Topic : 05/29 Parenting Dilemmas

Why are tattoos an acceptable form of discrimination? I have my chest, some of my back, and the backs of my arms tattooed. My husband has his arms, his chest and stomach and back practically covered. I am a photographer and an expectant mother, my husband is a sailor in the US navy. We have a nice income, we drive 2 new cars, and have a nice home. We have impecable credit scores and have never been turned down from a job because of our tattoos (well, one man was hesitant to let in his highly upscale studio, but he really was a big jerk and I chose to not pursue the job further). My husband is in daily contact with his captain and other commanding officers. We are active members in our church, and have been christains for a very long time. i was so upset that this poor girl's mother is embarrassed by her! She should be HAPPY that tattooing is her only issue. My mom and I had the tattoo discussion. She said she wished I hadn't tattooed myself so much, but she thanks God that I never came home drunk, high, pregnant or broke. People at her work ask how could she let her daughters get so many tattoos. She just smiles and tells them how sweet, smart and kind we are. Most those who are tattooed (not just a spring break "got it on a whim" tattoo, but those who choose and plan their body art) don't do it for the sake of shock or silliness. It is an expression of life choices, and changes. A majority represent my choice to follow Christ. The others represtent my marraige. I will tattoo the names of my children when that time comes. My point is that many successful people choose the tattooed lifestyle. My tattooes are the story of life, should I regret my life?

I was so excited to see that you had a guest that had such a wonderful outlook on her disease.  Three years ago, I had 3 strokes and my health went down hill very rapidly.  It was said that I may have MS.  I was in a wheelchair for eight months, told that I would never work again, never be the same person that I used to be.  I am now 41 years old and happy to report that even though I still struggle with my health and still do not have a firm diagnosis of what is wrong with me, that I look at life as a challange and go head first with cheer and determination.  I am a full time student in paralegal studies at Kaplan University Online,  with a long term goal of goint to law school and studying legislative law.  I agree with you Ms. Nancy that your attitude and determination have a lot to do with your physical well being.  I will be excited to read your book.  I am so happy that I am not the only one that feels that you can either put your head underneath the covers and whither away or take life by the horns and enjoy life. 

I think Cindi should of paid more attention to her daughter, andshe shouldnt of let her get the first tattoo!!! Theres nothing wrong with tattos I have some but I told my son when he is 18 he can get one but I want him to really think about it because he'll have it along time. You are the parent you have the say so in your house hold . Who' s the parent not Cindi she let her do it. 

Trudi 

So ladybug people have their ears pierced are nasty and ugly looking too? Whoever said you were closed minded was right..Everyone is entitled to their opinions

I am a girl from Holland, so I didn't see the show, but I read about it. I read about the topic with the girl  with the tattoos. And her mother who thought she was a freak. I can imagine, that a mother is kind of angry if her child doesn't listen to her, and gets a bit frustrated if the child will not listen to her advise, but I also think that the mother has to listen to her child. Not just because I am a fifteen year old and I'm saying that the child's right, but I just try to imagine the stories from both sides. And I also have my own opinion about this. I think that the girl should really listen to her mother, and slow down with the tattoos and think it over. She has years ahead of her, and enough time to get herself tattooed. But I must say, that the mother should think first before she blaims her daughter that she's ashamed and all kinds of things. Because the mother has to remember that she also has a tattoo. You can't blame your child for an example you've already given. What my tip would be: Talk. And for the mom, listen to her daughter and for the daughter, take it easy. She has a whole life ahead of her an she can put as many tattoos on as she wants. She has years of time! 

I also think that the mother should think again about the sentence that if her daughter gets inked again, she'll cut her off. This is a very critical decision. And maybe her daughter thinks she's still an american beauty! And her mother shouldn't make her own daughter feel ugly. It's good that the daughter is so selfconfident. But it's good that the mother tells her about safety hazards. 

Betiana 

I haven't seen the show either -- but if the only issue with this teenager is that she has tattoos, then the mother should count herself lucky and admire the good young person she has raised.  

  

Tattoos are an expression -- albeit a permanent one -- but they are just that.  We don't have to like them, same with piercings, but we also don't have to wear them if we don't want them.   

  

Haven't we learned yet that we shouldn't judge people by the way they look?  It is what we do, and how we treat others that matters, and I would imagine that a person with "odd" or "unusual" looks -- by design or nature -- would be more compassionate in regard to people's differences.  I for one would be proud to have a child of mine be that way -- tattooed, pierced or otherwise.  

  

To the Mom -- pick your battles wisely -- you only win so many -- make sure they are the ones that in the long run are the most important.  

  

  

I am a 40 yr old with 6 tattoos and more soon I hope. Where is all the negativity coming from anyway? My family is fine with my tattoos, in fact some of my family members followed suit and got their own! I am pleasantly surprised that my views are so far not in the minority. Tattoos that are performed legally, safely and correctly are simply an expression of one's individuality. I obtained mine knowing full well that they would always be with me and still have no regrets. Maybe Dr. Phil should dedicate a show to those who like tattoos?! If it ever happens count me in!!

I found the segment of the show today on tattoos very misleading and disturbing. The girl "Kristen" that was featured on the show because her mother does not "appove"of her tattoos has absolutely nothing in life to worry about. As for the mother, if this is the worst of her problems she has quite a life and thinking that disowning your daughter for the art that she chooses is not the love that should be between a mother and her children.   

I am 27 years old and have full sleeves on both of my arms including other tattoos. I am a mother of a 3 year old and a little one on the way. I am also a business major and work doing payroll in the accounting department for a large non-profit organization that gives services to people with disabilities. The comment made by Dr. Phil saying that this is acceptable after you've made alot of money as a rock star and would not be able to walk into a bank or accounting firm and get a job is completely false, as I am living proof.   

The other girl that was featured for regretting her tattoos, it is too bad. Being afraid that people will judge you or your children because you have tattoos is ignorant. We try to raise our children with the best parenting skills possible, we teach our children manners, respect, and most of all not to judge people. Some of us also teach our children christian values which also comes along with accepting people for who they are on the inside.  

Kristen, if you read this, reach for the stars you have the whole world ahead of you. You body art is your decision and should never hold you back from anything that you strive to do in life. I too am young with alot of dreams but would never think or worry about my tattoos holding me or my children back from anything.