Topic : Teens and Sex

I would just like to say that I am a student at university, also a waitress at a sports bar to support myself. I would say I am a respectfull person who has goals and ambitions. This teen craze about locking teens up tp prevent what we dont want them to do is so wrong. When I started seeing boys when I was younger, my mom had a big conversation with me about self-respect and protection. She did it without making me feel like she was taking my freedom or making me feel like I was wrong to even think about having sex. She just told me that it was my decision but to make sure that I was ready because girls get their hearts broken if they have sex without really wanting to. My mom said that a boy that truly respects me and truly deserves me will wait till I'm ready because that what  we do when we are in love, we respect the other person. She even shared with me her own experiences. She explained the risks about pregnancy and diseases. The choice was mine, but with the right tools, we make much clearer decisions that suit us a lot better. When I was ready to have sex, I told my mom. She brought me to see the doctor where I got not only the pill, but some more information from professionals. Again, the key to not make me angry and feeling frustrated with all this was to make me feel like its not something to be ashamed and that, in the end, it is my choice !!!!!!!  At 16 I had my first relation and im now 21 and still active. I've always use the pill and the condom wich is almost 100% safe. I 've had one accident but I had the tools to prevent and make things right (plan b pill  and tests at the clinic). I still talk about sex and relationship with my mother and I find myself even giving her advice :P

 

Parents are not our friends and they are not our bosses, they are just parents there to guide us and help us become the best adults we can be. We need education and tools to do that !!!!! Its plain and simple !!!! We need to no how to respect ourself and other.

 

and for school giving out birth control ....quite frankly I wouldnt of had that protection I needed and the professionnal help when I DIDNT want to tell nobody...something we do often when we are teens.

Caged birds always want out !!!!!

 

 Can I just say, that what I like about drphil is the open mind !!!! When he has narrow minded people on the show cant we all have a '' GET OVER IT '' button at home hahahahahahhaha just kidding

 

 

 I think many parents dont relize that teens know a lot more about safe sex then parents did in their time.  As soon as birth control came out no one thought a need for condoms anymore so aids and stds started.  Teens now know that condoms and birthcontrol are needed and many actually get checked at school by nurse or doctor to make sure they are safe and are not caring anything.  No matter what, this is one of thoughs topics where there will always be debate on teen sex

I am 17 and pregnant and i admire what you have done with the obstacles youve faced. I know how hard it is and i am not yet prepared for hard it will become but you are an inspiration to teen parents everywhere and i hope my life will turn out to be just as fullfilling as yours. Congratulations on life

This appeared in a national Dutch newspaper this week. It is a poll under 500 people aged 16-25.

 

Teens have sex for the first time right before they turn 17 on average. Also 71% has there first time with their partner, 15% with a friend and only 11% has a one night stand. So that is far off from the wild and crazy youth that moralists want us to believe teens are. They have a commited relationship in a majority of cases and only one in ten starts with a one night stand. The age isn't that low either though some teens do start at age 12 (or younger) with sex it only is a small percentage of teens who do.

 

And what about a lot of partners then? Well it isn't as bad as many people want us to believe, 62% has had experience with only one partner.

 

Sex in videoclips doesn't seem to bother our teens either almost 70% says that they are not affected by images in videoclips.

 

Internet on the other hand does have a large influence as 47% uses it to ask a question about sex and 31% to get aroused. a mere 5 percent uses it for sex chats, 3% for finding a sex partner and also 3% uses it to engage in webcam sex.

 

Safe sex is another story though almost 50% says they don't practice it or not always. Reasons vary from having a commited relationship to or having sex with someone whom they know don't have a STD (virgins amongst each other or so?)

 

So these are the results for a demoralized country as some would say. I think that US results would be scarier though.

You should talk to her and tell her what she is trying to do in innapropriate, and give her the reasons why. [You're too old, you love her, but in a family way] explain it to her.

I am a 15 year old girl and i would like to give you a teens point of view.
Your teen was brave enough to come home and tell you this! You should be happy that she is able to trust you.
Go with your daughter to get the pill, buy condoms or whatever contraceptives you need, and take her to the obgyn.
Even if you dont take your daughter to get all this stuff she will have sex anyway.
So think of it this way: at least you were able to go with your daughter to do all this, not only is it a bonding experience but it probably will bring you closer together.

well I'd suggest that you talk to her first. I find 13 to be a tad bit young to start having sex so I'd try to find out what her motives are. Is it her boyfriend who pushes her? Does she feel that everyone else has had sex and she didn't? Does she feel obliged? Is her expectation about sex realistic? etc. You need to see if she really feels that way or not. If not you should ecourage her to wait a bit longer untill she truly feels ready for it (don't confuse that with when you are ready for it...)  do this by saying it is okay to say no if you don't feel ready for it and taking away any unrealistic idea's about sex. Getting her on birth controll is a good idea anyways though...

In the first place she should had never been sleeping next to you, she should been next to her mother. You are the adult she is a child you need  talk to the mother and to the daughter together.  Do not make the mother choose sides you all have to work this out. You need to get your step daughter help and now. Don't  you become a child molester, your family needs family help NOW

Dear Dr. Phil,

I was very upset to hear

Greg say the harm to the children is shoert term or no harm.  Greg my son is forty years old ans is still upset and hurt . You are nuts if you think youe kids are okay let alone her kids, I still talk to my stepson and he not okay either. Oh by the way both men have passed away and all children are hurt.. Mine and the other mans. Please think about it, not for me but for the kids.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Dr. Phil,

I was very upset to hear

Greg say the harm to the children is Short term or no harm.  Greg my son is forty years old ans is still upset and hurt . You are nuts if you think your kids are okay let alone her kids, I still talk to my stepson and he not okay either. Oh by the way both men have passed away and all children are hurt.. Mine and the other mans. Please think about it, not for me but for the kids.