Topic : Teen Dating

You're right.  17 and 24 (actually 20+) are a poor combination.  Throw in her past and her current living situation and it is even less desirable. 

In my opinion, having another employee talk to both of them is pointless.  For one thing, what is the guy supposed to say ... "the boss asked me to talk with you two"??  The 24 year old clearly has issues that your son doesn't need.  Likely he appreciates her "acceptance" (or more?) of him, but the chances of anything approaching a healthy relationship are between slim and none.  Meanwhile, he'll fail to achievev what he can and should.

You said he "had such a promising career in the military, college, etc".  Were those his ideas, and if so, how and when was he going to go about achieving them?  Why not act on them now (summer courses, enlistment, whatever)?  Indeed why didn't he act on them before?

If this is "just" a summer job and steps have been taken for school/military in August/September, perhaps the store should simply prohibit "fraternization" in some form - especially for anyone in any kind of managerial position (like 2nd ass't.).  If not, maybe your son needs to work elsewhere, and that your husband ought to be able to "arrange".

I'm not familiar with all the laws in Oklahoma, or a lot of other places, but there often is a difference between ages of consent and full independence/adulthood.  It seems to me you shouldn't effectively underwrite behavior of which you don't approve.  Also, if you are still supporting your son, doubly if you are legally required to do so, you should still have some ability to establish and enforce certain rules and expectations.  Stick to your position - and at the very least remind him to stick to his word about breaking it off.

I really need advice on how to make my daughter stop lieing and sneaking,, she is dating a 17 year old boy

who lies all the time and is very sneaky and very controling and my daughter never acting like this before as she would say "i love him" ..,recently she took  off on foot not telling me where she is going ,1 hr later I call her cell no answer, I called his  cell,he states she's not with me, in which hes lieing,,I called his parents and they contact him as well ,6 hrs later after worried sick ,come to find out she was with him the whole time what they were doing Im sure I know but when I question her Iget lies ,,,,  they both had it made his mom would take them places movies, out to dinner etc,,,,,but now they both burned the bridge ,, I just need advice on how to get though to my daughter that this boy is not right for her if he controls her now after 6 months of dating its only going to get worse ,,, I have rules but she doesnt want to live by them   so she then she wants to goes stay with herd ad which is bad news he never backs be up I ground her but ,there he dosent have rules and lets her do everthing, shes a very sweet girl but the lieing and sneaking have to stop,I told her the boyfriend is done no more phone calls no more meeting him ,but when she goes with her dad he lets her do everything,, what can I do before its to late  

I too know exactly what you mean.....our 16 year old daughter hooked up with a 23 year old man.....both of course lied about his age.  At first we were told he was 19...then 21 - then 23.  THey both started disrespecting her curfews and felt they could come and go as they pleased and that we were being "irrational" expecting her to keep curfews and attend school.  She knew so much more than us and was leaving a note "by the time you read this mom, I  will be gone with [insert boyfreinds name here]. She is totally unhappy at home.  Imagine that!  We found the note and confronted her and of course asked her what could be causing this unhappiness and since we can't resolve or figure out that answer, she could move in with either of her brothers, a good freinds place, or her grandparents or we would set her up in a place close to school. Of course none of these were options in her book, the only place she wanted to be in was with this boyfreind of hers.......She wrote her last exam at then end of her first semester in grade 11 and she has now run away to be with him and has been living with him for 6 months now.  For the past 5 months, I would call every week or two to "check and make sure she was alright and to ttry and talk to her- but it has all grown into it being - ALL MY FAULT...I worked to much, I didn't pay enough attention to her and the list and  anger and drama being fed to her goes on and on and she hangs up on me.  I barely ever got a word in edgewise..... I have now quit trying. 

She is hell bent on going this direction and pushing me further and further away so  I wrote her and have said "goodbye" She clearly has made her choice and has cut me completely off to the point that she only yells and screams at me..then so be it.  I will be here if and when she is ready to work on our relationship.

But as a parent - that broke my heart! 

You are so right, we know where all of this is going to end up, they have to learn themselves - there is nothing we can do but stand by pick up the pieces when they fall and love them anyway. I will stand along with you and hopefully find that right solution as well!

hi every one i have a 14 year old and she is dateing a 16 year old and i dont realy like the idea but they have be seening each other .because it is really head to keep them apart because he lives in the same building we do so how do i keep then apart please help if you can ok thank you all my email is cat.eyes.35@hotmAIL.COM HOPE TO HEAR BACK