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Topic : Where Should Your Child Sleep?

Number of Replies: 261
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 12:59:51 pm
Author : dataimport
Does your child sleep in a crib, his own bed, or with you? Tell us what works for your family.

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December 13, 2005, 7:19 pm CST

Where Should Your Child Sleep?

Quote From: coppertopp

Do u think that havin a baby sleeping on the floor next to ur bed is a good idea...?? what happens if u have a fire in ur house and in the rush to get out off ur bed u trip over the sleeping child..??  how would u like to sleep on the floor every nite... the child should be in a cot or in a bed...i have 4 daughters from 8 yrs to 20 yrs and they all slept in a bed from the day they came home from the hospital...
I appreciate your feedback, but do not believe it is constructive. . There is no set rule that states where a child should sleep, i'm sure my baby would much rather sleep on his mattress in our room on the floor, than in his crib where he would "cry it out."  As far as safety. . he is not exactly next to my bed where he would roll under it or get stepped on,  he is next to the wall a bit away from my bed, so i would not step on him, even if i were in a rush etc. i would know my baby was there.  I believe this is the best situation for my family.
 
December 15, 2005, 5:46 pm CST

Where Should Your Child Sleep?

Quote From: wendygrie

I appreciate your feedback, but do not believe it is constructive. . There is no set rule that states where a child should sleep, i'm sure my baby would much rather sleep on his mattress in our room on the floor, than in his crib where he would "cry it out."  As far as safety. . he is not exactly next to my bed where he would roll under it or get stepped on,  he is next to the wall a bit away from my bed, so i would not step on him, even if i were in a rush etc. i would know my baby was there.  I believe this is the best situation for my family.

  

I agree that you should do whatever is best for YOUR situation.  No one can know how stressed or crazy it is to have a child that doesn't sleep - unless they've gone through it.   


My 19 month old boy has NEVER slept.   When he was an infant he was in a bassinet next to the bed for the first couple of months then we moved him to his own crib in the other room where he eventually started sleeping 3 or 4 hours at a time before waking up for his feeding.  Then... teething hit and he was up every 1-2 hours.  I was EXHAUSTED running from my room to his room to my room to his room -- pick him up, feed him, rock him, put him back to sleep then crawl back to bed only to do it all 60-90 minutes later.  And then shortly after that he was starting to pull himself up (he was walking by 9 months).  So we had to lower the crib mattress to keep him locked in.  Being short I couldn't lean over to lay him in the bottom.  He felt me lowering him down and would INSTANTLY wake up again and start the crying all over again.   

  

Totally unrelated, a friend of mine (a Montessouri teacher) gave me a book to read about some of the ideals of their methods, and there was a brief mention in one of the books about how children's rooms should be build for children - things at their height so they can reach, such as putting their bed on the floor. 

  

Well, my husband and I though, what the heck? I couldn't get any worse could it?  So, out went the crib.  We put his crib mattress on the floor in the corner, and bought a larger single mattress to put beside it and block it in.   I was suddenly able to actually get some SLEEP!!! YAY!   I didn't have to get up and run from room to room.  I would start out in our room then when he woke up after midnight I could just go in and feed him/comfort him and fall asleep there.   

  

VOILA. 

  

He's 19 months old and we still have the same arrangement - two mattresses on the floor - but he sleeps a lot longer now.   I put him to bed then go sleep in our room.  When he wakes up (usually at 3am) I'll go to his room, give him his bottle of water, and then I usually fall right back asleep on my mattress beside his mattress and he usually goes right back to sleep too.  Now EVERYONE sleeps.   He's happy 'cause Mommy is close.  I'm happy cause i'm not running from room to room all night (especially in the winter), and my husband is happy because I'm not waking him up when I run back and forth every couple of hours!    Eventually we'll just take the crib mattress away and he can have the single, but he's always sleeping in HIS room not in Mommy and Daddy's room.  So he knows his room is where he goes to bed.   

  

I do have to say - waking up to his happy little "hiiii" and his little kisses in the morning is something I won't part with very easily! 

  

So.  DO WHAT WORKS and damn all the advice from friends and family (especially those without kids!!!) 

 
December 20, 2005, 1:59 pm CST

please help!

I am a single father with a 3 year old daughter. I live at home do to financial reasons. The mother and I have 50/50, i have my daughter every tuesdays- wed and every other weekend. Its been ahrd lately with puttin her to bed. She will be turning 4 this up coming year and I feel she has gotten to the age where she can sleep in bed alone. We share a bedroom and iknow that is part of it, she needs her own room. my goal for this up coming year is to get out on my own feet so she can have her own room. To me we have accomplished some but not  a lot in the past 3-6 months. she used to sleep in my bed with me bu i finally broke the habit.  she is to big to be sleepin in my bed. Iwan t her to loveme but there are other way I can do it. i want her to be independent and be ablel to do things with out me. she is very smart and can do A LOT herself but she chooses to have me help her. is this an attention thing? I give her a lot of attention, i think at least. If I dont help her its a big flip out,it takes my 100% attention for 30 moinutes to calmher down and explain to her that she can throw her own trash away and out her plat ein the sick ( there is a stool just for her so she can reach) its odd thought , one day she will do it and the next she says she cant. what I am trying toget at is how can I get her to fall asleep with out me having to lie with her until she does fall asleep? how can I keep her from flipping out when i leave the room? do i just let her cry herself to sleep? wil she get over it? how can i get her to stop saying " ihave to sleep with you daddy, I cant sleep alone?" ive tried talking to her and telling her she is okay and that im here for her. ive done the night light, ive asked her to tell me what she is affraid of. she just tells me " mom says you have to sleep with me" could her mom have a big part in this? her mom still sleep with her in bed, says shes to young to sleep alone or walk or feed herself. plese help me!!  

 
December 20, 2005, 3:04 pm CST

I am the same way

Quote From: jcollins68

I HAVE A 2 YEAR OLD SON THAT STILL SLEEPS WITH MY HUSBAND AND I. I LOVE THAT HE SLEEPS WITH US, TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH I CAN NOT SLEEP WITH OUT HIM (MY SON). MY HUSBAND ON THE OTHER HAND HATES IT.  HE SAYS THAT I AM TOO EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED TO OUR SON.  IT IS VERY FRUSTRATING FOR ME BECAUSE ME AND MY HUSBAND ARE ALWAYS ARGUING ABOUT  WEATHER OR NOT HE SHOULD STILL BE IN BED WITH US. MY HUSBAND SEEMS TO THINK THAT HIM STILL BEING IN BED WITH US WILL MAKE HIM NOT ABLE TO BE INDEPENDENT WHEN HE GETS OLDER. I THINK THAT HE IS READING WAY TO MUCH INTO IT. MY SON IS ONLY 2 YRS. OLD, HE IS STILL PRETTY MUCH A BABY. I JUST DON'T WANT HIM TO GROW UP TO FAST. I SLEPT WITH MY MOM UNTIL I WAS 10 YRS. OLD. MY HUSBAND HAS STARTED TO SLEEP IN THE SPARE BEDROOM B/C HE GETS SO UPSET. AM I WRONG TO DISAGREE WITH MY HUSBAND? 

  

JAMIE

My daughter is 2+. She has slept with me since day one. the nurses had to pry her out my arms at night in the hospital so I could rest. My situation is a little different though. My husband works in the construction world so he is home 3 to 4 days a month, depending on where he is located. When he is home for that one weekend, my daughter falls asleep with us then when I'm sure she's asleep I transfer her to her bed. I hate sleeping without her, I wake up in the middle of the night looking for her. So I don't see anything wrong with it, but I know alot of people who think I am crazy for this also.  I have also read that putting your children in a room by themselves and let them cry will cause dependecy issues later on. Now if there is any truth to it I don't know. I say do what works for you. If it bothers your husband so much, try letting him fall asleep with you then putting him in his bed. Then everybody will be happy. It works for me.    

                        Sweet Dreams- Jessica 

 
December 20, 2005, 3:18 pm CST

Where Should Your Child Sleep?

I believe the marriage relationship is just as imporant as the children and parents should be in agreement about the sleeping arrangements with their kids. If one parent is having to sleep in a different room because the other insists that their child sleep with them then there will be problems, and the marriage will suffer. Yes, children are very imporant and needs their parents, but putting off a spouse will not work. Happens all the time with couples who put their own desires ahead of the other, there must be the agreement and goals set by both together. My children sleep with us on occasions and once in w hile either daddy or I will sleep on the couch but no way would I ever tell my husband that co-sleeping is the thing to do, I think if it works then couples have the right to do it but they should be on the same page, it is nothing for my kids to fall asleep in my bed at times but chances are they will be picked up and put in theri own beds and sometimes they even sleep in the same bed together and sometimes even like to camp out in the living room, no problem with that, at least every one is happy and hubby and I agree on the arrangement, and that is imporant.
 
December 20, 2005, 3:26 pm CST

Where Should Your Child Sleep?

Quote From: iluvher

I am a single father with a 3 year old daughter. I live at home do to financial reasons. The mother and I have 50/50, i have my daughter every tuesdays- wed and every other weekend. Its been ahrd lately with puttin her to bed. She will be turning 4 this up coming year and I feel she has gotten to the age where she can sleep in bed alone. We share a bedroom and iknow that is part of it, she needs her own room. my goal for this up coming year is to get out on my own feet so she can have her own room. To me we have accomplished some but not  a lot in the past 3-6 months. she used to sleep in my bed with me bu i finally broke the habit.  she is to big to be sleepin in my bed. Iwan t her to loveme but there are other way I can do it. i want her to be independent and be ablel to do things with out me. she is very smart and can do A LOT herself but she chooses to have me help her. is this an attention thing? I give her a lot of attention, i think at least. If I dont help her its a big flip out,it takes my 100% attention for 30 moinutes to calmher down and explain to her that she can throw her own trash away and out her plat ein the sick ( there is a stool just for her so she can reach) its odd thought , one day she will do it and the next she says she cant. what I am trying toget at is how can I get her to fall asleep with out me having to lie with her until she does fall asleep? how can I keep her from flipping out when i leave the room? do i just let her cry herself to sleep? wil she get over it? how can i get her to stop saying " ihave to sleep with you daddy, I cant sleep alone?" ive tried talking to her and telling her she is okay and that im here for her. ive done the night light, ive asked her to tell me what she is affraid of. she just tells me " mom says you have to sleep with me" could her mom have a big part in this? her mom still sleep with her in bed, says shes to young to sleep alone or walk or feed herself. plese help me!!  

One thing that I have always done is play soft music as my children lie down, I talk to them for a few minutes and we read and pray. Luckily, I have never really had too many problems in this area so hopefully, maybe it will help you. Another thing you could do is set a timer maybe for 15 minutes the first couple of nights and tell her that if she lays there for at least until the timer goes off then she can get up and go to the normal setting, then gradually set the timer for a little bit longer, maybe eventually she will fall asleep before the timer goes off. When the timer goes off and she comes in to you, praise her for staying in her bed for that long and even if she doesn't give her compliments maybe something like, "well that's ok, you did really good and you almost did it, we will try tomorrow night and I bet you will do it", then the next night, set the timer for a little less time then the night before if she didn't quite make it through the night before, may give her a boost of encouragement and a sense of accomplishment. Whatever you do, you have to be consistent and stick to the plan. Maybe even put a baby gate up in her door way so you can keep the door open, maybe that will help as well......................
 
December 21, 2005, 2:05 pm CST

2 year old not sleeping

I am a parent going thru a divorce right now and my 2 year old daughter is not going to bed for me very well. This is the routine that I use: 6pm is dinner around 7:30 is her bath, then we watch a quiet movie, and then I tell her it is time for bed, she goes in there but then she screams like she is hurting and I don't know what to do. She wakes up at 5am and starts screaming too. There is no one to help me or releave me when this happens. I have a radio on with quiet music and I have 2 nightlights on for her. There are noises outside but I can't do anything about them, we live in the 3 story of an apartment. Please help with any Ideas Email at HoneyBear7703@yahoo.com
 
December 21, 2005, 2:21 pm CST

Where Should Your Child Sleep?

Quote From: kyrose

I am a parent going thru a divorce right now and my 2 year old daughter is not going to bed for me very well. This is the routine that I use: 6pm is dinner around 7:30 is her bath, then we watch a quiet movie, and then I tell her it is time for bed, she goes in there but then she screams like she is hurting and I don't know what to do. She wakes up at 5am and starts screaming too. There is no one to help me or releave me when this happens. I have a radio on with quiet music and I have 2 nightlights on for her. There are noises outside but I can't do anything about them, we live in the 3 story of an apartment. Please help with any Ideas Email at HoneyBear7703@yahoo.com

Hi! Maybe I can offer some advice that might help.  Are you in a new apartment? My daughter is also two years old, she has no problem sleeping by herself but she has to fall asleep with me. Your daughter might be just going thru her own insecurities right now with the divorce. Was your husband a big part before the divorce? I am also in a similar situation, I am married but my husband is only home one weekend a month. I would try talking to her maybe she could at least try to tell you. Maybe she just wants her mommy close to her right now.  I would try staying with her maybe until she starts dozing off. Give it time she will adjust to your new situation and so will you. Just be patient. Hope I helped. Jessica 

 
December 21, 2005, 6:55 pm CST

Where Should Your Child Sleep?

Quote From: kyrose

I am a parent going thru a divorce right now and my 2 year old daughter is not going to bed for me very well. This is the routine that I use: 6pm is dinner around 7:30 is her bath, then we watch a quiet movie, and then I tell her it is time for bed, she goes in there but then she screams like she is hurting and I don't know what to do. She wakes up at 5am and starts screaming too. There is no one to help me or releave me when this happens. I have a radio on with quiet music and I have 2 nightlights on for her. There are noises outside but I can't do anything about them, we live in the 3 story of an apartment. Please help with any Ideas Email at HoneyBear7703@yahoo.com
If you don't already, I would suggest that after the movie, you tell her that it is time for bed and as soon as she is in bed, you will read two stories to her and sing a couple little songs, maybe this will help some as well. maybe spending a few more moments with her will help plus reading to a child is a great thing and can be a part of the bed time routine.
 
December 22, 2005, 12:43 pm CST

In New apartment

Quote From: jettav

If you don't already, I would suggest that after the movie, you tell her that it is time for bed and as soon as she is in bed, you will read two stories to her and sing a couple little songs, maybe this will help some as well. maybe spending a few more moments with her will help plus reading to a child is a great thing and can be a part of the bed time routine.
Yes I am in a new apartment but I have been in Kentucky for about 4 months now. and she is going thru speech therapy for talking. She can't talk at all, just some words and animal sounds. As for my husband being a part of her life NOT AT ALL. She had colic until she was 8 months old and he would do nothing to help calm her down. He was asleep in the delivery room until about 5 minutes before I gave birth and then he did not come and see me the 2 days I was in the hospital. He was almost 2 hours late picking us up from the hospital and he would not take care of her at night so I could get some rest. It was all me, he would take care of her while playing on the computer. He won't take her anywhere and if we did go somewhere and she started to cry he would want me to go to the car or we would just leave. This was a very stressful 3 years of marriage. We were not planning on a child and we ended up having one not even 1 year after we got married. We were married in May of 2002 and pregnant in Dec 2002. Well I hope this gave you a little insight of what I am going thru. I really need to talk about it so is anyone wants to be email buddies please email me at HoneyBear7703@yahoo.com
 
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