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Topic : Teen Dating

Number of Replies: 435
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Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 01:21:50 pm
Author : dataimport
Say it isn't so - your teenager is dating! Share your stories, and tips for making your teen's dating days as worry-free as possible.

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January 1, 2008, 2:22 pm CST

I'm a Teenager

I am a teenager. I am 15 to be exact. I have seen alot of things when it comes to teen dating. I have never been very far, so I can't speak from experience, but I have seen things go on with other people. Parents, watch your teenagers. Give them some privacy, but know what's going on with them at all times. Don't lose a connection with them because once you do, they get into trouble with dating and stuff. Don't be an overprotective control freak, but monitor them enough to keep them out of trouble and under control. That's my advice on what my parents have done and I havn't got into trouble with teen dating...yet. :)
 
January 21, 2008, 1:30 pm CST

Teen Dating

Quote From: classybecca

I am a teenager. I am 15 to be exact. I have seen alot of things when it comes to teen dating. I have never been very far, so I can't speak from experience, but I have seen things go on with other people. Parents, watch your teenagers. Give them some privacy, but know what's going on with them at all times. Don't lose a connection with them because once you do, they get into trouble with dating and stuff. Don't be an overprotective control freak, but monitor them enough to keep them out of trouble and under control. That's my advice on what my parents have done and I havn't got into trouble with teen dating...yet. :)

I completely agree.  I am 18, but still a senior in high school.  I see first-hands teenagers that tell their parents one thing and turn around and do something totally different.  I always think it's crazy when parents say things like "oh, well my daughter would never do that" or "I trust my son" or "my daughter and I are really close, so she'd tell me if she ever did that".  It's great to think that you've raised your teen right, but that doesn't mean you should completely trust them.

 

I appreciate the space my father gives me, and I have only done one thing to betray his trust, and he reacted accordingly.  Now, when he starts questioning me and doing those "annoying" things parents do, I remind myself that he is doing it out of love and because I have done something to make him question me.

 

Parents of teens, just be careful.

 
January 25, 2008, 6:04 pm CST

Right On!

Quote From: dmmcintyre

I can't say what I would do because I have 4 boys, but for as my friends who have daughters, their daughters are not allowed to date till they are 16.  I do remember my first date at 16 (he was 19 and my parents both knew him), my father had a shot gun sitting by the front door when he picked me up.  Anyway, I think if I was in your shoes, I would give it another year.
 
 
February 5, 2008, 6:50 am CST

stepmom needs help

I have a 13 year old stepson who dad and i found out he has a girlfriend at bio moms.  this is his first.  he found out this girl is also dating a girl besides him.  i told him my thoughts on it but at his moms there is no supervision no structure and everyone at his moms says its ok.  we (dad and i)are trying to raise him the best we can with rules, guidance, structure where moms is one big party after another,  this kid is obssessed with this girl who we see is nothing but trouble, she is a trouble maker and her life isnt the greatest either.  How do we help this boy to understand?
 
February 5, 2008, 6:30 pm CST

Teen Dating

Quote From: queenmom43

I have a 13 year old stepson who dad and i found out he has a girlfriend at bio moms.  this is his first.  he found out this girl is also dating a girl besides him.  i told him my thoughts on it but at his moms there is no supervision no structure and everyone at his moms says its ok.  we (dad and i)are trying to raise him the best we can with rules, guidance, structure where moms is one big party after another,  this kid is obssessed with this girl who we see is nothing but trouble, she is a trouble maker and her life isnt the greatest either.  How do we help this boy to understand?

why is the girl trouble? (besides that she is in a bigamous relationship with your step son and some girl...)

 

 
February 8, 2008, 10:35 pm CST

Teen Dating

our daughter was allowed to date as of november and the boy asked her out immediately upon hearing the news.....she turns 16 in march.....and is dating....the boy who she has liked and who has liked her also since grade 7---neither of them have had previous relationships, and the boy who we know and have seen around over the past couple years, more regularly this year, but to this moment she is not comfortable with having him around without another girl at the house...grin. so being alone in her room would be unthinkable. tonight they were supposed to be hanging out with a group of friends and discovered there might be drinking-and both of them decided that they as individuals wouldn't be going-all on their own without parents help. instead, they decided to spend some time together, and they went for a walk (albeit a long one) in very cold and wet weather, this being their first time ever alone. he has moved very slowly with her, only in the past month or so has he put his arm around her or held her hand. he also gave her his cross he has been wearing since grade 6. he being catholic attends church each week, and he told her himself he thought he was mature enough to have a girlfriend...but not mature enough for anything else....he's a bit innocent about girls, and thats given them their ups and downs (most recently my daughter's best friend announced she was in love with the boy herself-as you can imagine it caused quite the trauma in girl world-worse so at the school because my daughter is what you'd call a popular girl and her best friend is the girl that she took under her wing at beginning of grade nine, trying to help her fit in, lending her clothes, (the girl is from a very low income family) buying her makeup, and on top of that, the girl spent every, and i mean every, weekend at our home since october)...so the couple is dealing with that at school. then there is the other well meaning friend of our daughter who asked the boy if he'd like to see her new bra....[though it never got that far as she then saw our daughter before the guy could get a word in]....bra girl now has magically injured her ankle and expects our daughter's guy to carry her books, etc...you get the point...at first he was nicely polite and assistive, but by the end of the day he refused to help her any more...perhaps he got the hint. the bottom line on my end is I think that teens their age, and especially guys who aren't familiar at the relationship thing, don;t always recognize the dangers of what i would call more aware girls, and maybe the reverse is true for more aware guys also. so far though they've had to have some boundary talks, they are doing fine and are able to communicate through most of their issues...but i think that comes from the friendship they share.....-i guess my question is, how does my teen handle the minefield of people trying to come between them-never seen anything like teen girls who are so aggressive....because she knows him so well, she knows by the look on his face what he's thinking...and these are not girls he is interested in...at all....he treats my daughter well, he bought her a lovely pair of gold earings with little diamond chips for christmas, he walks her home every day and texts her regularly at least once each evening....so I would say that for us, its maturity and the fact he was a long time friend first that allows our comfort level.
 
February 9, 2008, 4:52 pm CST

Teen Dating

Quote From: canlitigator

our daughter was allowed to date as of november and the boy asked her out immediately upon hearing the news.....she turns 16 in march.....and is dating....the boy who she has liked and who has liked her also since grade 7---neither of them have had previous relationships, and the boy who we know and have seen around over the past couple years, more regularly this year, but to this moment she is not comfortable with having him around without another girl at the house...grin. so being alone in her room would be unthinkable. tonight they were supposed to be hanging out with a group of friends and discovered there might be drinking-and both of them decided that they as individuals wouldn't be going-all on their own without parents help. instead, they decided to spend some time together, and they went for a walk (albeit a long one) in very cold and wet weather, this being their first time ever alone. he has moved very slowly with her, only in the past month or so has he put his arm around her or held her hand. he also gave her his cross he has been wearing since grade 6. he being catholic attends church each week, and he told her himself he thought he was mature enough to have a girlfriend...but not mature enough for anything else....he's a bit innocent about girls, and thats given them their ups and downs (most recently my daughter's best friend announced she was in love with the boy herself-as you can imagine it caused quite the trauma in girl world-worse so at the school because my daughter is what you'd call a popular girl and her best friend is the girl that she took under her wing at beginning of grade nine, trying to help her fit in, lending her clothes, (the girl is from a very low income family) buying her makeup, and on top of that, the girl spent every, and i mean every, weekend at our home since october)...so the couple is dealing with that at school. then there is the other well meaning friend of our daughter who asked the boy if he'd like to see her new bra....[though it never got that far as she then saw our daughter before the guy could get a word in....bra girl now has magically injured her ankle and expects our daughter's guy to carry her books, etc...you get the point...at first he was nicely polite and assistive, but by the end of the day he refused to help her any more...perhaps he got the hint. the bottom line on my end is I think that teens their age, and especially guys who aren't familiar at the relationship thing, don;t always recognize the dangers of what i would call more aware girls, and maybe the reverse is true for more aware guys also. so far though they've had to have some boundary talks, they are doing fine and are able to communicate through most of their issues...but i think that comes from the friendship they share.....-i guess my question is, how does my teen handle the minefield of people trying to come between them-never seen anything like teen girls who are so aggressive....because she knows him so well, she knows by the look on his face what he's thinking...and these are not girls he is interested in...at all....he treats my daughter well, he bought her a lovely pair of gold earings with little diamond chips for christmas, he walks her home every day and texts her regularly at least once each evening....so I would say that for us, its maturity and the fact he was a long time friend first that allows our comfort level.

Well you can't help her with getting through the minefield. It is something she needs to experience for herself. She will come to you for help if she needs it. Love is a dificult emotion and the dating, flirting etc that ecompagnies it one of the most difficult social interactions.

 

She needs to do this on her own only with a bit of support from you so that she can learn how it all works. usually boys and girls start learning this process from around age 11/12 slowly taking it one step further as they get older.  You see that she and her friends are still at the beginning of this process though, I see some behaviour that in reference to what I see here (in a more social (sexual) liberal environment) is innocent. 

 

I do think your daughter has time to adapt since their relationship moves very slow. So just support her if she needs it and let her figure it out for herself for the rest. Be aware not to be to much onto their relationship since it could create pressure and could make their love fail (and might even get her mad at you.) And seen the relationship you describe it really isn't necesary.

 

 

Then another thing. have you given her sex education? And I don't mean just abstinance. If this relationship devellops they might have sex at a point. It would be good if she knows (how) to use a condom, it would be unfortunate if she would be one of the many teen girls that get pregnant.

 

You don't have to fear that you will give her an ok for going out and having sex. Studies have shown that teens do not have sex earlier (even a bit later) when educated but that it will decrease the chance for STD's and teen pregnancies tremendesly.  (compare figures for US and France or the Netherlands for instance.)

 

I know that it might feel wierd ackward or even wrong but in the interest of your daughters future you do need to have the talk if you haven't done it already. And don't feel imune to this I once read that a studie showd that 75% of parrents in the US thought that their kids did not have sex while 55% of those kids said that they did.

 

I'm sorry if I came across a bit harsh now but I think it is important. Now how do you approach the subject? well their are many sites out their that have good advice on how to talk to your daughter. try this site for instance, http://www.teenpregnancy.org/ I thought that it had good info if I remember correctly.

 

I hope my advice is of any help to you,

xx Oet Gäöl

 

P.S. if I didn't explain something well enough please reply, I will be happy to explain it further.

 
February 13, 2008, 4:57 am CST

Is my son nuts....lol

My 17 year old son had cried for years that there just weren't any good girls out there. He finally found her. She was stunningly beautiful inside and out.......she was a strong Christian girl.......she met everything that he had put on his list for the perfect girl. She played Halo.......was a great student athlete, didn't party, was as sweet a kid as there could possibly be. He was her first love......she his.....They dated for 6 months.  But he put very little into the relationship.........and I mean infintessimal.......and yet she stood by him......then 4 days ago.........he broke her heart by ending it........and made it look as though she was the one who didn't do anything to make it work.  He never sent her cards, letters,  after the 1st month or so......He complained of not being able to see her enough during the school week....but they spent just about every weekend available that they possibly could going out to movies, dinner, concerts........at my expense.......Yeah.I know..........I totally spoiled his rear end because my wife and I liked the girl so much. My son has great grades.........is heading to USC on an Athletic scholarship.......She's made it into SC too! He said she didn't open up enough to him about her feelings early enough, but I know she did and I know this to be absolutely false.......since the majority of his friends are saying it aint so "Joe." I want to wring his neck for what he did.........My wife and I raised him to do better.....He comes from a very loving home........where love and understanding aren't just mere words.........it's actually practiced..........So why do I want to wring my sons neck? I know kids make mistakes..........and I am afraid he is making a huge one........and I am actually happy for her because I felt he didn't deserve someone like her after treating her this way. She deserves better. I hope and pray he will learn from this........and I know that I am really more disappointed in him than anything......but why do I still want to wring his neck?
 
February 13, 2008, 3:14 pm CST

Teen Dating

Quote From: benzmansl65

My 17 year old son had cried for years that there just weren't any good girls out there. He finally found her. She was stunningly beautiful inside and out.......she was a strong Christian girl.......she met everything that he had put on his list for the perfect girl. She played Halo.......was a great student athlete, didn't party, was as sweet a kid as there could possibly be. He was her first love......she his.....They dated for 6 months.  But he put very little into the relationship.........and I mean infintessimal.......and yet she stood by him......then 4 days ago.........he broke her heart by ending it........and made it look as though she was the one who didn't do anything to make it work.  He never sent her cards, letters,  after the 1st month or so......He complained of not being able to see her enough during the school week....but they spent just about every weekend available that they possibly could going out to movies, dinner, concerts........at my expense.......Yeah.I know..........I totally spoiled his rear end because my wife and I liked the girl so much. My son has great grades.........is heading to USC on an Athletic scholarship.......She's made it into SC too! He said she didn't open up enough to him about her feelings early enough, but I know she did and I know this to be absolutely false.......since the majority of his friends are saying it aint so "Joe." I want to wring his neck for what he did.........My wife and I raised him to do better.....He comes from a very loving home........where love and understanding aren't just mere words.........it's actually practiced..........So why do I want to wring my sons neck? I know kids make mistakes..........and I am afraid he is making a huge one........and I am actually happy for her because I felt he didn't deserve someone like her after treating her this way. She deserves better. I hope and pray he will learn from this........and I know that I am really more disappointed in him than anything......but why do I still want to wring his neck?
Well dating is a skill just as carpentry, he just needs to learn I'm afraid. You could talk to him about it though...
 
March 17, 2008, 7:06 am CDT

14 yo wants to date

My 14yo step-daughter asked in Dec if she could date an 18 yo boy from her church.  My husband told her no she wasn't old enough to date.  Then he asked her what mom thought about it and she said, mom thinks it is cool and ok.  This past Thursday she called again and asked, and then my husband spent 2 hours on the phone with her crying and telling him how unfair/mean he was.  Mom still thinks its ok, but we don't.  She is not mature enough to take on the responsibility of this.  I am a little confused why mom says yes she can date BUT she is TOO YOUNG for the "talk".  PLEASE HELP!!
 
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