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Topic : Troubled Teens

Number of Replies: 1351
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Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 01:31:34 pm
Author : dataimport
Is your teen headed down a path of self destruction with drugs, alcohol, eating disorders, self injury, depression, or problems with the law? Share advice and support with other parents of troubled teens.

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February 6, 2009, 4:41 pm CST

!6 yr. old daughter moved out and living in party house

My 16 yr. old daughter won't live at home because we told her she must follow our rules and she won't.  So we told her she can live with other family (Gramdma) but she won't do that either.   So, she has got Welfare for herself as a student.  She gets money for rent and food but must stay in high school and keep good attendance to be able to stay on the assistance.  Now she shares a one bedroom apt. with an 18 yr. old girl.  One sleeps in the main (living area) and one in the tiny bedroom.   It's very small.   Of course they can't afford anything more then that.   Since they moved in there has been no stop traffice of friends and people hanging out there smoking drugs and drinking.   My daughter is a none smoker but knew her room mate smoked before.   So now my daughter is upset because her room mate had said she would smoke outside but has changed her mind on that since they moved in.   All the room mates friends smoke too.   So, every day there are an average of 6 people in there smoking cigerates and drugs too.  My daughter is mad but she still says it's my fault she can't live with me due to my husband and my rules.   She had simple rules here....no swearing in the house, turn lights off when you leave a room, turn music down when asked, be respectful, but she can't seem to handle any of these.
I am very worried about her living arangements and i am sure her belongings will be stollen too.  She has a Lap Top, Ipod, digital cam, a desk top PC, a sony stero all in the apt.   I'm sure these so called "friends they have hanging out there will take her stuff.    I am so stressed about this.   I just wish she would see that life here at home was and is much better and safer for her.    What can I do though?

Worried Mom
 
February 6, 2009, 5:05 pm CST

arrested for pot pipes (Bongs) ??

Because my daughter lives with a room mate that smokes pot and keeps lots of pipes (bongs) in their apt. can my daughter be busted too just because she is living there?

I think someone will call the cops soon because of all the partying and people coming and going.  My daughter says it's not her stuff so she won't get into trouble.  But I am sure she will.   She doesn't listen to me though.   What can I do?

Looking for answers
 
February 21, 2009, 8:02 pm CST

use to hurt the ppl I loved

Hi I am 17.I started self-harming at 14  for so many reasons.I guess there were so many things that just hit so hard like fights with both parents,I lost my earrings. So I took one of the sharpest knives in the kitchen and put scratches on mi right arm(left handed).I went to a crisis center and was sent to a community live in center to live at for a few days. I hurt mi mom,dad and miself.mi parents are not together but they were concered.I did it a few times up til i was in grade 10.it started in grade 8.I feel better now that i talked to so many ppl and school projects really helped me release the emotions.
 
March 17, 2009, 7:22 am CDT

My 12 year old son

 I feel as though I've lost the son that I knew. I can not believe my son's behavior at 12 years old and how disrespectful he is to me.  I have three boys and he is the oldest.  He has been the most challenging, but I know all kids are different and I love them for who they are.  At a young age my son was said to be ADHD, ADD.  I divorced when my son was 4 because his father was an alcoholic and would become violent only when drinking was involved.  His father was in and out when he was younger.  He is more involved now, and I know he loves him, but I don't know how healthy it is at times.  He does not hold Gabe accountable for his actions and is always making excuses for him.  Recently I caught him with cigarettes and his father made no big deal about it and said he's not smoking them?? I just don't get it. He's 12 not 18.  He has become violent at my home and has called me terrible names as well as raised his fist to me.....I didn't want to but had to call his father, because he is bigger than me and how do you control them at that point when your words do not matter...or they are laughing at you when you tell them to do something??  It was very scary for me as well as my 10 year old...my youngest is 3...My finacee tries to speak with him, but he can only do so much....otherwise his father gets angry.....I am going to get him into some kind of counseling, but I feel powerless right now.....

 
March 18, 2009, 9:29 am CDT

12 y. o.

Quote From: uktackett

 I feel as though I've lost the son that I knew. I can not believe my son's behavior at 12 years old and how disrespectful he is to me.  I have three boys and he is the oldest.  He has been the most challenging, but I know all kids are different and I love them for who they are.  At a young age my son was said to be ADHD, ADD.  I divorced when my son was 4 because his father was an alcoholic and would become violent only when drinking was involved.  His father was in and out when he was younger.  He is more involved now, and I know he loves him, but I don't know how healthy it is at times.  He does not hold Gabe accountable for his actions and is always making excuses for him.  Recently I caught him with cigarettes and his father made no big deal about it and said he's not smoking them?? I just don't get it. He's 12 not 18.  He has become violent at my home and has called me terrible names as well as raised his fist to me.....I didn't want to but had to call his father, because he is bigger than me and how do you control them at that point when your words do not matter...or they are laughing at you when you tell them to do something??  It was very scary for me as well as my 10 year old...my youngest is 3...My finacee tries to speak with him, but he can only do so much....otherwise his father gets angry.....I am going to get him into some kind of counseling, but I feel powerless right now.....

There is no instant "cure", but you are on the right track to improvement.  Make counseling arrangements as soon as you can, and be sure that the counseling will include you.  It may be appropriate to bring others  (your son's dad, your fiancee) into it as well, but leave that to the therapist to judge.   Your son's behavior reflects a wide range of influences, and those of authority closest to him need to present a common position in a consistent way.  The therapist can help you with that while she/he helps your son sort throughthe different influences and help him to make good judgements.
 
April 29, 2009, 10:47 am CDT

Troubled 12 year old son

I have a 12 year old step son he lives with me and his father and my two children.  I have a daughter that is 12 and a son that is 9. We are having so much trouble with our 12 year old son.  He is very disrespectful, lies, steals, bullies, tries to set the house on fire, cuts his hair, refuses to do school work.  This has been going on even before his father and he moved in with me.  His dad has report cards that state "Jack" does not do his homework, "Jack" does not listen in class.....etc. When they moved in I treated him just like my kids, going over homework, helping when they needed it, showing easy ways to do homework....etc. Then it got to the point where he wanted you to show him the answers, he did not even try to look for his self.  His father said he does this all the time.  His grades are horrible.  We want to hold him back in 7th grade but the school says he is passing.  His grades the 3rd 9 weeks were 3 D - 2 E- and 2 - F's and it has been bad since the begining.  We tried spending more time with just him thinking maybe he needed more attention from us and that didn't help he started lying.  Then one night we found him trying to burn sticks while in bed and blamed our 9 year old son for it. He even started trying to cause fights between me and his father.  It got so bad we let him stay with my sister for 5 months.  He started stealing from them, lying, and hitting the other kids.  So we brought him back home.  We tried to ground him for a while and that did not work. We tried counseling he lies to the counselor all the time.  He still will not do his homework and still causes problems.  We thought about putting him in a group home to get counseling all the time.  We don't know what else to do.....Any help is greatly appreciated PLEASE!!!!!!!!
 
May 11, 2009, 3:25 pm CDT

If this were your kid...

What would you do?

 

Say you have a 16-year-old daughter. She seems like a totally normal, goal-driven, happy girl--not one to follow trends or go against her beliefs. You know she doesn't care for her body, but you don't think it really bothers her too much; after all, she doesn't seem to stress about it as much as other girls her age. You know she's way more worried about her schooling--she's advanced at least one year in every class. She always says how she's happy and she loves you and even herself.

 

And then your daughter sits you down and says, "Mom/Dad, I'm bulimic."

What do you do?

 

I ask because, well, I'm a 16-year-old bulimic. I'm trying to stop on my own, and it's hard. I'm thinking of telling my mom, but I'm scared of her reaction. So what might a parent do in that situation?

 
May 11, 2009, 3:30 pm CDT

Troubled Teens

Quote From: amberlt

Because my daughter lives with a room mate that smokes pot and keeps lots of pipes (bongs) in their apt. can my daughter be busted too just because she is living there?

I think someone will call the cops soon because of all the partying and people coming and going.  My daughter says it's not her stuff so she won't get into trouble.  But I am sure she will.   She doesn't listen to me though.   What can I do?

Looking for answers

If there's anything that could indicate your daughter being involved--a bong in her room, her prints on a bong, failing a blood test--then yeah, she could be busted.

 

She shouldn't be rooming with a pothead anyway. It's easy to drag people down.

 
May 18, 2009, 1:39 pm CDT

16 yr old daughter is terrified

I have been divorced since my 16 yr old daughter was 2 yrs old.  Her father and I maintained an amicable relationship for her sake until the last year or so.  I gave her a little too much freedom with a friend that she has known all of her life.  She took advantage of this and ended up losing her virginity to someone she hardly knew.  She and the other girl were spending the night at a boys house instead of where they were supposed to be (apparently the girls parents didn't care).  When I found out where she was, I went to the house and retrieved her.  I then had to go back to work.  She knew she had screwed up severely and quickly called her father to come and pick her up.  She quickly made up alot of accusations against me to plead her case so that he wouldn't ask real questions.  She launched a hate campaign against me and quickly became absorbed in her "new life".  She told him she wanted to live with him which was music to his ears and he immediately filed for custody.  I knew on the other hand that once the "smoke cleared" she would want to come back home.  I tried to warn him that he was just being manipulated but he wouldn't hear it.  After excessive legal costs and much heartache, she decided she wanted to come home.  Her father was furious with her and told her she had ruined his life.  He began to torment her on the phone, and told here she would not be going on a cruise that they (his wife and 16 yr old stepdaughter) had planned because he didn't want her to ruin it for everyone.  Over the last year, he has called her screaming at her for not calling him, etc.  She has seen him twice in the last year.  She has been devastated by this and we have tried to work on it in counseling.  Over the last few months, her behavior has become very erractic.  She has been clinging to any male attention she can get.  This whole situation in this small town where we have lived her whole life has become very negative.  She has gotten in with the wrong friends.  Heres the big thing.  I have been dating a great man for the last 3 1/2 years who lives in California.  We live in Alabama.  He has been an answer to prayer for all of us including my 12 yr old son who's father has never been very active.  He loves and adores both of my children as if they were his own.  After discussing it with my children and getting the "go ahead", we got engaged in Feb.  My daughter was excited and "ready to get out of this place".  Now it is May and she is saying she is not going.  That she doesn't think she will fit in out there and that its "not her". She says I should just stop caring about her and let her alone. She has become withdrawn and angry She is terrified for some reason that we will "get her out there and never let her come back".  We have both reassured her that when she finishes school, if she still wants to come back we will send her.  I know she is just insecure and scared but this is ripping my heart out.  I hate to see my daughter in so much pain.  What do I do?  She wants to go back and live with her dad even though we both know deep down it is not a good situation.  Her stepmother does not like her very much and is very jealous of her.  It was a volatile situation there.  My son is so excited about the move and looks forward to making new friends.  How do I choose?  and should I?  Should I just let her do what she wants even though I know she will be sorry for the decision?  Do I go anyway with my son knowing that its not fair to him to deny him the amazing opportunities ie: sports, education etc. and a mother who can finally be at home for him?  How do I walk away from my child?

 
May 26, 2009, 8:59 am CDT

My 17 year old is out of control

My daughter is 17 who had my grandson in march of last year. She is currently smoking marijuana and running the streets for money. She has stolen from me numerous times and I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't want her raising my grandson. She has been put on medication for bipolar and will be put on medication for adhd. I just dont think this is the answer.

I have tried therapy before and she was too you and refused to think anything is wrong.

I need help and need it fast before it is too late if it is not already.

 
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