Home Message Boards

Topic : Teens and Sex

Number of Replies: 620
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 01:22:25 pm
Author : dataimport
How do you talk to your teens about sex? Share your story.

 
thibodeauxred
User Mood
Worried

Message Emote
ecstatic
March 3, 2008, 4:43 pm PST

thank YOU!

Quote From: frances7144

 Dear Dr. Phil,

 I do not understand parents (mothers) who do not know about their kids and pregancy.

When I was 16 my mother woke me up one morning and said to me "your pregant arn''t you?"  Isaid

"I don't know". She took me to the doctor and he said "I don't know". I was, but it was way to soon to know but my mother knew.  Gods Bless Her. You have to pay attention to your kids and when you don't stuff happens to them and not always good.  I was lucky. My father was heart borken but stood by me. I kept my baby with the help and support of my parents. Today my child has a Bachelors degree and two Masters. I could'nt be more proud.

 

i couldn't be more happy for you. but more importantly to find out there is a mother out there who will not make excuses for teen pregnancies- and has actually been through one. i as well am astonished about the mother's who have no clue. THANK YOU!!!!
 
Reply with Quote Read Replies to this Message
janika4333
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
March 4, 2008, 5:28 am PST

hmm


  I  had sex at 15. I told my mother that I was planning on haveing sex with my boyfriend at the time and she reacted like she always reacts. She threw a shoe at me and then took me to the obgyn.
  I am now 25 happily married and not to the boy I gave my virginity to. I have never regret my descion to lose my virginity at 15. I think we should teach kids to respect sex and there bodies. I was well aware of every consequence to haveing sex at 15. I  went to catholic school my entire cildhood and trust me they teach every negative aspect about sexual escapades.
  When they say every teen is not capable of makeing mature  descions It drives me nuts! There are so many teens who take the time to calculate the weight of the descions they are makeing. The teens who throw away sex should be taught self confidence before they pick up a condom from the nurses office.
 
Reply with Quote Read Replies to this Message
proudteenmama
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
March 4, 2008, 8:58 am PST

pregnant teens

I am a teen mom, however unlike the couple that was on the show a while back I am earning a college degree and will be graduating this year. I also am looking forward to persuing a nursing degree. I was very upset to see teen mothers shown in such an awful way. I love my four month old daughter. She gets a bath every night she sleeps in her crib. I buy her diapers and yes I do have support from my parents. However, I am taking 21 credit hours at the local community college. I am being inducted into my colleges chapter of phi theta kappa on Wednesday. I love my daughter very much, I am so proud of her. I am though, in my eyes a good mother wether or not I am of age to have a kid. I just wanted people to know that even though what the sterotype for people in my situation is not everybody is a bad parent. There are people that come onto this show and are 45 and do horrible things in front of the innocent children. I am seventeen and my daughter is happy,  up to date on all of her immunizations, and is never hungry. I just want people to understand that even though I got pregnant at 16 I still love my daughter and I am still a good mother to her.
 
Reply with Quote Read Replies to this Message
winter3708
User Mood
Worried

Message Emote
blank
March 5, 2008, 7:05 am PST

help

HELLO,

    I'M A MOTHER OF A 15 YR OLD DAUGHER. She is sexually active. She has snuck out window to go have sex with my bestfriends son who lives next door. I'm affraid for her. I have educated her about sex before this even happen and she still did this. The boy is 15 also. Now I feel so much different towards her. I dont have trust for her . She wants me to trust her and how u do that when she has been lying soo much. I dont want to put her on birthcontrol because to me that is giving her the right to go have sex. So please tell me how to deal with this.

 
Reply with Quote Read Replies to this Message
Earthymama
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
March 5, 2008, 7:37 am PST

Teens and Sex

Quote From: winter3708

HELLO,

    I'M A MOTHER OF A 15 YR OLD DAUGHER. She is sexually active. She has snuck out window to go have sex with my bestfriends son who lives next door. I'm affraid for her. I have educated her about sex before this even happen and she still did this. The boy is 15 also. Now I feel so much different towards her. I dont have trust for her . She wants me to trust her and how u do that when she has been lying soo much. I dont want to put her on birthcontrol because to me that is giving her the right to go have sex. So please tell me how to deal with this.

Ok as a woman who was a teen mother and who's mom thought as you.  putting her on it isn't giving her a right but protecting her from an unwanted baby.  And the stress that comes with it.  also as part of her getting birth control...I would have her included in what kind she wanted to get and have her see and speak with an ob/gyn.

But she has already shown she is going to have sex...so protect her and start talking even more with her...you may not stop her but you can educate her on what is safe what is a myth. Again teaching her these things is not telling her it's ok but giving her the tools to be responsible with the choices she has choicen to make.

She is growing and you probably don't feel like you know her.  Hench why you feel different (i don't know I am guessing her) I can understand that but remember you are still her mother and you still have a job to do.

Tell her she broke your trust...and that she has to earn it back then tell her what she needs to do to earn it back.  remember be her mom and not her friend.

i don't know if I am being of any help but I know these are things i would have loved to have heard while growing up.

and remember the sex talk isn't a one time thing is should be an all the time thing.
 
Reply with Quote Read Replies to this Message
oet_gaol
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
March 5, 2008, 7:50 am PST

Teens and Sex

Quote From: winter3708

HELLO,

    I'M A MOTHER OF A 15 YR OLD DAUGHER. She is sexually active. She has snuck out window to go have sex with my bestfriends son who lives next door. I'm affraid for her. I have educated her about sex before this even happen and she still did this. The boy is 15 also. Now I feel so much different towards her. I dont have trust for her . She wants me to trust her and how u do that when she has been lying soo much. I dont want to put her on birthcontrol because to me that is giving her the right to go have sex. So please tell me how to deal with this.

No giving birth control is letting her protect herself against pregnancy and STD's which is VERY important because otherwise she might throw away her future and then where are you at.

 

Now you educated her about sex, that's good. But you have to remember that she is a person on her own. You have provided her with information and based on that she has made a decision. I know lot's of girls who lost their virginity at 15 it's not uncommon. their body is ready for it. In the olden days they would've had children by now! (If you wish to read more then please scroll down a bit I explained abstinence in more detail below.)

 

Also you say she has been lying, but why was she lying? If she had been honoust would you have respected her decision? Would you have let her date and/or have sex? Would you have an open mind and open discussion about it? Don't you know you wouldn't have?

 

She is getting older and with that comes sex, you can't protect her from that for ever you can only try to guide and hope for the best. I know that it is not the popular idea in the US but hey it has kept teens safe in the rest of the develloped world. Kinda wierd isn't it, letting them have sex actually is safer, but then it is easier to let them use birth control.
 
Reply with Quote Read Replies to this Message
crisisorchaos
User Mood
Mellow

Message Emote
hopeful
March 5, 2008, 12:14 pm PST

My thoughts exactly

 I know many people dont agree with teens having sex but the truth is there is not a single way that we can prevent them from not doing it. The best thing we can do for them is to teach safe sex practices and just give them as much information about it as possible so they can be informed and have a clue about consequences such as diseases and STDs and pregnancy. The best weapon available to us is knowledge but we first have to learn and understand what that means. Also, handing out birth control is a good idea, it deals with the practice of safe sex. Of course we shouldn't just hand it out, there should at least be some sort of parent consent form but the sex education class should be made mandatory by all school districts to make sure that all students are aware of everything that comes with the decision of having sex. The statistics show that abstinence alone is not doing what we were hoping the outcome to be but sex education is a better way to get through the kids. By this way, we can show the kids how they can protect themselves and make better decisions. What the kids choose to do with their knowledge is up to them but at least in the long run we know we helped them as much as we could, as much as possible. My name is Victoria and i am 17
 
Reply with Quote Read Replies to this Message
stefanie0840
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
March 6, 2008, 8:12 am PST

Teens and Sex

Quote From: proudteenmama

I am a teen mom, however unlike the couple that was on the show a while back I am earning a college degree and will be graduating this year. I also am looking forward to persuing a nursing degree. I was very upset to see teen mothers shown in such an awful way. I love my four month old daughter. She gets a bath every night she sleeps in her crib. I buy her diapers and yes I do have support from my parents. However, I am taking 21 credit hours at the local community college. I am being inducted into my colleges chapter of phi theta kappa on Wednesday. I love my daughter very much, I am so proud of her. I am though, in my eyes a good mother wether or not I am of age to have a kid. I just wanted people to know that even though what the sterotype for people in my situation is not everybody is a bad parent. There are people that come onto this show and are 45 and do horrible things in front of the innocent children. I am seventeen and my daughter is happy,  up to date on all of her immunizations, and is never hungry. I just want people to understand that even though I got pregnant at 16 I still love my daughter and I am still a good mother to her.

                                                                             

 

              good for u girl!i too had my first baby @17 and,he's 22 now.your doing good.keep on going for that degree thats the best u can do for your child.teens are going to have sex we as grown up need to know this and keep ur teens protected .i sworeto my mom i wasnt having sex and i was.i wish iwould have listened but i dont regret my son for nothing. 
 
Reply with Quote Read Replies to this Message
stefanie0840
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
March 6, 2008, 8:16 am PST

Teens and Sex

Quote From: crisisorchaos

 I know many people dont agree with teens having sex but the truth is there is not a single way that we can prevent them from not doing it. The best thing we can do for them is to teach safe sex practices and just give them as much information about it as possible so they can be informed and have a clue about consequences such as diseases and STDs and pregnancy. The best weapon available to us is knowledge but we first have to learn and understand what that means. Also, handing out birth control is a good idea, it deals with the practice of safe sex. Of course we shouldn't just hand it out, there should at least be some sort of parent consent form but the sex education class should be made mandatory by all school districts to make sure that all students are aware of everything that comes with the decision of having sex. The statistics show that abstinence alone is not doing what we were hoping the outcome to be but sex education is a better way to get through the kids. By this way, we can show the kids how they can protect themselves and make better decisions. What the kids choose to do with their knowledge is up to them but at least in the long run we know we helped them as much as we could, as much as possible. My name is Victoria and i am 17

 

 

                 i agree with you completely!
 
Reply with Quote Read Replies to this Message
music2bresears
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
March 6, 2008, 1:24 pm PST

Teens and Sex

Quote From: winter3708

HELLO,

    I'M A MOTHER OF A 15 YR OLD DAUGHER. She is sexually active. She has snuck out window to go have sex with my bestfriends son who lives next door. I'm affraid for her. I have educated her about sex before this even happen and she still did this. The boy is 15 also. Now I feel so much different towards her. I dont have trust for her . She wants me to trust her and how u do that when she has been lying soo much. I dont want to put her on birthcontrol because to me that is giving her the right to go have sex. So please tell me how to deal with this.

I'm kind of disgusted by the fact that you will not put her on birth control. She's already having sex, so you won't stop her. Trust me, you'd be raising the baby if she had one.

She's got the right to do whatever she wants, so make it safe. Some people would say that is bad parenting, but maybe you aren't considering her safety as much as you think you are.

You must know that you can't be selfish when you have a child, and that it's all about your little girl now. This world has changed so much, so we have to be prepared for what we know will happen. We might not want these things to happen, we might be afraid of them, but we have to get over ourselves.

Teenagers DON'T CARE what their parents say. You can't change now, your child knows you as you are. Help her be safe, don't let her ruin her future.

I'm thirteen years old, and I was on birth control for a couple months, because my mom was worried that when the time comes, I won't want to tell her. I appreciate her efforts immensely, I know she cares about my safety and well being. Although I am not planning to have sex until I'm married, I know what's going on. I still have a teenaged brain.

And we're not stupid.
 
Reply with Quote Read Replies to this Message
Post a Message

First | Prev | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 | 61 | Next | Last