Topic : Teens and Sex

The LAST LAST LAST thing you should do is:  "Enyway I wasjust wondering if you have MSN messenger If you do can you send me you'r ID please and e-mail me and tell me what you think of my anser to you'r question ok thanks."   

  

If you have an aunt or "modern" grandma maybe you could talk with that person to help you talk with mom.  

  

The mom-to-daughter TALK is NOT easy for most mothers.  

  

So if your mother hasn't spoken with you about IT, it doesn't mean she doesn't care about you and what you do. 

Dear Dr. Phil Members,My name is Aaron, I am 16 years old, and I have apparently found myself in in a very unusual situation. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 7 months now, and she recently told me to do something that I honestly can’t bring myself to even think of. She talked to me about how we have a lot of trust and honesty in our relationship, and how much we love and care about each other. I agree that we are very trusting and honest with each other, and we care a lot about each other. So she proceeded to say that she wants me to wear a chastity device for her. WTF????!!!!!! That is the most unsual and baffling thing I have ever heard ANYONE say in my life. I would be less shocked if she said let’s get married. Atleast getting married isn’t so awkward. When she said that to me I just replied by saying “can we talk about this later” and I got up and left. The whole entire rest of the day was so weird for me in all aspects. I felt like I was living life through a pair of specialized glasses that made me see the world different. My whole mind was set on what she said, and I had so many mixed and new feelings about her and our relationship. I saw her today and I felt really uncomfortable and strange around her, and I was praying for a magic button that would make her vanish. Before she said that, I really didn’t know the real definition of a chastity device. I had an idea, but not a strong idea. I looked it up on the internet and I saw what it really was. I’m 16, she’s 17, we are both WAY TOO young for any of this. Adults don’t usually use these devices, nevertheless kids our age. I really don’t know what to say or do. I DON’T want to wear this, and I know I should probably say “no” but I don’t even know if I want to continue my relationship with her. What kind of a weirdo is she anyway? I thought I had her figured out after 7 months, but apparently not. How can I explain this to her in a polite and conservative fashion, without hurting her feelings, and making an idiot out of myself? I also DON’T want to tell any adults or friends. If my parents heard about this they would seriously freak out and not let me date for 20 years. Please, any advice is greatly appreciated. I’m really busy, so I will try to answer all the replies and questions anyone posts. Or you can email me at afrumkin@email.com. Thanks. Aaron

Hi, 

  

My name is anne and i'm 19 years old. I'm from Holland. I was reading this message board and it really baffled me. I mean are you afraid of sex or something? Parents can't just send their kids into the world without explaining to them what sex is. Not talking about it only makes them curious and condemming it makes them want to trie it.  

My mother started talking to me about the changes your body goes through when you reach puberty. So i wasn't surprised when it happend. She also told me sex is very normal and that i should only do it with someone i love, trust and that it is my decision. I've not had sex yet, because i haven't found someone i would want to do it with. What i mean is my mother tought me that sex is normal and that it is my decision and my decision only. That i should not feel pressured or forced.  I also have an older brother and sister and especially my sister talked to me about it and about her experiences.  

So i'm not so curious about the act itself, only about what it would be like to share it with that special person. I'm not saving myself till marriage or anything, but the right person hasn't come along yet. I really want to say to all the kids here that you shouldn't have sex because you feel it is a must or because "all your friends are doing it". That's just sad. And to all the parents i just want to say that you have an obligation to your children and you have to have "the talk". Good luck!!! 

  

Xx Anne 

"I DON’T want to wear this, and I know I should probably say “no” but I don’t even know if I want to continue my relationship with her." 

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What's the problem?  

  

Just tell her you're wearing one. Since she trusts you , and you "don’t even know if I want to continue my relationship with her,"  there shouldn't be any reason she would know you're not.  

  

Problem solved. 

Maybe kids in America need to see a short-list to help them decide.  

  

That is, If sex is "pleasurable" why do they call it labor "pains?" 

  

"Having" sex has been found to be one of the leading causes of pregnancy. 

  

Short-list: Pleasure - Pregnancy. Two get to enjoy the first, one gets to "enjoy" the second. 

You want me to tell her I am wearing one? NO WAY!! What if we eventually break up and she tells her friends or whatever that I wear a chastity device? Besides, wouldn't she ask WHY am I wearing one? That would be very strange. Aaron Frumkin

It's the parents job to make sure their kids know what anti pregnancy things are availeble to them. I'm not saying parents should promote sex, but denying that teens eventually will have sex is naive. That can lead to teen pregnancy's If kids don't know what options are open to them, they'll experiment without any precautions and that can lead to pregnancy's and sexual transmittable diseases (im not sure what the word is in english). These precaustions are a very good protection against aids, chlamydia etc.  

I don't think your shortlist will reduce teen pregnancy's or help parents teach their kids about sex.  

"I don't think your shortlist will reduce teen pregnancy's..." 

  

I fully agree with this. As long as there's pleasure the second part isn't even brougt to mind because the "cause-effect" relationship is too far apart. 

  

I think Mother Nature intended that there be "occasional" birth, not repeated unlimited births (think maybe two nipples instead of a 2 rows - as on lower form animals- was purposeful?). So "she" introduced "pain" as a reminder. 

  

But that was how many millenia ago? 

  

Today's sperm and egg carriers aren't under the same rules as when it all began. 

  

  

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