Quote From: motherluv1My daughter is 18 and in an interracial relationship - she is white, he black. Without sounding racist - as I do not have a problem with any person of any race - in fact, I think that this young man is very nice, treats her well - but I do have a problem with the interracial thing. Yes, I want to see her happy, but I also don't feel comfortable with the situation - AT ALL. I know my immediate family (mother, father, sisters) would all be very judgmental and have some negative things to say about it if it came out (and it will sooner or later) and I won't know how to answer them - because I am not agreeable to it either. I really don't know how to react to it. She is living with me and says she doesn't care what anybody thinks - she's just gonna do what she wants anyway and what makes her happy. But, do I have a right to say to her, No you can't date him because he's black and I don't like it? I also see her blurb on my space.com and I hate everything about it - even though she is a beautiful white girl, she relates to everything black. Do I tell her to change it all. Do I want to - yes! But, does this then make her more rebellious. She's a great kid - gets very good grades, does well in school, does not drink or smoke or go out very much, no trouble. When she does go out, she calls and is home at her curfew time. She is 18, so do I have a right to tell her what she can and can't put on myspace.com. Every time we get into a discussion - even remotely about the color issue - she gets very defensive. It's like I can't even talk about it. I have retorted to "I will respect your thoughts on it, but you need to respect mine too." - but to what extent is there any respect for my feelings if she chooses to date him and bring it around me anyway? Please - some advice as to how to deal with this and my family when the issue arises?
Interests are not "black" or "white". You cannot put races to things that she puts on myspace. Interests are interests. You and your immediate family need to smarten up and you need to accept things as they are. If your white daughter wants to date a black man, let her. Black, white, brown, it doesn't matter. We are all human.
You need to stop feeling uncomfortable about the fact that your white daughter is going out with a black man. You say so yourself that he's a good person. "I do not have a problem with any person of any race - in fact, I think that this young man is very nice, treats her well." If he's black, he's black, it's not his fault and he has every right to date your daughter if they both love each other.
Tell your family that racism will not be tolerated and that your daughter is allowed to date whoever she wants as long as he is a good person (black, white, it doesn't matter). Tell your family that if they are racist towards this young man and make negative comments, you will lose repect for them. This is not the slave days. Black people and white people have equal rights and are equal people and if they wan't to date interratially, let them!
