This is the honest truth: teenagers are going to be curious about sex, and will almost always be up for learning new things. It's only in developed countries that teenagers wait until they're older, or married, to engage in sexual acts or intercourse. Waiting is not human nature, nor customary in other nations or countries.
There are countries that allow their men to have multiple wives, both young teens and women alike. Young girls are expected to be mothers by certain ages, sometimes 13 or 14. I know many Americans can't imaging their daughter having to uphold this expectation, but if we lived in another country, this topic would not be up for discussion.
There are MANY aspects of a teenage relationship that parents don't take into consideration. Such as:
Adults have sex to make their relationships better/last longer, so why can't teens? (adult answer: Not responsible) Well, there are PLENTLY of adults out there who don't have the means to care for a surprise child, yet they still do the deed. What makes it different? Sex is enjoyed by two people who want a stronger connection, so I don't see why teenagers having sex is different.
Teenage abortions are on the rise: Adults have abortions, too. We hear all the statistics about teen abortions, but remember that everyone with a uterus and working parts is able to not only have a child, but also have an abortion. not always willing, but physically able. Don't consider us reckless if we have one, think about all the grown women that abort.
STDs are a major problem: Adults can catch STDs just as easily as a teenager can, so again...not seeing a big difference.
Teenage emotions are different than adults: this is true, but I'm sure there are millions of adults out there that become emotionally attched to the men or women they have sex with. Virginity is a big debate amongst parents of teens, but what if your child doesn't view virginity as an important part of their INDIVIDUAL lives? They are people, too. Teens make the choice as to whether they'll wait or not, and no amount of parental dogging will stop a teen who's ready and waiting. Sorry to hurt your parental pride, but you lose control as we get older.
Don't call us names when you're upset. EVER. My mom and sister fight alot, and my sister is no longer a virgin by choice. My mom sometimes resents her for that, and will call her a "slut", "whore", etc. my sister was in a DEDICATED relationship when she had sex, so it was a mature decision. It's no different than an adult being in a commited relationship having sex: I know many more adults actually having casual sex than I do teenagers!
Get out of the parent mind set just for a minute: think honestly about the topic. The human brain is geared toward successful reproduction, it doesn't magically start at seventeen or eighteen. Your teenager is a mammal, as you are, who has animalistic urges. Sex is a natural and healthy part of everyone's lives.
and Single parents: stop being hipocrites. If you're pushing abstinence until marriage and having sex with a partner you met recently, what sort of message is that sending to your kids? It doesn't matter that you've already been married, you're XX years old, make $XXXXX.XX a month/year, etc.- the only thing your child will see is that you don't practice what you preach. And that's unfair.
Think long and hard about ALL decisions you make with regard to your teens and sexuality. Truth be told, America/Great Britain/etc. (developed countries) are actually the weird ones when it comes to sex.
Open_Eyes
