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Topic : Where Should Your Child Sleep?

Number of Replies: 261
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Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 12:59:51 pm
Author : dataimport
Does your child sleep in a crib, his own bed, or with you? Tell us what works for your family.

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May 1, 2007, 12:02 pm CDT

newborn

Quote From: norman9501

HELLO EVERYONE. MY DAUGHTER IS 7 WEEKS OLD NOW AND I HAVE JUST BEGUN PUTTING HER INTO HER OWN BED AT NIGHT. I WAS TERRIFIED TO LEAVE HER BEFORE BECAUSE EVERY TIME I WOULD LAY HER DOWN SHE JUST KEPT SPITTING UP AND I WAS AFRAID SHE WOULD CHOKE. FOR THE LAST WEEK, SHE HAS DONE GREAT. I STARTED A ROUTINE WHERE WE HAVE A BATH, THEN A STORY WHILE SHE'S GETTING HER NIGHT-TIME FEEDING AND THEN WE PUT HER DOWN AT 9PM. SHE GETS UP AROUND 4AM, THEN SLEEPS UNTIL 7AM READY TO GO. THAT PART IS GREAT WITH HER ONLY GETTING UP ONCE A NIGHT, HOWEVER DURING THE DAY IS OUR PROBLEM. NO MATTER WHERE I PUT HER DOWN DURING THE DAY, SHE WILL NOT NAP OVER 20 MINUTES UNLESS IM HOLDING HER. IF I PUT HER DOWN, SHE IS WIDE AWAKE AND THEN FIGHTS SLEEP AND GETS VERY CRANKY. DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS FOR DAY-TIME SLEEPING?

My newborn- who is now 16 weeks old slept very well at night, usually from 10pm until 7am from 5 weeks until now (due to teething). We had the same problem with her sleeping during the day. It took us a month to get her used to sleeping in certain places, Now, she will only sleep in her crib at night and will only nap in her swing or on our bed during the day and even then sometimes we have to lay with her for a minute to get her to sleep.  my only suggestion is to watch where she sleeps best, even if it's not for long then stick to that place. :)

 

 

 
May 1, 2007, 4:45 pm CDT

Where does family sleep best?

We are the parents of 7 happy well adjusted children (24 - 5 yrs old).  We have used the family bed.  This is what seemed to work best for us.  I don't say it is for everyone but for us our whole family slept best this way.  We have used only one queen bed, side car bed, toddler bed, twin bed next to ours, sleeping bags on floor.   Whatever seemed to work with the amount of children

who needed to be in our room.   I don't believe there is only ONE way for a family to get

their much needed rest.  I think you should open your hearts and minds to what works best for

everyone.  Just find a solution that everyone gets the best nights rest possible.

 

Family Bed by Tine Thevin is a great book and also Good Nights by Dr. Jay Gordon helped so much!

 

Happy sleeping!

 
May 1, 2007, 5:15 pm CDT

Is there any other place?

I have always had my children in their own beds.

 

I have 2 girls now 11 and 6; even when I breast fed them in the early months of their life they were in a bassinet. I could blame it on paranoia of smothering them and hearing stories of my friends having a hard time getting their kids in their own rooms. I knew I didn't want to deal with those consequences later.

 

I believe our adult bed is our sanctuary and our source of privacy which as you all know is hard to find after having children and when you mix the two your relationship struggles also.

 

Now, when an occasional storm or a case of the upset stomach happens I also offer comfort to them by allowing that special consideration of snuggling w/ us.

 

 

 
May 1, 2007, 11:08 pm CDT

Where Should Your Child Sleep?

My son is now 2 1/2 years old. From the night I had him he has slept in bed with me, except for staying overnight at his grandparents. I started doing it because I was so worried about him during the night. Now he just cuddles with me. He can't go to sleep unless he is twirling my hair or has his little arm around my neck. I know when the time comes, he will be ready to sleep in his own bed, but will I? LOL My mom and dad divorced when I was 2. My younger brother & I both slept with my mom until we were older. My mom remarried when I was 4 and my was 2. I now have 2 more brothers, a 17 & 7 year old. The 17 year old slept with my mom & dad until the baby was born. Now he sleeps with my parents. Even now if my dad isn't home, both my brothers will sleep with my mom. I know it sounds weird that a 17 year old would sleep in bed with his mom & brother but we are a close family. I'm 23 now & when I'm sick or whatever I would love to be in my moms bed. I think its more of a comfort thing. . . .

 
May 9, 2007, 10:36 am CDT

how do I do it

My son is 2 and a half years old and has slept between my husband and I for his entire life, which by the way I really enjoy!! The trouble is that I'm having another baby boy in about 5 weeks and I don't think I can handle 2 in my bed plus my husband. Does anybody have any suggestions as to how I get my 2 year old into his own bed without making him feel left out? I don't want him to associate moving out of our room with his new baby brother coming,
 
May 13, 2007, 3:55 pm CDT

Where Should Your Child Sleep?

Quote From: esmomma

My son is 2 and a half years old and has slept between my husband and I for his entire life, which by the way I really enjoy!! The trouble is that I'm having another baby boy in about 5 weeks and I don't think I can handle 2 in my bed plus my husband. Does anybody have any suggestions as to how I get my 2 year old into his own bed without making him feel left out? I don't want him to associate moving out of our room with his new baby brother coming,
You do need to get your son moved to his room before your baby comes along, you don't want him resenting the new baby.

I found this on Dr. Phil's site, it has some really good advice. Copy and paste the address :)

http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/114

Where Should Your Child Sleep?
Dr. Phil does not support parents and children regularly sharing a bed, which is known as co-sleeping. In his view, having children in the parental bed can be very disruptive to a healthy adult relationship, and can also cause regressive behavior on the part of the child.

If it's difficult for your child to sleep alone, Dr. Phil suggests discussing the issue during daylight hours — not at bedtime. Establish rules, and make it clear that your bedroom is off limits for sleeping. Comfort your child by being available, but allow co-sleeping only on special circumstances (such as the occasional thunderstorm).

Get kids excited about the independence of sleeping in their own room. Make a game out of it, giving them gold stars or rewards for making progress. Start a new habit of going into your child's room and reading a bedtime story — but do not sleep there. To help a child overcome fear of the dark, Dr. Phil suggests buying a lamp dimmer, so that with "successive approximations" — not one big leap — the child will feel more comfortable and safe. It may be difficult at first, but in a short time, children will develop their own methods of soothing themselves and feel safe, secure and comfortable under their own covers.

Still, Dr. Phil acknowledges that there are reputable sources on both sides of the debate:

The Pros
1) Babies sleep longer through the night (Dr. Sears)
2) No nighttime separation anxiety (Dr. Sears, Dr. Phil)
3) Easier to breast feed at night (Dr. Sears)
4) Time to bond with baby (Dr. Sears, Dr. Phil)
5) Studies show decreased chance of SIDS (Dr. Sears, James K. McKenna, PhD)

The Cons
1) Parents can roll over on baby (AAP; CPSC)
2) Baby can fall off the bed (AAP; CPSC)
3) Baby can fall between wall and headboard (American AAP; CPSC)
4) Baby can suffocate in loose bedding (AAP; CPSC)
5) May interfere with sex life and intimacy (Dr. Phil)
6) Creates co-dependency (Dr. Schmitt M.D., Dr. Phil)
7) Does not reduce chance of SIDS (AAP; CPSC)

CPSC - The Consumer Product Safety Commission
AAP - American Academy of Pediatrics.

I hope this helps :)
 
May 17, 2007, 10:44 pm CDT

Same Feeling

Quote From: jennax3211

My son is now 2 1/2 years old. From the night I had him he has slept in bed with me, except for staying overnight at his grandparents. I started doing it because I was so worried about him during the night. Now he just cuddles with me. He can't go to sleep unless he is twirling my hair or has his little arm around my neck. I know when the time comes, he will be ready to sleep in his own bed, but will I? LOL My mom and dad divorced when I was 2. My younger brother & I both slept with my mom until we were older. My mom remarried when I was 4 and my was 2. I now have 2 more brothers, a 17 & 7 year old. The 17 year old slept with my mom & dad until the baby was born. Now he sleeps with my parents. Even now if my dad isn't home, both my brothers will sleep with my mom. I know it sounds weird that a 17 year old would sleep in bed with his mom & brother but we are a close family. I'm 23 now & when I'm sick or whatever I would love to be in my moms bed. I think its more of a comfort thing. . . .

My son is 4 months old. He started sleeping with me shortly after 2 weeks. It started cause I broke my leg and just couldn't get to his crib at night, I felt bad making my husband get up all through the night just so he would get the baby and hand him to me. I finally just started to sleep with him so I could be there when he woke up. He would sleep better and stopped crying cause all he would have to do is move around and wake me up and I would tend to his needs. My ankle is all healed and out of cast as of like 10 weeks agos. But I still sleep with my son. My son doesn't even need it, he can fall asleep anywhere. But now my husband has been trying to pin point a age limit on when this co sleeping with stop. Fear went through me when I had to realize my son is going to grow up and I cant have him always in my bed. I enjoy looking at his little peacful face at night when I'm falling a sleep, and its so great to wake up with him laughing and trying to talk. My husband is okay if we have the crib in our room for as long as I need it, but that the co sleeping should end by the time he is 6 months old. And i'm scared I'm going to have a hard time letting go.
 
May 26, 2007, 3:12 pm CDT

where should you child sleep

My son is 5 yrs and he sleeps in his own room in his own bed..I don't think children should sleep in there parents bed. Parents need there own space when they sleep and there own privacy with there mate.
 
May 26, 2007, 11:44 pm CDT

Sleeping

Quote From: brandi31

My son is 5 yrs and he sleeps in his own room in his own bed..I don't think children should sleep in there parents bed. Parents need there own space when they sleep and there own privacy with there mate.

I can totally respect that, but I'm just different as many of us have our own way of raising our children. My son is 4 months old now, and he has only been out of my site 2x when I had to do my taxes and go into town when he was very sick and I didn't want to take him out so I left him with my mother for an hour, besides that I just hate to leave him alone. When he naps he is usually in the living room where I am so I just don't ever leave him alone, and I told my husband even when I'm ready to put him back in his crib it might be a year before I let him go back into his room.

 
June 3, 2007, 12:12 am CDT

Where Should Your Child Sleep?

Quote From: tiffany_2007

My son is 4 months old. He started sleeping with me shortly after 2 weeks. It started cause I broke my leg and just couldn't get to his crib at night, I felt bad making my husband get up all through the night just so he would get the baby and hand him to me. I finally just started to sleep with him so I could be there when he woke up. He would sleep better and stopped crying cause all he would have to do is move around and wake me up and I would tend to his needs. My ankle is all healed and out of cast as of like 10 weeks agos. But I still sleep with my son. My son doesn't even need it, he can fall asleep anywhere. But now my husband has been trying to pin point a age limit on when this co sleeping with stop. Fear went through me when I had to realize my son is going to grow up and I cant have him always in my bed. I enjoy looking at his little peacful face at night when I'm falling a sleep, and its so great to wake up with him laughing and trying to talk. My husband is okay if we have the crib in our room for as long as I need it, but that the co sleeping should end by the time he is 6 months old. And i'm scared I'm going to have a hard time letting go.

Oh, I know I'll have a hard time letting go! I think thats another reason I continue to let him sleep with us. I'm like you, I love to look at his little face and when he wakes up, he just kisses all over my face! My husband and I have talked about putting him in his own bed, but he's just like me. He says he can't sleep without our son in the bed with us!

 
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