Topic : Stay At Home Moms

  OK so here it is.... I am 27 years old with 4 boys. I have an 11 year old, 8 year old who has passed, a 3 year old and a 5 month old. I have always been a working Mom until June of this year, when I gave birth to my youngest son 2 months early. My boyfriend had been a stay at home Dad and I supported us. I was a waitress and as many of you I am sure know that being a waitress you always have cash on hand. Accoeding to Doctors one of us needed to stay at home with our premature son, I volenteered because he scared my boyfriend being so tiny and all. I have come to realize that being a stay at home mom and the family being supportrd by one income is not all it has cracked up to be. The uniform for this job I have found leaves something to be desired, House shoes of course or socks that never seem to match though they are a lovely shade of white. Sweat pants and one of my boyfriends holy T-shirts draped with baby spit, dog drool and juice boxes. My hair a lovely shade of dirty brown and falling out is always pulled back into a ponytail, thus leading to this morning when my rubberband snaped and poped me in the finger I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. How do you do it?  I love my children, my dog and boyfriend, though somedays I would love to be in a QUIET place I could not imagine it with out them. Do you know how hard it is to pee while being asked questions through the door? My boyfriend lucked out, when he stayed a thome he got the cute years, I get the potty training, new baby, 11 year old who thinks he is 25. Fantastic. I also did not realize how many phone calls in one day you could actually get from your mother in law, who is probly calling to make sure you did not raid the liqour cabnet. What she does not realize the only time I need a drink, and I mean a very very strong one is after I hang up with her. I did find help for that one on the internet though, a disconnet message to put on you phone, it is absoluty amazing how many more phone calls I got when they thought my phone was disconnected, are you kidding me?! They thoguht that I would somehow decide to turn it on in the next 20 seconds, then when I did answer they said "oh I thought you phone was disconnected" thus leading me to standing in front of a mirror wondering, actually the only thing I was wondering if my face really looks like that when I run into a person that just makes you want to say... wow. The finance side of things is bad, I hear of moms being penny pinchers on one income but how do you do that when there are no pennys to be pinched? Christmas is a whole nother issue.... how do you do it? I completly have been stressed out, there are like 23 days of shopping left with no money and a whole lott of kids what do you do? Explain the meaning of Christmas, ok.... but that is easy to say but would you want to do that to your children? I mean really come on... that is a cop-out. Toys mean something or they would not have toy for tots or other organizations like that. ok now to the kids, where is the balance? How do you really have a minute to just be? I feel like I am going insaine. Screaming. yelling, crying, whining, slamming doors, I never knew that people under 3 feet could be soooooooooo draining. If you have any advice for me please please let me know. Or if anyone has a vacation home in cabo witha nanny that would be fantastic!!! :) Teasing, unless you really have one.... just some advice. PLEASE!! and by the way though moms are Gormet Chefs, Proffessional Cleaners, Assistants, Coaches ( Soccar... thats another thing, who would have thought that seasons last that long) Stylest, Barbers, Shouffers and Designers, you can not put that on a resume! I mean come on, Ok well I hope you all enjoy my self profile. This is my life and I do love it, just if there is anything that would make me love it more, my ears are open.
Thanks, Amanda daltonco@sbcglobal.net

Hi All,

 

              My name is Mary, I'm 25yrs old and as of November a mother of two girls. I'm a stay at home mom (what a concept) and not very good at it. I cant get the baby to sleep or my 8yr old to act her age. This is the first time I have not needed or had a job in my adult life and I want to go back to work! lol

 

I love both of my girls. I miscarried four babies in between, so I know they are blessings. But I wish they had another mother. How sick is that? I play things  in my head that I should say or do but never do it. I love my better half but he leaves alot in my hands that a real mother should be able to handle.

 

While I'm here...does anyone have any tips on how to make a 7week old sleep?

I am a 26 year old mother of six and the thing that i always used was a good warm bath and a warm bottle of mile with a teaspoon of baby cereal in it and it always did the trick.... Hope you try it and it works..

                                                                                                      Jessica

The best thing you can do is to take some time out just for you. Your youngest MUST get used to being with other people. Don’t feel like you are being mean when you do this; it is for his own good. Is there a preschool in your town that you could enroll him in? He might not be old enough, I think most take them at three and a half. If possible, consider finding a very part-time day care for him, one that is highly structured, so that he can get accustomed to being around other children his age and learn to enjoy it. Even if he only goes one day a week, that is a whole day of a break for you, and he is getting socialized.
I understand what you are going through with the difference between your step child and your children/the way they are treated by the grandparents. From what you’ve described, it sounds like the grandparents are raising this young girl as though she is their own child, not a grandchild, that means that they feel a huge difference in what they ‘owe’ your kids. Also, your children have the benefit of having two parents living with them, your step daughter lives with her grandparents, and perhaps they are constantly trying to make up for that. They can only make you feel that you don’t do enough for her if you allow them to make you feel that way. If you know in your heart that you are fair, then don’t give them the power over you to make you feel bad.
Stay at home moms need breaks! You have to go after what you need, want and deserve and don’t feel bad about it. Even if you just read a book without the kids around, it is time just for YOU. I urge you to find a way to make it happen, it is a priceless gift to give yourself.

Do You Feel Guilty For Needing Time Alone???
Current mood: mellow
Category: Religion and Philosophy

 

 

WELL DON'T...

You are not a machine, you were made in Christ's image and look how many times He had to go off and be alone....ahh never thought of it that way huh? Look, needing time alone is normal...feeling guilty for taking it is not...that is just the enemy whispering in your ear......"what's wrong with you? Why do you need time alone? Your kids don't get enough time with you as it is." You aren't going to be good to anyone if you don't take care of yourself first. You probably are already a wreck and need time, but you keep pushing ahead and making everyone around you miserable. (I say it cause I love you) :)

 

I wrote this letter to one our moms today....she expressed feeling guilty for needing time alone, this was my response to her....maybe it can help you too!

 

"Hey! I am glad you wrote....first you know what? It is ok for you to feel the way you do...it is OK! Deep breath. Sounds like you got a lot going on and you are trying to make a lot happen for you and your family and you know what? It is ok what you feel and it is normal for you to feel that way. The light at the tunnel is that you are moving and moving towards some people who can help...that is huge, so huge I wish I had that. I have to work really hard everyday to make things happen for my daughter with other people because everyone lives so far away...and I work from home and sometimes I need to break out and be alone. So you know what???? That is ok too.

 

It is ok for you and I and moms to say....TIME OUT! MOM NEEDS A TIME OUT. Once a month I go grocery shopping at 10 PM on a Saturday night. I get a coffee and walk around and ha ha....sounds dumb but, it works..and there is no one there to stress me out...and my husband and daughter are home sleeping. Or I go out to church on a Friday night or during the week. Or I pick one night every other week to just go out alone and get alone time. It doesn't matter what I am doing as long as I am setting the tone for myself and at home that, "mommy is going to go out for a bit."

 

We need that.....and if you experienced postpartum.....getting regular alone time to reboot and refresh is important!!! Don't feel guilty for looking forward to alone time. Instead when you feel guilty start by thinking.....its a mental health date for you....and check out. It helps me so much. Even when I'm like, what is 2 hours going to really do? I come home refreshed and ready for another week. Look you probably multi task like I do and sometimes I am beat...I am a mom a wife, a person a daughter....we wear lots of hats...so do me a favor and ease up on yourself and take a break......do it for me...because once you start doing that, you won't feel guilty for taking a break...you will feel guilty for letting your emotions and anger build up and taking it out on everyone else when you know you could have avoided it by just taking some time!!!!

Be well, and always write when you are lead to. Love ya! Visit us on myspace.com/brokenmoms or brokenmoms.com

Currently reading :
Broken Moms
By Liana Preble
Release date: 06 April, 2007

Also, your phone line will be tax deductable because it is being used for business only.  That's a great thing.. and LiveOps does NOT take taxes out of your pay, which means you will need to keep at least 30% of your pay so come tax season you will have the money. All in all.. it's not for everyone.. but I think it's great for me.  I have worked retail and I loved it.. so why wouldn't I be able to do retail over the phone?  Im sure many of you would be able to do this... as long as you are up for it.  Good luck everyone... and take care.

I'm new to the board, and I just wanted to say I hope I can learn a lot from other SAHMs here on this board.

Im a 30 yr old sahm from upstate ny to three daughters

 

Im looking for moms to become friends with? please email me at nella772@yahoo.com, if u want to become freinds..

 

thanks, hope to hear from u soon!