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November 30, 2007, 2:36 pm PST
Teen Dating
Quote From: breexo09I am a 16 year old girl, soon to be 17. I'm very smart in school and always have gotten the good grades, always have had great friends and such. I started to date this boy back in the beginning of June, and we are still together today. Whenever we have free time with no homework or projects we spend time together, usually outside playing basketball or football, or watching our favorite shows...sometimes even just talking about school, family, stress, etc. We are very close to eachother, and we have grown to become best friends, not only boyfriend and girlfriend. We have told eachother basically everything there is to know, I've told him all my embarassing stories and he's told me all of his kind of thing.The problem is I have a friend, and she was all for me dating this boy, and thought he was a great choice. Once I started spending my time with him, she began to change her view point, and tell me that I spent too much time with him and that when he " dumps me " I won't have any friends to fall back on, because I will lose them all since I don't spend enough time with them. She told me that she was sickened by how much time me and my boyfriend spend together, and that I am too hung up on him and that I ditched my friends for him. She's tried arguing with me, and trying to tell me she won't be my friend unless I spend time with her and pay attention to her and not him. Recently, we were supposed to be working on a school project together , worth 20 points on our actual average (if you had a 100, and you didn't do the project you'd have an 80 on the report card) and she told me that I was kicked out of the group and I had to do this by myself. I was completely apauled by her selfish decision and stopped talking to her. I figured real friends wouldn't do that to eachother. Since this ordeal, she has recently gotten into drinking. I told her I don't like drinking, and I'm not going to spend time with someone who is doing something to hurt themselves and potentially ruin their future. I've spent time with my friends, before they started to drink, but it is hard because of school, afterschool jobs, family obligations, etc. so meshing the schedules together can often be difficult. Is it in my wrong doing of bonding with a boy that I care for, and telling my friend I don't want to be around her if she's illegally drinking? Or does she have a point, that I'm too involved with this boy? Everyone goes through this! Relax :) I was in a similar circumstance when I dated my first serious boyfriend. During our entire 2 year relationship, I found it extremely hard to balance school, chores, work, friends, and my boyfriend. Now, more than 6 years later, I still have that problem occasionally in my current relationship. The one bit of real advice I can give you is just to make sure you make time to hang out with your friends at least once a week without your boyfriend. It sounds like your friend kicked you out of the group project for school because that was sort of a way to communicate how she feels about you spending very little time with her. Like, she felt like you kicked her out of your life for the most part, so she kicked you out of her project. (I know it sounds stupid, but thats the only explanation I can think of). Instead of getting too upset with her, have a night for just the two of you, and talk about how you feel about everything she has done, and everything you have done. If you make it clear that you want to put aside some special time each week to be with her and your friends, she will feel like you still care.
Hope that helps!
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