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Topic : Troubled Teens
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October 18, 2005, 8:45 pm PDT
 I have a 14 year old son he is the oldest of my 3 boys. He has never liked school and this is his first year of high school. I was hoping that maybe starting in a different school would help him out. Well school started in Aug and I have already talked to most of the teachers and he is failing 2 classes and a D in another. He seems to not care about his grades cause he feels that they are not important. He loves the outdoors hunting etc. We have taken these privalages away several time but it does not seem to help in the long run. I am very worried about his behavior at school and at home. He told me tonight he does not want to live here away. He get very mad and frustrated very fast. I try to hold my own temper, but when it is not even noon and I have already gotten phone calls from 2 teachers that becomes very hard. I just want him to care about something and I am not sure there is much he cares about these days....please help. IF you have any suggestions I would love to hear from you |
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October 18, 2005, 9:56 pm PDT
Quote From: wolfdoz I have a 14 year old son he is the oldest of my 3 boys. He has never liked school and this is his first year of high school. I was hoping that maybe starting in a different school would help him out. Well school started in Aug and I have already talked to most of the teachers and he is failing 2 classes and a D in another. He seems to not care about his grades cause he feels that they are not important. He loves the outdoors hunting etc. We have taken these privalages away several time but it does not seem to help in the long run. I am very worried about his behavior at school and at home. He told me tonight he does not want to live here away. He get very mad and frustrated very fast. I try to hold my own temper, but when it is not even noon and I have already gotten phone calls from 2 teachers that becomes very hard. I just want him to care about something and I am not sure there is much he cares about these days....please help. IF you have any suggestions I would love to hear from you "I just want him to care about something..."
Have you ever taken him to a mental health practitioner for an evaluation? My suggestion is to get an evaluation done to see if an antidepressant is the answer right now. Or, it may be as simple as sitting down for a heart-to-heart and figuring out the important things to him.
I know with the cousin I posted materials on previously today, she has had a mental health eval. and they felt that antidepressants were her answer, and my aunt said she saw big personality differences when she actually took the meds....her problems are probably partly due to not taking her MH meds.
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October 19, 2005, 6:19 pm PDT
I need a major assessment of my life. My frankly, it sucks, or the majority of it, at least in my opinion. I am a 14 year old freshman Chinese loser, and that I think is the root to all my problems. I really think that’s how it is, and I’ve got so many reasons to support my idea. My parents suck because they are Chinese. I have hardly a social life, because I’m Chinese, and my self-esteem is quite pitiful too (because I’m Chinese.). I really need some guidance to help me for the next 3 and ½ years till I can move out of my parent’s house to the other side of the country, and forget everything about my past, but the urge to slit my throat is quite defining, especially now that I’m in high school, and even more pressure is building up..
My parents don’t suck just because of the fact that they are Chinese, but because that they were raised in a communist Chinese environment, they end up that way. They are incredibly unsupportive of me. All they do is pay for my lunch money, and they tell me that they are good parents. I don’t even think that they know what grade I am now in. They are also the cheapest people I know. They want me to be a doctor, or a lawyer, just for the paycheck. To them, I’m just an investment, no different than a stock for a company. Every time I try to start a conversation with them, they either tell me that I’m stupid I shouldn’t talk about something that I don’t know about, but when I try to talk about me, and my life, they tell me to stop being so selfish, and thinking of myself. I want to make video games when I grow up. That’s not going to change, no matter what anyone says, but my parents blame all of society’s problems on them, just because some Chinese lawyer lost a case in a California lawsuit about video games. My dad is far worse than my mom though. He thinks that because he is the money-maker of the house, the rest of the family has to worship him, and do whatever he pleases. He also considers school for me, and staying at home cleaning up the house for my mom some sort of thing that we enjoy, and we do just for the pleasure of, and he is the only hard-working person in the house. When ever me and my dad argue, and I bring up a good point, he only gets madder, because he knows that he’s wrong and he will do anything he can to make him think that he’s right. He is also quite racist, which I think is a little ironic. He thinks that all white people are inferior to Chinese, and that all black people all only good for athletics, and physical work, and he thinks that all Mexicans should be mowing lawns. He tries his hardest to make everyone around him angry or annoyed whenever he feels it. He doesn’t like me being Christian (although that is probably the only thing keeping me alive today), because he thinks that it’s too good to be true, like one of those free ipod ads, and there’s some kind of hidden fee. He also won’t take me to church, and the only way that I can talk with other Christians about Christ is at our school once a week for around 15 minutes in FCA (fellowship of Christian athletes). They both refuse to listen to the doctors, the eye doctors, and everyone else that says I have physical problems, and place the blame on me. It’s my fault I have allergies, and it’s my fault that my eyes are deformed and I need glasses. In short, my dad is perhaps the most narrow-minded person since Hitler that I have ever laid eyes on, which is all because of his Chinese ness.
My social life sucks too. Up till this year, I was a straight-forward nerd. The kind of guy who was too shy to do anything and never thought about anything else but school, because I thought that school was the only thing to worry about. But this year, it all changed. I decided to throw that mentality into the dump, and make myself a new person, one who’s louder, and outstanding. Someone worth remembering. Everyone from my old middle school hasn’t really accepted that, and they think that I’m out of my place. Every time they come talk to me, they start with the same 3 main ideas that they want me to grasp. I’m fat. I’m stupid. And I’m Chinese. I always ignore them, but that makes them think that there is no consequence to them doing that. It’s not really offending as it is annoying, because sometimes, I want an interesting conversation with someone, but they just do that, and it really pisses me off. Even some of my old nerd friends from the school have joined them. For what? I don’t know, and I don’t care. All I know is that I’m going to have to watch my back a little better. But it’s not bad on this front. People from the other schools are actually pretty interesting, and they are nice, and they can accept change, but they live so far away, and my parents won’t drive me anywhere, so except for school, I can’t really hang out with them much. But every one that lives near me does suck, so I consider this a loss, because of my being Chinese. If I wasn’t Chinese, then I could have realized sooner that there are more important things in life then money, and the means to get it.
My self esteem is pretty strange. I know that I’m fat, I know that I am stupid, and I don’t think straight, and I don’t fit in well. But the odd thing is, is that I’m ok with it. It’s just annoying when people just bring that on me, just because they are too boring to thing of something more interesting to say. The only two things that keep me alive are Christ, and the thought that maybe something better will happen tomorrow. Maybe my parents will die in a car crash, and I can have foster parents, or maybe my side of the town will get nuked when I’m a state away so I don’t have to put up with the assholes of my school. But till then, I have very little to hold on to.
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October 19, 2005, 8:32 pm PDT
Quote From: meganawade "I just want him to care about something..."
Have you ever taken him to a mental health practitioner for an evaluation? My suggestion is to get an evaluation done to see if an antidepressant is the answer right now. Or, it may be as simple as sitting down for a heart-to-heart and figuring out the important things to him.
I know with the cousin I posted materials on previously today, she has had a mental health eval. and they felt that antidepressants were her answer, and my aunt said she saw big personality differences when she actually took the meds....her problems are probably partly due to not taking her MH meds.
Well we did sit down last night and again tonight. I am helping him stay on track when it comes to getting his work done. I have gotten in touch with all the teachers and hopefully that way I can stay in touch with what he is doing at school. So when he tells me that there is no homework I will know for sure. He would like to go hunting and wrestling starts soon so I am hopeful these extra things will also help |
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October 21, 2005, 6:38 am PDT
My 16 year old daughter has really begun to act out. In July she went to a carnival in town with some friends. She was not home by curfew, rolled in at 7:30 a.m. after I called the police, hospitals, etc. (Her cell phone had died so I couldn't get in touch with her all night!!!) She admitted they'd had a couple of beers and she essentially passed out. She walked home 'cause she was only about 1 mile away at a friend's house. So I came down pretty hard - no phone, no computer, grounded, etc. Slowly over the ensuing months, she got her privledges back. The last one was the ability to go in a car with friends anywhere. So just a couple of weeks ago, 3 months after the drinking incident, she was allowed to go to the mall with a couple of so-called friends. (She's been out with friends prior but I'd driven.) They went to the mall 'cause she came home with stuff she'd bought, but they also detoured to a guy that does tattoos on underage kids. She got it on the inside of her wrist, it's about 1" around and she hid it with her wide watch band. (She has a watch that looks like a wrist band, it's about 2" wide.) Now I've got the cops trying to find this guy. My daughter doesn't know his name and the friend who took her won't give up his name. BTW, I only found out about the tattoo a week after she got it because the other kid slipped up and told her Mom that my daughter got one. The Mom immidately called me, thank God! My husband is in the military and is in Iraq. My ex-husband is useless. I did tell him and he was very non-supportive for me. All he did was berate me for being a bad mother. A little history: At the age of 11, my daughter saw him beat the crap out of her step-mother while he was in a drunken rage, get taken away in cuffs by the cops, etc. He cheated on me with his current wife and has now cheated on her several times. My daughter has met several of his "girlfriends". This is all why we live several states away from him! When we lived in the same town and my daughter was going every other weekend, she was often left with sitters while he went out. Anwya, after seeing the beating of her step-mom, I took her to counseling after that, but she refused to talk. We are going again now, but again, she won't open up. She says nothing is mentally wrong - she just made bad decisions. I think it was for her dad's attention, because he did spend 3 hours on the phone with her the day I told him. I am still so angry at her and hurt. I did ask her if she felt I really needed the extra stress from her with her step-dad in Iraq right now. Perhaps that was my attempt at a guilt trip, but it is also the truth! I took today off work to be with her 'cause she is off school. The counselor said she certainly gets plenty of attention from me - we are always doing stuff together and talking over dinner, but I felt leaving her alone on a day off was a sort of freedom she didn't deserve right now. (I just found out about the tattoo a week ago today.) I know compared to other kids, she's not bad over all. 5 A's and 2 B's on her last progress report, she helps around the house, etc. But she is making some crap decisions and I need it to stop before she really harms herself. With hubby in Iraq and my ex no help, I really could use some advice. Thanks!!!! |
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October 21, 2005, 6:51 am PDT
Quote From: jdwg1324 I need a major assessment of my life. My frankly, it sucks, or the majority of it, at least in my opinion. I am a 14 year old freshman Chinese loser, and that I think is the root to all my problems. I really think that’s how it is, and I’ve got so many reasons to support my idea. My parents suck because they are Chinese. I have hardly a social life, because I’m Chinese, and my self-esteem is quite pitiful too (because I’m Chinese.). I really need some guidance to help me for the next 3 and ½ years till I can move out of my parent’s house to the other side of the country, and forget everything about my past, but the urge to slit my throat is quite defining, especially now that I’m in high school, and even more pressure is building up..
My parents don’t suck just because of the fact that they are Chinese, but because that they were raised in a communist Chinese environment, they end up that way. They are incredibly unsupportive of me. All they do is pay for my lunch money, and they tell me that they are good parents. I don’t even think that they know what grade I am now in. They are also the cheapest people I know. They want me to be a doctor, or a lawyer, just for the paycheck. To them, I’m just an investment, no different than a stock for a company. Every time I try to start a conversation with them, they either tell me that I’m stupid I shouldn’t talk about something that I don’t know about, but when I try to talk about me, and my life, they tell me to stop being so selfish, and thinking of myself. I want to make video games when I grow up. That’s not going to change, no matter what anyone says, but my parents blame all of society’s problems on them, just because some Chinese lawyer lost a case in a California lawsuit about video games. My dad is far worse than my mom though. He thinks that because he is the money-maker of the house, the rest of the family has to worship him, and do whatever he pleases. He also considers school for me, and staying at home cleaning up the house for my mom some sort of thing that we enjoy, and we do just for the pleasure of, and he is the only hard-working person in the house. When ever me and my dad argue, and I bring up a good point, he only gets madder, because he knows that he’s wrong and he will do anything he can to make him think that he’s right. He is also quite racist, which I think is a little ironic. He thinks that all white people are inferior to Chinese, and that all black people all only good for athletics, and physical work, and he thinks that all Mexicans should be mowing lawns. He tries his hardest to make everyone around him angry or annoyed whenever he feels it. He doesn’t like me being Christian (although that is probably the only thing keeping me alive today), because he thinks that it’s too good to be true, like one of those free ipod ads, and there’s some kind of hidden fee. He also won’t take me to church, and the only way that I can talk with other Christians about Christ is at our school once a week for around 15 minutes in FCA (fellowship of Christian athletes). They both refuse to listen to the doctors, the eye doctors, and everyone else that says I have physical problems, and place the blame on me. It’s my fault I have allergies, and it’s my fault that my eyes are deformed and I need glasses. In short, my dad is perhaps the most narrow-minded person since Hitler that I have ever laid eyes on, which is all because of his Chinese ness.
My social life sucks too. Up till this year, I was a straight-forward nerd. The kind of guy who was too shy to do anything and never thought about anything else but school, because I thought that school was the only thing to worry about. But this year, it all changed. I decided to throw that mentality into the dump, and make myself a new person, one who’s louder, and outstanding. Someone worth remembering. Everyone from my old middle school hasn’t really accepted that, and they think that I’m out of my place. Every time they come talk to me, they start with the same 3 main ideas that they want me to grasp. I’m fat. I’m stupid. And I’m Chinese. I always ignore them, but that makes them think that there is no consequence to them doing that. It’s not really offending as it is annoying, because sometimes, I want an interesting conversation with someone, but they just do that, and it really pisses me off. Even some of my old nerd friends from the school have joined them. For what? I don’t know, and I don’t care. All I know is that I’m going to have to watch my back a little better. But it’s not bad on this front. People from the other schools are actually pretty interesting, and they are nice, and they can accept change, but they live so far away, and my parents won’t drive me anywhere, so except for school, I can’t really hang out with them much. But every one that lives near me does suck, so I consider this a loss, because of my being Chinese. If I wasn’t Chinese, then I could have realized sooner that there are more important things in life then money, and the means to get it.
My self esteem is pretty strange. I know that I’m fat, I know that I am stupid, and I don’t think straight, and I don’t fit in well. But the odd thing is, is that I’m ok with it. It’s just annoying when people just bring that on me, just because they are too boring to thing of something more interesting to say. The only two things that keep me alive are Christ, and the thought that maybe something better will happen tomorrow. Maybe my parents will die in a car crash, and I can have foster parents, or maybe my side of the town will get nuked when I’m a state away so I don’t have to put up with the assholes of my school. But till then, I have very little to hold on to.
Is there a teacher, a counselor that you trust? Your comment about slitting your throat concerns me greatly and you really needed to talk to a trusted adult. I won't try to convince you these are the "best years of your life" cause the teen years can be harsh. You also mention Christ so if you are a Christian, you know the life he has given you is precious! It is His to take away. I would suggest you pray, but I think you need more. Is there a minister you trust? Talk to someone. Please!!! Not being Chinese, I cannot say I know what you are going through, but you are probably correct that your parents upbringing molded them to what they are. Keep that in mind! They were raised to be this way and they can't control some of that because it is so ingrained. But also know that they came here to give you a better life. You do have far more opportunities here than if you all still lived in China. What do you love to do? You say you are a geek. Why? Are your hobbies geeky? Well, I'm sure Bill Gates got called a geek a lot too and look at him now! So the heck with what anyone else thinks! What do YOU want to do? Not the doctor or lawyer that your parents want, what do you want? What moves you in life? I doubt that you are as stupid as you say. And if you truly are fat, you can work on that on your own. Take walks, meditate while walking. Picture how you want your life to be in 5 years, in 10 years. Sometimes in life, we have to fake it to make it. We also have to act "as if". This all means that sometimes you must act happy, even if you aren't and it will help you change you perception. You also have to act as if things will get better. 'cause they will. not right away perhaps. But you can change your future!! But again, please talk to someone. These boards are great, but I think you need some one and one in person conversation. |
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October 21, 2005, 4:23 pm PDT
Hi all.
I have a nephew whose future is in alot of trouble if I can't get him some help/intervention. He is the direct product of an alcoholic mother that's been completely unloving, critical, verbally abusive, neglectful, not mentally stable, etc etc. for his entire life. Now that it's almost too late, I am feeling an incredible burden about what his future holds.
The only thing I can think of is that ranch in Texas that Dr Phil has talked about on his show for troubled teens but CANNOT remember the name of the place.
Can anyone help me??
THANKS!
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October 21, 2005, 5:08 pm PDT
Quote From: cbrima5 Hi all.
I have a nephew whose future is in alot of trouble if I can't get him some help/intervention. He is the direct product of an alcoholic mother that's been completely unloving, critical, verbally abusive, neglectful, not mentally stable, etc etc. for his entire life. Now that it's almost too late, I am feeling an incredible burden about what his future holds.
The only thing I can think of is that ranch in Texas that Dr Phil has talked about on his show for troubled teens but CANNOT remember the name of the place.
Can anyone help me??
THANKS!
C- C - I did a little searching and found a few links that I hope will be helpful to you. Be sure to click on all of the resources and links on each page to hopefully find what you need.
http://drphil.com/shows/show/85/ - There are several helpful links on this page including one to a ranch in Colorado. This show focused on runaways.
http://drphil.com/shows/show/525/ - This show dealt with rehab and one ranch mentioned was La Hacienda Ranch (http://www.lahacienda.com/) which is located in San Antonio.
http://www.drphil.com/shows/show/277 - Finally, during the Family In Crisis shows, the Happy Hills Farm in Texas was mentioned (http://www.happyhillfarm.org/).
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October 21, 2005, 6:07 pm PDT
Quote From: DrPhilBoard2 C - I did a little searching and found a few links that I hope will be helpful to you. Be sure to click on all of the resources and links on each page to hopefully find what you need.
http://drphil.com/shows/show/85/ - There are several helpful links on this page including one to a ranch in Colorado. This show focused on runaways.
http://drphil.com/shows/show/525/ - This show dealt with rehab and one ranch mentioned was La Hacienda Ranch (http://www.lahacienda.com/) which is located in San Antonio.
http://www.drphil.com/shows/show/277 - Finally, during the Family In Crisis shows, the Happy Hills Farm in Texas was mentioned (http://www.happyhillfarm.org/).
Thank you so much! I beleive it was the Happy Hill Farm that I was thinking of.
C- |
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October 23, 2005, 7:54 pm PDT
Quote From: jdwg1324 I need a major assessment of my life. My frankly, it sucks, or the majority of it, at least in my opinion. I am a 14 year old freshman Chinese loser, and that I think is the root to all my problems. I really think that’s how it is, and I’ve got so many reasons to support my idea. My parents suck because they are Chinese. I have hardly a social life, because I’m Chinese, and my self-esteem is quite pitiful too (because I’m Chinese.). I really need some guidance to help me for the next 3 and ½ years till I can move out of my parent’s house to the other side of the country, and forget everything about my past, but the urge to slit my throat is quite defining, especially now that I’m in high school, and even more pressure is building up..
My parents don’t suck just because of the fact that they are Chinese, but because that they were raised in a communist Chinese environment, they end up that way. They are incredibly unsupportive of me. All they do is pay for my lunch money, and they tell me that they are good parents. I don’t even think that they know what grade I am now in. They are also the cheapest people I know. They want me to be a doctor, or a lawyer, just for the paycheck. To them, I’m just an investment, no different than a stock for a company. Every time I try to start a conversation with them, they either tell me that I’m stupid I shouldn’t talk about something that I don’t know about, but when I try to talk about me, and my life, they tell me to stop being so selfish, and thinking of myself. I want to make video games when I grow up. That’s not going to change, no matter what anyone says, but my parents blame all of society’s problems on them, just because some Chinese lawyer lost a case in a California lawsuit about video games. My dad is far worse than my mom though. He thinks that because he is the money-maker of the house, the rest of the family has to worship him, and do whatever he pleases. He also considers school for me, and staying at home cleaning up the house for my mom some sort of thing that we enjoy, and we do just for the pleasure of, and he is the only hard-working person in the house. When ever me and my dad argue, and I bring up a good point, he only gets madder, because he knows that he’s wrong and he will do anything he can to make him think that he’s right. He is also quite racist, which I think is a little ironic. He thinks that all white people are inferior to Chinese, and that all black people all only good for athletics, and physical work, and he thinks that all Mexicans should be mowing lawns. He tries his hardest to make everyone around him angry or annoyed whenever he feels it. He doesn’t like me being Christian (although that is probably the only thing keeping me alive today), because he thinks that it’s too good to be true, like one of those free ipod ads, and there’s some kind of hidden fee. He also won’t take me to church, and the only way that I can talk with other Christians about Christ is at our school once a week for around 15 minutes in FCA (fellowship of Christian athletes). They both refuse to listen to the doctors, the eye doctors, and everyone else that says I have physical problems, and place the blame on me. It’s my fault I have allergies, and it’s my fault that my eyes are deformed and I need glasses. In short, my dad is perhaps the most narrow-minded person since Hitler that I have ever laid eyes on, which is all because of his Chinese ness.
My social life sucks too. Up till this year, I was a straight-forward nerd. The kind of guy who was too shy to do anything and never thought about anything else but school, because I thought that school was the only thing to worry about. But this year, it all changed. I decided to throw that mentality into the dump, and make myself a new person, one who’s louder, and outstanding. Someone worth remembering. Everyone from my old middle school hasn’t really accepted that, and they think that I’m out of my place. Every time they come talk to me, they start with the same 3 main ideas that they want me to grasp. I’m fat. I’m stupid. And I’m Chinese. I always ignore them, but that makes them think that there is no consequence to them doing that. It’s not really offending as it is annoying, because sometimes, I want an interesting conversation with someone, but they just do that, and it really pisses me off. Even some of my old nerd friends from the school have joined them. For what? I don’t know, and I don’t care. All I know is that I’m going to have to watch my back a little better. But it’s not bad on this front. People from the other schools are actually pretty interesting, and they are nice, and they can accept change, but they live so far away, and my parents won’t drive me anywhere, so except for school, I can’t really hang out with them much. But every one that lives near me does suck, so I consider this a loss, because of my being Chinese. If I wasn’t Chinese, then I could have realized sooner that there are more important things in life then money, and the means to get it.
My self esteem is pretty strange. I know that I’m fat, I know that I am stupid, and I don’t think straight, and I don’t fit in well. But the odd thing is, is that I’m ok with it. It’s just annoying when people just bring that on me, just because they are too boring to thing of something more interesting to say. The only two things that keep me alive are Christ, and the thought that maybe something better will happen tomorrow. Maybe my parents will die in a car crash, and I can have foster parents, or maybe my side of the town will get nuked when I’m a state away so I don’t have to put up with the assholes of my school. But till then, I have very little to hold on to.
My Dear Child, Your email touched my heart and I feel compelled to write to you. I'm no psychiatrist, just a parent/grandparent raising my five grandchildren on my own. I'd like to ask you a few questions if that's okay. Why are you ashamed of who you are? There's nothing wrong with being Chinese. The Chinese have contributed so much to history besides good food. You have a lot to be proud of! My Father came from the "old country"of Beirut, Syria. He always told us that you should never be ashamed of who you are. There is good & bad in every race and nationality and you shouldn't blame an entire race on the actions of a few. So, just because your Dad is set in his ways doesn't mean you have to be ashamed of being Chinese.
You say you're fat, stupid and don't fit in well? Says who? What does it matter what those other people say, why do you believe them? I'm fat. So what? Does it bother me? Yeah. But, I can lose weight if I start walking and eat the right foods. How can someone who wants to make video games be stupid? That sounds pretty creative if you ask me, besides, I can't even play the darn things much less make them! I"M 58 years old too! Sometimes when people say things to me that are hurtful I might tell them "What you think about me is none of my business." It's their opinion. That's all. I used to have low self esteem. I learned over time to love myself. Quit telling yourself you agree with all those negative thoughts. You absolutely should not be okay with it! RISE ABOVE! You said you thought of committing suicide...do you realize that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem? Suicide is not the answer. Christ is there for you. God gave you life and only He can take it away. I agree with you that if it wasn't for Christ I wouldn't be alive. Why is that? Because I go to Him with my needs. I have learned (In the last two years) that you have to trust God to meet your needs. Why do you think the Israelites had to wander for forty years before they got to see the promised land? Because they didn't trust God to meet their needs.
You don't really want your parents to die, you're just angry. God COMMANDS us to "Honor Thy Father and Mother." That is a commandment. So no matter what, they're still you're parents. My parents are both dead. My Mother was an alcoholic and my Dad abused me. But I knew that they loved me. I realized later on as an adult that my parents did the best they knew how with the knowledge they had. I don't know what kind of life they had as children, so who am I to judge? I have forgiven them and I wish with all my heart that they were here with me now.
I agree with the other writer that you can find help by talking to someone. I know that prayer does help. Do not pray for harm to come to your parents. Pray for God to heal your wounded heart. Jesus says "Come unto me all you that labor and I will give you rest." Pray without ceasing. It works. I'm living proof that it does. Does life get better? Yes. Do you still have problems? Yes. It's part of life. But it's up to you to make the choices that will give you the peace you seek. I read that "You are the sum total of the choices you make in your life." CHOOSE to ignore negative comments about your appearance, intelligence, etc. CHOOSE to tell yourself you are worthy. CHOOSE to RISE ABOVE those that think they are better than you. CHOOSE LIFE, CHOOSE to live your life as you see it. CHOOSE to be proud of your heritage. CHOOSE to love yourself and your parents for who they are, even if they aren't what you would like them to be. CHOOSE to change yourself, because I can tell you from experience that you cannot change others, including your father. By changing yourself, you change how you think of others and learn to love you for who you are. I see that person as a bright young man on the brink of greatness! Nothing is impossible if you believe in yourself. The only limitations are in your mind. By the way, there's nothing wrong with being a nerd.
You said your parents won't give you a ride, can you catch a bus or a ride with a friend? How about talking to them on the phone? Don't they have social functions with the youth group at church? Where there is a will there is a way my friend. Never give up on anything! Especially on yourself! I don't know your name, but I will keep you in my prayers. I'll ask my family & friends to do the same because I believe in the power of prayer. Go to your library and find the book "The Power of Positive Thinking" by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale. It's a good book. Another book is "In The Grip of Grace" by Max Lucado. He's a wonderful Christian author, he's also a minister. His books have helped me tremendously. Remember too, that you are loved. God loves you and so do we. OH, another book is "The O'Reilly Factor For Kids" by Bill O'Reilly. My twelve year old granddaughter recommends it.
You have a lot to live for and I hope that one day I'll see you on the Dr. Phil Show as a success story. How a fourteen year old overcame obstacles in his life and invented the most popular video game ever created! I will leave you with one last thought. It's one that my brother sent to me when I was overwhelmed with getting my five grandchildren as foster kids, then adopting them. I sounded like you, I didn't know what to do. I have kept that email quote from him for five years now and I'll leave you with it: "The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you" |
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