Topic : Troubled Teens

Are you against teen violence?  I know of a woman here in canada who's son was brutally murdered by another teen they were both 14 years old, here is my dilema. We here in kitchener ontario canada are trying to get as many signatures on a petition to change the young offenders act here in ontario, this kid is going to get a slap on the wrist and we don't want these kids who do these heinous crimes to get away with it. Here is where you come in I need you to go on to this website and sign the petition for us every little bit counts. the site is as follows (www.inmemoryofdustin.com) please help in our fight to change this law, forward this site to those you know would like to help. Thank you for your time.  

i dont get along with ANYTHING my parents do.. seriously like ANYTHING i think my mom is the biggest bitch ever at times and my dad is just w.e theyve cauyght me for almost everything ive done and they give me way to many consequenses.. and dont trust me at all because i used to do drugs and all that 

any advice? 

Maybe it has something to do with your attitude. You have to realize that there are consequences for your actions good and bad. If you do something bad, there will always be a bad consequence whether its from your parents, a police officer, a teacher, or even a friend. 

If they've caught you for "everything you've done", then you got caught and you have to suffer the consequences. Your parents love you and take care of you and give you food, clothes, a roof over your head...etc. In exchange for all of that, you are expected to follow certain rules and guidelines that your parents feel will shape you into a productive and healthy member of society. 

If you do something wrong, you gotta own up to it and don't complain. You're breaking the rules here, you know the consequences but you broke them anyways. 

I think you need to look at these situations from your parent's perspective. They are worried sick about you and it seems like you've been quite a handfull. 

I know how it is because I used to be a drug addict and I have parents who love and care for me. I understand why they don't trust me now because I used to be a drug user for 3 years...In fact, I started smoking weed again...I am guilty, and when I'm caught, I'm gonna have to own up to the consequences of my actions because I am at fault for breaking my parent's trust (which took me a long time to earn back, but I messed up again). 

I'm not some square adult, I'm 18 years old and I'm telling you straight up...be thankful that you have loving parents and don't think of them as a b**ch, but think of them as people who are trying their best to watch out for you. Don't give them anymore trouble, you can't change them, just be a good kid and show your parents that you are mature enough to handle yourself in the real world and that you can be responsible.  

Your parents are just trying to prepare you for the real world (there are always consequences for your actions in the real world, just like at home). Be good to them and they'll be good to you. 

Twelve years ago my aunt died of a drug overdose.  She left behind two boys, ages 2 and 9 at the time.  My parents, out of the goodness of their hearts, took the boys in and have have them in their home for the last 12 years.    

The youngest just turned 15.  He has been diagnosed with ADHD,  and a defiance disorder.  While he is incredibly atriculate and smart, he uses these skills to manipulate, control and destroy others.  Most recently, he took his birthday money and purchased marijuana and when my parents caught him, he placed broken glass in their bed because he was angry with them.  He is medicated for ADHD and my parents also have medication to help him sleep.  Within the past two weeks, he also had his first girlfriend and when she promptly broke up with him two days later, he began to self-inflict wounds on his face by scratching.   

My parents have given more of themselves for this child than I would have ever thought imaginable.  They have him in weekly counseling, he is under the supervision of a psychiatrist who prescribes the medication, and they constantly are trying new things trying to "break through".  My brother has made false claims with CPS against my dad in an attempt to manipulate a situation where he was in trouble for hitting a peer.  He said he only hit because my dad hit him.  The calims were unsubstantiated, but because there have been three, CPS somehow views my parents as in the wrong.  CPS has investigated, and if anyone has dealt with this agency, you might guess, they have lots of "do's and don'ts" that don't apply to this situation and they've done nothing to assist my parents.  

My parents petitioned the court to become legal guardians 12 years ago.  We are now wanting to somehow safeguard my parents from being liable for any actions my brother might take.  Does anyone have any advice or lessons learned from similar happenings?   

Thank you for anything you might be able to share,   

Unequipped   

I have a 15 year old step son who is currently in a specialty boarding school for troubled teens.  He hates it and hates me for having him put there.  He thinks I lied to him about the program and that they lied to me about the program.  He was failing out of school, abusive to myself and our family pet, ran away from home and is severly addicted to video games to the point that he wouldn't do anything but the games.  He was addicted to these games as bad as a drug addict would be to drugs.   We found this school in New York called Academy at Ivy Ridge.  It specializes in troubled teens.  It is connected with a program called Premier seminars which helps teach the parents deal with their children in the program.  He has been in the program for 6 months and he is no futher ahead than he was when we put him there.  I was wondering if anyone out there has had any experience with this type of program and any information they could share would be helpful.  My son is making me think we made the wrong choice in sending him there or maybe he is just trying to make us feel guilty for doing something this drastic to save him from his own distruction. 

Up to this point we tried anything and everything to help this child at home and we were starting to get in our own way.  We needed to seek outside intervention and we found this school through "help my teen" web site.  After several months we made the choice and off he went.  We are only able to communicate with him through email until he earns the privlige of a phone call, which he isn't even close.  The process of this school is to take away all of their life conforts and they have to earn them back through making the right life choices.  He hasn't made the right choices yet. 

If anyone has any input, it would be great to hear from someone and know I'm not alone...... 

Your step son may have an illness. Addiction (if severe and destructive) is a disease. Just like my addiction to marijuana and hashish. This boy needs to be evaluated by a psychiatrist and treated medically first, then put into some kind of councelling. Although, I wasn't abusive to my family, I was still sick with an illness and needed medical treatment. I used marijuana to mask the effects of Clinical Depression, which I did not know I had until I was medically treated and diagnosed by a psychiatrist. Your step son is probably sick with some kind of illness and is using video games as a way to mask the pain. 

I was having simular problems with my step son and we were never able to break through.  We tried every organization, doctor, therapy, bio feedback, you name it including adhd medication and mood altering medication.  Nothing worked.  We are now trying a specialty boarding school and the jury is still out as to whether or not this is working.  He has been there 6 months and so far no improvement.  They tell us that he didn't get this way in 6 months and he can't be fixed in 6 months..