Topic : Spirited Kids

What you are doing is probably the best thing to do- don’t show a big reaction when you see your son approaching the cat, just calmly go over to the cat and show him how to love the kitty nicely. Your son is only 18 months old, so there is no doubt that if you are consistently showing him how to love the kitty, he will follow your lead- I know that this is probably frustrating right now, but he will come along! It sounds like you are doing exactly the right thing.

I have a 18 month old daughter.  I do what I did with my non-spirited son, put them in time-out until they are done throwing tantrums.  Of courese with my spirited child, some hard days she will go in and out all day long.  I'll explain to her, once she is done crying she can come out.  And she gets it, she'll stop and come out.  She doesn't get it enough that she'll throw another tantrum within few min. again...I believe they do what they do because they are so intelligent and beyond their little age.  It's a good thing that I had a son first who is not-spirited to see how a normal child's development is like, because my spirited daughter.. she acts like she is 2 and half years old.  They way she says 'no' to everything, she doesn't want to share, she tattle tells, and she lies... and reminds you, she can barely speak, but her vocab level of how much she understands is phenomenal.  Do you have a play pin that you can put her in for time-outs? so that she will be safe, and so she can also learn tantrum is not something you will tolerate.

Good luck to you! and good luck to me... this is the most diffilcult challenge I have ever taken on when God signed me with this beautiful spirited child, who challenges me everyday... and even throught he nights...

I have a 1.5 year old daughter, same thing... she could be a poster child for 'beyond stubborness.'  She'll walk right out of time out, so I brought the car seat in and I strap her in.  I don't know how big your son is, but try strapping him down in a car seat.  It sounds cruel... but with our 'special' children we all have to take drastic measures. They are considered Intelligent and Intense, well... many other parents won't understand... but we have to get creative, and do what we must to dicipline them... because we love them so much.  I have much sympathy for you... we must be special for them to have chosen us as their parents.

Well I have 2 children and my Bf has 2 so we have four girls ages 5,3,3,&2 yes alllllll girls. eep. well they are often a handful but I discovered a book called " Raising your Spirited Child" and it was WONDERFUL...I told all my friends about it and it has worked wonders but.....my eldest daughter is holding resentment because of me and her fathers break up. But we are working threw it. If you can give the book a read its very insightful. good luck and let me know.

Michelle

Okay, my 5 1/2 yr. old is in an all day KG program that is very intense. He was recently diagnosed with ADHD and we are going for second opinions and further testing at a specialty clinic at a children's hospital (but not until January). We are on week two of the Feingold diet to eliminate articificial colors, flavors, additives, etc., etc. We have been seeing some improvement at home but at school - wow!! He is only eating (I hope) what I pack for him. There are some comments from his teachers that he has some calm times during the day. However, today he was on a red (the worst) by 10 am and then they put him in the office for over an hour to just sit and do absolutely nothing for the rest of the day (when I got there yesterday he was in the office as well). He is there from 7:45 to 4:15 and the school program runs from 8:30 - 2 pm. I know that when he is tired (just like his dad when he was little) gets very hyper and has a hard time settling down.

I need to vent and see if anyone has any suggestions. I work full-time but am considering asking to work from home, to start with, 10 hours a week so I can pick him up a little after 2 to get him home to have a rest time at home (the one at school is one of his worst times - also I don't think he gets along with the PM teacher).

Anyway, I would greatly appreciate any suggestions. I don't even know what to tell the school because their options are limited but I also don't want him twiddling his thumbs in the office -not very productive. We need to do something between now and his appointment in January.

Thanks in advance for any suggestions.

I am the mother of three daughters.  They are 8, 3 and 9 mos.  My eight year old has always been an emotional (spirited) child.  I can remember her being an infant and being so "emotionally high-maintenance" I would wonder if it would ever get better.  People have been saying for years now that it is just a phase.  The last time I checked a phase didn't last eight years.  I can remember trying to get ready for work when she was just two.  She would scream, yell, kick, roll around on the floor, beat the walls, etc. because I couldn't sit down with her right then and hold her.  The behavior continued to worsen over the years to the point that no matter how much I loved her, I dreaded coming home because I knew the meltdowns that were coming our way.  That is a hard thing to admit. 

She is now eight years old and it is as if she has an emotinal light switch that she flips on and off at her own will.  There are other times that she doesn't seem to be able to control her emotions whatsoever.  This ranges from having to wear socks to being told anything that she doesn't want to hear.  The older she gets it seems that she does try when she wants and is fabulous.  This used to be something that she hid behind closed doors, now that is not the case.  She lets it loose whether she is in front of friends, at school, on the basketball court, during cheerleading games, you name it.  It was at a point last year that her 2nd grade teacher had to ban board games from the classroom because she would get so upset and meltdown if the children didn't play EXACTLY by the rules or if she lost.  She tries so hard to be in control of every detail in her life and when she can't control it, it controls her.

I am so worried about her.  Everyday we get up and say this is a new day . Lets emrace it!!!!!!  Unfortunately that is short-lived and then I regret that there is another day gone.  My husband and I are typically pretty consistent with discipline and we do support one another.  I do have to admit that she pushes me to a point where I just start yelling and acting like a 3 year old myself.  I am embarrassed and ashamed.  Please, I don't know where to turn.  Could she be bi-polar?  Is it possible that there are other issues at hand other than her throwing temper-tantrums?  I really am beginning to think that this goes beyond that.

PLEASE HELP!!

My 6 year old grand daughter has bitten herself on the arms twice.First time while playing games on the computer and the second time wile watching a video on T.V.Does anyone have any ideas why she does this?Other than these two instances she perfectly normal and very happy.

                                                     Thanks