Topic : Troubled Teens

I'm not sure what this boarding school does exactly, but I've just heard that the Netherlands is now utilizing rehab facilities for teens addicted to video games because it gives better results than other remedies that they've tried.  Maybe it's something worth researching?

I have a beauitful 15 yr old grandaughter. She has had a very tough 15 yrs I must admit. Her father (my son) has spent most of her 15 yrs in jail. Her mother is currently living from house to house with 2 smaller children addicted to drugs. My son currently has her living with him . He has turned his life around after many yrs of drug abuse. He is not using drugs and has a great job and is attending school once a week for his job. My grandaughter is totally out of control, and I am afraid for her. While she was living with her mom, her mom would let her do what ever she wanted with whom ever she wanted. She had no direction, was never taught to respect anyone. Her father is doing good with her as far a disipline, and setting ground rules for her. She has fought him tooth and nail on everthing. Her grades are straight "F" He has had her on punishment for sometime now. I have to give credit for doing the best he can. He. He really wants the best for his daughter and is trying to do the right thing for her. She had been sneeking out of the house at night and hanging out with the wrong crowd. Just this past week-end she ran away from home for 3 days. This is not the 1st time she has taken off. Only before she was still living with her mom and her mom just didn't care where or who she was with. She likes to drink and uses marjuana and who knows what else. She is angry because she was found and is trying to get out again. Her father is afraid that she is going to run away again. He did file a missing person report with the police dept. Her mother told her straight out that she didn't want her anymore. Her father is stressed out and does not know what to do. Everyone is giving him diffrent advise which is confusing him. I tell him he needs to seek profesional help, and not to give up on her. If I had given up on him who knows where he would be today. Please any advise?

Your advice to your son to seek professional help is the right advice! Your son can’t deal with this on his own; obviously, what he is doing now isn’t working. Your granddaughter is going to push the limits and boundaries as much as possible until she knows that she is valued. At this point in her life, she might feel that she isn’t worthy of anything good, so why bother. I know it must be very difficult to stand by and watch this happen, feeling powerless, and it must break your heart. What you can do is every opportunity you get, tell her that you love her and let her know why. Don’t focus on beauty or appearance, focus on inner beauty, let her know that as her grandmother, you KNOW she is smart, that she is worthy of happiness, and that she can achieve anything she puts her mind to. These are things she has to hear many, many times, just to get hope. Your son needs professional help as soon as possible! He needs guidance from a professional on what steps he needs to take, what type of punishments, etc. are appropriate. Keep suggesting this to your son until he does it, even if you start to sound like a broken record. Your granddaughter only has 3 more years as a minor, only 3 more years that her dad has the power to make a difference (as far as forcing her to go to therapy, etc.) After she turns 18, without being taught why or how to make good decisions, she could end up in jail and repeat the cycle that her parents raised her in. Don’t ever give up hope, I wish you the best!

There are some things you should check out that are crucial in the health, welfare, safety, and service delivery of your child and his/her well being.  First of all any program that states they "fix kids" is not a good placement, people are not fixed, treated, wrapped around, are more likely to happen, not fix.  We can provide tools, supports, and love but alot of work goes along with that. 

  

Make sure that the program you are looking into is licensed appropriatly don't only rely on the program itself to tell you check with the county and state in which it is in, ask how many if any problems they have had and how they responded.   

  

There are list serves across the country that folks can join to get appropriate information as well from other parents these are helpful. 

  

I live in MA where no "transporters" are licensed and most folks do not use them as a matter of fact most programs here do not accept kids unless they are willing to participate. 

  

Lastly, the Ed Consultants - be sure they are reputable and actually have experience, I reccomend getting evaluations done by Licensed Doctors - and have them go over the findings and reccomendations with you.  Least Restrictive Enviornment is always best - most often if a child truly needs a placement a school system or state agency will pay for it I know it is a long road to get there.  I personally am leary about programs that you can apply for loans online for.  pfrr.org 

  

  

Did you ever imagine that raising kids could be so hard?  Believe me, you are not alone.  I have 3 children, and it seems that my husband and I are always tackling a new problem depending on our children's age.  There is no textbook answer, but we did watch a video called Civil Wars.  It is about disrespect, violence, and unruly behavior.  The DVD was from a television show that shows real kids and true stories.  NO ACTING!  If you go to www.connectwithkids.com you can get information about this video and many others.  It truly is worth the effort to investigate this avenue.  Good luck. 

I am a 54 yr old mom,trying to cope with an out of control 15yr old son.   

He lies,steals,breaks things,drinks,is defiant,swears at me,challenges me every chance he gets.   

He goes to counseling once a week.He said the doctor said it is my fault, I am not consistant in my   

behavior and discipline.I try the nice approach first when that gets no response I turn into a drill   

sargent.I try to talk to my son but he becomes angy and tunes me out.I looked into a behavior modification program with costs of 3600.00 a month for a12 month program it is out of reach.   

He broke into a locked door we had pad locked to keep him away from the computer and the vodka.   

I took him to the police station who sent me home with a family intervention contact number.   

It looks like my only options are to let him get in trouble so he can go before a Judge and be sent to   

a detention center.............or take out an other loan on our home to send him into a program.   

Yesterday he stole 50.00 out of my wallet, he had 20.00 I had given him the day before so with 70.00 he and a group of friends  were able to get some booze with the help of some adult going into a local store and buying it for them.They took it into the woods and had a party!  I am sure there was more at that party than I know about.   

I hope the "person" slept well last night, I can not belive an adult could stoop so low.............   

What if one of these kids were drunk,got hit by a car or drank too much and died?   

What are some people thinking..........   

I am stressed and tired and don't know what to do.   

You may ask what about his father,he threatens to beat the crap out of him I don't belive in beating    

children so that dosen't happen so he verbally tells him what a losser he is and takes every prevlidge away for about 2 days and has a change of heart.................gives most of his stuff back and we start on the same raod yet again.   

   

I hear about troubled kids and I wonder if I have one.  Recently, I suspected my 14 year old was using pot.  I confronted him and he said yes he was.  The next week he was over his friends house and they were drinking, again I asked and he said yes he was.  The problem is that he is an only child, his father committed suicide 11 years ago, and he sometimes seems so unhappy.  He does not lie.  He takes his punishment, mopes around the house and is just quiet.  I have enrolled him in basketball camp for a week so he is not sitting home just watching TV.  He hates it, even though he likes basketball.  He claims he is not good enough in any sprots.  He struggles as a student.  He is a very nice person.  I do not like his "best friend" because he seems to struggle with self estem problems and so does my son.  I said to my son that a good friend should bring out the best in you.  I try to talk with my son but he sometimes does not respond.  I have had him in counsling but he just sat there, not contributing and this went on for months.  I want him to be happy.  We try to have family time, respect him but, like I said to him, he has made poor choices lately and I need to be strict again, I just dont like the fact that his attitude is so negative, and we are not a negative family.  I worry about his biological father, his struggle with drugs and alcohol and the suicide that happened because of his demons.  I just dont want my son to follow in this path.  I am scared.  I feel like I have no common ground with my son.  Any suggestions on how to keep my relationship with my son?

As a mom of 3 and since I work in a school, I feel like I have been exposed to many of the issues teens face today.  Realistically, I also know that there are many issues that I have not been exposed to.  At the school where I work, we have adopted a character education program that addresses many of the issues that teens are faced with today.  Actually this company has produced many DVDs from television programs.  The DVDs show real kids and their true stories.  I think the reason that the kids are receptive to these DVDs is because there is NO ACTING.  It is a cool approach to many touchy subjects.  For instance there are DVDs on bullying, drinking and driving, self-injury/cutting, and the list goes on.  You can go to the company's website and preview these videos.  The DVDs are now available for purchase.  See what you think by going to www.connectwithkids.com  You will find information on all types of issues that teens deal with today.  You can sit down with your child and watch the videos or your child can even watch the videos with a group of friends.  Good luck.

everyone here is advertising "connectwithkids.com". It's a really great site.

Hi,   

I am the Mother of a 15-1/2 year old daughter.  She has had something happen to her in the past few weeks.  Just a quick question?  What is sexual assault from a boy to a girl?  What is attempted rape from a boy to a girl?  Would a 15-1/2 year old boy, know he is doing wrong if he comes on to a girl, and gets very physical with her?  How many girls have been assaulted, but not to the point of rape, whom are afraid to tell anyone?   

I will write more to this story soon.   

Thanks