Topic : Troubled Teens

call me crazy but I never thought i would have to deal with a 14 year old boy cutting on himself.  He has a counselor he is ADHD   He is not at the point were it is cutting himself  deep yet.  I have talk to some people and this is not uncommon.  I just do not understand it.  Can anyone help?

I'm just looking for advice from the perspective of a parent. See, I have just turned 18 and feel that my parents are not treating me like a young adult. I am a senior in high school, earn a B average and take advanced classes. Though I am not at the top of my class, I do assume responsibilities in school. Yet I am not allowed out past ten on weekends, 8 on school nights, and can only drive my car to and from school. As soon as I get to school I have to call my mom to tell her I made it there ok. Their over protection has cost me a relationship with a boy I really liked, and because I am currently grounded, I don't get to see my friends. It's starting to take a toll on my emotional health and I'm losing my appetite. I can't concentrate in class. I have had plans to go out of state for a weekend next month but I am not allowed to because they believe the friend I am going with is "a bad influence". This friend does not do drugs, does not force me to cave into peer pressure. She has been with me through the difficult times of high school and we are really considering moving in together when we go to college locally next year. 

  

I will probably not go away next month just because I am determined to fix the deteriorating relationship with my parents. But I know it will just cause me more unhappiness because I am not doing and expierencing things my age people should get to. I have tried talking calmly but they don't take into consideration much of what I have to say. If things are not patched up soon I will make the difficult decision of moving into my friend's house until we can financially afford an apartment in the spring. 

  

I know this was long and a load of words that don't seem worth listening to, but I am hanging by my last thread and just want to be happy without jeopardizing my relationship with my parents. 

My friend lives in California.  She has a sixteen year old son who is on Meth.    Can someone recommend a residential facility located in the US that is locked?  They apparently do not have locked facilities in CA.  Also, does anyone know of a good facility that is reasonably priced?  Can be anywhere in terms of location.  Thanks. 

  

Any advice would be helpful. 

I don't know if this will help.  I didn't get my license until I was 23 years old.  I had a hard time with the test too.  I do not believe that you are dumb.  Maybe you are trying to hard.  I feel that you are being to hard on yourself.   I do the same thing.  I have to get up in the morning and look in the mirror and tell myself I am a good person.  It is very hard to do, but I do it.  I use to cry alot alot.  Sometimes not knowing why I was crying.   You need to believe in yourself.  I have found out failure is a part of life.   That is a hard bitter pil to swallow.  IF you could look at failure as a area in which you need to improve, maybe that would help.  I get up and make a list of things that I need to improve in.  Sometimes I only accomplish one thing a week.  I look at failure now as a challenge.  

Good Luck I Know You will get your license. 

My daughter is bipolar and was a cutter. 

  

She used rubber bands to help stop cutting. She wore the rubber bands and whenever she woudl get th eurge to cut she would simply snap the rubber bands... they woudl sting and leave a little pain but no bleeding and scars to worry about. 

  

For her cutting was to relieve the pain she felt on the inside. She always said it was easier to deal with physical pain than emotional pain. I hope your son can come terms with what is bothering him. Does he have a special education plan to help him get through school? My daughter did a lot better once we had that in place to help her deal with her bipolar.   

  

Please try the rubber bands for your son. It really helped my daughter to stop cutting. Whenever she is stressed she just puts on a band and it makes her feel better.  

  

I hope this helps.   

Tammy 

my niece was a cutter in the past...she had problems and went to live with her dad for a while and realized that life at mom's wasn't so bad!  She came back to her mom's and at times wants to cut but hasn't...as my SIL puts it she is her own worst enemy...she constantly "bites off her nose to spite her face!" but the good news is she hasn't cut herself again yet...I read my SIL (her mom) your post whihc we both found interesting and she said she would suggest it to her daughter...so we'll see.  Thanks again. 

  

 hi. i saw your message and just thought i could help. im 14 and i am a cutter. its usually about emotional pain that gets really overwhelming. in my case i dont feel confortable talking to anyone about stuff, but for most all you have to do is start the conversation on what is bugging them. if he knows your trying to help, he should lighten up.
For me, rubberbands didnt help. i just snapped them on my wrist till i bled. im not sure how he would act  towards them. hope i helped you some, and good luck!

hi but maybe this isnt my business but why do you cut yourself instead of talking.i mean i dont talk either i dont cry.i handle my pain and problems with volience.

I am scared to death of my sons temper and moods. He is 14 and his father and I just found out 3 wks ago his ex-girlfriend is preg and today I just read his IM's and it said his girlfriend is preg. He keeps talking about killing himself (to his friends) on his IM's and/or killing us. He has been through alot. When he was 1 and ahalf he was almost killed while my mother was holding him and his grandfather can in and shot her. His real father is a jerk and wants nothing to do with him, his step father love him but my son is standoffish now. He is ok on outside to us but he is hiding things and I have to read his im's to see how things are going. We might move and he wants to kill us for that but we might not have choice but he also can't seem to keep it in his pants and that scares the heck out of me. I cked in to places for troubled teens but they want almost 5thousand a month and with only one person working and 5 kids how does one get help? I am scared of state facilities. He needs help and so do we. I want him to be around forever and at this pace he won't. Please someone give information on what to do. 

Scared mom 

  My husband and I have 5 children between the two of us. Recently, my stepchildrens mother died and the children came to live with us full time. They both appeared to be doing well. That was until my stepdaughters hamster died. I had checked on her hamster about a week ago and the hamster was out of food, but I did'nt think anything about it because she always came downstairs to get the food. Now all of a sudden the hamster is dead! I asked my stepdaughter if she ever fed it and she said it had been sick for a while.  I had the most uneasiest feeling so I did what I never thought I would do and that was to read her diary. And there it was written out for me to see. She said she had killed her hamster, had in fact starved it to death. And then she  compared it to how her mother looked when she died. What on earth do I do about this? I know she needs counseling and we have already set up something, but I cannot let her know I read her diary, but I am not too sure if I can act like I dont know. All that keeps going through my mind is that she purposely murdered her little pet and caused it all that suffering. HELP!!!!