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Topic : Where Should Your Child Sleep?

Number of Replies: 261
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Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 12:59:51 pm
Author : dataimport
Does your child sleep in a crib, his own bed, or with you? Tell us what works for your family.

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September 12, 2007, 10:18 am CDT

Where Should Your Child Sleep?

Quote From: sherdabear

Is it all right to set a Toddler ( 18 mos.) in front of a TV all night so that he can fall asleep.  He is awake all day and will not sleep at night.  The TV program is Blue's Clues and it is educational.  Sometimes they forget to put him into bed after he has fallen asleep. 
the other poster gave great advice...I would also add that a sound machine would probably be a good idea if the baby needs some noise to fall asleep to.
 
September 17, 2007, 1:10 am CDT

Where Should Your Child Sleep?

Quote From: sherdabear

Is it all right to set a Toddler ( 18 mos.) in front of a TV all night so that he can fall asleep.  He is awake all day and will not sleep at night.  The TV program is Blue's Clues and it is educational.  Sometimes they forget to put him into bed after he has fallen asleep. 

i don''t think it is ok to let a toddler fall asleep in front of the tv. my experience with children watching tv to fall asleep is that it takes much longer, because the tv keeps them awake, because they are concentrated on it, and follow the program. i think music is much better. soft calming music, that helps them calm down, but is not that interesting, so they won't concentrate on it. and further have a bed ritual which is the same everytime. baths help children to fall asleep, showers wake them up, so give him a bath if you can. good luck, annemiek

 
September 27, 2007, 9:59 pm CDT

ugh...

My daughter was 2 when I found out I was pregnant. I felt kinda guilty for being pregnant.... knowing that attention was going to be taken away from her when the new baby arrives. So, I started letting her sleep with me. Well, my son is now 16 months old and she is STILL IN MY BED!!!!!!!!! Even if I do put her to sleep in her own bed, when I wake up in the morning she will be right beside me. And, if I lock my door when I go to sleep, she would flip out and scream which would wake up my son (who is sleeping in his own bed, thank you God). My advice is.... do not let your child start sleeping with you unless you want them there FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
October 14, 2007, 7:16 pm CDT

Where Should Your Child Sleep?

Quote From: spin462002

Dear Barbara, I can relate to your dilemma. I have had the same one but my child is 11! (her name is Naomi) It has been a steep learning curve for me! We went through months of tears at bedtime, night lights, knocks on my bedroom door in the night, general insecurity and irrational fears for no apparent reason. Five years old is very young, and many children much older than that feel insecure or fearful at night for no apparent reason. I have come to see that MY attitude influences my daughter and her behaviour. I would feel guilty and confused when she cried, and see myself as being "too harsh" if I insisted she stayed in her bed and went to sleep without any fuss. Eventually a good friend suggested I might be contributing to the problem rather than enabling my daughter to overcome her fears and insecurities. Only a good friend can be that honest! I am blessed! I bought some good quality children's audio tapes and a player for them. I gave them to my daughter as a gift and she was delighted. She started to listen to them after I tucked her in and would easily fall asleep listening to them (very quietly). Sometimes she would still express fear about nothing in particular. I talked to her (she is 11 remember, I don't recommend this for a five year old) about her fears, reassured her and gave her ideas for dealing with her feelings herself. Rather than crying and feeling sorry for herself or being scared, she is allowed to get up and make herself a glass of milk and a cookie or listen to her tapes. This has worked as I have seen and understood that it is the only loving thing to do. We must extend our children emotionally, and we must do it lovingly without guilt. Now I can see that what I saw as "too harsh" was in fact loving kindness, helping her to manage her feelings and overcome her fears. My own confusion and guilt had only increased her own fear and confusion, and I had to be the one to change first! I hope this makes sense Barbara? Once I convinced myself I was a loving mommy who wanted what was best for my child, I was able to be firm and unwavering about the behaviour and my response to it. Children need firm loving guidance more than sympathy and fussing. Try the tape/cd player idea if it appeals to you. Even music might do the trick. Whatever is peaceful and sleep inducing! Once he can read to himself a whole new world will open up to him. Go through the bedtime routine and firmly say good night and switch the tape/music on very quietly. I can almost guarantee he will be asleep in no time and then it's only a matter of time before he forgets about the tape/cd and goes to sleep easier or later reads himself to sleep. Break the cycle and be firm but loving. No sympathy, no guilt. Just do what's best for him. Naomi now puts herself to bed and reads for a while before going to sleep. Before she could change, I had to. Know you are a kind loving mommy and be firm. Your son can only benefit long term. with love Lynn
I am so glad to hear that someone else is going through the same thing with their eleven year old.  I am just about at my wits end with mine.  We have tried numerous things to try and keep her in her own bed but she literally pulls these temper tantrums and cries and kicks and thrashes.  I am really scared of her traumatising herself by acting like that.  I have a seven year old that I put in her bed and within seconds she is out like a light and no questions asked.  I thought that by watching her that my oldest would want to try and do the same but no such luck.  My husband works away alot and and when he comes home he has to sleep in her bed which makes it really hard on our relationship.  You couldn't ask for a better child otherwise.  She is doing great in school and has a good head on her shoulders but slightly insecure of herself and this issue is not helping her with her confidence.  I have suggested the music thing with her and she refuses to do anything if it means her sleeping in her own bed.  When you ask her why or what the problem is she states "I don't know and don't have a reason", "I just want to sleep with you".  I am just lost for ideas ....any other suggestions?????
 
October 15, 2007, 8:58 am CDT

Ready to get my daughter out!

 My daughter, Layla, has slept with me since she was born.  It's worked well for both of us BUT I would like her in her own bed before next year when she starts school.

I'm emetophobic and I fear that she will get sick on me, lol. Everytime I mention getting her own bed she starts crying! I don't know what to do. I wouldn't even mind getting her a bed and  keeping it in my room...but she cries that she wants to sleep with me. I don't know what to do. I don't want her to feel like I'm rejecting her.
 
October 15, 2007, 4:04 pm CDT

Sleeping

Quote From: mybabylayla

 My daughter, Layla, has slept with me since she was born.  It's worked well for both of us BUT I would like her in her own bed before next year when she starts school.

I'm emetophobic and I fear that she will get sick on me, lol. Everytime I mention getting her own bed she starts crying! I don't know what to do. I wouldn't even mind getting her a bed and  keeping it in my room...but she cries that she wants to sleep with me. I don't know what to do. I don't want her to feel like I'm rejecting her.
You should just buy the bed don't talk to her about it until the bed comes. I know people use a reward system for chores and behaving well out in public you could try the same thing with sleeping. Give her a star everytime she sleeps in her bed even if its not a full night I would still say if she slept in it for a couple of hours give her a star, I would hope that before long she would get use to her new bed. My son hates sleeping in new areas even with me, it could just be that reason and she just has a fear once she understands she can still go to you anytime she will get use to it. Good luck.
 
November 3, 2007, 7:32 pm CDT

My sons

I let my sons (28 mos and 9 mos) dictate what they preferred from day one. I tried the bassinet in our room upon coming home from the hospital but neither of them liked it. So since I did want them in the room with me as I was nursing them, I put them in bed with me and they slept through the night immediately. When my older son was about 2months he didn't like being in bed with me anymore and I found he would sleep in his swing real well so that's what we did. (he hated his crib, it wasn't an option, yet). Then when he was about 4 mos I decided he was getting to big for the swing to be safe anymore and took a long weekend when my husband would be out of town with his army reserve unit, to get my son into his crib which was now set up in my room. Surprising to me he took to the crib immediately and that's where he stayed until this past August when I tried the toddler bed for about 2 weeks then went back to the crib and now he's in the toddler bed for good!

My baby co-slept with me for 2 months then went directly to his crib in his room without a fuss. He's been in there ever since.

Both kids have slept through the night from day one with the exception of when they were ill and just needed mommy snuggle time. As a matter of fact, we took a trip out of town twice with our oldest and both times we had a heck of a time getting him to sleep at night as he has to have his own space/room. He ends up sleeping in the hotel bathroom where it's dark and more quiet! It's not real convenient for me especially since the first trip I was pregnant with my second son but that's just the way it needed to be.
 
December 4, 2007, 10:09 pm CST

need advise

i have an 11 month old and just recently she started waking up about 11:30 at night and wont go back to sleep for about an hour.  i don't know how to change this, but it needs to change fast, it is making me so tiered durning the day.  PLEASE HELP ME

 
December 8, 2007, 8:56 am CST

Where Should Your Child Sleep?

Quote From: tinkerbell05

i have an 11 month old and just recently she started waking up about 11:30 at night and wont go back to sleep for about an hour.  i don't know how to change this, but it needs to change fast, it is making me so tiered durning the day.  PLEASE HELP ME

This is a developmental milestone.  I would when he or she wakes up to not go in the room right away.  babies sometimes often have arousal period from rem sleep.  they often sound like they are away and crying but they are just in an arousal state they usually if left alone will put themselves back to sleep.  My 6 month old does this and i usually just let him alone until he stops.  It usually takes a few minutes.  If your baby continues to cry go to him or her and them  let him or her know you are there but you won't pick him or her up.  Just rub the back and comfort but don't pick up and let him or her settle down, and leave the room.  I would wait a while maybe 10 minutes and see if he or she is back to sleep.  I would continue to go into the room every 10-15 minutes until he or she goes back to sleep.  Don't pick him or her up because he or she is learning to awaken and it is play time.  So comfort but don't pick up.  I would get Dr Brazelton's book and read it about sleeping. 
 
December 27, 2007, 11:52 am CST

co-sleeping? is it ok?

I'll try to not make this too long....I have a 2 yr old and her father and I have been separated since April, due to his infidelity and I just couldn't put up w/ it anymore. Even though I hated to split the baby's family, I couldn't trust him at all.
So, I started a new relationship with a friend of a friend about 5 months ago (4 months after our split) and things went really good there for awhile. We get along well and he's been basically living at my house for the past few months...his family even joke and refer to me as "the wife".
Problem begins when my 2 yr old won't sleep in her own bed. She wants to sleep in mommys bed.....she started this about 2 months ago and since I'm feeling so guilty about me and her dads split, I want to comfort her and I let her sleep in my bed. I probably like her there as much as she wants to be there. Well, my boyfriend was sleeping on the couch when she is at my house(and not her dads-which we do 50/50), but has now said he's going back to his mom and dads house because he doesn't agree with allowing her to sleep with me and he doesn't see me changing the situation. I told him that maybe she sees him as a threat for my attention toward her and maybe it would be best if he did stay at his parents til I can get her back in her own bed...which I'm changing from crib to toddler bed today...and he can call me if he wants to go out sometime, but he said if he moves his stuff out of my place, he can promise he won't be calling me, ever. He was full of advise he saw on Nanny 911, but I don't think he has a clue. He has a 1 yr old son that has no prob sleeping in his pack-n-play and my bf says he'll never allow his son to get away with anything less.
I don't want to lose him, but I also can't have my baby screaming and crying "mommy" every night to sleep. That totally breaks my heart! I'm afraid she feels the separation with her parents and a new guy (who she LOVES and doesn't stop asking about) coming into the pic and feels threatened w/ the whole attention thing. She means the world to me. I love my bfriend and want him in my life. I feel like I'm being forced to choose between the two. I need honest opinions and suggestions to help me one way or the other. Help!!!!!
By the way.....she sleeps w/ daddy when she is w/ him...he said he won't change that..he can't stand her being upset.
 
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