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Topic : Where Should Your Child Sleep?

Number of Replies: 261
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Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 12:59:51 pm
Author : dataimport
Does your child sleep in a crib, his own bed, or with you? Tell us what works for your family.

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January 1, 2008, 9:22 pm CST

Where Should Your Child Sleep?

Quote From: kimber1869

I'll try to not make this too long....I have a 2 yr old and her father and I have been separated since April, due to his infidelity and I just couldn't put up w/ it anymore. Even though I hated to split the baby's family, I couldn't trust him at all.
So, I started a new relationship with a friend of a friend about 5 months ago (4 months after our split) and things went really good there for awhile. We get along well and he's been basically living at my house for the past few months...his family even joke and refer to me as "the wife".
Problem begins when my 2 yr old won't sleep in her own bed. She wants to sleep in mommys bed.....she started this about 2 months ago and since I'm feeling so guilty about me and her dads split, I want to comfort her and I let her sleep in my bed. I probably like her there as much as she wants to be there. Well, my boyfriend was sleeping on the couch when she is at my house(and not her dads-which we do 50/50), but has now said he's going back to his mom and dads house because he doesn't agree with allowing her to sleep with me and he doesn't see me changing the situation. I told him that maybe she sees him as a threat for my attention toward her and maybe it would be best if he did stay at his parents til I can get her back in her own bed...which I'm changing from crib to toddler bed today...and he can call me if he wants to go out sometime, but he said if he moves his stuff out of my place, he can promise he won't be calling me, ever. He was full of advise he saw on Nanny 911, but I don't think he has a clue. He has a 1 yr old son that has no prob sleeping in his pack-n-play and my bf says he'll never allow his son to get away with anything less.
I don't want to lose him, but I also can't have my baby screaming and crying "mommy" every night to sleep. That totally breaks my heart! I'm afraid she feels the separation with her parents and a new guy (who she LOVES and doesn't stop asking about) coming into the pic and feels threatened w/ the whole attention thing. She means the world to me. I love my bfriend and want him in my life. I feel like I'm being forced to choose between the two. I need honest opinions and suggestions to help me one way or the other. Help!!!!!
By the way.....she sleeps w/ daddy when she is w/ him...he said he won't change that..he can't stand her being upset.

One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to feel guilty and allow that to change the way you parent. Also just because you ex does one thing at his house does not mean you have to do the same at yours. Children are alot smarter than people give them credit for. They will understand we do this at daddy's and we do this at mommy's. This is not to say that they will instantly understand this, but you have to do what you believe in your gut is the right thing to do and stick to it. DO NOT let guilt or any other emotion change that. And here's a thought that you might want to consider. We start learning behavior at a very young age. Do you want to teach your child that it's ok for her to live with her boyfriends? Because whether you like it or not we lead our children by example. Every action your child sees you do they are going to learn it and think it's the right thing to do because their role model (parents) are doing it. And telling them to do what you say and not what you do won't change that.

 

Here's what I did with my daughter when she went to a toddler bed. Find her most beloved character in her life. Exa: My daughter LOVESSSSS elmo more than anything else. So the toddler bed I bought was an Elmo toddler bed. She loved the idea of sleeping with elmo on her bed. And on the rare occasion that she didn't want to sleep in the elmo bed, instead of letting her sleep with me, I layed beside her bed holding her hand until she fell asleep. I only had to do this 3 times and she's been in her Elmo bed for over a year now.

 
January 14, 2008, 11:26 am CST

How to get my son in his own bed!

Alright, so i have a 14 month old and i am having the hardest time getting him to sleep in his bed. He shares our room with us and it has been hard getting him to fall asleep in his bed and just as hard to get him to stay in his bed. When he wakes up he can throw such a terrible fit! Leaving him in his bed to cry it out is hard because we live with other family, who need their sleep and he can cry forever! It seems that way. sometimes i have to walk outside our room just to get him to calm down.

Trying to get him to sleep in his bed is hard. We can't lay him in his crib without him crying. When he falls asleep, we have to be careful when putting him in his bed because the second he wakes up and realizes he's in his bed he throw that fit again until we pick him up and put him in our bed to fall back asleep.

Any advice, whats helped you?

 
April 18, 2008, 9:24 pm CDT

Where Should Your Child Sleep?

Quote From: jdavid

Alright, so i have a 14 month old and i am having the hardest time getting him to sleep in his bed. He shares our room with us and it has been hard getting him to fall asleep in his bed and just as hard to get him to stay in his bed. When he wakes up he can throw such a terrible fit! Leaving him in his bed to cry it out is hard because we live with other family, who need their sleep and he can cry forever! It seems that way. sometimes i have to walk outside our room just to get him to calm down.

Trying to get him to sleep in his bed is hard. We can't lay him in his crib without him crying. When he falls asleep, we have to be careful when putting him in his bed because the second he wakes up and realizes he's in his bed he throw that fit again until we pick him up and put him in our bed to fall back asleep.

Any advice, whats helped you?

Hi! I don't know if this advice with help, but good luck with it if you try it! Do you have a nighttime routine with your son? Like reading him a bedtime story, tucking him in, etc? If not, maybe you should try that. How about a nightlight? I have a 16 month old and luckily I don't have any problems with her sleeping on her own.. but there have been a few nights where she just didn't want to sleep and I give her a few toys to play with .. She has a little jukebox music thing thats in her bed with her.. maybe you could try something like that with your son. Good luck and I hope you can get him to calm down.. :]

 
June 12, 2008, 1:00 pm CDT

HELP PLEASE!

I have a almost 13 month old and I can not get her to sleep in her own crib for anything. She has been sleeping in the bed with her dad and me for about the past 5 months. I am starting to deeply regret ever letting her to start to sleep with us. I am also 5 months pregnant and my belly is getting bigger so I need more space to sleep. I have tried putting her in her crib during the day to take her nap but she starts screaming. I have tried just leaving her in there to see if she would cry herself to sleep. But she just cries and screams until she actually makes herself throw up. She will fall asleep on the couch if I'm holding her  or sitting next to her but once she wakes up and realizes i am not next to her she starts screaming. I am really desperate at this point, I don't know what to do. I need to get her to sleep in her own bed before the baby comes but I have no idea how to make that happen. If anyone has any suggestions or ideas that worked for them I would greatly appreciate it, thank you.
 
June 30, 2008, 10:04 am CDT

Where Should Your Child Sleep?

I co-slept with both of my children.   My son is almost five and my daughter is three.  Both are in their own room, own bed and never once did either have to cry it out.  My son never slept one day in crib and the crib was sold and gone even before my daughter was born so she never had a choice.  I will admit it's not the best for the sex life, but such a short time in yours and their lives.  I let them both sleep with us until my son was three and my daughter was 2.5.  We actually at one point had two queen beds pushed together to get space.  Don't get me wrong, sometimes the sneak into bed with us and to me thats fine.  I wouldn't have changed anything.
 
July 24, 2008, 7:57 am CDT

My toddler wont go into her bed!!

I have a 21 month old little girl. That will not sleep in her bed. Shes always slept with us, from the beggining, I was afraid of sids when she was in her bassinet I would be waking up like every 5 minutes to check on her so i moved her into the bed and it was so much easier. When she was about 6 months ole i started trying to put her in her crib but it didnt work. So now shes 21 months ole 32 pounds and we have a small full size bed!! we bought her a toddler bed with a little canopy and everything on it thinking maybe shed feel more comfortable. No ways shes not havin it. I cant just let her cry for hours. Weve tried putting her in her bed when she goes to sleep, an hour later shes up cryin running in our room. shes getting so big and needs that independence. I dont know how to get her in her bed though we have tried everything. So if someone has any good ideas. please help. Im really in need!!! My privacy and sex life is at stake here!
 
July 25, 2008, 10:54 am CDT

family bed!

Im not sure if I need help or if im offering it to be honest :)

I learnt loosley about a book that came out in the 60's called the Family Bed. To be honest I never read the book but when I heard the basic concept I wanted to do that when my children were 1 y/o & upwards until the age of 5.

When my 1st son was born he'd cry NON-STOP - which we found out later was related to my weak breast milk, rather than my "bad-mothering" so in he came to my (our) bed.

From about 6 months onwards he was fully out of a cot and in with us. To make it safer we resorted to taking the legs off our bed so we were closer to the floor and put a single mattress next to us "just incase" it got cramped lol

Anyway my son just turned 3. He sleeps on a single bed which is against our bed. He tops and tails with his brother who is 1 & 1/2 and they crawl over quite often. With the younger one he'll come over about 2 or 3 times a night. Sometimes if he's sick or if its particularly cold I'll let him stay but usually I get up and put him straight back in his bed.

They're really getting the concept of their own bed and im REALLY enjoying my own space again cuddling up to my husband.

They're confident and secure (not that I can really know) but they're happy and are pretty well behaved.

Then I watched some nannying program recently and suddenly feel like I'm not allowing them to be independant.

I know the bedding situation is prob more about me than them but I thought it was working...

Any thoughts or ideas?
 
August 4, 2008, 4:10 pm CDT

Where Should Your Child Sleep?

Quote From: jenna2108

I have a 21 month old little girl. That will not sleep in her bed. Shes always slept with us, from the beggining, I was afraid of sids when she was in her bassinet I would be waking up like every 5 minutes to check on her so i moved her into the bed and it was so much easier. When she was about 6 months ole i started trying to put her in her crib but it didnt work. So now shes 21 months ole 32 pounds and we have a small full size bed!! we bought her a toddler bed with a little canopy and everything on it thinking maybe shed feel more comfortable. No ways shes not havin it. I cant just let her cry for hours. Weve tried putting her in her bed when she goes to sleep, an hour later shes up cryin running in our room. shes getting so big and needs that independence. I dont know how to get her in her bed though we have tried everything. So if someone has any good ideas. please help. Im really in need!!! My privacy and sex life is at stake here!
Acually you can let her cry for hours. a child has never died from crying. I know it my be hard on you but it my only take a few nights. I have put books and mega blocks that my son can play with until he is ready to sleep. you might want to try that. good luck and let her cry it out for a few nights.
 
February 10, 2009, 8:46 am CST

Break the co-sleeping habit

Read Dr. Levine's new book, "Break the Co-Sleeping Habit" to learn how to teach your toddler or preschooler--or older child--to sleep independently.  You can learn how to become a leader for your children and set better bedtime boundaries so that everyone in the household can get good quality sleep and function better during the day.  VIsit amazon.com or my website www.breakthecosleepinghabit.com

 
February 15, 2009, 6:02 pm CST

Where Should Your Child Sleep?

Quote From: proudmommie

Acually you can let her cry for hours. a child has never died from crying. I know it my be hard on you but it my only take a few nights. I have put books and mega blocks that my son can play with until he is ready to sleep. you might want to try that. good luck and let her cry it out for a few nights.
Some children will cry it out for a few nights and fall asleep on their own. Unfortunately that is not my child. I let him try and cry it out for 5 nights in a row. After about 2 1/2 hours each night I went in and got him. So it is up to your child. My baby is now 7 1/2 months old. At 6 months we put him in his room in his own crib. Before that he was in our room beside out bed in a playpen. This worked out great for us.
 
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