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Topic : Where Should Your Child Sleep?

Number of Replies: 261
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 12:59:51 pm
Author : dataimport
Does your child sleep in a crib, his own bed, or with you? Tell us what works for your family.

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November 2, 2005, 5:25 pm CST

Where Should Your Child Sleep?

so you have a three month old son, that is so great.  Mine is 2 months!!  Since he sleeps with you at night, do you think you are going to have problems with him sleeping on his own? and has anyone given you any advice on how to get him to sleep on his own, when you are ready?  People have told me that when we are ready, to just let him cry himself to sleep, and that sometimes he could cry for an hour.  i just dont know if that is right?!!
 
November 2, 2005, 8:27 pm CST

give it a try

Quote From: jcollins68

I HAVE A 2 YEAR OLD SON THAT STILL SLEEPS WITH MY HUSBAND AND I. I LOVE THAT HE SLEEPS WITH US, TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH I CAN NOT SLEEP WITH OUT HIM (MY SON). MY HUSBAND ON THE OTHER HAND HATES IT.  HE SAYS THAT I AM TOO EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED TO OUR SON.  IT IS VERY FRUSTRATING FOR ME BECAUSE ME AND MY HUSBAND ARE ALWAYS ARGUING ABOUT  WEATHER OR NOT HE SHOULD STILL BE IN BED WITH US. MY HUSBAND SEEMS TO THINK THAT HIM STILL BEING IN BED WITH US WILL MAKE HIM NOT ABLE TO BE INDEPENDENT WHEN HE GETS OLDER. I THINK THAT HE IS READING WAY TO MUCH INTO IT. MY SON IS ONLY 2 YRS. OLD, HE IS STILL PRETTY MUCH A BABY. I JUST DON'T WANT HIM TO GROW UP TO FAST. I SLEPT WITH MY MOM UNTIL I WAS 10 YRS. OLD. MY HUSBAND HAS STARTED TO SLEEP IN THE SPARE BEDROOM B/C HE GETS SO UPSET. AM I WRONG TO DISAGREE WITH MY HUSBAND? 

  

JAMIE

If your husband has such a big problem with it, it may be to your advantage to at least try to get him to sleep alone.  Trust me, he'll be fine and so will you, but it might take some adjusting on both of your parts.  Make a plan with your husband, when, how much, etc your son will sleep alone.  I doubt you want your husband to begin to feel resentful.  Your child can still be independent when he's older even if he sleeps with you, but you may want to begin to teach him that it's ok to sleep alone now.  I had a lot of sleep issues with my daughter (she's 14 month now) and it seemed like she rejected the crib from the first day we brought her home.  I liked having her sleep with me, but I needed to wean her (still working on that) and I needed my rest (still working on that too) and that was next to impossible with her next to me in bed.  It took a lot of trial and error to get her to sleep alone for any length of time, but the longer you wait the harder it may be.  One more thing - whatever you do, don't feel guilty about it!  It will be good for your son in the long run.  You are teaching him to have good sleep habits for the rest of his life.  Kids can sense when you feel bad about something and he may make a negative association with sleeping alone.  There is a book I want to recommend to you - "The No Cry Sleep Method" by Elizabeth Pantley.  It had a lot of good suggestions.  In the end I did have to let my daughter cry some, but she ended up crying for about 5 minutes and then she was out like a light.  I could deal with 5 minutes.  :)  Good Luck!
 
November 3, 2005, 7:33 pm CST

Need my 2 1/2 yr old to go to bed on his own

Problem:  I used to rock my son to sleep.  He will not go to bed without me rocking him, or laying down with him until he's asleep.  He's always slept in his own bed, so that's not a problem.  I need advice on how to break him of needing me in there or rocking him to sleep.  I'd love to be able to say "bedtime" and he just go into his bed, lay down, and go to sleep. 

 
November 3, 2005, 11:56 pm CST

Where Should Your Child Sleep?

Quote From: justjess

I have a 3month old son and he sleeps in the bed with me.   In the beginning he was eating every 2 hours so I just got used to it.  My husband worked graveyard shifts so he was tired most of the time.  Babies aren't exactly quiet when they eat, so he would naturally get annoyed and sleep in the baby's room.  I have the bassinet right next to our bed.  I'll put him down at night in it but when he wakes up to eat, I feed him and then we fall asleep.  It has been a bit strenuous on my marriage, I would love to sleep in the same bed as my husband but my son comes first right now.  My mother in law keeps trying to get me to put him in his crib already but I'm definitely not ready for him to be in his own room.  I feel as though nobody understands why I won't do it.  It's nice to see that there's other moms that are doing the same.  I'll put him in his own bed when I'M READY!!!
Before Jane was born we did a lot of research on co-sleeping versus cribs and the evidence seems to indicate that co-sleeping leads to more independant, confident kids with less security issues later in life. Putting a child in a box in a another room and letting them cry seems to be less advantageous for the child than having them tucked up safe against you. I know some Pediatricians are concerned about SIDS and smothering, and I do not know the stats on that, but Jane is braver and more confidant than other 14 moth olds I have known, so it seems to have worked for her. Before anyone else flames me for the above, know that I do not think that if the parents are geting no sleep or the child is really fussy that they should persist with co-sleeping. Better the mother should be well-rested rahter than homicidally exausted. :)
 
November 3, 2005, 11:57 pm CST

Where Should Your Child Sleep?

Quote From: rmickelson

Problem:  I used to rock my son to sleep.  He will not go to bed without me rocking him, or laying down with him until he's asleep.  He's always slept in his own bed, so that's not a problem.  I need advice on how to break him of needing me in there or rocking him to sleep.  I'd love to be able to say "bedtime" and he just go into his bed, lay down, and go to sleep. 

Wouldn't we all! I think you may just have to wait until he is older for that, say 23 or so. :)
 
November 8, 2005, 8:46 pm CST

Where should your child sleep?

  

Hi, I have an 8-month-old and he has slept with me and my husband since coming home from the hospital.  we tried the co-sleeper bassinet, and his own crib but he just was not happy.  I do not believe in "crying it out".  So he slept with us up until a week ago.  Because he became very active, and a few times i woke up just in time to see him crawling towards the end of the bed . . we decided it was time to transition him.  He now sleeps on his crib mattress on our floor next to the bed.  I am still nursing him so he tends to nurse at 11pm and then again around 2pm, i just crawl on the floor and nurse him.  its a little more effort on my part but i think it is working fine.  We will move him into his room once he stops one of the feedings . . .I'll keep you posted . . 

  

Wendy 

 
November 22, 2005, 1:31 am CST

Where Should Your Child Sleep?

Quote From: wendygrie

  

Hi, I have an 8-month-old and he has slept with me and my husband since coming home from the hospital.  we tried the co-sleeper bassinet, and his own crib but he just was not happy.  I do not believe in "crying it out".  So he slept with us up until a week ago.  Because he became very active, and a few times i woke up just in time to see him crawling towards the end of the bed . . we decided it was time to transition him.  He now sleeps on his crib mattress on our floor next to the bed.  I am still nursing him so he tends to nurse at 11pm and then again around 2pm, i just crawl on the floor and nurse him.  its a little more effort on my part but i think it is working fine.  We will move him into his room once he stops one of the feedings . . .I'll keep you posted . . 

  

Wendy 

Do u think that havin a baby sleeping on the floor next to ur bed is a good idea...?? what happens if u have a fire in ur house and in the rush to get out off ur bed u trip over the sleeping child..??  how would u like to sleep on the floor every nite... the child should be in a cot or in a bed...i have 4 daughters from 8 yrs to 20 yrs and they all slept in a bed from the day they came home from the hospital...
 
November 22, 2005, 10:45 am CST

New Mom

You should have been at my house during the first month my son was home.  My husband doesn't really care for the whole co-parenting thing when it comes to waking up in the middle of the night so I did it then and I still do it now.  When Daniel came home he looked so small in his crib that I put him to sleep in his bassinet, next to our bed.  When he woke up he would wake up me and my husband.  This resulted in me sleeping on the couch for the first month beacause my husband was not happy about being woken up during the night.  Finally my mom started putting Daniel to sleep in his crib when she came to visit and now that's where he stays.  I figured he'd never get to the crib but he sleeps in there the best now, almost always straight through the night.  I don't support allowing kids, at any age, sleeping in anyone's bed.  It just gets too hard to break them of the habit when their older.
 
November 22, 2005, 2:51 pm CST

anything is possible

Quote From: barrie

Wouldn't we all! I think you may just have to wait until he is older for that, say 23 or so. :)

Anything you want to happen can.  Unfortuantely we are all lead by emotion to some degree.  It is very easy for some people to say something is easy, but they aren't you.  what is basic in one house could be non existant in another.  Instead of asking a board of strangers (i did the same thing-not putting you down) ask people with similar values, morals and with children hopefully a little older than yours so you see their results.  It is all about weighing things out.  If it works for your household than it works.  I used to nurse my daughter to sleep until 11 months, rocked/danced her to sleep until 14 months and then my back couldn't take it.  (I would probably do it differently now, but that is me and she was my first.  To break her of needing so much of me I put her into a twin bed on the floor at a year and just sat beside her in bed rubbing her back.  I think sometimes I would pick her up and rock her but always sitting down.  Within a week, i could just rub her tummy.  Within a couple of months I could jsut fold laundry in her room while she drifted off.   

I beleive that children need to be taught how to sleep just like we teach them to eat, to walk, to potty train.  Spending the extra time early on has allowed my daughter to not fear bedtime now.  She has never cried when i say it is night night time.  Every child that I know who has been left alone to cry in a room cries at the word bedtime.   

My way may not work, but you just have to find what works for you and your family.  Babies just want to be close with their parents, its human nature.   

 
November 25, 2005, 9:22 am CST

Co-sleeping runs in my family!

Hi! I'm a 21 year old mother of two. My oldest, Emmalee, just turned 2 this month, and my youngest is Alecxander and he's 3.5 months old. I've co-slept with Emmalee pretty much from the day we brought her home from the hospital. We tried to get her to sleep in a crib the first few nights, and I was trying to breastfeed, but she would wake up every half hour or so. 

 

The delivery had been very difficult (it took me almost 3 months to be able to leave my house and not be in pain after 5 minutes) so it was hard for me to get up and down and out of bed so much. My husband has worked third shift since the day we met, and so it was just me with her at night, so I wound up taking her into the bed with me. Immediately, we were sleeping 8-10 hours a night. She still sleeps with me now. 

 

When I became pregnant with our son, we talked about what we wanted to do. I was nervous about co-sleeping with an infant and a toddler by myself, so we agreed when he was born, we'd try the crib again. Well, I wanted to breastfeed, and even though the delivery was fairly easy, the first few nights we did it backwards and I tried to sleep with him on one end of the couch and our daughter on the other end. He was waking up just as often as she had at first, and neither she or I were getting any sleep, so I moved him into a crib and she and I slept in my bed again. But he was still waking up every hour, to nurse, at 6 weeks. So, I did some research. The crib he sleeps in has a flat mattress, almost like a soft floor surface, and I decided that I would try putting him to sleep on his tummy. The first night I did, we all slept 10 hours, with me waking up nervously every so often to check on him. 

 

Only recently has he started waking me up every 3 hours or so. I think he could be teething, and I don't believe in CIO, so it's tough, but I can function very well on the amount of sleep I get. 

 

My parents successfully co-slept with 4 kids, and my youngest brother, the 5th and youngest of us, is adopted, and my parents were mid-50's before he came to live with us. He slept in a crib for the first couple of years and then boucned between siblings beds until my eldest sister moved out the house to go to college. By that time he had started sleeping on the couch in the living room because it was firm and comfortable and he wasn't liking the waterbeds we all had. When my older brother went to college, the youngest took his room. 

 

We all transitioned to our own beds when we were either ready or when another baby was on the way. My parents took the time to explain to us that it was time for the baby to share with them and that if we needed them, they were right in the next room and could hear us or be in our rooms in a matter of seconds. They had no problems, and none of us have sleep issues, so I'm not worried. My daughter will transition when she's ready and comfortable. 

 

Maria 

 
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