Topic : Picky Eaters

I have been a picky eater my entire life. It's not something I enjoy or something I do just to get attention. Unfortunatly, a lot of foods just don't taste good to me. That is NO reason for me to be forced to eat things I don't like. I really hate when I go to friends houses to eat, and they get angry with me for not wating thier squash casserole or whatever. They roll thier eyes and say 'you're such a picky eater' or 'why don't you like my cooking?' No matter how many times I explain to people that I just don't like certain foods, they still take offense. I have a wonderful mother, but she forced me to sit at the dinner table night after night with my vegetables sitting there until I ate them. I HATED it. Putting certain foods in my mouth makes me want to vomit. Why should I be forced to eat something I don't like? We all have foods we don't like, I just have more of them. Please don't force your children to eat...it's not child abuse, but it certainly isn't right. My mother tried to make me eat vegetables and it didn't change me...I still wont eat them.  

By the way...there is research that some children are 'super-tasters' and can't tolerate the taste of certain foods. Keep that in mind the next time you try to force them to eat something.  

I have been parenting my 7 year old granddaughter since she was 4 months old.  She has always seemed "busy".  She is intelligent and wants to please, but she has issues trying to make friends and has a very hard time completing her assignments in school.  She can hardly stay in her chair for more than a few minutes at a time.  The school has suggested that she may be ADHD and could need medication. 

Recently she was tested at a behavioral health center in our area and was diagnosed with "Asperger's Syndrome".  I am trying to wrap my mind around this thing and all that it may mean for our family.  I have been told that medication is usually not very helpful, that she needs coaching and she has been referred to Special Education for further evaluation as to what they can do to help. 

As a parent...I feel somewhat lost.  Any help out there? 

Hi,  

I think it is great that he was willing to eat the stew, try the tomato and that you included his favorite as an enticement. 

This is a difficult problem, especially if parents' have defaulted to the child's diet of choice.  Our younger child was a picky eater.  Here is what we did to help her (and ourselves!).  We talked to her about it at a time when we were not eating or getting ready to eat.  No battles at the dinner table--it only makes it worse.  We told her that it was important for her to develop a taste for a lot of different foods.  We also told her that we understood that she thought that she did not like most foods and only liked noodles, bread and such.  We explained to her that if she did not try anything, she would never know if she liked it or not.  She was also told that she might not like broccoli, for example, at five years old, but that she might find out she liked it when she was six.  How would she know if she did not try it several times in her life?  So we told her this was our new rule:  she would be expected to try whatever was served.  We would not force her to eat.  However, there would be no special items made for her.  She could choose to eat or not to eat.  Of course, we made sure that she had those things she really liked to eat many times during the week.  This was highly effective.  She is 14 now and generally eats what we serve with some exceptions.   

The other suggestion I have is to get him involved in meal planning and food shopping.  At first, offer two or three choices.  What would you like to have for dinner tomorrow:  spaghetti, meatloaf or chicken?  Then let him choose the side dish or dessert.   

I grew up with an extremely picky brother.  My mom made whatever he wanted and he never had to eat what the family ate.  He is still very picky and difficult to please.  It is embarrassing to go to a restaurant with him because he almost tells the waiter how to cook the food (stay home!).  His kids are also very picky, to an extreme.  Nip it in the bud now!  Good luck...he is fortunate to have parents who want him to be healthy and happy. 

I am a chef, who for 4 years cooked at a childcare center.  I also raised 2 children.  I know all about how kids eat. 

There are a few reasons why children are picky.   

First, they have more taste buds than adults.  You loose taste buds as you age.  Food tastes more intense to children than they do to us, that's why most children don't like black pepper, for example. 

Next, being picky about what they eat, is actually a self preservation mechanism for children.  Way back maybe 1000's of years ago, being picky probably prevented children from eating something poisonous and dying.  So, it's born in them. 

OK, what can you do? 

The first and most important thing is be a good example.  Make sure you take the time to eat with your children.  Even in our busy lives, it's important to sit down at the table and eat meals together. 

I don't think that happens as much as it should. 

Another point to know is it can take up to 20 times for a child to eat a "new" food.  Be patient, but keep serving new items to your children, eventually they will eat it and most likely will like it. 

I suggest adding a new food to a meal with an item you know they like, say macaroni and cheese with broccoli or green beans, or a salad.  If they see you eat it, they eventually will eat it too. 

Don't make a big deal about food.  That's where a lot of problems can start, that don't have to happen. 

Children will eat when they are hungry.  If they aren't going through a growing spurt, they may not have much of an appetite, but they would never starve themselves. 

Eating should be a pleasant experience, children as young as 1 can learn how to serve themselves food, which will entice them to try new things.   If you want to know more about that, put in "Family Style Meal Service" in your search engine, there is a lot of information on it. 

There are a lot of recipes out there too that are "kid friendly" and nutritious. 

I hope this helps!