Topic : Where Should Your Child Sleep?

Good going!! You are right. I have tried to do the "good things" for my kids and it only made me guilty when I "thought" I did the "no,no" things. This may be why there are so many post partum depressions now a day's, too many women want to make perfect and get them selves sick over it!!

My kids slept with me, and some times they still do, they are now 8 and 5 (well in a couple of months to be exact) My youngest will wake up at night some times and come and see me and ask if he can sleep with me, sometimes I'll say no, and he'll go right back to his bed, and sometimes I say yes, and he crawls in bed with a HUGE smile and wakes up cuddling and touching my face and kissing me, now that is a way to wake up!!! Well, actually, every morning he comes to my bed side, touches softly my face and kisses me and goes down stairs to watch t.v.

When my kids were younger, up until the ages of 3 1/2 and 5 1/2, I used to spray their rooms with "go away monster spray" read them a story and sing a song while holding them in my arms,  every night!! their were parents that told me I was spoiling my kids and when came the time for them to sleep over at a friends house, I will get a call to pick them up, 1. never has happende yet, 2. that same parents child has slept over at my house, funny thing I had to call him a 10:30 pm, his child, 6, was crying like crazy, saying he was missing his parents, his other brother,21/2 sleeps at my house(i run a day care) and cry's like hell everytime nap time rolls around! HMMMM and my kids won''t sleep any where else cause I spoil them??? Yeah right!!!

Do what works for you and your familly and never mind what other people say!!! Unless you ask for advice, you ask for it, be ready to have diffrent opinons expressed, some you'll like some you won't, take what you like and leave the rest alone!!!!

Hello Dr Phil.

I have a 20 months old son, and he has this habbit of

waking up crying several times a night.

He goes to ed around 7 ish at night.

Before my husband and i goes to bed for the night, it usually

helps to just  look in to him and give him a cuddle and tuck him in.

After my husband and i have gone to bed, he wont calm down unless

we let him sleep in our bed, i know  its our fault , and my husband says

he enjoy having our son with us, but thats easy for im to say,  because  our son  ususally

sleeps in my arms, under my  covers on my side of the bed.

If he will not calm down, my husband goes downstairs to sleep,  he goes

to school  very early in the morning, so that is how it must be for now,but it's

not a wishfull situation.

I am getting real tired and i really could use some sleep.

How can i help my son to sleep all night without waking up and

comming in to our bed?

I don't believe  in letting them scream their breath of, and just let them

lay until they fall asleep, i think of that method as cruel and i am looking

for a solution that is more kinder on the child and us parents, if there is one.

I never had any sleep issues with my  older kids when they were small.

They slept all night through.

Please give me some advice,thank you :-)

Thanks from Jun

Do you think that perhaps if you allowed your son to sleep in the same room as you but say in a Pack and Play (or if you think he's ready a toddler bed) he might settle down that way?  You could put the pack and play where he'd be able to see you and perhaps that'd ease his anxiety of not being in bed with you.  I think this would be a good way to transition him hopefully to his own room, own bed (well if that's what you want for him).

It's probably worth a try.  Good luck.

Emily

Hello again Emily, thank you for your advice.

We folllowed up on that, and lt our son sleep in our in

his Pack and Play.

He woke up a couple  of times during the night, and

cried a few seconds, and  the only thing we did, was to say

shhhhhhhhh, we are right here,and he slept again, it was

INCREADABLE! You cant  imagine how good it was to have

MY side og the bed to MY self..hihi ! Now we will see  how he

goes tonight, his second night!

Thank you again :-))

Jun

Greetings to whomever is reading this message!

I have a question about stopping co-sleeping.  My sister and I live together and she has a wonderful daughter who is 20 months old.  My niece has always slept with her I assume because (in the beginning) it was easier to feed her and then became permanent over the past 20 months because there was no room for her to have her own space. 

In May, our roommate will be leaving and we plan to make that room into a bedroom for my niece.  I believe we may have a difficult time training her to sleep alone.  Alexis (my niece) sleeps a little wildly.  She will only stay asleep if there is someone in the bed with her.  She will wake several times throughout the night and will sleepily shift positions so that she is laying right next to my sister (or me - if she is with me), this is the only way that she will go back to sleep.  If she wakes and no one is there, she will cry which makes her wide awake.

On times when we are planning to stay up late and we put Alexis in the bed, she will get out of the bed and sit on the floor right by the closed bedroom door and cry and tries to peek underneath the door.  She remains there (awake) until my sister is ready for bed and returns to the room.  A crib will not help in this situation because she can climb out.  Both of her parents are over 6 ft and she is tall herself.  She is able to climb out of cribs and playpens. 

Who knows, maybe the transition to the new room will not be a problem at all, but it is highly unlikely.  I am sure that we are in store for many nights of "crying it out" (which we personally do not mind either way), but is there some other way to break this habit?  I've been reading several of the posts on this topic and many of the suggestions provided are for older kids (she is not at an age where she can understand the words "this is mommy's room and you have to sleep in your room."  I feel that she might just see it as a punishment/time out, or that she might feel like we are just isolating her for some reason unknown to her)

I would appreciate any feedback anyone has about stopping the co-sleeping and getting her to cope with the transition to a new bedroom. 

Greetings to whomever is reading this message!

I have a question about stopping co-sleeping.  My sister and I live together and she has a wonderful daughter who is 20 months old.  My niece has always slept with her I assume because (in the beginning) it was easier to feed her and then became permanent over the past 20 months because there was no room for her to have her own space. 

In May, our roommate will be leaving and we plan to make that room into a bedroom for my niece.  I believe we may have a difficult time training her to sleep alone.  Alexis (my niece) sleeps a little wildly.  She will only stay asleep if there is someone in the bed with her.  She will wake several times throughout the night and will sleepily shift positions so that she is laying right next to my sister (or me - if she is with me), this is the only way that she will go back to sleep.  If she wakes and no one is there, she will cry which makes her wide awake.

On times when we are planning to stay up late and we put Alexis in the bed, she will get out of the bed and sit on the floor right by the closed bedroom door and cry and tries to peek underneath the door.  She remains there (awake) until my sister is ready for bed and returns to the room.  A crib will not help in this situation because she can climb out.  Both of her parents are over 6 ft and she is tall herself.  She is able to climb out of cribs and playpens. 

Who knows, maybe the transition to the new room will not be a problem at all, but it is highly unlikely.  I am sure that we are in store for many nights of "crying it out" (which we personally do not mind either way), but is there some other way to break this habit?  I've been reading several of the posts on this topic and many of the suggestions provided are for older kids (she is not at an age where she can understand the words "this is mommy's room and you have to sleep in your room."  I feel that she might just see it as a punishment/time out, or that she might feel like we are just isolating her for some reason unknown to her)

I would appreciate any feedback anyone has about stopping the co-sleeping and getting her to cope with the transition to a new bedroom. 

Have you guys thought about doing steps, like having a toddler bed in her mothers room and getting her first to sleep in that, and then next step move her into her own room. Even a 20 month old can have alot of stress, and having to sleep alone is stress for a 2 year old. Its not like if you dont break her of this now that your sister will always have a daughter that sleeps with her, but if your sister is willing I would try slow steps to not put too much stress. Just my opinion.

Just to let you know I too have a older sister that went through the same thing, this is what she tried and it worked great.