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December 25, 2007, 7:29 pm PST
Not all children learn the same!
I don't feel that pointing out she's Wrong will help in anyway. I know that you will have to figure out her way of learning. If there is so type of abuse, as her mother there should be other signs. I know as a parent I would hate to suspect something like that. But, you know who your children are around. I look at everyone as a potential preditor. Truth is when it comes to your babies, there's not any reason you should take a chance. I think maybe expressing the "big girl" advantages may help. My mother says I basically potty trained my sister. She was interested in what I was doing. I am 2 years older than she. Does she have an older sibling or maybe a cousin. Kids learn by watching others. My son is 19 mos. I bought a potty chair about 3 months ago. He had no interest at all. Now that he wants to accompany me to the potty. I talk to him about what I am doing. He was a little slow on speech. He still only says words that make sense when it's in his favor. But, I have learned whatever it is you do...stick with it! Sometimes, they just form routine. I used to chase him for a bath. Now he almost jumps in with me! They look up to us. Mommy is like a hero to them. If you feel that taking your daughter to speak with someone about it. You should! Your the mother. You care for and love this child beyond understanding of just a relative or stranger. You have a bond and instinct. If something doesn't feel right. Check into it! But, by no means let anyone make you feel that you are doing it wrong. Some kids need time. My step son got kicked out of school for going in his pants. He was over 4 years old. The last time he pooped on himself in my care. I just told him it was what puppies do. He didn't think that was very cool. The underware trick works too. Find her fav character, get some neat panties. Maybe she will need more incentive. I don't think it should all be a reward type arrangement. But, there is an understanding that can be reached. I pray that there is nothing going on that may harm her. Sometimes, kids don't want to upset or anger the parents. Check into all of your options! I wouldn't outright ask if someone has done a specific thing. Kids imaginations can wonder wildly if a seed is planted. There are hints. There are conversations that a 4 year old can understand, but not build a story with the info you provide. I hope all works out! I have seen some pretty good ideas. Ignore those who try to write off your situation as bad parenting, or lazy. Do your best! My sister wet the bed until she was 14 years old. My parents made fun of her. We all did! We would call her "pee-pot" and other harsh names. Come to find out she had a real medical condition! In this case it may be so. I have a cousin who poops himself. He 12 years old. My aunt gets so upset! She says sometimes he wil wear it all day at school. I tell her, if it is not a physical problem. He must be lacking in some other way. It is un-natural for a child to wear it at that age. But, 4 years old! They are still babies in my book. If it is for attention, give it in a positive way. Try not to seem so "put-out" by the mistake. Express she really should try harder to be a "big-girl" My son loves the Elmo's Potty time. They sing dance and it makes him think it's fun. I wish you best! Try the DVD! It could help.
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