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Topic : Where Should Your Child Sleep?

Number of Replies: 261
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 12:59:51 pm
Author : dataimport
Does your child sleep in a crib, his own bed, or with you? Tell us what works for your family.

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June 3, 2007, 12:13 am CDT

Where Should Your Child Sleep?

Quote From: brandi31

My son is 5 yrs and he sleeps in his own room in his own bed..I don't think children should sleep in there parents bed. Parents need there own space when they sleep and there own privacy with there mate.
To each his own! I just don't want my son away from me.
 
June 4, 2007, 11:09 am CDT

Where Should Your Child Sleep?

I personally have let both my sons sleep with me since the day they were born. My oldest son, who is now 12, when he turned 4 just said to me one day "I think I am going to sleep in my own bed tonight" and has been there ever since. My youngest son, who is now 6, well, I am having a little trouble kicking him out. He does good falling asleep in his own bed, but he does eventually wander his way in to my room at some point durring the night.

When he was an infant I read a lot of information about co-sleeping. My own physchiatrist and I had a long discussion about it, and in most every part of the world, except in the west, babies sleep with thier mothers for at least the first year and sometimes later. He and I both agree that it seems barbaric and cruel to take a newborn, that has been lving inside of you for 9 months and then put them in an isolated, dark room with no one. It was so much easier to nurse at night, I slept better knowing he was right there, he sleept better because he could feel and smell me (remember babies know their mothers scent). My husband didnt really seem to mind, if we needed some time to yourselves, we put him in his bed, and when we heard him wake up, one of us would go get him.

Now back to him being 6 and still with me, the sad thing is that when he in not there, I wake up several times, looking for him (I got so used to his restless sleep kicking that when I go undisturbed it wakes me up).

 

I found this article and altough yes it could be biased, it has some valid points.

http://www.babyreference.com/Cosleeping&SIDS%202005%20Review%20of%20the%20Studies.htm

 

Mothers who worry about rolling over on top of there baby. My personal experience is, no matter how deep asleep you are in, your natural mothering instinct will always be one, even now as my kids are older, if my oldest son caughs in the middle of the night from his room on the other side of the house, i can hear it and immediately wake up. I dont have any exact statistics or facts, but from the stories I have read, parents who have rolled over on thier kids, seems like a lot of them had other factors involed, there were on drugs (presecription or other) or had been drinking.

 

 

 

 
June 4, 2007, 8:57 pm CDT

I KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE CHILDREN SHOULD BE TAUGHT TO SLEEP IN THEIR OWN BED!!

 
June 14, 2007, 3:59 pm CDT

Where Should Your Child Sleep?

I have one child, my son who is 18months old.  I always planned during my pregnancy to have a family bed. I wanted the comfort and joy of holding my little guy with me throught the whole night!  Many cultures do this as common practice.   i did my research.  I set my safety precautions.  I was set.  The problem?

My son refuses to sleep anywhere but his bed!

He loves his crib, he cries for it, and even now at bedtime when he's tired he pulls me to his crib and cries to be put in it.  

I've tried but he doesn't want to sleep in the same room even w/ me.

Every kid is different.  The best thing can vary from child to child.

Should a kid sleep w/ his parents.

Sometimes, the parents just don't get to make that choice.

 
June 29, 2007, 12:53 pm CDT

Sleeping

Quote From: pdq_melanie

"I KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE CHILDREN SHOULD BE TAUGHT TO SLEEP IN THEIR OWN BED!!"  THIS WAS YOUR MESSAGE TITLE   I think every child is very different. I don't see what kind of harm it does to the child or to the parents to keep your baby with you for awhile. I know I love having my son in my bed, but its me that really needs him more then he needs me. He does fine sleeping in his crib at naps or alone on my bed. I know when he gets a little older he will then go to sleep in his own bed in his own room, but right now I feel he is so little that I don't want him to wake up and not see me there and get scared and then has to cry for me to come to him.  He will be able to sleep with me when he gets nightmares or a bad storm is outside when he is older, if he needs to be close to me during those times. I will then let him make that choice.   I have been told by a family member, that when she has a baby that he/she will have there own room and they will sleep in that room with the door close and that they will learn to sleep on there own, and yes she will let a little baby cry. That broke my heart, but I do have to remember she doesn't have children there for she doesn't understand whats its like. I slept with my son for 9 months while he was in me and I think its mean to just kick him out when he is still so tiny and still in such need of me and his father.   THIS IS JUST MY OPINION though, I know every parent is different and need to make the best choices for themselves and there children.  
 
 
July 16, 2007, 3:41 pm CDT

Where Should Your Child Sleep?

My almost-six-month old baby started sleeping in my bed a few weeks ago when we visited family and she wouldn't settle... One thing has led to another and she will not sleep in her crib now. I have tried the "leave her for five minutes" and I'm left crying myself listening to that little baby scream - I just can not and will not do that.

Last night I was going to try the mothod of just staying up and each time she finishes crying and sleeps put her back in her crib and let her get back used to it in her own time, but my husband "informed" me that he had to get some sleep (gee, thanks hubby - lol) and I gave up and put her in with us. Maybe tonight I'll be able to try again.


 
July 16, 2007, 5:49 pm CDT

Sleeping

Quote From: emwen21

My almost-six-month old baby started sleeping in my bed a few weeks ago when we visited family and she wouldn't settle... One thing has led to another and she will not sleep in her crib now. I have tried the "leave her for five minutes" and I'm left crying myself listening to that little baby scream - I just can not and will not do that.

Last night I was going to try the mothod of just staying up and each time she finishes crying and sleeps put her back in her crib and let her get back used to it in her own time, but my husband "informed" me that he had to get some sleep (gee, thanks hubby - lol) and I gave up and put her in with us. Maybe tonight I'll be able to try again.


Since she is almost 6 months old, have you started to put her on rice ceral? I just started last week and even though my son is a pretty good sound sleeper he now just falls asleep on his own once in bed. I use to have to sing to him or read to him for a half hour but now he just drops out since the feeding. If you haven't started ask your doctor if you can start with food now something that can make them sleep better. and then you might be able to transfer from your bed to her bed without the problem of her waking up.

 

Plus if the problem is that the crib is in your room so it wake your husband up when you try and tranfer her over, you might want to roll that crib out into the living room and try it out there so your husband can have his sleep. I have one of those husbands that NEVER gets up in the middle of the night and use to leave the room to sleep out in the living room so he could sleep through the night.

 
July 21, 2007, 8:49 am CDT

She won't go to sleep!

I have two daughters ages 6 and 1. My one year old has never been very interested in sleeping and the older she gets the more difficult she becomes. I have tried everything I can think to try, from setting up a strict schedule, bed time bath to help relax her, to just letting her cry (which kills me). We rock, we sing, we dance and all she does is fight me at every turn. The only thing that seems to work is giving up and just going to bed with her in my bed. I can't transfer her to her own crib because she wakes up at the slightest movement. Sometimes I think she can just sense that I'm even thinking about it. While going to bed when she does seems simple enough, it eliminates any time that I may have had to wind down at the end of the day and my husband and I have NO chance of any physical relationship. Since it takes an hour or more of devoted effort to get her to sleep during the day and when she is awake and going requires constant attention, her big sister is feeling left out and has started acting out to show her displeasure. We have begun to work on the situation with my oldest, trying extra hard to see that she gets plenty of attention and mommy and daddy time but I have no clue what to do with the little one. I'm tired and I'm out of ideas. How do  I make my cute little monster go to sleep?
 
July 21, 2007, 8:52 am CDT

Where Should Your Child Sleep?

Quote From: anitablake

I have one child, my son who is 18months old.  I always planned during my pregnancy to have a family bed. I wanted the comfort and joy of holding my little guy with me throught the whole night!  Many cultures do this as common practice.   i did my research.  I set my safety precautions.  I was set.  The problem?

My son refuses to sleep anywhere but his bed!

He loves his crib, he cries for it, and even now at bedtime when he's tired he pulls me to his crib and cries to be put in it.  

I've tried but he doesn't want to sleep in the same room even w/ me.

Every kid is different.  The best thing can vary from child to child.

Should a kid sleep w/ his parents.

Sometimes, the parents just don't get to make that choice.

Oh how I envy you!
 
July 22, 2007, 12:13 pm CDT

Where Should Your Child Sleep?

Quote From: melly2

I have two daughters ages 6 and 1. My one year old has never been very interested in sleeping and the older she gets the more difficult she becomes. I have tried everything I can think to try, from setting up a strict schedule, bed time bath to help relax her, to just letting her cry (which kills me). We rock, we sing, we dance and all she does is fight me at every turn. The only thing that seems to work is giving up and just going to bed with her in my bed. I can't transfer her to her own crib because she wakes up at the slightest movement. Sometimes I think she can just sense that I'm even thinking about it. While going to bed when she does seems simple enough, it eliminates any time that I may have had to wind down at the end of the day and my husband and I have NO chance of any physical relationship. Since it takes an hour or more of devoted effort to get her to sleep during the day and when she is awake and going requires constant attention, her big sister is feeling left out and has started acting out to show her displeasure. We have begun to work on the situation with my oldest, trying extra hard to see that she gets plenty of attention and mommy and daddy time but I have no clue what to do with the little one. I'm tired and I'm out of ideas. How do  I make my cute little monster go to sleep?

i think your one year old knows she'll get attention. you can't spoil really small babies, but you can spoil one year olds. indeed make a schedule. and put her in her crib at the set time, sit next to the crib, and read a book or something, but don't make eye contact, and don't talk to her. you taught her that if she cries, she will get the attention, the carrying around. and because she can't talk yet, she cries. so she isn't crying because she isn't loved enough, or NEEDS something, but just because she WANTS something. and sometimes kids can't have what they want. so sit next to her crib, and read a book, or do nothing, don't make contact, don't pick her up, just be somekind of statue. and let her cry, as hard as it may be, but you're there, she's warm and comfortable. she's well taken care of, so there's nothing that she really needs anymore. sit next to her crib, and move farther away every week, or for how long it takes, till she get's used to the first step, and keep moving away, untill she can sleep in her crib, with the door closed, without your presence. i don't know what kind of attention she wants during the day, but you can let her play on herself sometimes. even if at first she doesn't want to. but you're oldest is suffering because of her sister, and starts to act out aswell to get attention. because that is what the little one does too, even though she is very small she is smart enough to notice that if she acts out she will get what she wants. and i think that if there isn't done anything yuo will have one spoiled two or three year old that throws a lot of tantrums in a couple of years. so if you know that she has had everuything she needs, she has been fed, or it isn't time to feed her yet, she has a clean diaper. so there's nothing she really needs you can just let her cry. if you think there is something wrong, if she has a cold, or her stomach hurts, then of course you don't let her cry, but most mothers seem to be able to hear the difference in cries, so i hope you can too, so you can determine when she cries for attention, and when she's hungry or has a dirty diaper.

 

good luck with it,

annemiek

 
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