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Topic : Teens and Sex

Number of Replies: 621
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 01:22:25 pm
Author : dataimport
How do you talk to your teens about sex? Share your story.

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October 23, 2005, 10:45 pm CDT

JUST SAY NO!!!

Quote From: kstwin64

I'm trying to understand why you asked HIM to seek counseling. Isn't your soon-to-be-18 daughter able to figure out that an (alleged) abuser needs an "abusee" and if that's the role she chooses wouldn't it be better to say you'll pay for her counseling and then for her wedding when she successfully competes counseling?
 Now granted I'm not a mom of a 17 year old girl. I do however remember being that age and the ignorance that comes along with that age. I too was 15 when I met "Tim" an 18 year old Senior and while the simple 3 year difference didn't seem like much to me my parents were very aprehensive. Needless to say I piched my fit but in the end my parents were right. Mark my words to all you parents of teens and young girls who think they no best. THERE IS NOTHING NOTHING that a 25 year old man and a 17 year old have in common.  Although at that age sometimes it seems to be the cool thing to do, who in their teens didn't have an older crush wether it was your brothers best friend or a movie star we all had them. The only good that could come out of that  is well I can't think of any. I became a mom at a very young age. Here I am now 22 with two kids and divorced. The best thing a parent can do is be honest but receptive. There are alot of times parents come off as demanding or even controling when in fact it goes easier when you are at least receptive to what your child is trying to tell you. You may not like the answers, thoughts or responses, but too many times teens feel as though their parents "don't understand them". Let your daughter know that while you understand the way she is feeling, she needs to take a step back and realize what types of consequeces may come out of it.  Also beware if she feels pushed away or taken back from you it could only push her closer to the man you are trying so hard to stop her from seeing. And wake up call, you can't watch her every minute of every day. I know I decieved my parents all to often to know how easy it was.
 
October 24, 2005, 11:17 am CDT

help my friend

I am not a mother but a friend of a mother that has a 14 year old daughter that is having sex with her 15 year old boyfriend. They have been dating for 8 months and is already going that far in to the relationship. She is on birth control and I am really worried that she is going to have hormonal problems latter in life.  She does not even car if she gets pregnant .HELLO SHE HAS NO JOB! She has already has thought she was pregnant and did not even flinch. Dr. Phil I am really worried that she is going to have a baby and ruin her life at the age of 14. 

  

                                                                                  Sincerely, 

                                                                            concerned friend 

 
October 24, 2005, 2:07 pm CDT

...

Yes, communication is VERY important. It is incredibly vital to not be ashamed or embarrassed to talk about sex. Don't wince when you child says the word "sex" or make a reference to sex,  but guide them. Also, your pre-teen(ager) may have a boy/girlfriend, and it may be no big deal, just watch for sexual activity in your pre-teen(ager). Talk to them about what is and isn't acceptable. In my mind, holding hands and hugging is ok, as well are movies and coming to dinner. Your pre-teen(ager) should also be very open to talk about their boy/girlfriends background, family, and how they behave. Though you  may think of it as intruding, talking to your child could save them. Be very serious, calm, and relaxed. Tensity can make them defensive.
 
October 24, 2005, 11:17 pm CDT

Teens and Sex

Quote From: calebmom22

 Now granted I'm not a mom of a 17 year old girl. I do however remember being that age and the ignorance that comes along with that age. I too was 15 when I met "Tim" an 18 year old Senior and while the simple 3 year difference didn't seem like much to me my parents were very aprehensive. Needless to say I piched my fit but in the end my parents were right. Mark my words to all you parents of teens and young girls who think they no best. THERE IS NOTHING NOTHING that a 25 year old man and a 17 year old have in common.  Although at that age sometimes it seems to be the cool thing to do, who in their teens didn't have an older crush wether it was your brothers best friend or a movie star we all had them. The only good that could come out of that  is well I can't think of any. I became a mom at a very young age. Here I am now 22 with two kids and divorced. The best thing a parent can do is be honest but receptive. There are alot of times parents come off as demanding or even controling when in fact it goes easier when you are at least receptive to what your child is trying to tell you. You may not like the answers, thoughts or responses, but too many times teens feel as though their parents "don't understand them". Let your daughter know that while you understand the way she is feeling, she needs to take a step back and realize what types of consequeces may come out of it.  Also beware if she feels pushed away or taken back from you it could only push her closer to the man you are trying so hard to stop her from seeing. And wake up call, you can't watch her every minute of every day. I know I decieved my parents all to often to know how easy it was.
calebmom22: was your post really intended as a reply to mine? I'm sorry, I can't find the connection.
 
October 25, 2005, 5:32 am CDT

unsure

so...how would you handle this situation? walking in on your 17 year old boy and his 17 year old girlfriend  having sex. they are both out of high school with above average grades i might add. and away at differant universities most of the time.  they have been steady for 4 years. i have had talks with both about safe sex...morning after pill...abstinence...but, well, now i have come face to face with it, so to speak. what do i say to him especially. patty
 
October 25, 2005, 9:18 am CDT

Teens and Sex

Quote From: parchambo

so...how would you handle this situation? walking in on your 17 year old boy and his 17 year old girlfriend  having sex. they are both out of high school with above average grades i might add. and away at differant universities most of the time.  they have been steady for 4 years. i have had talks with both about safe sex...morning after pill...abstinence...but, well, now i have come face to face with it, so to speak. what do i say to him especially. patty
Why would you say anything to him? I mean, 4 years is enough to know if you love each other.. If he's happy, let him be happy. If he is mature enough to keep a girlfriend for 4 years, he's also mature enough to know if they are both ready for having sex.
 
October 25, 2005, 2:45 pm CDT

sex bracelets

Quote From: sellingen

 first off im 16.  and to parents...please dont thing those jelly bracelets are sex bracelets!  half the kids who wear them have no clue what they mean.  this is another one of those cases that has gotten blown out of proportion by different organizations, local news and other media.  it probably started with a group of kids as a joke and has all of a sudden been turned into something else.  and as soon ass law and order had an episode on it parents freaked.  yes im sure there are people who will go out and wear them because of that but as long as your daughter doesnt then you have nothing to worry about.  anyone remember maddona wearing these?  granted she isnt he best example but no one called them sex bracelets when she wore them.

if you want to find out what the colors mean do a google search, im sure you will find a color guide somewhere.


im 16 and where i live and go to school they are called sex bracelets. now these sex bracelets are the thin ones not the thick ones that have writting on them. the colors mean 

yellow: Hugging 

purple: kissing 

red: lap dance 

blue: oral sex 

black: intercourse 

pink: making out or going out(the person who breaks it decides) 

maybe if u ask ur child what they mean or just talk with them about them it might help 

take care and be bless 

  

 
October 25, 2005, 5:09 pm CDT

my highschool story

I am only 22 and obviously have alot to learn, but from when I was in high school, my group of friends where all brought up different and al had different views on sex.. these are made up names....Jessy, parents said that if sex was happening she would be kicked out of the house, she had sex and had her  first baby when she was 16, i asked her why she didn't use birth control she said her doctor said you needed parental permission, she still to this day has no job.. hasn't finished high school and is living with her wonderful parents with the baby, her parents were almost retired. Ashley, with a a high school sweetheart for 5 years, parents never talked about sex with her, but got her birth control as she said it was to get rid of her so called acne, she and her boyfriend are still together plan to get married and they have a 6 month year old little boy. Chrisy... is still a virgin and says she will stay that way till marriage, parents were open and honest with her about sex and she chose that decision for her self. Allison, parents didn't speak to her about sex, and she is wild, no babies, but she has STD, with her it was too many people( male and female)... My story, first person I had sex WITH was my high school sweet heart of 3 years, my mom was so open when talking to me about sex it freaked me out, but i thank her now, i have not had many sexual partners and I am now married to the most amazing man in the world.  The point of my story is every teen is different, and the discussion they have or don't have with their parents are different, and the results again are different . please talk to to your kids about sex, get them the birth control that they need, and be honest with your teens, I thank my Mom to this day for how she helped me. 

 
October 25, 2005, 5:43 pm CDT

Good for you!!

Quote From: hurtingurl

hi..im 16 & sadly 2 say it..i've never had "the talk", my parents have never talked 2 me about sex before so i could of been out when i was 13 having sex with #'s of guys..the word hasnt even ever been mentioned in my house!!!...usually parents are soooo paranoid about where their kids are & stuff & when i want 2 go somewhere im like "mom im goin' 2 my friends this weekend" & shes like "whatever"...they've never sat down with me 2 talk about the dangers of sex,drug abuse,& drinkingi've learned all that stuff in school & from my friendsdo they just not care about me that much that i could be having sex with guys and they wouldnt even know???...im 16 & im proud to say im still a virgin..& yes im a huge christian/lutheran & im waiting til marriage for that special someonebut i just cant figure out why they've never talked 2 me about it before...im surprised i wanted them 2 talk 2 me about it because usually teens are like "ewwwww...gross..dont talk about that" but im obviously not like that& 1 more question...r any of you guys scared of being raped or molested???...i am..when im in dark places or walking at night with friends it scares me so i try 2 walk faster to where ever im goin'well...hope u reply...ttyl

I just want to applaud you for your decision to save yourself for marriage.  If teens would only think forward as you have, so much pain, anguish, social problems, and heartache could be avoided.  I don't know how people's morals got so loose, but teenage girls and boys need to abstain from this risky, emotionally-charged, and downright immoral behavior.   

  

I, too saved myself for marriage for moral/religious reasons, and I couldn't have made a better decision.  I applaud you for deciding to wait and hope others will follow suit.  I have two wonderful kids now, a great husband, and ZERO regrets.  What's more valuable than that? 

 
October 25, 2005, 6:11 pm CDT

Teens and Sex

Im 20 years old and expecting a baby. My parents had the sex talk with me when I was 12. In my elementry school (which was catholic) we were supposed to fill out these chastity cards. I obviously didn't do that. I made the choice to make love and lose my virginity at 18  to the man that I'm still completely in love with, my parents understood. They weren't mad. I know other girls who have had this talk and lost their virginty at an age alot younger than I was. My parents are just happy with the fact that I waited til I found someone I truely love than have sex with any random boyfriend I had in the past.
 
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