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Topic : Teens and Sex

Number of Replies: 621
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 01:22:25 pm
Author : dataimport
How do you talk to your teens about sex? Share your story.

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October 25, 2005, 6:55 pm CDT

good for you!

Quote From: crystle15

Im 20 years old and expecting a baby. My parents had the sex talk with me when I was 12. In my elementry school (which was catholic) we were supposed to fill out these chastity cards. I obviously didn't do that. I made the choice to make love and lose my virginity at 18  to the man that I'm still completely in love with, my parents understood. They weren't mad. I know other girls who have had this talk and lost their virginty at an age alot younger than I was. My parents are just happy with the fact that I waited til I found someone I truely love than have sex with any random boyfriend I had in the past.
 Good for you! i think that was a very smart chioce of you. I am 15 and i have the same views like you i have been with a guy for little over a year now and we still have chosen not to have sex untill we are both over 18. i care alot about this one and he cares a lot about me and i just wanted to let you know  you are a role model to me at least i know there is someone out there other than me that thinks sex at a young age is a bad chioce.
 
October 25, 2005, 7:10 pm CDT

I know where your coming from

Quote From: littlemomo

I just want to applaud you for your decision to save yourself for marriage.  If teens would only think forward as you have, so much pain, anguish, social problems, and heartache could be avoided.  I don't know how people's morals got so loose, but teenage girls and boys need to abstain from this risky, emotionally-charged, and downright immoral behavior.   

  

I, too saved myself for marriage for moral/religious reasons, and I couldn't have made a better decision.  I applaud you for deciding to wait and hope others will follow suit.  I have two wonderful kids now, a great husband, and ZERO regrets.  What's more valuable than that? 

 I know exactly what you mean all i got for the talk is " Just don't do something to jeopardize your life" or " just be smart and don't get pregnant" And as i am not one who attendeds church i still believe that someone should at least wait until they believe they are fully alright with having sex with anyone no matter who they are and what they have to offer. I have been with a guy for a over a year and i still and proud to say i am a virgin two and so is he, thats the way we plan to keep it until we are older or even better married. I to some times wonder what if?or who and where am i being watched.. but don't worry walking fast to get to where you need to go is alright i do it  to.. there is no reason why not to be more aware of your surrounding's
 
October 25, 2005, 7:55 pm CDT

Teens and Sex

Quote From: kstwin64

calebmom22: was your post really intended as a reply to mine? I'm sorry, I can't find the connection.
I'm younger than your daughter and i can understand how both of you feel. i have no what so ever reason not to agree with you..not even i would want my friends to be with someone that much older then them. you won't lose her.. your protecting her.. if you were to leave it alone who knows what this guy no i should say man is capable of doing. i know what you are thinking and same for her i bet she is thinking that she's old enough to make the right decisions and which i have no reason to believe she can't but she as all mothers, daughters, and wife's need guidance once and awhile. yes you shouldn't be on her case even though you are worried that she will go out with him without your consent and do what you don't approve of. but the bottom line is talk to her lisen and talk and make her lisen two she will make the best choice she thinks is right. and as for you as a mother you wonder what can i do to make her see what on earth would open her eyes but we all need to learn from our own mistakes sometimes we have to let them learn for their own, but there is no reason at all you can't keep an eye out on them at times you feel they need you the most.
 
October 25, 2005, 10:54 pm CDT

Porn schmorn.

Quote From: bacohen8

 Yes I am glad they are not having sex, but what is happening to them and their ideas about women is being poluted. Take a hypothetical situation. Suppose they start to gravitate toward S & M sites. They will become programmed that this is what they like and then all women like this. They will never be able to have a normal relationship. Suppose they become fixated on Big Boobs, they will never give a woman with out Big boobs a chance. Women come in all sizes and shapes. They need to learn that women are people not a collection of body parts that are used for getting off. This is not something that a Teen ager should be answering, Why in the world are you even bothering to read this??
 I'm a nineteen year old female and my boyfriend here is twenty-two.  Both of us have sought out porn on the internet since the time we hit puberty (or maybe a little before).  He did and still does in fact watch pornography with well-endowed women.  But here we are, three years into our relationship later, but he still enjoys my less-than-substantial breasts.  It's just a fantasy.  Don't you have fantasies that perhaps your husband or boyfriend couldn't live up to?  Additionally, just because I like S&M doesn't mean I want to practice it all the time during sex or that it carries into how I feel about myself outside of the bedroom.  It doesn't make me feel l'm an object to be walked all over or abused just because women in sadomasochistic pornography often are.  You should also know that a GREAT deal of S&M includes men being dominated and used.

Concerning the last sentence of your posting, I don't recall there being a posting warning telling teenagers they were not allowed to post their opinions. 
 
October 26, 2005, 12:54 am CDT

A Teen's Experience

I know the topic is for parents, but I think that teens should comment on this too. I grew up in a household where voiced feelings were unwanted. Sex was a word that was never said and if it was, well my parents got real edgy. I never got the sex talk, I had to find out from friends and experimenting. I think that a parent should sit down with their teen (not child) and discuss sex, but not lecturing and threatening. Perhaps you should find out what the teen knows first before anything is discussed. I wish that my stepmom had informed me about certain things b/c sometimes I had to find out the hard way.
 
October 28, 2005, 4:37 pm CDT

just wanted to add

Quote From: kstwin64

Just wanted to say that you sound like the exception rather than the rule: that is, you're happy with your baby because you're independently able to provide financially and emotionally for the child and your individual maintenance. Sounds like you have also successfully reconcilled to the fact that the father of your child is not in the picture either financially or emotionally.  

  

To me, those youngsters who get in your circumstance and then rely on welfare or put the burden on their own parents to meet all their needs give all young single parents a bad rap. 

  oh i thought i would add because i forgot last time the dad is in the picture. He works all day and the biggest joy in his life is to come home and see his Booger Monster. She is a very big daddys girl and ifd she doesnt see him for a day she is cranky. I dont believe that people should use welfare get off your butt get a job and get responsible....and thats what were doing. Also i just thought i would add that she is a very spoiled 8 month old. 

  

 
October 28, 2005, 8:36 pm CDT

Teens and Sex

Quote From: shaelana

  oh i thought i would add because i forgot last time the dad is in the picture. He works all day and the biggest joy in his life is to come home and see his Booger Monster. She is a very big daddys girl and ifd she doesnt see him for a day she is cranky. I dont believe that people should use welfare get off your butt get a job and get responsible....and thats what were doing. Also i just thought i would add that she is a very spoiled 8 month old. 

  

I hope, with your apparent enthusiasm about your daddy's girl, that she has involved grandparents, too. 

  

Your comment, "I dont believe that people should use welfare," should be flexible. I had a very good friend who, having 2 kids and thru no choice of her own (she did have a deadbeat ex), had a sharp reduction in income. As a result she qualified for food stamps, but her pride would not let her go down to the welfare and apply. I figuratively had to kick in the butt to make her realize that she had paid taxes and that she was actually ENTITLED to use FS for the month or two she was going to need them.  And she did, but she was embarrassed. But I'm glad to say, she finished nurse's training and became a MedFlight nurse. Way to go, Gal!  

 
November 3, 2005, 9:55 am CST

Its hard for parents too

Quote From: hurtingurl

hi..im 16 & sadly 2 say it..i've never had "the talk", my parents have never talked 2 me about sex before so i could of been out when i was 13 having sex with #'s of guys..the word hasnt even ever been mentioned in my house!!!...usually parents are soooo paranoid about where their kids are & stuff & when i want 2 go somewhere im like "mom im goin' 2 my friends this weekend" & shes like "whatever"...they've never sat down with me 2 talk about the dangers of sex,drug abuse,& drinkingi've learned all that stuff in school & from my friendsdo they just not care about me that much that i could be having sex with guys and they wouldnt even know???...im 16 & im proud to say im still a virgin..& yes im a huge christian/lutheran & im waiting til marriage for that special someonebut i just cant figure out why they've never talked 2 me about it before...im surprised i wanted them 2 talk 2 me about it because usually teens are like "ewwwww...gross..dont talk about that" but im obviously not like that& 1 more question...r any of you guys scared of being raped or molested???...i am..when im in dark places or walking at night with friends it scares me so i try 2 walk faster to where ever im goin'well...hope u reply...ttyl

Don't feel like your parents don't care.  They are probably just blind to the world today and just don't think that you are exposed.  If the topic hasn't come up they don't want to bring it up.  They may feel that they will be putting ideas into your head as well.  It is awkward and difficult to talk to kids about these subjects.  I have a 13 year old step-daughter who squirms at every subject about sex and drugs.  Another possibility is that they are confident in the morals that they have taught you and in you that they expect you will make the right decisions.  I make it a point for one to always know where my kids are.  Who, what, when, where, etc. Your mom may also trust your friends you have chosen as well.  Maybe she has overheard your vow to save yourself and feels that she doesn't need to go there now.  If they haven't brought it up with you and you need that from them.. you can still bring it up to them.  See what wisdom they can give you.  It may make them feel good to know you came to them for advice.  They can answer your questions a lot better than your friends or your computer.   

As far as being raped and molested.  Keep yourself out of any potential situation. Don't be alone with anyone.  Stay in well lit areas with a lot of people around you.  Don't be foolded by a guy into going some place a little more private to "talk".  Go with your gut.  If something doesn't feel right it's not.  I hope this helps.  Good luck! 

 
November 3, 2005, 10:08 am CST

Plenty of Time

Quote From: june7th

 Ok so here goes... i have been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend for over 19 months. We were both virgins when we decided that after being tested for stds and researching birth control we would have sex. We had been dating for one year and we were both ready for it. We are both very mature and were careful. My parents read my e-mails and ims to see what i was talking about with my friends and found out that we had had sex, they were very diasppointed but i think they knew that it would eventually happen. They sat us down and had "the talk" they almost broke us up but then decided that if we promised it would never happen again we could stay together. After this talk i realized how hard that promise would be to keep, and i am usually a very honest person but i felt as if it was unfair for them to make us promise that or break us up, they really gave me no choice but to agree, i love my boyfriend and i know i couldn't leave him, but i also should have known i couldn't keep this promise.  Is it wrong for me to want to have sex? i know that i am young but i am also responsible and cautious about this decision, i know what could happen but i am taking every precaution possible to prevent me from getting pregnant. i should talk to my parents and tell them how i feel but that would risk me losing the person i love and want to have a future with.

You didn't mention your age of you and your boyfriend so I'm not sure how old you are.  I will tell you though based on my life that it is a hard thing to deal with.  These feelings are normal.  Your parents are looking out for what is best for you.  You are still young and there is plenty of time in life for sex.  I don't know where you stand religiously, but the bible does tell us to wait until marriage.  It makes sense.  There is more to love and being in a relationship than sex.  I think lately society is making sex too casual.  Sex is supposed to be a sacred thing.  Yes you love your boyfriend and I totally understand you there.  You do not have to have sex just because you are in love.  If you need to continue to have sex with him to keep him around, I'm not so sure it is even love on his side.  It is very common that women give sex to get love and men tend to give love to get sex.  Sex has a way of clouding true feelings and it actually can hurt a healthy relationship.  It is good that you are being careful to protect yourself from pregnancy and STD's, but there are other reasons for waiting.   Also at a young age it is not likely that you will spend the rest of your life with him.  I know you may want to but you have to realize that it may not happen.  The statistic I think is that you will have 3 new partners per year.  Think about your age now and the age you think you will be when you get married.  Do you think that is appropriate?  If you give in to your temptations now, when will it stop.  True strength comes from resisting the temptation and going for the longer goals.  If your relationship was meant to be, it will be stronger and better if you wait and build your relationship with out the sex. 
 
November 4, 2005, 3:24 am CST

SEX LIFE IN DIFFRENT COUNTRY

Quote From: steprachel

You didn't mention your age of you and your boyfriend so I'm not sure how old you are.  I will tell you though based on my life that it is a hard thing to deal with.  These feelings are normal.  Your parents are looking out for what is best for you.  You are still young and there is plenty of time in life for sex.  I don't know where you stand religiously, but the bible does tell us to wait until marriage.  It makes sense.  There is more to love and being in a relationship than sex.  I think lately society is making sex too casual.  Sex is supposed to be a sacred thing.  Yes you love your boyfriend and I totally understand you there.  You do not have to have sex just because you are in love.  If you need to continue to have sex with him to keep him around, I'm not so sure it is even love on his side.  It is very common that women give sex to get love and men tend to give love to get sex.  Sex has a way of clouding true feelings and it actually can hurt a healthy relationship.  It is good that you are being careful to protect yourself from pregnancy and STD's, but there are other reasons for waiting.   Also at a young age it is not likely that you will spend the rest of your life with him.  I know you may want to but you have to realize that it may not happen.  The statistic I think is that you will have 3 new partners per year.  Think about your age now and the age you think you will be when you get married.  Do you think that is appropriate?  If you give in to your temptations now, when will it stop.  True strength comes from resisting the temptation and going for the longer goals.  If your relationship was meant to be, it will be stronger and better if you wait and build your relationship with out the sex. 
I my name is Patrick I live in Britin/Scotland I was just reading dome of the e-mails  and I was wondering what age you need to be in America to have sex. In this country you are aloud to have sex at the age of 15 years and 6 months I was just wondering what u thot about this so if you could send me an e-mail telling me thank you.
 
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