I am a single mother of two children. I am on disability. I have chronic pain diseases and I have had about 16 surgeries in the past 5 years. Prior to that I worked 50-80 hours a week depending on what my kids needed. When I wasn't working, I spent every waking moment with my children. Both of my children. Playing with them, laughing, I thought that we were a very close family. I have a 17 year old daughter and a 11 year old son.
When my daughter was 12, she began lying. ALOT. Looking back, I guess she always lied. But, this became more severe. She started making threats of suicide when she didn't get her way. Like if she wanted to go to a football game and I said no. She would nonchalantly say with a flip of her hair, "Well, then, like, I'm just gonna kill myself". At first, I took this VERY seriously. I took her to the doctor and began her on ant-depressants. Then I found out that she wasn't really taking them. An example of some of her most outrageous lies...
1.) She began doing odd things...like, walking around the outside of our house for hours and hours. She wouldn't come in. I would beg her to. I even tried to bribe her. I would tell her that I made her favorite dinner or I had rented her favorite movie and she would very calmly say no thank you, I like doing this, I want to exercise. This went on for almost a month, nearly every day. What she didn't know was that I was calling my mother and my sister, crying asking them what I should do. Then the bombshell was dropped. She called both of them and lied to them and told them that I locked her out of the house and wouldn't let her come in and wouldn't even let her come in. I was heartbroken. I couldn't believe that my baby girl could say something like that.
Things have gotten way worse over the years.
I began to suspect that maybe she had a mental disorder. I guess in a weird way that I hoped that she did because she began being cruel and mean to me and her little brother. I started taking her to many different therapists, social workers, case mangers, psychiatrists trying to get her help. She was "diagnosed" with bipolar disorder, histrionic personality disorder and possibly a sociopath. The reason that I say "diagnosis" is because no one really wants to formally "diagnose" her because of her age. So, they just say she has a "mood disorder".
She started taking bipolar medication January 20, 2006. They didn't help. Nothing did. Because she is 17, I was told in the state that we live - in the psychiatric world, she is considered an adult and she can stop her treatment at any time. And, since she doesn't think she has a problem anyway, she stopped taking her medication without me knowing. And, signed herself out of all therapy. I have had her randomly drug tested and she has always come up negative.
Another night, she wanted to scare her brother and made another suicide threat because I wouldn't let her use the phone. She started playing in the knife drawer saying that "something bad" was going to happen "if she didn't get her way. I don't allow her to manipulate me the way everyone else does so, I said, you know what? If you really think that you are going to hurt yourself then I will drive you to the hospital and get you help but, you are not going to use the phone. Period. She goes into her bedroom and leaves the door open. My son is scared and goes to check on her. The next thing I know, he comes out of her room pale as a ghost, shaking and crying and all's he can get out is "blood, blood everywhere".
I go into her room and she is sitting there with a towel under her leg and she is smiling. When she sees me, she starts crying, I see what looks to be blood on her leg and I asked her if it was real or fake and she wouldn't answer me. (I was recovering from hand surgery on my right hand and was in a cast and had to hold my hand straight in the air) I told her that if she didn't answer me, I was going to call the police because I didn't know what else to do, she still didn't answer me. I said, OK and I call the police..as soon as I call, she jumps up and says that it was fake blood and wipes it off with a towel. The police tell me that they have to send someone over anyway. My son is hysterical and tells me that he saw a knife. She denies it. She tells me that when the police get here, she is going to make them think that I am the one that is crazy and that is exactly what she does!
I go into her room the next day and find a knife with fake blood on it between the wall and the mattress the next day. When we go to her therapist's office, I ask her in front of the therapist if she ever had a knife, again - she says no. I pull it out and show her in front of the therapist and she says, "Oh - THAT knife, I thought you meant another knife!"
She is now being physically violent with my son. I have had to pull her off of him on more than one occasion. I sent her to live with my mother once and my mother sent her back and told me that she wouldn't ever let her come back to live again. But, my mother lets her get away with everything. My sister barely talks to me anymore primarily because of how much my daughter lies.. I don't know what to do anymore.
I can't get anyone to help me! She is so manipulative! She lies to everyone and 99% of everyone believes her. My son and I live in hell and no one cares! Does anyone have any advice?
Thanks so much and sorry this is so long!
