the bums and crack heads are at the bottom some are on ether side they're some on top. doesn't mean ones better than another, especially if a bum or a crack head were to save one of our lives, but some times they offend  me, some times Dr.Phil offends me, but this time he was right on, that girl has her whole life, you don't paint a masterpiece buy just toughing paint on a canvas, it takes time, and knowing what the whole pitcher is gonna look like at th end.